r/sysadmin • u/Different_Coffee_161 • 18d ago
Rant Hey, are you available?
“Hey”
waits
“You available?”
waits again
My brother in IT, just tell me what you need 😂
Just send:
“Hey, I’ve got a user having an MFA issue. Got a few minutes?”
Boom. Perfect.
Now I know what you need, whether it’s urgent, and whether this is going to take 30 seconds or somehow turn into a 45-minute troubleshooting session.
I’m not asking for a full ticket description or your entire troubleshooting history. Just give me one sentence of context instead of making me reply “yeah, what’s up?” every single time.
Thank you.
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u/Particular_Archer499 18d ago
I leave it sitting there until they say something useful. I got shit to do.
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u/lordjedi 18d ago
I did this for a while and people just started ignoring me. Not sure if that's good or bad. I don't even mind getting paragraphs in the chat, but something more than "Hey" is good.
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u/itishowitisanditbad 18d ago
I did this for a while and people just started ignoring me.
Win
Must not have been that important then.
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u/lordjedi 18d ago
Nah. I think they just assumed I wasn't there despite the green dot in my status and the message getting marked read. Hence why I occasionally leave chats unread when I don't want to talk to people LOL
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u/tdhuck 18d ago
Marked read?
I have that off.
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u/lordjedi 18d ago
Not possible in Google Chat. Might be possible in Teams. I just don't give the chats focus and that usually works. If it comes in on my mobile, even better. I can read the chat on the notification without having to select it. So I know what they want, but they think I haven't read it.
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u/ImmediateLobster1 18d ago
This is the best way to deal with it.
Unless you're my boss, or his boss, then I'll tolerate it. Keep doing it and I'll bring it up in a discussion ("hey $boss, I'm sure you're trying to be polite, but if you just jump right to what you need in a Teams/slack/whatever message, that's more efficient, and will let me help you fix the issue mote quickly."
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u/Nuxi0477 18d ago
I do the same, or reply back with a "Hi" at the end of day before logging off. Better luck tomorrow buddy!
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u/Madd_Mugsy 18d ago
This plus I make myself permanently "busy" on teams to prevent spontaneous calls
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u/PhalseImpressions 18d ago
To show I am actually at the keyboard I do the messaging version of the Spock raised eyebrow:
?
And then we see where the conversation goes from there. You give me nothing to work with O give you similar.
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u/SecDudewithATude #Possible sarcasm below 18d ago
Uno reverse card them - send an ambiguous emoji response:
“You Available?”
🌲
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u/Eternal_Glizzy_777 18d ago
We've employed "No Hello" culture at our company and it's probably been the only time I've been excited that something has been referred to as "company culture." Hopefully you can spread the good word (or not, as it were).
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u/Triairius 18d ago
I want to send this to people but I am nervous to lol
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u/Routine-Jam-48 18d ago
The link to NoHello is my current status on the company chat application. I simply ignore all plain “Hi” messages now.
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u/Triairius 18d ago
I would do that if my current status wasn’t already “Have you put in a ticket?”
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u/DrewTheHobo 18d ago
This plus the phone number for the frontline support and link to submit a ticket
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u/bythepowerofboobs 18d ago
It would certainly get you a meeting with HR in my company.
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u/anomalous_cowherd Pragmatic Sysadmin 18d ago
Whereas my IT director was right behind me using it. And also would start any escalated call about a problem with an issue with "what's the ticket number?"
About 2/3 of the problem raising users went away again at that point. He was awesome.
I'd say the company attitude to using nohello is a good indicator for whether they are good to work for.
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u/dinnerbird 18d ago
My favorite part about that website is watching "hello" being typed out in all the different languages
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u/mc_it 18d ago
I've introduced three higher-ups to this when they asked me why I start all conversations with something like "Hi to you, here is my issue/question/followup"
I don't know if it'll spread, but if I can reduce the random "hellos" like this, I'll be happy.
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u/Sirbo311 18d ago
I usually do something like "hey, low pri question (short description like subject line)" or "nothing is broken, need some help with xyz, you got 15 min today sometime? "
On the flip side, if something is broken I will call that out and briefly describe
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u/dj_1973 18d ago
I do this. I detest the hanging hi.
