r/theirdrinking • u/AAS18VN • 2d ago

Relationship

I am new here, my first post. I don't know who to talk to about this. I live with my boyfriend who is a high functioning alcoholic. I am the primary breadwinner. When my boyfriend gets super drunk he tells me he doesn't need me, that I need to take my shit and get out... I've heard it all and I have been called every bad name. This happens at the most approx once a month, at the minimum approx once every three months.

This scars my heart and hurts me so bad. I don't know what to do. He just acts like it never happened and expects me to just get over it/put it in the past. To heal and get closure of what was said I would like to have a conversation but we don't. He definitely remembers what was said to me, especially when it is in text message form.

I don't know what to do. I feel like every time he does this I love him a little less and my heart gets a little colder.

I have never been to an Al-Anon meeting. I work 40 hours a week and my one way commute is 1 hour 45 minutes. When I am home I cook, clean and take care of the animals (chickens, turkeys, goats). I just don't feel like I can fit meetings into my already full schedule. Any suggestions or advice about any of this would be greatly appreciated.

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u/malalala523 2d ago

Sorry if this is too blunt but if you’re not legally tied to this man by marriage then do the easy thing and ditch him. Doing the “hard work” is for people who have actual investments together that require legal obligation and a lot of heartache like shared children. You’re already a step ahead of many by being the primary income. Be free and live your life. Find someone better.