I don't even know where to start. I'm 26. I am a medical school graduate. I should feel like an adult with a future, and instead I wake up every single day in my bedroom, look at my parents' faces, and want to scream. I know what they are. I've known for a while now. Knowing doesn't make it easier — if anything it's worse, because I see every move they make now and I still can't do a damn thing about it because I need their money and roof to survive exam prep.
And lately it's gotten so much worse (I have my suspicions for more than 2 years). The second I show any sign of breaking from the script they've written for me, something happens.
A while back, I had a fight with my mom, told her I was done, I wasn't studying anymore, I was OUT. That same night — an ex-friend (I knew her since school, my family keeps tabs on me and who I talk to) I blocked two years ago randomly sends me a LinkedIn request. We've had active profiles this whole time and she never once reached out. Coincidence? Maybe.
Random calls that aren't spam. Comments showing up on a Reddit post from six months ago, out of nowhere. They occur more frequently whenever I post my narcissistic abuse experience and something negative about my nfather or when I am consistent with my preparation.
I paid for an online course with my own money and within days my mom and brother cornered me in my room basically threatening me — saying if I "ran away" without paying it off the police would come after THEM, like I'm some kind of flight risk they need to preempt. They didn't even know what the charge was for. Just that money moved. My dad does our taxes, so he saw it, and apparently that's enough for a whole inquisition.
I have both my SIMs still under my parents' names because I can't get new ones right now. I've changed my passwords a dozen times, new emails, VPN for anything I don't want them near, even factory reset my phone once. And it still feels like it doesn't matter. Like the second I stop being predictable, the net tightens.
I don't even know anymore if I'm actually being tracked with something technical or if it's just that I live in a house where everyone reports everything to everyone and I've just never been allowed enough privacy to notice how bad it is until now.
If anyone's been through this — how did you actually figure out what was real tracking vs. just narc family surveillance? And when you got out, how did you make sure they couldn't find you again? I need to know if this is survivable.