I had an old guy tell me that women are naturally made to be pretty, while men are made to be "virile", and I knew he believed it in the most genuine way possible.
For him, a man seeking to be pretty was against nature, as much as a woman trying to look "virile" (as in strong, tough, independent...).
On one hand, I was flabbergasted, on the other, I thank that man and his honesty for opening my eyes to how a lot of mf thinks nowadays
It's not deeper than that, they just strongly believe in XIXth century gender roles
It's not deeper than that, they just strongly believe in XIXth century gender roles
And only the "good" ones to be clear. Their wife has to take care of the entire household and practically raise the kids alone but she also still needs to work (but earn less than him as to not make him insecure)
Yeah sometimes i feel betrayed by modern "gender roles" because now on top pf having to work and be independant women are still picking up the slack and doing all the female genderole shit. Meanwhile men nowadays dont do any of the female genderole things but noe ALSO refuse to do their male genderrole shit.
It just feels like women have to be everything while men can just be forever childeren not taking any responsibility for anything.
And yes reddit i AM generalizing because its my feelings not absolite fact. Just getting that out there before i get accused of something.
Relatable, but the opposite.
Had to convince my sister to NOT get breast implants. Can't be exercising as easily and she already has a bad back, no need to add on more issues to that.
To be fair, there is a type of breast enhancement that don’t require an implant, fat transfers.
My original comment wasn’t to keep anyone from doing what they want to their bodies, I swear! Just that people should do much more research than they do on average, before getting any elective surgery or implant. Because the plastic surgery industry, in general, will not be forthright with them about the negative possibilities
Constant back pain is fucking awful. And the weight tends to affect your posture, which amplifies the back pain in a terrible cycle.
Then you have the potential for more skin on skin contact which can cause rashes. Plus there’s more trapped heat and sweat which is awful.
and wearing a bra can eventually create a literal divot on your shoulders from the weight
And forget about simple clothes shopping because your chest and the rest of your torso are likely different sizes. So either the top is too tight or the bottom is super baggy and loose. And for some fucking reason our society doesn’t even measure breasts properly, and usually only considers A to DD sizes, which is like at best HALF of the range they should have.
edit: someone also pointed out that good bras are stupid expensive. Some moderately good ones i’ve gotten are easily $70+ and that’s the low end.
And of course exercising can literally be painful because of it. But don’t worry /s, you can wear a sports bra to contain all of it… but don’t wear it too long because it can hurt your back or worst case literally damage your ribs.
and don’t get me started about sleeping. On your side? The weight is pulling on you and it hurts. On your stomach? It’s uncomfortable or painful to lay on them. On your back? You feel like you’re suffocating from the extra weight pushing down on you. Better have some good luck figuring that out that every night
oh and you finally want to get rid of them? It’s hella expensive and unless it’s deemed as “strictly medically necessary” you may not get insurance to help you cover it. And now you may have to fight literal doctors asking if you talked to your husband about it and if he’s okay with it. Or maybe you’re single and they want you to wait until you get a future boyfriend to ask him. Because apparently in this day and age there’s still a part of us that belongs to our husbands.
Or you go through the entire consult and procedure on the same page with the doc, but then wake up to realize they didn’t take nearly as much as you wanted because they personally wanted you to just have more.
and of course assuming the procedure goes well, it’s a rough recovery that requires a lot of patience and potentially help. I know some doctors don’t even let you do the procedure if you don’t have a designated “helper/caretaker” to aid you during recovery. Which sucks if you’re single and live alone.
I’m tired 😭
edit: oh my how could I forget about sensory issues. I’m neurodivergent and my chest makes me feel so uncomfortable some times that it makes me feel nauseous or like i want to tear at my skin. Genuinely.
Also not applicable to me, but my heart goes out to any folks where having a large chest uncomfortably contrasts their gender and worsens their gender dysphoria. That’s probably one of the worst symptoms out of these
OH and let’s not forget about the sexualization. People will constantly perceive you and your outfits as sexual, even if it wouldn’t be considered such on someone with a smaller chest. I’m glad my dms are off because usually any mention of chests sends weirdos flocking to the dms asking for pics. You get a lot of weird comments, advances, random touches or staring, and a lot of creeps see you as a pair of tits first and a human second. And even with folks who aren’t creepy, unfortunately since it’s a prominent feature it’s what usually stands out first when people see you.
About that terribly inconsistent sizing problem when clothes shopping…
I personally went to get measured at some fancy bra store back in highschool. The employee asked what I thought I was. I told her a “D”. She literally laughed at me.
She then measured me and came out of it saying I should wear a D.
But the kicker is that her measuring was shit because I’m actually like 5-6 cup sizes larger.
(people honestly just see “big” and think “oh sure that’s a D.” or god forbid a massive DD! /s )
Most stores don’t even have my size, and I’m far from the largest out there.
