My (32) girlfriend (30) of about a year has recently become very focused on my dating history. We’ve talked about past relationships and the like, but last week she demanded that we go through my social media following one by one and I tell the story of anyone I’ve been involved with before I delete them. For background, these were all people from college or a single era I had in 2023. No overlap with our relationship and not a word spoken to any of them in years.

I’m not attached to having them on socials but didn’t agree that she needed to know the backstory to every interaction. We compromise that I delete them while she watches. This still feels a little overbearing but honestly I understand it.

But, she took screenshots of my followers list before I deleted them, then referenced afterwards and found who was removed. She made a list of them and looked at their profiles and Googled (at least some of) them. This feels invasive to me in a way that I don’t really know how to describe.

Related, she’s recently started asking me to compare her to my past long term relationship, a woman I dated for four years until 2022. That relationship ended for emotional and logistical reasons and it’s long in the past - she’s now married and I’ve been in other relationships since.

My gf is convinced that, because I had a close and loving relationship previously, that she is not special to me. This is despite our relationship being defined by a dynamic where I continually show and tell her I love her while she is less openly affectionate.

She needs to know that I love her “more” than I loved my ex which I don’t know how to engage. In so many ways, I do love her more, but I also don’t agree that it’s right to compare relationships in some hierarchy.

Together, these things make her feel like I’m incapable of loving her, and it makes me feel like I’m damaged goods. She hasn’t generally been insecure in our relationship but we’ve started talking about the future more seriously and it seems to have sent us down this rabbit hole.

Homemade focaccia pizza

My wife is from an area with a pretty shallow dating pool. Lots of oil workers, very "traditional" men (work away from home for weeks on end, then drink and go out or buy and play with expensive toys when they're home while wife handles everything, then complain about their family like they ruined their life). That's part of why my wife moved away, and she met me while studying here. One of her friends (we'll call her M) is married to such a man (we'll call him T). She became a SAHM during the tail end of covid. She's been socially isolated by COVID restrictions and her own immune issues, parenting, where they live, and his financial abuse (limiting her "allowance" such that she can't afford to do much). We don't like T. He's a prick. M settled because he's no worse than the rest.

We became parents ourselves about a year ago, and gave all her friends an open invitation to visit and bring their kids. M decided to take us up on it when T wanted to take their kid to a family gathering she couldn't bear attending (that's a whole other story). T took their kid, his sister basically does all of the childcare at these gatherings and she's a great mom which is the only reason M allows this.

So, M visits for a few days. She's never been to our area so we take her on a basic tourist itinerary. I'm functionally a SAHD that has a remote job. My wife is self employed and I support her business in a variety of ways. M watched us juggle our daily lives while hosting a guest. M and my wife went out on their own a few times for meals or day trips. They took our child along for other things to give me space and let me work. It all felt like a pretty basic, low-key visit. We didn't roll out the red carpet, it was business as usual with a third wheel.

A couple weeks later, my wife comes flying through the door saying "M is leaving T! She served him papers and is living with her cousin!". Apparently, her witnessing what a "good" husband looks like (I'm not perfect but I try) was the final straw. She went home and spent the entire day crying before T got back. What she told my wife basically boiled down to her not knowing what it was like to actually have a respectful partner and she couldn't go back to her life after that. She described things I did that weren't anything special for me to do, but were foreign to her, like considering her dietary restrictions when cooking or choosing restaurants, and watching my child while they went out and still managing the household chores. When T left for the fields again, she moved out. He's not contesting her request for full custody. Shocker.

I didn't really do anything and the bar was low with her but it feels validating still.

