She needs time…

[u/Next_Put_6961]

Chicken Thighs and Cheddar Cheese on Peasant Bread

I [37] had what I had been dreaming of since things collapsed around me last fall. My ex walked away last October and I spent time really getting my life together. I was confident, financially responsible, and in great shape.

I’m still all three of those things, though I’ll be working out a bit more here in the near future. A beautiful woman slid into my DMs in February, we met and things popped off. She is what I had been looking for and we were dating with hopes for a long term situation.

Tonight, she called me. She’s struggled with her own things and feels lost. The meds aren’t helping. She’s not feeling like she knows where she’s going. She also said that she wasn’t sure if I was her “person.” I’ve done… a lot to be in this relationship. It was close to three hours away and I did the majority of the driving. I’ve set aside a lot of things to make it happen, and I’d do it again, and again, and again for this woman. She’s decided to step away for a bit and that’s okay. I understand she may not return; she probably won’t return. That’s okay.

I get it. I’m not a believer in soul mates. I think we’ve got levels of compatibility and we operate through those windows through effort, friendship, and love. We make those choices and we work together to accomplish the goal. I love this girl so goddamn much. I’m going to miss looking forward to seeing her. To walking into her apartment to a smile and a huge hug. The at the door make out session when I’ve gotta pee so bad I’m dancing.

I’m not sure what the universe has in store for me, but I need it to be aware how tired I am. I’m safe. I’m just… so fucking tired. I just… I want a family. I want to love my wife and my kids. I want to be an emotionally receptive and responsible partner.

I’m going to keep working on it. I’m going to try to become more positive through this. I’m glad that I emphasized that we needed to kiss more before I left this weekend and spent the day stealing every kiss I could.

I love love. I’m not going to give up on love. I’m just… so tired.

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[u/ludicrouspeedgo]

Take these tattered boxes

That used to hold your clothes

Break them down

Build them back up with your bones

[u/Throw902106969]

You poured yourself out. She refilled you and now... not so much. But you have a great attitude. You'll bounce back like a boss.

[u/xeroxedforsomereason]

your biological clock is ticking away giving you a feeling of exigency. just meditate a bit. all things will come in due course.

just to riff for a second, that phrase, "i dont know if you're my person" is a coded phrase. it's derived from greys anatomy or some shit (seriously). it's very commonly used in female dating niches of the internet. it's been templated. any time i hear this phrase, it reminds me of car sales. "i dont know if this is the right car for me" when said to the salesman makes them do what specifically? are you doing those types of things right now from the fallout of that phrase being said? it seems like it's sticking with you. that phrase can be very similar to a weapon.

[u/Illustrious-Web-1883]

Starting a family and raising a family and dealing with a family is the hardest thing you will do even if you and her start out on the best of terms. My point is, first you and the woman need to be happy together without a lot of complication. If not, don’t put yourself in the position of trying to raise a family with someone who’s unsure of you. I have three kids, so I know a little bit about this. I’m not saying everything has to be perfect, but based on what I read, you’re not ready to start a family with this person. I have no agenda here other than genuinely trying to help you so I don’t mean any offense, but trust me when I say you guys could be the perfect couple and live in fucking paradise and bliss, but once those kids come, you two better be squared away or you will regret it.