aggressive brother while driving

[u/These_Job1557]

i just got my drivers license 3 weeks ago. my dad mostly works and my older brother is my guide while i gain more confidence on the road.

to start off, we never had a good history to begin with. he was super hostile with me when i was younger and yelled a lot.

so, i was already cautious having him in the passenger seat to guide me. lately he has been calmer but still yells a lot. sometimes before bed i hear him yelling at his gf saying mean stuff while playing games.

today while driving home he was ok at first but started getting hostile at minor errors or judgments he would not make. and increasingly sounded more and more hostile.

i did my best to keep my cool and didn't yell back and kept telling him not to yell. so, then i started driving worse.

i'm just so so so tired of it. i know i am not half as bad a bad driver as he says i am but how am i gonna be better if he is so hostile and yelling all the time???

he has always treated me like garbage. it's not easy to be a mentor but that's his responsibility to remain calm just as it is mine to drive safely. but how am i supposed to drive safely if he is so critical of tiny errors. who wouldn't get triggered by that??? especially as a new driver!

i've just lost so much of my confidence and i dont want him to be my guide anymore. he's freaking lucky i didn't crash the car with how hostile he was. i'm proud of myself for remaining calm especially with how triggered i was, but i js know my parents will take his side and say he is more experienced i should listen.

i just want someone on my side haha

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[u/Other-Room-840]

your brother sounds like he has zero emotional regulation and is taking it out on you because you're an easy target. the fact that you can hear him screaming at his gf through the walls at night tells you everything, this isn't about your driving at all

you kept your cool while someone was actively sabotaging your focus behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, that takes a lot of restraint. if your parents can't see how dangerous it is to have a person like that "mentoring" a new driver then they're being willfully blind

[u/These_Job1557 → u/Other-Room-840]

thank you for saying that, i have definitely built up this much patience for a very long time and it was so difficult.