Anyway, homemade carnitas tacos and green beans.

my actual dinner at the Rockies game yesterday, eaten standing over a trash can

My wife (37F) and I (43M) have a what I think to be a happy, very open, communicative marriage. A year or so ago, we were chatting about her sexuality and how she’s always felt a little gay or bi but never explored it. So I said to her, “Well, you should explore it! I’m sure there is a place on the internet with people in your same stage in life, scenario who are probably having the same thoughts.”  And who am I to suppress this? She’s her own woman, we have children, a home and a whole ass life together. Do you really think she’s just gonna throw it all away? And if she is, and she falls in love or something than maybe that’s the way it was supposed to be.  I dunno.  It felt loving, supportive.  And its honestly, how I felt and still feel.  It’s nice feeling confident in where you stand with your partner even during hard conversations like this.  Anyway, we found Feeld.  She made a profile and instantly got a gajillion matches.  She’s kind of a sapphic wet dream.  Punk-y, stylish, beautiful, effortless. She went on a few dates and it was kind of fun – her coming back from dates telling me about “how weird lesbians are” or “we made out but she had the nastiest apartment.”  It was nice seeing her light up, feeling sexy, feeling alive, feeling like a piece of her that was always missing was finally here.   And then one day she said, “why don’t we go on these dates together? Would it be weird?” “Umm, fuck no. it wouldn’t be.” “But I don’t want to trounce on your thing, your discovery” “No, not at all this is what I want.” 

Fast forward a month, and we are just casually dating not one but two gals. Throuples! One was an elementary school teacher (37F) who was/is one of the funniest people around, and the other was an absolute rocket (26F) midnight ballerina/park ranger (lol shout out Colorado) with a sweet gentle soul. Recipe for disaster, right? Well, kinda. 

It lasted for the whole summer and the teacher was also dating someone else at the time and it ended up getting serious and they now live together.  But the park ranger, her and I really hit it off and would chat a lot, and to the point where my wife said “if you guys wanted to hang out just you and her, I am open to that, since you let me explore” and of course I said “Let’s do it.”

So there was some overlap here, this developed the same time we had a weekend getaway with the teacher and we were all talking about it and she pulled me to the side and said “I know she said shes ok with it, but don’t. Trust me.”

Well, I did.  The next week, We spent the day together, just her and I.  We hung out at her place, laughed and connected. We were intimate a bunch and honestly it was great. I genuinely had feelings for her and in another life we may have ended up together.  I still think about her. But…did I leave feeling like it was some unrequited love? No.  Would she have ever held a candle to my wife? No.  Should I have taken the advice of the “teacher”? Probably.

Because later that week, we were all supposed to hang out.  My wife, the park ranger and I – and we did.  Things got hot and heavy and my wife noticed a bit too much chemistry between the park ranger and I and it was making her uncomfortable I could tell. So afterwards what do we decide to do – go to a sex club. Also, awesome but bad idea. I could tell the vibes were off and I had no idea how to get them back. So I tried to f*ck the awkwardness away, it was hot as hell but still weird.  We hung out for a little longer and then went home, and I asked my wife if she could sleep over and she responded with “fuck no, get this bitch out of my house. ” “Will do, babe.”

And that’s the last I saw of the park ranger.

And that’s the last time my wife felt like “exploring.”

I did the thing I didn't want to do. "I don't want to trounce on your thing..."

I let my ego get in the way.

We're happy, still married, just monogamous.

I told her, with complete honesty "You can bang another dude to even up the score, just send me 3-7 pics"

She said "Thats not what it about you stupid f---t"

Anyway, I've never told anyone that story. Sorry if its weird.

TL;DR: Encouraged my wife to explore her bisexuality, we briefly became poly, I got too into one of our girlfriends, ignored a very accurate warning, and accidentally killed the whole experiment. Still happily married. Now monogamous. Learned some shit. 

Had a reservation for us and we got into a stupid argument while getting ready. She ended up saying she didnt want to go anymore and told me to just go without her.

Normally I would've cancelled too, but this time I actually went.

Ordered the mussels she was excited to try.

About halfway through she texted me asking if I seriously went without her, so I sent her a pic of the food, then followed it with "hope they're good."

Could not tell if she was mad, impressed, or both.

She acted normally when I got home so I'll take it that she was impressed lmao.