Hi (name), hope you’re doing well today.
Quick question, is the veebleglexor supposed to go behind the snorkblaster? Let me know when you have a second.
Thanks!!
Maybe it’s wordy, but I work in a very polite office. I usually get my answers quickly.
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u/Lanrick2002 Jr. Citrix Admin 18d ago
I have a coworker who does a similar thing. Sends a screenshot of the issue without any information on what has been done.
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u/Vaxcio 18d ago
Best is when its been cropped to exclude all possible context besides the obscure error.
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u/JerikkaDawn Sysadmin 18d ago
With a "more details" arrow front and center, unexpanded.
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u/TheJesusGuy Blast the server with hot air 18d ago
Hey could you click more Details?
Sorty Ive closed it now.
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u/admiraljkb 18d ago
Ermagherd... that's been super infuriating just from customers! BUT - much of it is from my own guys escalating issues that I've repeatedly told to NOT crop out relevant details/context. I get the non tech peeps doing it, but my own subordinates? Damn guys.
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u/wonkifier IT Manager 18d ago
[insert "You guys are getting paid" meme]
You get not only an error message, but an obscure one?! I'd kill for that sometimes
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u/BloodFeastMan 18d ago
One of my worst pet peeves is being suddenly included in an email chain that's been going on for days with zero context, or, even worse, being forwarded a really long email chain with either no context, or "FYI" at the top.
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u/TaxHazyShade 18d ago
"Looping in BloodFeastMan for context .."
uh ... i don't have the context, and i don't have time to read a 10-page email that I know nothing about.
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u/GeneralJabroni 18d ago
Our CEO (at at MSP) does this ALL. THE. TIME. He'll have an email chain with a client with a whole Bible's worth of text and just forwards the whole thread to our ticketing system. One of these days I'm gunna call him out on it and compare him to the IRS.
"So you know exactly what you want me to do, but you won't tell me. Instead, you want me to do all this work/reading to deduce what it is you want me to do and, if I get it wrong, I'll get in trouble. WHY?"
Part of me thinks he does this on purpose so we spend more time reading through it, which means more time spent on the ticket, which means we get to bill the client for more $.
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u/RagnarStonefist Sysadmin 18d ago
screenshot of email inbox
'I'm having trouble with my mail'
that's great Brenda. what kind of trouble
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u/GeneralJabroni 18d ago
Honestly I love when the users include screenshots. "A picture is worth 1000 words" and all that. Best part is when they get an "error" and send it to me and I can reply with "That's not an error, those are instructions. Read it, do it, and email me back if you still have issues. Closing this ticket."
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u/cjcox4 18d ago
My favorite is the frustrated employee who takes their context-less ticket and submits it multiple times.
000001 Hey!
000002 Hey!
000003 Hey!
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u/WorthPlease 18d ago
PLEASE HELP
....no notes.
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u/fencepost_ajm 18d ago
"Based on the problem information you've provided, I don't think help would do any good."
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u/Bart_Yellowbeard Jackass of All Trades 18d ago
It's not working! EMERGENCY!!
(zero information on what IT is)
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u/Stephen_Dann Sr. Sysadmin 18d ago
Help
Hi, what do you need help with.
A week later. It is still not working, when will it be fixed.
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u/GeneralJabroni 18d ago
"I need help with my email."
Hello, user. I left you a voicemail at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Can you please give us any details as to what problem you're having? If you're getting errors, screenshots of the error would be extremely helpful, I might just be able to solve it without having to get a hold of you on the phone.
"This is not resolved!"
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u/VectorsToFinal 18d ago
My favorite version of this is "I tried to do XYZ but got an error."
What is the motherfucking error?! So annoying.
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u/texan01 Jack of All Trades 18d ago
Dunno, I closed it as soon as it popped up!
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u/Mental_Beginning_698 18d ago
The best part of it is when they write the software and error handling and have the same generic network error for everything.
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u/Hotshot55 Linux Engineer 18d ago
nohello.net
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u/Uli-Kunkel Security Admin 18d ago
Aka.ms/nohello is my office message in teams.
I still get the
Hey Uli
...
Quick question
....
Vague description.
...
