Nah, the term is more encompassing than that. You can be somebody that's gotten laid before, but struggles to get laid since, and that is still "involuntarily celibate."
From the literal original definition, yes, but nowadays the meaning of the word has shifted (as often happens). So if you try to stubbornly stick to that meaning, expect to be misunderstood.
>I quickly loose friendships, most lasting less than 3 months
>Good chance my mom and dad love me more out of pity and/or not knowing any better
>Many times people don't even listen to what i hear
>People also look at me like if they were talking with a psych ward patient about to say the most deranged shit posible
Because of all this i naturally think i am simply too much of a hastle to simply hang around
I just read a whole bunch of your comment history, and you seem completely normal to me. I'm willing to bet you're just surrounded by boring normies, but I have a touch of the 'tism so the results might be skewed.
Anyway I have the same problems you do, only no parents and I've been married before. Idgaf; as Slartibartfast said: "hang the sense of it and keep yourself busy", which you do. #winning
I went through his comments out of curiosity and you're right, they seem mostly normal within the context of the subs he frequents.
Same for his post history, but now I'm wondering if he might be a military weeb who shoehorns his military knowledge into any and every conversation irl and that's why people find him off-putting.
I'm also wondering if maybe he's a normal dude personality wise but has physical stuff that might be off-putting, like bad hygiene, smelly feet, doesn't brush teeth, etc.
You could be right and the people around him might just be more normie so he's just not their type of person. Seems like he might be Italian and he speaks Spanish in one comment so probably a completely different culture we're used to and maybe they're naturally more normie.
Who knows, he definitely seems normal from his comments at least. My history is more unhinged than his.
Honestly, if you can afford to do so and/or it’s covered by your insurance, you should try talking to a therapist.
You obviously have very negative perceptions about yourself, and if they’re not true, or especially if they are, reaching out to someone might help with that.
Has this word always existed? I picked up the context, but I had to look it up and one of the definitions says "surprised or confused," but one of the example sentences is, "I remember students being nonplussed about the flooding in the city, as they had become accustomed to it over the years." That feels like the opposite of surprised and I'm simply nonplussed about it now.
Edit: Found a reddit thread about it and it looks like it's just an example of language evolution. Similar to "literally" and "entitled".
You seem to have some deep issues underneath that. You should look for a therapist i think. I don't think people on the internet can do any good other than some words of encouragement
Reply All had an amazing episode about the origin of the "incel" term and community. Basically started as a wholesome group created by this queer Canadian woman before being co-opted by angry assholes who hated women. Just looked it up and it's episode 120 of reply all, highly recommend it!
TLDW: By its very nature, the group was doomed from the start.
The only people leaving the group were the ones who successfully got laid; only the bitter failures were left behind, creating a feedback loop that lead to the incels we know today.
Yeah for some reason about 5 or 10 years ago people started using 'incel' to describe ONLY the subset of incels that held extreme views. Taking the worst of a group of people and painting them all with the same brush.
"Incel" is simply the guys who can never get laid, never had girlfriends, the 40yo virgin types. That quiet guy at work that keeps to himself, that shy man on the bus or that austistic guy at the gas station. The extreme vocal women-hating subset that you hear about online seems to be a minority.
Most of the 'incels' are just normalish guys down on their luck that aren't doing well in the confidence / looks / ladies departments. I knew some guys from school who never had a girlfriend until they were in their late 20s or 30s and were desparately lonely - so they were technically incels during that time. Even though they may not have identified with any such ideology they were clearly very saddened about their lack of a love life. None of them held misogonistic views or hated women.
if only humans actually believed that they'd all be living much happier lives. Unfortunately humans desperately and instinctively seek the love/adoration/admiration of the people around them, it's basically hard wired into the species because a solitary human is a dead human.
Luckily with survival of the fittest no longer applying to humans that has been slowly changing and perhaps one day humans will no longer obsessively follow the herd.
The other side of things is being attractive with a weird personality, pussy is great and all but I can care less if it leaves me feeling empty because I’m not dateable
So I took a page out of my ugly years, every girl that’s nice is just a friend unless I genuinely feel something, otherwise I’m not attracted and I’ll double down on us being good friends.
The response, and it hasn’t been said out of direct insult yet, is just to assume I’m gay… I’m honestly feeling like we’re in this weird era where everything known should be seen and if not then assumptions are made. People who are “unattractive” not even being given a chance even if they’re what they’re looking for simply because the large amount of eyes present of a select number of us pushes those to pursue people they’d be proud to have people see, like the many other couples they see on their feeds.
So honestly, it isn’t most of our fault we can’t find relationships, I mean it partially is, but it’ll take more than even the people on Reddit going out and talking to people to change the mess we’ve got going on in the dating scene. Unfortunately the ones that’ll more easily find love in this chaos if it continues are currently children. The rest of us are stomped and facing toxicity.
I feel you, bro
I'm just here playing games and paying my bills instead of propagating hatred towards women and yet feel so hurt when people call me pussy repellent or other shit because I don't leave my bedroom in my free time. I'm just socially inept or some bullshit,
Peace.
