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My husband and I (28F and 29M, married since June 2025) had a vague idea that we wanted to start thinking about babies next year, with the idea that we’d welcome the baby sometime in 2028. We’ve both been working to get in better physical shape (weight loss, working out, eating better) and have been saving to get in better financial shape, but it’s all been a little elusive without a specific target date.

But I think I’ve finally landed on our ideal conception window : December 2027!!

I like the idea of a September/ October 2028 baby, since they’ll be one of the oldest kids in their grade once they enter school, and that statistically leads to higher relative academic success and advantages in competitive sports. Plus our financial goals will be fully met by August/ September 2028, and I’ll be 30, which has a nice “mom age” ring to it for me personally.

For us, a December 2027 conception means:
July: IUD removal and starting prenatal vitamins and using condoms
September: stop GLPs (me) and weed (both of us, though it will be much harder for him)
October: both drinking only socially and responsibly, 2 weddings to attend and our “Last Big Trip” abroad to celebrate the start of our conception journey!
November: full on prep mode and tracking!
December 2027 /January 2028: go time!
…
September/ October 2028: (hopefully) Baby! And our emergency fund and baby fund financial goals fully met or exceeded!

Now all that’s left is to get my husband on board with this timeline 🤪

Is there anything I’m missing in my timeline— anything I need to start/ stop at a certain point leading up?

How did you decide on your timeline for conception?

I am 100% for the institution of Marriage. I also believe children and family togetherness is one of the most joyous parts of your life. However, I firmly believe when a couple marries, they should postpone having children at least for 2-5 years. Much of the time frame of postponing children can depend upon the age of the couple at marriage. Meaning, if a couple marries in their twenties they have more time to postpone children. If a couple marries in their early thirties that is still young. However, they don't want to wait too long to start a family due to the Biological time clock of the female.

If a couple gets married and the husband is 25 and the wife is about the same age, then starting a family at age 29-30 would be ideal. I believe a husband and wife needs time together following marriage.

The time a couple shares every day of their married life helps the couple grow and helps strengthen the "Marital Bond". If you have a baby too soon it can be detrimental on the entire marriage. I have heard so many times over the years, a person say "only if I knew my husband and or wife better? Usually these remarks are made when a couple separates and a Divorce is in the works.

The married couple must share each day together. The must communicate about everything, share meals together, watch TV together as well as take trips and spend real quality time together. Having a baby too soon will interfere with all I mentioned here and the end result can be Detrimental.

This is why so many couples that married due to pregnancy don't stay married. Marriage due to pregnancy places so much pressure on the couple as well as the entire marriage. Essentially, the marriage is being forced upon the couple which never yields a positive result. Anything we do under "Duress" is never good. A husband and wife can never really get to know one another inside and out with a crying infant to take care every day.

Which get me to my next issue. I am 100% for Birth control and Family planning. Family planning is critical for a successful marriage. A couple needs to have an active sex life once married without the fear of pregnancy. Oral Contraception is so very safe in this day and age.

Actually over the past 6 decades, the oral birth control pill has become even safer. Research shows that with each decade that passes the pharmaceutical industry has reduced the amount of estrogens contained in birth control pills making them even safer and highly effective.

I do believe the oral contraceptive pills of the 1960's were more dangerous due to a very high concentration of estrogens which lead to stroke, heart attack and blood clots. High doses of artificial estrogens can in some cases cause diminished stimulation and diminished orgasm. The contraceptives of today have a much lower dose of estrogen and progesterone and side effects are minimal.

Also, it is nice to know that a child was planned and that they were not a "Surprise" package or "unwanted". I doubt the Catholic Church will ever understand this nor change their position on Birth Control.

Most couples today have "Careers". Which is great. A newly married couple can work during the day , start saving money and spend every evening together after the work day concludes. It is important that the couple make plans every week and even if something as simple as grocery shopping needs to be done then do it together.