Just to put it out there for reference, the average bra size in the U.S. is a 34DD, a 5 inch difference between bust and underbust. While that’s certainly big, it’s not the massive size that many people think. Most people have zero idea how the system actually works, and honestly that’s probably a big part of why stores and manufacturers don’t sell enough sizes.
And to the original commenter, I’d suggest checking out places like Bravissimo, they have a good selection, and market specifically towards the larger size range (from D-cup to a UK L-cup, which is a US Q, and band 28-40); though I will say that their bras are likely gonna be pretty expensive, the ones that go up to the really high end of their size range are probably going to be 80+ dollars, though they do have a fair few in the 50-60 range. And like the other commenter suggested, ABraThatFits may be able to offer specific suggestions for bras that fit your chest specifically.
Edit; saw the reply to the other comment that suggested ABraThatFits, definitely ignore mine if you’ve already got it figured out, but I’ll leave it up for anyone else reading who might benefit.
AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS RAAHHHHH I was lucky enough to be approved for my breast reduction to be covered by insurance (although apparently they’re still stiffing the hospital like 4k for some reason??)
But man it was absolutely life changing. I went from having mental breakdowns over how horrible having huge boobs was to living in somewhat comfort! My spine and shoulders are perma-fucked after years of being a J-cup, but the pain is so much more bearable when there’s no current stresser making the issues worse.
On top of the expensive bras, it’s hard to find ones that don’t separate them and make them look pointy!! That was a big issue I had! Idk why companies like making big bras wide and pointy, but it was a huge sensory issue for me. I hated looking down and seeing Madonna style come titties. I ended up finding Torrid has those wire free dream bras that I really like and still wear, although I went from the largest size to the smallest size after my reduction lol
this is so true like... many people feel entitled to a woman's body. i've mostly only seen men act like it's some godforsaken act, but there's definitely very envious/jealous women who want what the other lady is "throwing away" ... insane . if i want something off of my body that doesn't have a functional purpose i'm taking it out
Yep same. I got a reduction last September and know how much better it is on the smaller side. When I see girlies with boobs as big as mine once were, I just get really sad for them :( it’s such an uncomfortable life to live
I look at this the same way I react to big body builders like Dave Bautista (goat) cutting down on muscles to live healthier: Grieve in silence for what was lost but recognize it was the correct outcome.
I remember hearing about this for the first time about this being a thing. I wasn't enraged like this but was thoroughly perplexed and disheartened. Then it was explained to me, and for the first time I actually thought about how weird it would be to go around with big chunks of meatflesh constantly hanging from your chest.
many people don't realize that boobs over DD can be a huge nuissance and bring a platter of problems.
like for example, people with macromastia, the medical condition that cuases breast to be unaturally large to the point where they cuase said discomfort or health issues.
and also its their body, like, at the end of the day words about someone's body are just, insult, criticism, or advice, not the final say.
When I had big boobs (I’m talking J cup yall I was drowning) I was constantly having mental breakdowns because I felt like I was trapped and completely submerged in an uncomfortable body that didn’t let me breathe correctly, sleep comfortably, run, fit into most women’s clothes, caused a back hump and slipped spinal disc, and also led me to being sexually harassed and gawked at.
Like my god it’s a horrible existence
“Don’t reduce your giant bobs internet stranger, how else am I gonna gawk at you :(“ actually pisses me off so much everytime I see it. You want to subject a compete stranger to a lifetime of uncomfortable and painful conditions because you want to be a pervert?
Anyways, my reduction was the best decision I’ve ever made. I am so much more comfortable and I sleep way better and I no longer suffocate when I’m on my back. Go for it if you’ve ever thought about it, it’s legit such a wonderful surgery.
I've been to some questionable comment sections but I've never seen people getting angry about it. Men have only been regretful about it in my experience saying "what a shame" and the like. I've seen more people talking derogatorily about scarlett johansson being a Jew than about her breast reduction
Yeah but even "what a shame" is so dumb. If you get to the point of reduction, they were obviously hindering your life. They care more about big boobs (and I love boobs) than comfort. I know it's jokes, but it's still dumb.
I saw a woman talking about how she was going to get one for her disproportionate boobs and the pain they were causing her and there was comment after comment after comment of men saying "nooo!!!! Dont!" Or "you'll regret it" or "big boobs are better though" or "this is what feminism does to women"
As a man, I relate to this, because I wish I was a big breasted woman and can't physically understand the implications and downsides of having big boobs (I don't have them).
You want them to get breast reductions to save their backs.
I want them to get breast reductions because I like flat chested women.
We are not the same. 👔
I honestly love big boobs and want them myself when I transition, but I still am reminded that many women genuinely experience a lot of pain from them and feel guilty and reconsider.
You don't need to feel guilty, but I would reconsider just because while they can look cool, it's still just a bunch of weight on your chest at the end of the day and you're gonna have to be lugging it around.
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