You have time to jump with the customer in half an hour
These messages are generally over 2-3 days
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u/lordjedi 18d ago
I saw this for the first time a couple of months ago in an employees email signature. Love it!
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u/MonkeyBrains09 18d ago
I am at a point in my career where I just ignore those messages.
Its like if someone said hi in a hallway, it does not always mean a following conversation needs to follow.
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u/True_Move_7631 18d ago
Best ticket I ever saw.
I have a problem.
Write the user back for more info, receive an auto response mail, they're out of office for the next 3 weeks, fml.
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u/BlitzAceSamy 18d ago
Reply back that telling user to open a new ticket with more information, close the ticket, marvel at your excellent ability to close tickets so fast
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u/pdp10 Daemons worry when the wizard is near. 18d ago
This happens less by accident than you think. People are often soliciting a commitment from you before telling you what they want.
Now I know what you need, whether it’s urgent, and whether this is going to take 30 seconds or somehow turn into a 45-minute troubleshooting session.
You have it right, you're just assuming good faith -- that the counterparty is eliding information totally by accident.
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u/mrrichiet 18d ago
TIL "elide" was a word, and I consider myself to have a reasonable vocabulary.
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u/Lower-Telephone7550 18d ago
Uh oh! Linguistics is sneaking into the sysadmin subreddit!
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u/IOUAPIZZA 17d ago
For real, laughed at the comments, came away with a new word to use!
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u/KneticTheory 18d ago edited 15d ago
"Where are you right now?"
Does my location affect your problem? Im not an antenna.
Well...back in the 80s but that was a CRT TV and Im still mad at my Dad about that. Might be my IT origin story too. I feel confused now.
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u/PoeTheGhost Madhatter Sysadmin 18d ago edited 18d ago
^^^^^^^^^ Me, every time they’re being intentionally vague:
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u/crcerror 18d ago
Hey? You available?
….
Yes! I’ve been trying to reach you about your extended warranty. Thank you for reaching out.
…
Work sucks sometimes, add some fun into it where you can.
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u/cornellartworks 18d ago
“If you are experiencing an IT issue, please reach out via the ticketing system.”
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u/RabidTaquito 18d ago
I don't know how many of you need to hear this, but you can (and should) disable Read Receipts in Teams. I know it doesn't solve the issue of users not providing context, but it does allow you to read messages when they do and then decide for yourself if it's worth your attention and/or replying to. Plus it gives you an "Oh I didn't see it" out and lets you transition to asking why it wasn't submitted as a ticket when the user escalates to a manager about why their issue wasn't aided.
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u/Secret_Account07 VMware Admin 18d ago
This drives me fucking insane. Like my biggest pet peeve. Sometimes it’s not even something my team does. However, had they opened up a ticket it would have been routed to, you guessed it!, the right team!
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u/Fluffyfluffycake Sr. Sysadmin 17d ago
You replaced my screen yesterday and now the whole department cant print.
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u/whiskeytab 18d ago
I just straight up ignore those messages now. If you can't even be bothered to tell me what you want then it can't be important
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u/RagnarStonefist Sysadmin 18d ago
user: hi
me: hi
user (typing)
user (typing)
user (typing)
USER IS CALLING YOU ON TEAMS
ignore
user (typing)
user status changed to unavailable
manager: hey User says you're not being responsive
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u/ProfessionalEven296 Jack of All Trades 18d ago
Change your signature to include the URL https://nohello.net/en/
We work across timezones. If you send me 'Hi', you might be at home in bed before I see it. I'll reply with "What do you want" (other taut replies are available); you've now lost a whole day in getting your problem solved. Saying "Hi - my blue widget has turned red. Can you look at it" means that I can get on with the job, and if it's well specified enough, the solution is waiting for them when they get back to their desk.
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u/Coldsmoke888 IT Manager 18d ago
MSP 1st level agent at 3am local time when I do not work “hello.”
Agent places ticket on hold pending caller feedback.
Welcome to my life ;)
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u/friendly-asshole 18d ago
I accidentally deleted prod
Goodmorning btw
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u/fluffy_warthog10 18d ago
"Good morning, why are you not online? We have an outage."