Previous post.

First of all thanks to everyone that commented. I really appreciate how there were some different opinions, all of them helpful in their own way and I really liked to have so many points of view on the subject.

Yesterday, she asked me if I wanted to go out to celebrate to have dinner, and on the way there I proposed that she stop the car to talk for a while and spilled the beans. I told her everything, and focused on how what we agreed on didn't work for me, as the solution only catered to her needs and wasn't good enough for me. I explained how I thought that I'd much rather have both of us giving than just have nothing going on. We even talked about some things that I didn't write in my previous post (the post was already long enough as it was lol), and we decided that in order for our relationship to work we needed for it to change. She agreed.

There was a point during the conversation where I thought we were breaking up. But she came through and explained how she wanted to change (I really felt it later in the evening, i really felt she put more effort into being with me and I think she enjoyed it).

She asked why I was with her when the relationship wasn't right for me and that's something that made me think a lot. I love her and I love us, and even though right now this relationship is somewhat taxing (I feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting) I know it's been better in the past and I feel that it's almost guaranteed to be better in the future. Besides, right now I'm happy, even if my relationship is not the source of the happiness. I can afford to have my relationship "drain me" a little bit, as I think of it as an investment so that it can blossom into something better in the near future. If I were unhappy I would have left a long time ago.

All of that said I won't be as "easy" in the future. If I don't see these changes coming soon, I'll look for love somewhere else, I'm not that dumb.

But everything is looking good now! I've admitted to some of the things I've done wrong and so has she. She's told me she wants to change and make things right, and she's admitted she has neglected me these past few months.

TLDR: She admitted to her mistakes and wants to change. I'll keep around unless I see these changes aren't coming.

Dinner: Leftovers from lunch, meatballs, salad and cold tomato soup. I arranged them fancily because I feel happy.

These are oven baked Pizza Bagels. I left them just a little longer than the box said to get a bit of crisp on the mini-pepperonis. Bottom was not badly burnt doing that. Took it out just in time. I try not to microwave these when I can because they get soft in the microwave. I definitely prefer these the crisp way.

I'm alone for another night and needed to get this off of my chest. I feel like a permanently average man. I've been overlooked most of my life. In some respects, I've used that as fuel to try harder in my younger years. I've studied hard, tried to stand out from the crowd. I broke into a very difficult career and have been working at it ever since. But I'm 36 now and I'm looking at my life around me. My friends are out there with their partners (everyone I know is married, I'm literally the only one I know that's single) doing wonderful things, having amazing lives, and I'm coming home to just indulge in some hobbies, stay up a bit too late gaming, sometimes binge a show, then wake up and go to work. It's gotten worse since COVID where I haven't really changed much from those years where everyone was staying at home.

I'm a very introverted person so this doesn't really bother me personally. But I've been putting myself more out there more and with each passing time, the women I've interact with just lose interest. And it dawned on me that I'm single because I just have nothing to offer anyone. I'm just there and I don't think anyone catches romantic feelings for someone that just exists. I fail at the initial dating stage because I don't stand out, like my friends do.

So it's come back from my past when I was perpetually overlooked. Despite my hard work and my career or whatever interest I've developed for myself, I am still just average. Just some guy. I see women on dating apps ask on their profile "what can you offer me?" or women on this website that asks of men "what do you add to my life?" Honestly? Nothing. All I can do is just be there. I can't entertain you because I'm not funny. I can't buy you things because I'm not wealthy. I can't interest you physically because I'm not attractive. I can't impress you with knowledge because I'm not smart and you're probably smarter than me. I don't have fun outgoing hobbies for you to join me in. I don't even have a large friend group anymore because most of my friends at this point are so focused on their partners and their kids. I'm just some guy and I will probably die alone as just some guy that no one really notices.

