I have noticed a tiny social ritual that I keep getting wrong. I am Canadian. When someone enters a doctor’s waiting room, they often say a general “Guten Tag” to everyone already seated. Most people answer quietly without looking up.

I tried doing the same and it felt strangely formal, especially in a room with fifteen people. Then last week I entered without saying anything and two people looked up as if I had skipped an expected step. Nobody was rude, but the silence suddenly felt very noticable.

Is greeting the whole room still considered normal across Germany, or does it depend on age, region, and the size of the practice? Would you also greet people in a laboratory waiting area or at a government office, or is this specific to small medical practices? I am interested in where Germans personaly draw the line, not in an official etiquette rule.

I had a slightly awkward situation recently that made me realize I don't understand the German rules for ending a visit.

A couple I know came over for dinner. We had a good evening, but around 11:30 I was exhausted and had work the next morning.

Where I'm from, you would usually start dropping hints. Clear the glasses, mention how early you have to get up, maybe yawn dramatically enough that everyone understands the performance.

I tried the German version of subtlety and said, “I have to be up at six tomorrow.”

They both said, “Oh, that’s early.”

And then opened another bottle of wine.

Eventually, around 12:30, I just said something like, “Sorry, I’m really tired, I think I need to call it a night.”

They immediately got up, thanked me for the evening and left completely normally.

Nobody seemed offended.

So now I'm wondering if I wasted an hour trying to communicate through increasingly desperate body language.

Among Germans, is it socially acceptable to simply tell guests that you're tired and want to end the evening? Or are there more polite phrases everyone is expected to recognize?

I have a very German boyfriend. We live in Canada. He is very considerate and polite, but when it comes to bread I find he has Opinions.

I have thought about getting into baking bread as a hobby. I thought I might use this as an opportunity to impress him. Also, I like fresh bread.

If you have a recipe to share I would appreciate it.

I don’t know if it’s relevant but he is from North Germany.

My wife and I live in Germany and may buy a home for ourselves in the future. I earn around €90,000 gross per year and my wife currently has no income.

We are trying to understand whether a Bausparvertrag is genuinely useful or mainly a product that salespeople push. My understanding is that you pay an upfront fee and receive very little interest during the saving phase, but in return you can secure a future loan interest rate.

We also invest in broad ETFs. If the money is not needed soon, I would expect an ETF to produce far better long term returns, although I understand that market risk becomes a problem if we need the money for a house at a fixed date.

For people who have bought property in Germany, when did a Bausparvertrag actually help you? Would it make more sense to use one only for a limited future loan amount, keep the rest of our long-term money invested, and gradually move the expected down payment into safer savings as the purchase approaches?

I would also appreciate practical explanations of how this works together with KfW financing. Can KfW, a normal bank mortgage and a Bauspar loan sensibly be combined for an owner-occupied home?

Is it normal to say hello to people you see at your big-chain gym who you see regularly because you go at the
same time? Is a simple “hello” enough? Sometimes I feel like they might think I’m being flirty because I’m Latin American and, by nature, I’m always smiling and sociable 🫠Sometimes I feel people staring at me, but I have no idea if they're waiting for me to say hi or what 🤔😅

Hello!

Next year, my friends and I plan on visiting Germany for 2-3 weeks in June to visit a friend of ours who practically lives in Berlin (He’s actually Ukrainian and goes to school in Lithuania but pretty frequently is in Berlin). My friend is very insistent upon spending alot of time in the Capital City, which I am fine with, but he also really wants us to visit Potsdam, Leipzig, and Dresden. This seems like it will be an awful amount of time spent in East Germany, which I feel odd about considering the AfD support in those regions. Meanwhile, I would like to hit up Bavaria and see some of the castles+the alps. moreover, one of my other friend’s on the trip wants to visit Hamburg.

I highly doubt it’s possible let alone convenient to visit essentially all of Germany within less than a month. Thus, I am curious as to what you guys think. Where should we visit? What places are more ‘worth it‘ than others? and are my concerns about visiting AfD supporting regions valid?

Why do Germans absolutely freak when another resident charcoal grills? Why do they insist it is illegal?

I know this probably sounds like a very foreigner question, but I am confused by Abendbrot in a practical way. I have been invited to a few casual evening meals where the table had bread, cheese, cold cuts, sliced vegetables and spreads. It looked nice, and everyone seemed satisfed.

