Vent

[u/liali123]

I went swimming today. I figured, what's the big deal? I went yesterday, too, and it wasn't as bad. But yesterday wasn't as warm as today, which means there were much fewer people...

I feel disgusting... I am disgusting.

On my way back, I was throwing up.

The worst part wasn’t that others saw me, but that I “saw” others. I hate it, but I immediately compare myself to them. And I notice everything. I call it my “bdd eyes.” When I see someone I think is beautiful, I get jealous. When I see something I don’t want to have, I’m afraid that I look like that, too. I hate that I think and judge this way. I hate these eyes. I hate that my mind works like that.