People have said to me that I can go out there and become a better person. A more interesting person. This feels like advice you give to a 20 year old. I'm 36. I just am who I am at this point. I must stress that I'm not really unhappy with my life. I like the calm and quiet mundane day to day with some casual interest thrown in here and there. But it's not a life that impresses anyone, and the only problem I have with it is that it's lonely. That's all. So I'm not quite sure changing is really honest with anyone, but if being honest means I'll be alone, then I feel like it's a lose lose either way.

My brother is having a wedding so I'll be seeing my Dad for the first time in three years or so. He lied to me and my family repeatedly about said topic leading up to it and then slept with my very intoxicated now ex-girlfriend of 6 years who he had known since we were quite young, until my Mom walked in on a family trip, which was the last time I saw him.

Not sure if I should see him before the wedding or just briefly say something beforehand day of just to let the emotions out before the actual wedding, or just strongman and pretend nothing happened the whole time.

Uber Eats'ed viet noodles

My best friend and I basically stopped talking out of nowhere a few months ago. No argument, no big falling out, he just slowly stopped answering and eventually I quit reaching out.

He texted me this weekend asking if I wanted to grab food and talk. We ended up at this taco place we used to go to all the time.

Turns out his girlfriend really didnt like me and kept telling him I was a bad influence, so instead of telling me any of that he just started distancing himself. They broke up recently and now he wants things to go back to normal.

I missed the guy but sitting there listening to him explain it I realized I'm still pretty pissed. Not sure you can just disappear on someone for months and then pick the friendship back up like nothing happened.

Street tacos

BBQ ribs, roasted carrots, potato salad, yellow beans, corn on the cob.

We were together almost 4 years. So many of my best memories and firsts were by her side. Every vision I had of my future had her at the center of it. She was such a massive piece of my life, my world, my identity. She brought me so much joy, added such electricity to my life, made me feel complete. I was totally in love. And I thought she loved me too. She always said she did.

I should have never let myself get attached like I did. Because now that it's gone, I feel hurt on a level matched only by the amount of love I had for her.

She hooked up with some random dude while we were on vacation with our friend group while she was drunk, and again with one of her brother's loser friends a week before she dumped me (with no reason given, just that she "feels" we should no longer be together, but I'd imagine it's a mixture of guilt and wanting to lean into this more low-commitment lifestyle she seems to desire).

Now everything we built is done. I have to pick up the pieces. I have to create a version of my life that no longer requires her in it.

I am a 28 year old man whose main hobbies include fighting games (and other assorted video games), hanging out with my cats, comic books and bicycling.

either predominantly men-dominated communities, staying inside, or bicycling which isn't exactly a social event (really just riding past other people when I bike alongside my friend).

Dating apps don't work and I certainly wouldn't bother the women in my life with the task of setting me up with someone. Bit of an introvert which doesn't help, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

I just have no idea what spaces to exist in

Green bean casserole 👁👄👁

I’m starting college tomorrow, left my job to work part time at the Dollar General which is really close to where I live.
I’ve worked there a couple times before briefly and under different management.
I used to go in all the time to shop and the assistant manager and I would flirt subtly back and forth.

The flirting went from subtle to texting back and forth being straight about it, and today she pulled me over in the break room and we made out for about two minutes straight.
She wants to make plans and tells me I make her super horny.

Am I in over my head?
The job isn’t that big of a deal for me

Also, I’m 24 and she’s 31.

UPDATE: she took me to show me how to make the store deposit at the bank and pulled into a graveyard on the way back. We hooked up, came back and I clocked out and asked my manager to transfer me stores. I still have my job.
Tbh I wasn’t that into it and it was awkward.
Lesson learned, had my fun, it’s over now.

​

Meal: Fettuccine with seafood and fried tomatoes.

Today my girlfriend of more than 2 years made a big step in regaining to be able to trust again.

We both met in a self help group for divorced/left spouses. Long story short, my wife left me and my daughter for her affair partner after bluntly telling me she always was lesbian and I am the problem.