Before the children come, this is the time to have a fulfilling sex life on your terms. When the children come, your entire intimate life changes. It can be more difficult to make love on a regular basis with infants that require undivided attention.

Couples are having smaller families compared to the 1960's and 1970's. I believe having fewer children is beneficial to not only the parents but to the children. I don't see how parents can give equal attention to four or five children at the same time. Studies show that children that come from a home with just one sibling tend to perform better academically and they seem to be a bit more grounded compared to a family that may have three or four children.

Hi everyone,
I am 25 years old. During a routine preconception checkup, my scan showed an AFC of 12 (5 on one ovary, 7 on the other), but my follow-up bloodwork came back with an AMH of 0.58 ng/mL.
Our original plan was to start trying to conceive (TTC) right after our wedding, which is in 9 months. However, after seeing the low AMH result, my doctor urged us not to wait that long. The proposed plan is:
Start a fertility supplement regimen in 3 months.

Start trying naturally in 6 months at the latest (after taking the supplements).

If we do not conceive after 6 months of trying naturally, move straight to IVF so we don't lose precious time.

We want a baby very much, and I am terrified of missing our chance. At the same time, I am struggling to understand if a 3-month difference (starting supplements in 3 months and TTC in 6 months vs. waiting 9 months until right after our wedding) truly makes a critical biological impact or if this level of urgency is an overreaction.
I would love to hear from anyone who has navigated this:
For those with low AMH under 30, did waiting an extra 2–3 months actually make a measurable difference in your numbers or outcomes?

Has anyone had success conceiving naturally with a low AMH/decent AFC combo at a younger age?

Thank you so much for any advice or shared experiences!

1 year out from our IUD removal and ttc timeline and it’s suddenly become so tough. Several of my friends and influencers my age that I follow have just had their babies or announced pregnancy and I am starting to feel anxious to get started. We have several high adventure trips planned (Costa Rica, skiing etc) and we’re also saving up to cover the salary deficit from leave at work so I know that moving up the timeline is completely unfeasible. Just venting … I am such a planner and want to start researching baby items but it just makes me sad that I have to sit around and wait even though we have all these exciting things going on.

My partner (F30) and I (M33) are starting to inform ourselves about what we should do before trying for a baby.

We generally live a healthy lifestyle, but this summer has been unusually eventful with weddings and other celebrations, and alcohol has definitely been involved. Not daily drinking, but several occasions/weekends with quite a bit of social drinking. We're completely aware that during pregnancy alcohol should be avoided, and that the safest approach once actively trying / during the TWW is for her not to drink.

There seem to be studies linking paternal preconception drinking with sperm quality, DNA/epigenetic changes and possibly congenital heart defects, but I'm having trouble understanding how strong the evidence actually is. So I'm wondering what the practical recommendation is.

If you've had a summer with several heavier drinking occasions, would you stop drinking now and wait one complete sperm cycle (~3 months) before trying? Or is that considered unnecessary, provided you stop/reduce heavily from this point onward?
And for women, is there actually any evidence supporting a similar 2–3 month alcohol-free period before conception, or is that mostly being extrapolated from the recommendations for men?
I'd particularly be interested in what people have been told by fertility specialists, OB/GYNs or doctors rather than just general "alcohol is bad" advice.

Your ANTI-MULLERIAN
HORMONE (AMH), FEMALE
Result
4.17
0.69
ANTI-MULLERIAN HORMONE (AMH), FEMALE
Current Result
Desired Range
13.39
NORMAL
4.17 ng/mL
0.69-13.39 ng/mL

I’m concerned at why my AMH is on the lower side as desired goes up to 13.39 before it reaches “red”
Google says 4.17 is good, but then why does it go up to 13??? I want to ensure I should not be above 5. If anyone is able to help me out with this I would greatly appreciate it

I just got my Paraguard in and I’ve gotten very anxious about when I will have children. I don’t even have a boyfriend. And my mom hit menopause at 45 my grandma at 40. I also vaped for about 6 years. I just quit and have switched to nicotine pouches for the time being (still bad I know but at least not the horrible stuff in vapes) and I will quit pouches asap. I just want to be able to have children. It’s my dream.