[Looks at clock, 06:15 local time]
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u/Purple-Path-7842 Jack of All Trades 18d ago
Hey dog, wanna hop in a call and catch up after 2 years of not talking?
Yeah sure
By the way can you help me with my computer....?
Never fails.
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u/regularGuy0000001 18d ago
Blank email, "Please call me" as subject line, from private email that gives no clue who the fuck sent this.
Eventually followed by a 5 paragraph long rant CC'd to your supervisor about your lack of professionalism for not answering an urgent call about the network being down for the whole office (it isn't, they are using the guest network and can't find the printer)
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u/jorwyn 18d ago
When that leads to "I can't log in." And I finally bite "to what?" Them, "anything." Me, "well, you do seem to be logged into IM." No answer for over an hour. Then, "I can't log into the database." Me, "which one?" Them, "all of them." heavy sigh
Me, "I don't see you attempting any MySQL or Oracle db logins. If this is mssql, please contact the windows admin. I have no access there."
Another hour later, "(coworker) said I have to be on vpn. I've never had to be before." Me, "you absolutely have to be on vpn to connect to any database unless you're in the office, and I know you're not in the office right now." Him, "no, I don't." I don't answer.
3 days later, I get an upset message from his boss. "$idiot says you're not helping him log in, and he can't get his work done." Me, forwards chat log. "He's not on vpn. I just checked. Have him connect and see if it works."
This was a DBA, btw.
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u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 18d ago
The thing that sends me over the edge, "can you call me?"
What? Fucking no. I'm not your assistant. YOU call ME if you need something. Why put in the effort to say call me instead of just calling?
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u/fluffy_warthog10 18d ago
I'm lucky in that I generally know that means "someone needs to tell me something that should not be in a chat log", and I can calibrate my expectations.
The downside is that it's probably about something that should not be in a chat log.
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u/bentbrewer Sr. Sysadmin 18d ago
Yep, this is what i expect when I see "do you have a sec?" in a leading message in chat. The messenger wants to talk face to face.
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u/chesser45 18d ago
Getting sent that is my biggest pet peeve, it’s worse when you some some colleagues that literally will just say “Hey” and it’s like a handshake protocol, they literally will never proceed until you reply. I’ve policed my chats days later and they just continue on once you say hello back to them. Causes eye twitching.
Also those people that ask you how you are before they ask their inevitable question. I know you don’t actually care and want me to reply “good” so why we doing this?
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u/turboRock Storage Admin 18d ago
Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
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u/UMustBeNooHere 18d ago
Hi this is a UDP message. Here is x, here is y, here is z. K! Byeeeeee!
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u/MortalJohn 18d ago
I've got a guy the just sends the word "Help!!!". Told him off because it means we don't know who to send. Is it first line, second line? Engineering? Media? And as usual its usually something like he needs a battery for a remote of wireless mouse and then I've got to walk all the way back to the helpdesk to get one, because no, I don't keep AA batteries on my person at all times Gary!
Changed name, but you get the point.
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u/No-Island8074 18d ago
Boss reached out the other day asking to “touch base”. Then adds a 30min appointment on my calendar titled Touch Base. 100% thought i was getting laid off. Got an increase instead.
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u/Stonewalled9999 18d ago
I don’t respond to “hey” or “can you call me”. I wait for a ticket. Sometimes it comes, often it doesn’t.
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u/realCheeezeBurgers 18d ago
Hi... Are you available? ... I have a problem. ... Do you have time? ... I need help. ... Added a meeting to your calendar. ... Did you see it? ... Can you confirm? ... I'll just come by your desk ... Would now be a good time? ... I cancelled the meeting. Reboot fixed it.
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u/Totentanz1980 18d ago
This is exactly like when people leave a voicemail saying "hey, call me back."
I will not be calling you back.
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u/VacuumTubesAreFunny 18d ago
“I need Adobe on my laptop”
“Adobe what??”
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u/Awlson 18d ago
And what is the tag on your laptop?
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u/StMaartenforme 17d ago
I retired from IT after 42 years of these types of support work tickets & cslls.
Summary: computers are easy, people are hard.
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u/matt314159 Help Desk Manager 18d ago
I hate getting an email that says "hey call me when you get a chance". Bruh file a ticket.