Got really bad after but with the help of a very observant social worker and a person I never thought would have my back filing a witness statement about the false allegations my ex made to gain custody after the abandonment, I received full custody. Crazy enough, it helped me move on even easier. Only hiccup is my ex dodging child support but honestly, f that.

My girlfriend's husband had multiple affairs and she only found out when he left his account logged in the tablet. She literally saw the affair happening in real time. Talk about ptsd inducing stuff.

Anyway, she has serious trust issues to this day even with therapy. Some things just stay with you.

I knew it from the beginning. But I grew up in a very tight nit household and my parents aren't people who think "privacy". They are literally privacy communists 😅 but they always asked before invading. And they asked a lot. Still do.

Well, for about a year now my girlfriend and her therapist worked on her impulsive need to check but having my parents around (they love her, opposite to my ex) doesn't help, to put it mildly. Adding my own attitude to my privacy, which doesn't exist, my girlfriend had a hard time with keeping her own self imposed boundaries when she got into her own head or was triggered by something.

Today it happened. She crossed out the 31st day on the calendar of the fridge. She is so proud of herself but also somehow mourns the fact that she is like that. The last few days were hard for her. I came home late one day and forgot to call ahead. One time I took the kids to the park with her ex (wild story, but he is admittedly the worst husband but a great father to his kids and actually a great "step dad" to my daughter). This man is a conundrum on legs.

Anyway, we sent the kids to my parents and will celebrate tonight. Because fuck trust issues and fuck anxiety.

As I can't really tell our friends, because some things are private even for me, you lot have to suffer me being proud of my girlfriend. Let's see if she can continue on her self imposed journey. In my mind there will be no failure anyway, no matter if she "snoops" again or not.

Thanks for listening to this stupid guy.

EDIT): thank you so much for al your support and encouraging words. I showed the post to my girlfriend and she likes to let you know that she is really happy that this little progress got do much nice and loving comments.

There are so many comments I can't reply to them all, but thank you all, I appreciate the support.

I will try to answer some of the comments who had questions because I don't want let you hanging.

As for the evening yesterday? Let's just say, parents with more than one week of experience know what happens if you have 4 kids who are all excited and one of them being very sensitive. But we got the dinner time alone before the call came.

Thanks a lot.

My dinner is baked rice with pork ribs.

Since I (M29) can remember I was always idealizing how a relationship should be, even as a teenager I was pretty romantic. I wanted to meet my perfect person, not even thinking too much about the looks, marry her and have a family. Never had big dreams of being a careerist or getting rich, I just wanted to love and feel loved.
All this went out the window as my teenage years were quite ugly, and my lack of confidence didn’t draw people in, but as I overcame this issue in my adult years women started to approach me and I just welcomed any attention because I was starved for it.

My first gf became a prostitute (meanwhile dating, and wanted me to be okay with it), second one cheated on me and gaslighted me meanwhile she continued doing it, third one was a cocaine addict, fourth one started dating me meanwhile having another boyfriend so I ended things when I figured it out.
Fifth one was the final cherry on top, also had a boyfriend when we met and was just looking for someone for a threesome, only told me this right before breaking up. She was fully economically dependent on me, drug user, sex addict and incredibly jealous. During a trip to her home country she sent me a photo of her dinner without realizing there was some guy’s hand on the table sitting opposite to her, when asked she said it was better this way because that way other guys would not accost her so much on the street, and that if I had gone with her it would not be necessary. She ended up insisting so much on doing WEIRD sexual things that I just had enough. I always knew that the relationship would not last, but I always took pity because she had no one in the country and always needed help.

Right before ending things with this last person someone came my way as a friend first, and was very open about having feelings for me. She helped me see how I had given up on what I wanted, how I just accepted that most people are dishonest and will betray me at some point. So I gave her a chance, which was the best thing I have ever done.
After 4 years of smooth sailing in this relationship we are getting married in a month. My trauma from past relationships sometimes acts up and I freak out thinking this is too good to last, so I feel this strange pressure to over perform and become the ultimate man or something. But she reassures me that she wants me for me.
I guess I just want to tell you guys that even if life has mistreated you, keep trying, work on yourselves, sometimes you just need hope and patience. What you want and need might be just around the corner.
Much love to you all gents and lady lurkers.