(TW: mention of miscarriage, not my own)

Good day everyone! I’m all over the place with thoughts and feelings. I’m not a writer so this could be jumbled and blabby. But thanks in advanced for reading!

My husband and I have been together since 2015, married since 2023. We’ve talked about having kids after we moved out of his mom’s duplex and into something of our own. This happened end of 2025, we bought my brother’s house which is a huge fixer upper. So plans of starting a family were not immediate because of how much work we would be doing and no known timeline of when the work would be done “enough” to not have to worry about bringing a family into a construction project. Idk if that is pertinent info or not, I think I just want to talk! Anywho, we’re getting close to being done enough to consider it now since we think we’d be done before the end of the year. We have not had any more concrete conversations about it but recently (as in within the last two months) three of his sisters have announced that they are pregnant (one unfortunately lost the baby early on.) and now I’ve noticed our method of BC has not been noticeable… I’m not sure if he wants me to say anything but I act dumb and “clean up” anyway. Again, I’m sorry how all over the place this is I just wish I could talk to my friend or sisters or even my mom(since she’s been wanting us to try for years now) but I don’t want to get them excited if nothing comes of it ya know? I don’t know if I’m looking for advice on anything but I’m really just wanting to blurt this all out. If you do have ANY advice for me I’ll happily accept! thanks for reading!

My partner and I are getting ready to start trying in about 6 months, and I'm starting to dive into preconception prep. I tend to lean pretty holistic and health-conscious, and I eat a mostly plant-based diet.

I’d love to hear from anyone else here who takes a more holistic approach to preconception! What did your routine look like at the 6-month mark? Are there specific herbs, whole-food nutrition shifts, cycle-tracking methods, or lifestyle adjustments that you found helpful?

(Of course, I'll be running everything by my doctor, but I love gathering ideas and hearing what worked for others who share a similar wellness mindset!)

Thanks so much!

Let me preface by saying I’m SO HAPPY for all my friends who have babies. Only a few of my friends have babies at this point of life.

I’m 27 years old and married, living in a small apartment. I am very happy in my marriage and life. My husband and I both work full time. We have been married for 2 years. We are working hard to save money.

I have baby fever and would love to have a baby but in my heart I know we aren’t ready. I love enjoying time with just my husband in our marriage, and we have financial goals we want to reach.

Even though I know we aren’t ready, I can’t help but feel such envy toward my friends and people I know who are announcing pregnancies and having babies. Does anyone else feel this way? It makes me feel ashamed that I feel this way! I want to just be happy for people but I also feel envious and wish it was me.

I want to preface this by saying that I am definitely the planner and overthinker. This is not uncommon for women in heterosexual relationships.

However, I am very keen to let go of the reins, surrender control and empower my husband to own the process of extending our family, more.

That said, I feel like there are so little resources for men to understand human anatomy, pregnancy, childbirth. Seems to me that all this knowledge is expected of women. Fathering children seems hugely based on the short lived act of sexual intercourse, but intellectually men seem very underdeveloped in this subject.

He is 40+ and the other day he asked me what a midwife is...? At one point, I bought some male fertility supplements that had great reviews, just to start introducing the idea...(I also got some for me) and he "jokingly" asked me if I thought he was infertile...?

Seems like his understanding of fertility is very black and white. Also, while he understands why females need to change their lifestyle behaviours to optimise pregnancy health, he doesn't seem to make a dotted line between some of his habits (e.g., cannabis use, hot baths/showers) and spermatogenesis...

I don't hold any of this against him: we're from different generations, and even men my age seem clueless. But I feel like there is an ocean between his fluency and mine, and I'm a bit apprehensive about how it'll feel once we're in the deep end!

What kind of resources, specifically tailored to men (and their lack of understanding), exist? Are there any podcast you'd recommend?