For me, it still feels mentally like the opening act before dinner. I eat it, enjoy it, then around 22:00 my brain asks where the warm food went. I am not judging it. I actually like how simple and social it feels. I just cannot tell whether I am eating it wrong, not eating enough, or carrying expectations from home.

Do Germans generally treat Abendbrot as a complete dinner, or is it more of a light evening option depending on the houshold?

My contract says that I need to send a registered post but it doesn’t indicate what the letter should look like or what it should say. Any suggestions? It’s my first time renting and terminating rent so I am not sure how the process works.

Also, do I need to obtain some sort of documents from this landlord?

The reason for moving is that I want to move to a cheaper apartment. There have been no arguments or disagreements (at least thus far)

I know this one has been debated with some strong opinions on both sides. You have to pay for water at a restaurant which I get. This same restaurant will have a bowl of water out front for dogs and servers will gladly bring free water for dogs while charging humans for the same luxury. Should it not be on the owner of the dog to supply their water? I ask this as the debate seems to revolve around restaurants being able to pay rent and said rent money coming primarily from drinks. If a dog needs water because their owner is irresponsible, why should it be the restraunt owner's responsibility to subsidize this? It seems slightly twisted, from an outsider perspective, that because someone comes in with a thirsty dog they get free water but someone who is legitimately thirsty and asks for the same tap water will pay for it. Ps. I love your country and people. I also fully understand that every place on this planet have their own unique quarks.

I'm not sure whether my experience with Germans (or people in Germany) may be unique. I'm a student here and I also work as a student assistant at my university.

My interactions with students (including PhD students) are that they behave quite cold or don't really care for politeness unless they know me personally. But when I interact with the professors, head of departments and directors they are extremely polite towards me even though they could very much assume that I am the building's cleaner. For example, once when one of them opened a door to exit while I'm at the other side at the same time wanting to enter, they smiled at me and let me enter first. This is a very unusual treatment that I would otherwise never get, especially after considering the fact that you are supposed to let people exit first!

I would say the rudest people I meet are people in the services sector and gastronomy. At this point of course I have to acknowledge that not all of them are rude and there are definitely very friendly people in these fields, but my experience with cashiers at Lidl or DM have mostly been harsh. I've been through two humbling occassions where I took a little longer than usual to tap my card for payment because of a detection error and the cashier made me look stupid and asked something along the lines of "what are you doing?" in an annoyed tone. I can accept that their fast paced environment forces them to stress under delay, but I don't believe that that warrants such a reaction unless your pay rate is based on the amount of customers you served.

EDIT: I speak German with everyone on default and I have a German C1 :)

I am still trying to understand the small social rules around Sie and du. Last week in my ceramics course, one participant used du with the instructor while asking about glaze. A few minutes later I asked a question and copied that without thinking.

The instructor answered very kindly, but used Sie back to me. I immediately felt like I had stepped on a tiny invisible rake. I said "sorry, Sie" and then the whole sentence came out even more embarrasng.

Nothing bad happened, but now I am not sure what Germans usually expect in that moment. If someone accidentally uses du once and then switches back, is it forgotten after ten seconds, or does it sound weirdly personal? Would you prefer a quick apology, or is drawing attention to it the more awkward part?

Hello guys!

I’ve visited Germany many times over the past few years on short family trips, so I’m not completely unfamiliar with the country. But I’ve been living in Italy for the past 5 years, and I actually grew up in a very hot country with lots of sun and good weather.

Even Italian winters affect me a lot mentally because I really struggle with the cold, grey weather and lack of sunlight. So I’m honestly a little scared of a German winter. 😭

I recently got a job offer from Amazon in Germany with a decent salary, so I’m planning to move there. I’m currently choosing between Cologne and Frankfurt, but I literally don’t know anyone there.

So my biggest question is:

How do you survive German winters without getting depressed, especially when you’re living alone and don’t know many people?

What do you actually do during winter? Do you have any routines, activities, hobbies, places you go, or tricks that make winter easier?

And if you moved to Germany from a warm/sunny country, I’d especially love to hear your experience.

In my own country I would never since it would likely be read as looking for a hookup, but I and just attract creeps and trouble, or I'd be too guarded to enjoy it. However, sometimes I fancy a drink and conversation, and it sounds like a good way to practice my German.

How acceptable is it in Germany, and how might I be perceived? I'm in my early 30s and live in the outskirts of a large-ish city if it makes any difference.

Yes, I know that if the Bundeswehr recruits enough volunteers, they won't bring back conscription, but to be honest, I don't believe they'll recruit enough volunteers, no one wants to spend a year of their life sitting around in the barracks, especially young Germans.