My girl does jui jitsu and recently there's been a dude there that's been getting pretty obsessive with her and frankly just downright creepy. Several other people have noticed and said as much as well. We talked and I asked if anything unusual had happened recently that may have led to him getting obsessive. She said no happened out of nowhere. I've asked if I could comfort the dude but she asked that I don't.

We'll come to find out right before he started getting creepy she did a photoshoot for his Instagram page that is 100% thirst traps of a whole bunch of different women. Never mentioned anything to me and conveniently left that out when we were talking about what may have started it. She doesn't know I know and so I've asked a few more questions and every answer has been pretty vague. Planning on comforting her today about it. And in my head were over, not even so much the photo shoot but the fact that she hid it and lied saying nothing unusual had happened between them recently.

But I've been cheated on before and my trust issues go crazy at the smallest thing. Honestly am I over reacting or is it time to call it quits?

Coconut sticky rice

Note: This is the mid post of four scrambled eggs, with salsa and two hashbrowns.

To begin this, I’m 24 and have deep issues with anxiety and ADHD. I’ve been managing it with medicine but went off of it 20 months ago after I graduated from college, believing I don’t need it anymore.

This afternoon, I woke up after being stood up from a date yesterday. Slept in horribly, felt like shit about it, and was reminded of an ex I had 8 months ago.

I have zero friends irl as I wasn’t the most outgoing in college, and I have a comp sci major with a bachelors degree in cloud computing and several certifications, which I’ve been applying for jobs in that field for 20 months.

I have a job as a security guard, but I am by myself, at a station with no one else, just pressing a button for the gate to lift and close. I’m grateful for the employment, and some would consider it a dream job, but it is one filled with even more hollow loneliness for me.

I used to have a friend group online, but my anxieties in miscommunicating if I’m even wanted or not, lead me to distance myself from them, which in turn created a self fulfilling prophecy where I was shunted out of it. I was invited into another friend group online, but I feel so distinctly different from them and have little in common. They banter and joke often as a form of familiarity but I’m often referred to as the “token autistic person” jokingly whenever I’m introduced to someone new there. I honestly don’t know what to make of that, since they don’t mind if I’m there but never really invite me to get on call if they’re ever on. I know it sounds stupid wanting to be invited but it would be nice.

Not to mention, one of the people in that current friend group is from the previous one that kicked me out, so it feels even more awkward.

Online drama aside…my frustrations in having no friends irl, no job opportunities in person despite going to job fairs and applying to various locations, and waking up every morning to “zero notifications”, it makes everything suck.

I thank god I have a loving father who cares and checks in on me, in his own boomer way and also helps me out however he can. I know that I can hang out with those my age in my family, but I’m so very different from them. They’re outgoing and passionate, and I’m kind of a recluse with different, nerdier hobbies than them.

I know there are things I can do to improve my life, but at the movement, all reason, all hope, and all motivation feels like it’s being smothered in a lead carpet and I’m so sad sometimes that it gets hard to breathe without choking up suddenly on tears.

I want friends, I want someone to hang out with and chat on a daily basis about stupid small stuff, I want a job in the field I went into student debt for…

…I want to be understood and accepted by peers I don’t have anymore and I don’t know what to do or how to move on. This loneliness is driving me crazy and this can’t be all there is, it just can’t.