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u/binaryhextechdude 18d ago
That either gets totally ignored or it gets replied to 5 minutes before end of day.
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u/Cpt_plainguy 18d ago
We have recruiters that reach out to employees to see if we are available for a last minute interview, they usually just say Hey. So we ignore them
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u/Green_Environment133 18d ago
yep, this, 100%. those “hey” pings sit in my teams list like little landmines because i don’t know if it’s a five-second password reset or a 2-hour outage. i’d rather get a “hey, vpn tunnel dropped for 5 users, got 10 mins?” and triage it than play that awkward back-and-forth every single time.
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u/CDXX_BlazeIt 18d ago
My Indian colleagues always like „Hi <name>“. And then they will wait for my reply before saying what they want
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u/binaryhextechdude 18d ago
I refuse to reply to these "Hey\Hi" messages. Instead I fume silently and completely lose focus on what I was doing before the message came in.
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u/ElectricThreeHundred 18d ago
Worse than no-content IMs is when they see me, and suddenly remember they needed me for something. NVM that I am carrying shit and walking briskly and purposefully - it's time to address their problem now. Object permanence should be fully developed by 12 months of age.
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u/ticklemeozmo 18d ago
We call this a "Conversation Captcha" and the people "Hi-Jackers" because they hijack your focus before steering it into the ground with their agenda.
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u/Excellent-Program333 18d ago
“Quick Question”……..or the ever so subtle “Can I pick your brain for a minute”
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u/QuietThunder2014 18d ago
What are you doing tonight?
Why the fuck are you asking me? If you want me to help you move I’m busy. If you want to invite me to a party I’m down.
Same energy. Hey just means “I’m about to bug you with something of zero importance but I’ve decided that I’m going to demand you immediately drop everything to do what I want becuase fuck you.”
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u/nerobro 18d ago
At work I would scold anyone who asked to ask.
"Do you have a minute?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Can you help?"
NO. NO I do not. I have time to do my job. I do not want to spend an extra 3 sentences ~getting started~. Espeically if you don't respond in the same timeframe I respond to you in.
(I typically would respond in less than 15 seconds....)
I will not waste your time. Do not waste mine.
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u/sully213 Jack of All Trades 18d ago
Then there are those that will give you all of the details, but break up their message into one message per line of text or sentence so my phone beeps at me 10 times for something you could have literally just sent in a single message if you kept typing instead of treating the messaging client like it's a typewriter with a manual carriage return!
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u/approvedbyinspector5 18d ago edited 18d ago
My friends make fun of me because of how this makes me irrationally mad. As others have said, I just don't respond unless they provide more info.
I used to have a coworker who would call my cell (so I could see who it was) and here is how the conversation would go:
Me: Hi, Todd.
Him: Approvedbyinspector5?
Me: Yes, Todd.
Him: This is Todd.
Me: Yes, I fucking know! I answered the phone with Hi, Todd. What do you want!
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u/Neroden 18d ago
Hah, I used to have an IT Director that would ask this all the time... That one time I couldn't help myself.... Lol
Him: Hey! Are you available? Me: Nope, sorry I'm taken! Him: Wh...What!? Me: Yea... Sorry, I'm already taken... Him: Oook... Nervous laugh We need to meet about issue X in 30 minutes....
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u/ascii122 18d ago
I was doing remote support for a small biz website back in the day .. and the owner would send and email with the subject: Question
And then ask like a one liner in the body.. i'm like lady just put the question in the subject if it's under 200 chars FFS. Drive me nuts
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u/BasicMan30xx 14d ago
I had a coworker who called on the phone say Hey, I have a question for you, I wasn't available, so it went to voicemail. The next step is waiting 2 minutes then send email telling me that they left me a voicemail because they have a question. Still not available because I am working on a high-priority project. Then maybe 2 minutes after that walks from the other end of the building and knocks on my door, says did you get my voicemail, email about my question. Yes, but what is the question?
I am not in my office all the time so I look at him and say, to him if you send me an email with the question, I can reply from my phone if I am not in the office.
Best part is the question “Can you disable the “Windows Key” I hit all the time when I am typing. This is person is a senior IT staff, I was 2 levels below him in the structure.
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u/Any-Fly5966 18d ago
Hi.