I'm not looking for "dad joke" type content. More like science-based content, and things that will help him become a competent advocate for me during my most vulnerable moments of pregnancy and post-partum.

Looking forward to your suggestions!

I feel like this sub is filled with very cool and understanding people so I’m just going to ask. I know this isn’t even close to the same thing but it’s really the only comparison I can make at this juncture of my life. For those of you who have pets, how exponentially more intense/different is caring for a baby?

I’m 34 (h is 33) and have always had an absolute litany of pets in my life, currently 3 middle aged dogs, a cat, and chickens. I’ve raised two puppies into adulthood and have had my own dog (and also cats) to take care of since I was 20 years old. I’ve always had to make plans thinking about them, have to pack up supplies for them for a trip, and have had too much experience getting them medical care throughout the years (had a doggy with some chronic conditions for a long time).

For those who have had a similar experience, how would you compare the change to your lifestyle? I’m going to be trying in the near future so looking for some comparable perspective. Also for reference, I have a background in social services/child development so am familiar with the actual tasks that need done while parenting. I’m just curious for those who are accustomed to having a little more responsibility than their peers in this way, what was the change like from point A to B?

Edit:

Thanks for the response all, and keep it coming. I only got a couple “it’s not even a comparison, you sound dumb to even ask” type of responses lol. To clarify: I’m speaking more to the baby phase as I know once toddler age hits it’s absolutely different: animals get easier and kiddos get tougher once mobile.

I think an important distinction for me is that I have quite a few pets that require care every day. In my experience, cats are pretty casual and can even stay alone for a couple days if needed, and one well behaved dog is pretty straightforward to manage. I have had to juggle lots of medical appts, unsolvable health issues, behavioral issues, relationship dynamics between them, logistical problems, planning considerations, “babysitting” cancellations, medication management, anxiety/worry for their health and wellbeing, etc., and have done this for many years. I’ve had more of the responsibility and concern about another being’s health/wellbeing in a way that not many of my friends have had. So that’s why I’m hoping to hear from people who have had similar experiences: for my friends who are parenting (which are not many right now) they haven’t had the same level of responsibility before having a baby themselves. Looking for some type of comparison for those who have done the same.

Hey everyone, I’m facing a tough dilemma and need some advice.

My partner (28F) and I (27M) have been together for nearly 10 years, starting out as high school sweethearts. For the past few years, she’s been dropping subtle hints about wanting a baby. I understand where she’s coming from, but I’m terrified about our financial situation.

I work two jobs and make a decent income, but I am the sole provider. I hand my entire paycheck over to her to manage, yet we have zero savings and live paycheck-to-paycheck. At the end of every month, we barely have enough to get by.

I refuse to bring a child into this environment without a safety net. Every time I try to explain this, she brushes it off and worries she’s getting "too old" to have kids (even though she's only 28). I love her deeply and feel guilty for not giving her what she wants, but I want us to be prepared for the lifelong expense of raising a child.

How do I get her to see the reality of our finances without making her feel hurt or dismissed? Thank you in advance to everyone who would comment, whether good or bad.

Hey guys, im 19 yrs old and just got married in April! I am wanting to start TTC in June 2027 (I’ll be 20 by then and 21 by time baby is born according to my hopeful timeline) and joined this group so I could learn more about pregnancy and see the realness of being a young mom and stuff! Anyways, I’ve got a couple of questions that I’m hoping you guys could help out with!
What are things you wish you would’ve known before getting pregnant?
Best things to do to prepare your body for pregnancy?
Good books/ways to educate myself?
How did you get over judgement? I’m so so scared of being judged for being pregnant so young but want to be a mom!! I’m also scared to tell my mom… and I’m not even pregnant yet haha! Any advice is helpful and appreciated!! Thank you!

At what age did you and your partner decide you were ready to start trying?
My partner and I are both quite young, and we both want to be young parents and have recently started talking about the “what ifs” about getting pregnant.
Was just wondering about what age others were when they finally decided to start trying/that they were ready.
TYIA!