So I got sick last week. I went to the Hausarzt on Monday and he wrote me a sick leave for the whole week, since I have a herniated disc in my spine that has been making me suffer every 6-8 months. I sent it to my eployer immediatelly, saying I am not working this week.

Now today (Friday) my boss texts me, asking if I am going to go on Monday. I text him back "I don't know yet. Momentally I feel awful still, but if it gets better until Monday morning, I am coming" which is I personally think a very reasonable answer.

Then he texts me back "I don't understand, are you coming or not? How do you don't know if you are coming on Monday? Are you gettin better?"

I text him, again "no I'm not good, and I don't know if I will be better until Monday"

Finally he calls me up and asks me "So then you are not coming. Did you get a sick leave paper for the next week?"

I say "No, because I didn't go yet, I'm telling you, there is a POSSIBILITY that I may recover until Monday, in which case I'm coming, if not, I WILL GO TO THE DOCTOR"

From then on he continued annoyingly that he has to know if I'm coming or not, to organise someone in my place. Then proceeds to remind me of my duty to always communicate in case of sickness. He basically had the aura that he thinks I am making this up, and I'm not sick.

Please someone tell me what should I do? How do people do this? How should I know if I will feel better 3 days from now? Should I just say NO and ask for a sick leave on Monday anyways?

We have a German boy coming to stay at our house just for 2 weeks as part of a high school exchange for German class (we are in the USA). I have a super silly question but am curious. Usually I put up some "fall" decorations in the house (pumpkins, leaves, etc) first and then add Halloween items at the start of October. He is leaving Oct. 1. Would he think it was fun to see Halloween decorations?? Wondering if I should put them up a couple weeks early this year. Thank you. He lives a little south of Frankfurt, if that matters.

Heya,
First of: falls dieser Post gegen Regeln verstößt, können die Mods ihn löschen. Aber ich hab in den Community Guidelines nichts diesbezüglich gefunden, also gehe ich davon aus, dass das hier okay ist

Ich bin derzeit in Australien und werde im Dezember zurück nach Deutschland kommen. Seit einigen Jahren werde ich für Depression behandelt und habe einige Antidepressiva ausprobiert (Fluoxetin, Escitalopram, Mirtazapin, Venlafaxin, Bupropion, Duloxetin). Die Nebenwirkungen waren immer unangenehm (vor allem das Schwitzen) und der Behandlungserfolg war maximal bescheiden. Seit ~April nehme ich Vortioxetin (Brintellix) und das ist bisher das beste Antidepressivum, das ich je hatte. Kein Schwitzen oder sonstige Nebenwirkungen und ich fühle definitiv einen besseren Effekt als mit den anderen Medikamenten. Deshalb will ich das auch weiterhin nehmen wenn ich Deutschland bin

Hier ist das Problem: ich habe gelesen, dass es seit 2016 nicht mehr in Deutschland verfügbar ist. Der Hersteller hat es aus dem deutschen Markt gezogen, weil es sich nicht rentiert hat. Zugelassen ist es weiterhin, aber eben nicht mehr so einfach erhältlich wie andere Antidepressiva. Anscheinend ist der Bezug über andere europäische Apotheken (oder über deutsche Apotheken, die es dann aus dem Ausland beziehen) möglich, allerdings muss man das dann selbst zahlen und über eine Kostenübernahme durch Krankenkassen wird im Einzelfall entschieden. Auch wenn ich einen Brief von meinem Arzt hier bekomme, in dem steht, dass dieses Medikament das bisher beste für mich ist, wird es wahrscheinlich schwer, das bewilligt zu bekommen (nehme ich zumindest an)

Momentan zahle ich $74 für eine Monatsschachtel und ich nehme an, dass es ähnlich in Deutschland sein wird. Hat hier jemand Erfahrungen damit, Vortioxetin in Deutschland zu beziehen? Falls ja, wie viel habt ihr gezahlt und hattet ihr Erfolg bei der Krankenkasse bzgl. Kostenübernahme?

Danke im Voraus!

