r/Adoption • u/AdventurousLie1692 • 1d ago
Help
I'm a 28 year old male born and lived in VA my whole life. I was adopted by an amazing couple at birth (it was already arranged). My mother recently told me about va changing a law that previously required a court order to get original birth certificate. I have a always been curious about my biological parents and decided to apply for a copy of my original birth certificate, well I got it today and am kinda confused. On the birth certificate where it says mother's full maiden name it says alpha omega ***** (the ***being an actual name. I don't understand...there's no way her name was "alpha omega *****" so????the only other useful piece of info on here is her address at the time of my birth.. please help
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u/vagrantprodigy07 Adoptee 1d ago
Try Search Squad on Facebook. They should be able to cross reference the last name and address, and give you an idea of what is going on. If that doesn't work, a commercial DNA test like Ancestry or 23&Me should give you some clarity.
Original birth certificates are odd. Mine doesn't have a name for me, just first name Baby, Last name Boy.
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u/Formerlymoody Closed domestic (US) infant adoptee in reunion 11h ago
Searchangels.org is an alternative that’s not linked to social media.
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u/AdventurousLie1692 1d ago
I looked it up but I'd have to post from my Facebook and I'd like to keep this private any other similar suggestions?
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u/vagrantprodigy07 Adoptee 1d ago
It's a private group. Only other people in the group can see your post.
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u/mshmama 1d ago
A private group of 136,000 people- which may be a larger audience than OP is wanting to share this information with.
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u/vagrantprodigy07 Adoptee 1d ago
A private group means that your friends can't see your posts. I don't have an alternative group to recommend.
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u/libananahammock 1d ago
Okay so he either takes the FREE help in a private group from very talented people who spend hours upon hours using their expertise to help a complete stranger or you decide you think the group has too many people in it so it’s not private enough for you and you decline to take them up on their generous offer.
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u/cheese--bread UK adoptee 20h ago
I made a new Facebook account purely to use Search Squad. They found my mother within days.
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u/uberchelle_CA 1d ago
It is quite possible that is her name. I went to elementary school with a girl named Alpha. Think she had a brother named Beta, too!
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u/ShesGotSauce 18h ago
I know a birth mom who was on a reality show about adoption and her other child is named Alpha.
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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private domestic open transracial adoption 11h ago
Perri's mom? From Adoption Stories in the early 2000s, yes? I often wonder what happened in that case, but I can't remember the mom's name.
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u/always-so-exhausted 10h ago
Oh dear. I hope the brother graduated high school before all the manosphere beta stuff.
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u/AdventurousLie1692 1d ago
When my mom was telling me about the new law we ended up talking about It all for a while and she said when you're put up for adoption your birth parents can indicate whether they want to be contacted and for what reasons they would be okay being contacted for. My mom told me my birth mother put down she would be okay with me contacting her for medical reasons...she even dropped a bomb on me and told me that she actually kept in contact with my birth mother for about the first 4-5 years of my life and even sent pictures and updates about me. Idk if this communication was directly with my birth mother or through some third party. I guess I could really just ask my mom if she knows her name..my mom told me she didn't care if I wanted to find my birth parents and that she wouldn't feel any type of way but idk it feels like...a betrayal...for lack of a better word to tell her I'm looking for my birth mother...idk why. I love my mom(and dad) they are my parents and provided an amazing life for me. I'm not looking for my birth mother to have another mom, or anything like that. Idk if I'd want to meet her. I do want to SEE her though..see what she looks like, see my father, my siblings (I know I have some that weren't put up for adoption) I'm just genuinely curious. Does anyone have suggestions about how to go about finding her with the little info this birth certificate has given me?
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u/WhirlingCass 16h ago
It isn't a betrayal to want to know. Goodness knows most of us really need medical info if only to shut doctors up about not knowing.
Ask your mother. She told you about the law changing and she didn't have to do that. If she is the one who can give you the information then utilize it. It isn't a betrayal because as you stated, you aren't looking to replace her.5
u/Jaded-Willow2069 16h ago
Hey I’m an adoptive mom. Personally I feel she should have been honest from the start. That being said-
Finding your first family is never a betrayal. My kids know their first families. There’s not a competition in loving kids. Knowing where you came from is a human right, nothing less, if you want it you deserve it.
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u/Ok_Heron4768 14h ago
Be sure to be mentally and psychologically ready for this. Similar to you, I was adopted by a very loving set of parents. At 55 I was able to get the original certificate. I had done some internet research first and knew that it was possible that the circumstances for her might have been bad. Think military authority figure SA.
I reached out to possible brother of the birth mother. It was a shock to them to know about me. They did pass my info along. I got a text message of glad you had a good life, goodbye. She did end up letting her one daughter know. We did exchange info and texted for a bit but now that's gone silent.
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u/Fun-Holiday9016 15h ago
It's possible to run a search of people who lived at a specific address at a certain time and control for age and gender. A licensed private investigator in your state could help you, if you wish to protect your privacy.
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u/Englishbirdy Reunited Birthparent. 15h ago
I suggest asking for more information from your mother. Surely she addressed these letters and pictures. It's likely the correspondence was through the agency that facilitated your adoption and there's something in your file stating your birth mother is open to contact. She may even have put more in there since your birth. Otherwise many have been successful finding with Ancestry DNA.
Before you do any of this I suggest doing more research on the common feelings surrounding adoption reunion. You don't owe your birth mother a thing, but you should be aware that contacting her with no intention of an ongoing relationship of some kind could be very hurtful. You might find that seeing what she looks like may stir some intense feelings in yourself, as well as finding possible siblings. The loyalty and feelings of betrayal are common in reunited adoptees too.
I just googled Adoption Reunion Advice for Adoptees and found some good stuff.
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u/djgringa 1d ago
Odd, she may have been indigent and gave a fake name? You may have to get one of those DNA kits to find out more.
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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private domestic open transracial adoption 1d ago
People name their kids strange things sometimes, and people can also change their own names. It's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that her name really is Alpha Omega. She also could have given a false name, I suppose. Try looking up Alpha Omega Lastname and see what comes up?
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u/Primary_Savings_6838 1d ago
Sounds like the powers that be allowed the alpha and omega to throw someone off the trail if they came looking. It's so damned shitty. That just flat sucks.
Unfortunately if you want to chase this down, you are going to have to do the detective thing and perhaps genetic genealogy like ancestry. The surname and a former address is a good start. Because you can search through the property records which are public and get the other names. Then you can also search for marriage / divorce records ( again this is public info ) Depending on the county and state you also might be able to search on vehicles, liens, etc.
Sending you the best
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u/Next_Explanation_657 Clsd/Prvt/AB Adoptee 1d ago
I didn't want to find my bio family, my kid did ancestry and I was nailed. It ended up being a good thing, but yikes.
The sheer amount of information was mind boggling. Anything that had ever even crossed my mind was available to me, except medical, and if they hadn't pinged my kid I would've been home free. Good luck
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u/United-Context23 16h ago
Or maybe the hospital gave that name to mothers who were giving up their babies?
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u/Sufficient_Divide972 22h ago
wait so she put 'alpha omega' like. the beginning and the end?? thats either someone who was really going through it and gave a fake name, or someone with extremely religious parents who cursed her with that name, or like. a typo that somehow made it through the system. the address is probably your only solid lead here tbh, everything else on paper from that era is sus as hell
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u/artemessa 1d ago
I just search Ancestry.com for ‘Alpha Omega’ and put no last name, guessed at birth year 1980+/-10 and got over a dozen hits. Seems as though that was not a unique first/middle name.