Would I like to have an SO? Sure, of course. I've had a few in the past, it was great until it wasn't.
Am I also fairly unattractive, weary of rejection, and in my 40s, so dating is a massive time and resource-sink I have to psych myself up for? Also true.
Do I blame women for this? Not at all. I have too many girl friends to not think of them as just people with different priorities.
At this point it is very much me being unwilling to spend the time and effort on dating (or even leaving my house much) over any other factor.
Lonely, sure. But I've adjusted and am fairly comfortable all things considered.
Inceldom is a mindset. I’ve never had sex with anyone and that’s okay. Main reason is because I’ve been disinterested in dating for most of my life because I feel too irresponsible for a relationship. I still consider myself a feminist
Semi off topic, but I’ve always hated how people will try and tell you positive words or how there’s still hope for you, when the reality is that there’s a good chance you truly won’t ever be loved that way. It saddens me but in reality there’s nothing I can do about it, so i started focusing on things that actually matter and thought less about romance and my life got so much better. I would be lying if I said I still didn’t desire it, but you can’t get everything in life
That sounds more like an “I don’t have a lot of friends” problem than an “I can’t get laid problem”. Though I suppose if someone has the former they probably have the latter as well. The former is much easier to remedy though
It doesn't help that emotional support for blokes is discouraged amongst friends. It can put strain on existing relationships when a romantic partner becomes the sole source of emotional support.
My experience has been that guys love giving emotional support, it just has to be in a ”masculine” context. AKA over a beer in the pub or a cigar on the porch.
People want physical intimacy. I don't know why the internet (reddit) arrived at this conclusion that having friends will somehow fulfill that desire but it just doesn't do it for the vast majority of people. It's their responsibility to handle the lack of fulfillment in a healthy way but let's be honest here
People confusing incel and misogynist (most people) like they're synonyms, sadly shields actual misogynists that aren't incels and extra shuns people who simply haven't had a chance.
it's so weird to me when people think that getting some pussy is the only reason to live , you have been given freedom to do anything and you choose that? i mean i understand when you're depressed and your view of life gets extremely narrowed to the point that you see no reason to live other than to try and chase that something because not chasing that something will lead you to killing yourself but when you're fine and you STILL decide that getting some pussy is the only way to live geniunely baffles me
I only speak for myself but it sucks not having anyone to share things with. Life events and accomplishments feel empty without someone to share them with. I have friends it’s not the same. It’s not only about sex. It’s more about a lack of deeper companionship.
I'll be honest, at first I was enamored with the idea of a girlfriend for sex and stuff... But then I realized, I just want someone share the lows and the highs but in a different way than how I share these with my friends and family... And I'd like to have sex and cuddle and stuff too. The urge/ desire for this stuff was made worse when reading Chainsaw Man since Denji wanted the same things I wanted (even if he went about getting them in a very self-destructive manner).
I realize I'm starting to go on a tangent so I'll stop yapping lol
That’s generally how I feel as well. The sex is more of a bonus to having someone to experience things with but that is honestly what I really feel I’m missing.
I feel that. I have to hunch my back so that I can rest my head on it and curl my legs into my body so that they can feel contact with it. If get a body pillow I'd it wasn't for the assumptions around them
Saying it's about pussy kind of degrades what a relationship is actually about. Sex isn't everything. Emotional intimacy, support and companionship are important
Can't speak for everyone but a big part of it for me is FOMO. Like seeing many people younger than you on a roller coaster but you're stuck behind the sign that says "must have X amount of social skills to ride"
Well, it is like the second most powerful biological instinct we have, following the instinct to survive. Once the first instinct is taken care of, it makes sense that the average human would wanna fulfill the second instinct.
I’m not actively looking and I’m not turning down anyone who gives me attention. There’s more to life than sex and you just gotta live yours life till find someone who sees you for you. Because all the sex in the world won’t fix the problems you’ll have if you gotta deal with a crazy fucking ex and/or baby mama drama.
A childhood of bullying, neglect, and being ostracized by people I called friends and family have left me with a lot of baggage. Made fun of for having crushes on girls in my class and rejected at every point I ever tried to step out of my comfort zone. I don't see the point anymore.
Of course, it's my fault, I was never likable to begin with. Not the women's fault. I don't deserve anyone's attention, therapy didn't help change my mind on this.
I have some friends, but romantic relationships? Never gonna happen unfortunately.
I know I'm not attractive, and I'm fine with it. If women don't like me, oh well. It takes effort to improve myself and all my willpower is being used to stay afloat. It ain't their fault, it's mine and I will 100% own it
I feel as if I don’t deserve a girlfriend because I’m just not responsible enough or would even know how to keep her happy so therefore I’d feel selfish to look for one
Its not the ladies fault I'm built too different. While they love food and travelling, I'm perfectly content staying home and eating home made cheese omelettes and salads.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 07 '26
Download Video
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.