I’m a Chinese university student and I may study and work in Germany in the future.
A lot of discussions about Germany from abroad focus on salaries, immigration, housing and work-life balance. But I’m curious about how Germans themselves see it.
For people in their 20s or early 30s: what would you personally consider a pretty good, normal life? A decent job, your own apartment, enough holidays, some savings?
And what parts of life in Germany do foreigners tend to idealize too much?
Just curious to hear different perspectives.
☺️🌷

Mein Vater ist Deutscher und katholisch, ich selbst wurde aber evangelisch getauft und bin in Schweden aufgewachsen. Von ihm habe ich immer gehört, dass er damals eine kirchliche Genehmigung bzw. einen Dispens einholen musste, damit ich evangelisch getauft und erzogen werden konnte, weil von ihm als Katholiken eigentlich erwartet wurde, dass sein Kind katholisch wird.

Ich habe das nie besonders hinterfragt. Mein Vater wollte bewusst, dass ich in Schweden evangelisch werde, und für mich war die Erklärung daher immer schlicht: Die katholische Kirche hat entsprechende Regeln, also musste er das eben kirchlich regeln.
Interessanterweise reagieren Katholiken in Schweden (darunter auch Deutsche) teilweise eher erstaunt darauf, dass ich überhaupt evangelisch bin, obwohl mein Vater katholisch ist. Als ich dagegen Deutsche gefragt habe, schien diese Familienkonstellation an sich überhaupt nicht ungewöhnlich zu sein.

Mein deutscher Mann fand dafür etwas ganz anderes merkwürdig: den Antrag. Sein Vater ist ebenfalls katholisch, seine Mutter war nicht christlich, und die Kinder wurden einfach evangelisch getauft. Sein Vater beantragte dafür gar nichts. Für ihn war die Vorstellung, dafür erst eine kirchliche Genehmigung einzuholen, ziemlich absurd.

Deshalb frage ich mich auch, ob der regionale und soziale Kontext eine Rolle spielte. Die Familie meines Vaters stammt aus einer ländlichen, traditionell katholischen Gegend im nordwestlichen Bayern, wobei die regionale Identität dort nicht unbedingt „bayerisch“ ist. Ich bin damit aufgewachsen, Katholizismus dort nicht nur als persönlichen Glauben, sondern auch als Teil von Familie, Ort und regionaler Identität zu verstehen. Das gilt in gewisser Weise sogar für mich: Ich bin nicht katholisch, empfinde den Katholizismus aber trotzdem als Teil meiner familiären und regionalen Herkunft.

Die Familie meines Mannes war ebenfalls katholisch, sein Vater wuchs aber in einer großen, konfessionell gemischten westdeutschen Stadt auf: Hochhäuser, Banken, riesiger Flughafen und die Familie stammte ursprünglich nicht aus dieser Region (aus einer damals deutschen, heute außerhalb Deutschlands liegenden Stadt).

Ich würde meine Familie keineswegs als religiöser bezeichnen; der Unterschied scheint mir eher darin zu liegen, wie stark Konfession mit einer bestimmten lokalen und familiären Identität verbunden war.

Daher interessieren mich eigentlich zwei Fragen: Musste ein katholischer Vater kirchenrechtlich tatsächlich eine Genehmigung oder einen Dispens einholen, wenn sein Kind evangelisch getauft und erzogen werden sollte? Und wurde diese Regel in Deutschland in der Praxis tatsächlich beachtet oder hing das stark von Region, sozialem Milieu, Familie, Pfarrer und Generation ab?

Mich interessiert also gerade auch, ob der unterschiedliche Kontext erklären könnte, warum das für meinen Vater völlig selbstverständlich gewesen zu sein scheint, während mein Mann aus einer ebenfalls katholischen Familie noch nie davon gehört hatte.

I am an American brewer, specializing in European styles, particularly Bavarian. Had the pleasure of visiting some very good breweries in Munich and Bamberg last year, and I had some of the best beer I have ever tasted. Anyway, I made a traditional Festbier, and would like to know what you might call it. In English I would call it Bavarian Party Beer. Would you say Bairisch? Bayerisch? Or am I way off? Thank you.

Let's say something bad happens, like a rising populist dictatorship, where would you run away to?

Ich merke ich werde wieder krank und ich bekomme immer dasselbe vom Arzt gesagt, Paracetamol, viel trinken und Tee. Aber ich nehme ungerne immer Schmerzmittel. Gibt es etwas spezielles gegen Husten, Kopfschmerzen und generell Erkältungssymptome was man von der Apotheke bekommt oder zb bei Rossmann und DM? Oder gibts bestimmte Tees die euch geholfen haben, Omas Geheimrezept etc?

Not a smoker but one of my friends collects packs of cigarettes from all around the globe, he wants a german brand/made in germany, what kind of pack and brand should I get him?