Anyone have experience using Natural Cycles and the band to track BBT? I’d love an aura ring, but that’s out of budget, so I’m thinking of starting with the standard band that comes with the year subscription since I’m not the best at waking up and getting my manual temp at the same time every day.

My husband and I (26 m&f) are waiting to try for a baby and I thought throwing myself into a job search would help pass the time. Instead I keep getting rejected and it’s hitting me harder than I expected.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think being a mother is what I’m actually meant to do, not building a career. I think that’s part of why I’ve never felt career-motivated, and maybe even part of why the rejections keep happening. I notice I talk myself into thinking a job I get an interview for is one I’d actually love, just because I want so badly to feel motivated by something right now. My current job is unfulfilling which doesn’t help. I have a college degree, a bachelors of science in public relations. I have so much respect for women that want it all and sometimes I think it would be easier if I did but trying to balance this period of my life where my husband and I are waiting to try with questions of my career is more of a challenge than I expected. All I want is to be a mom, since I was a child I knew I wanted to have so many babies.

Realistically though, neither of us is ready for a baby yet. My husband isn’t there mentally, and if I’m honest, I’m not either as much as I want to be. We’re planning to buy a house next June, which is the earliest it would really make sense financially. On top of that, I’m in three weddings next year and my husband’s in one, so there’s a lot of travel and obligations that would make trying to get pregnant at the same time really tough.

So I’m in this strange holding pattern knowing what I want long-term, not being in a place to pursue it yet, and not sure what to do with myself career-wise in the meantime. Anyone been through something similar?

I will start by saying that both me and my husband absolutely do want a second baby (our first is over 2 now). We did agree to start trying this fall (mostly up to me, spouse agrees for whenever I feel like ready). Logistically ot would be absolutely perfect if the baby would be born summer/early fall next year. Also for financial and work related reasons we have waited until now. Otherwise I would've liked even smaller age gap.

However, my last pregnancy was really hard (talking about puking my guts out multiple times a day and losing weight during the first months). That really scares me - what if it happens again? Originally we decided to start trying in September but I'm getting cold feet. I already know that in my work October-early December is going to be super crazy so not good if I fall pregnant immediately and get severe "morning" sickness. I have also started in a new job just so kinda scared if I have to take sick leave so soon after starting.

In the end, I do want a baby as soon as possible but getting cold feet due to possible fatigue/sickness etc. Anybody else in a similar situation or getting cold feet right before starting to try? I know there's probably no right or wrong decision as we do have time for a baby because we're still under 30. But I feel like deciding is impossible and I will regret my decision anyway.

I think I’m just venting and looking for reassurance.

I feel like I’ve put my life on pause waiting to try.

I didn’t apply for grad school and my partner did and started today. I didn’t because we plan to start trying in the next year and I don’t want us both working full time and going to school because I feel like we wouldn’t be able to be present parents. I’m not leaving the job I don’t like because I need the leave to be able to take maternity leave when the time comes.

I feel like I’m putting everything on hold and I don’t even know if we can conceive because we’re not trying yet. I don’t want to become resentful because his life is still moving forward while mine is at a standstill.

I'm not certain about children at the moment but I'm sure I would like to have them someday. I have a long term partner at the moment and we have a great sex life. It's still fun and often spontaneous. And we are both enthusiastic about the prospect of starting a family together.

I guess what I'm wondering is, how much will the trying i.e. the scheduling, etc. change our dynamic? Will I still enjoy it as much as I do now, or will it lose the "spice"? How do you perform when it begins to feel purely functional?

Did anyone experience a dramatic change in their sexual chemistry, their attraction, etc. when trying to get pregnant, for worse or for better?

I'm also worried about my partner's (sexual) enthusiasm changing, so curious if anyone has had something like that happen too, where they noticed it becoming high pressure or a chore for their partner.

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.