Chicken & shrimp alfredo i made

I hate you
I hate you because you dont care about me as much as i care about you
I hate you because all that matters to me is how happy you are
I hate you because you made me feel things im not supposed to feel
I hate you because i cried laughed and felt pain for you
I hate you because its so hard to hate you
I hate you because im happy around you and im not used to being happy
I hate you because i love you so much but i cant love you in any way i want to love you
I hate you because i hate how i let myself not hate you, because for once i didn’t push someone away, for once i opened up and let myself be even remotely vulnerable and you didn’t hurt me for being vulnerable
I hate that i cant hate you, no matter how much you hurt me or how much you do anything that makes me feel like shit
And that between all the alcohol and all the dr*gs, all i really want is to just spend more time with you. I dont want sex, i dont want kisses, i dont want anything but to be with you more than im allowed to be.
I hate that my whole life my feelings never mattered and for once you made me feel like they did.
I hate that i love you, and that im not supposed love you.
More than all this, i hate myself for letting it happen.
And yet i dont regret any of it, id go through it all again because to me you are that special.

Saw a reel on Instagram yesterday talking about how you should use reverse image search to see if the person you’re dating is living a double life. The tone of the reel was comedic but had some real wisdom behind it so I tried it out with the girl I’ve currently been dating for a couple months and, lo and behold, I found her escort listing ad on multiple different sites offering foot jobs and “exotic” massages with a fake TextNow number to contact her. Was completely shocked but am still grateful to God that I found out about this sooner rather than later. Reverse image search is your friend. Always do your due diligence about the people who you choose to interact with. Still a bit heartbroken but more pissed at myself for not being more vigilant. C’est la vie though

Food is some Pesto Al busiate trapanese with some polpette meatballs and a Coca-Cola.

I don’t like playing games , i just want transparency and honesty. But i felt like she keeps my following count ti see if i follow someone else just to confront me or idk what is her reason . Because im not looking for anyone else but her i follow people i know . I got a request from a colleague i know but very little , i still knew her . I wasn’t gonna follow her but u wanted to see if she will notice this .

The same day , 2-3 hours later she started asking me did i follow anyone , and hasn’t replied to me in 6-7 hours . And has told me ,,go look for your other half ,,.
First of all i am not looking for anyone nor am attracted to anyone but my gf, but she feels like she constantly has all eyes on me and its a bit disturbing and obsessive .

I’m 18M, and my ex girlfriend (it feels strange to even call her that), broke up with me over the summer. She ended things because we’re heading to different universities, and she doesn’t think we can make long distance work.

What gets me is that this was completely out of nowhere for me. We already made all these plans about what we would do when we went long distance. I practiced the 2 hour and 30 minute route between my university and hers back in high school. She reassured me that we could do it when everyone else told me I was delusional (in hindsight maybe they had a point lmao).

It’s probably my bad for getting so attached.

Now I’m in a college dorm 2 hours away from home. I don’t know anyone in this town. I don’t have any motivation to make any friends. The only thing I do when I get back from classes is bed rot until 10pm and then speed on empty highways. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like myself.

Dinner is a couple of chewy bars and my favorite soda.

Just some bananas I had.

Will try to keep it short: my (40M) GF (33F) has recently become irrationally jealous of my friendship with a female neighbour. I get along with said neighbour like I do with any other neighbour (neighbour talk, + the ocasional chat about this or that topic, that I would have with anyone, regardless of gender or marital status). This particular neighbour is single and good looking, but there have been 0 attempts at anything from either side, or any chat that might be interpreted as something else, nothing. She is fully aware that I am in a long term relationship with my GF, and has met her once or twice.

GF is fully aware she is blowing this out of proportion, and she feels bad because of it. She knows that, rationally, she has no reason to suspect anything (I have never been unfaithful or deceptive to her) - it's a fully irrational thing, but she just can't help herself. I already told her I would dial back my interactions with said person, not because I feel like I am doing anything wrong (and she agrees), but because my GF's mental wellbeing is more important than building a friendship with someone I just met. I've also told my GF I can show her the messages I exchange with said neighbour at any time she wants, if it helps calm her anxiety down. She usually says no because she doesn't want to be that type of GF (neither do I), but eventually she gives in, I guess because again, this is an uncontrollable thing for her, and it does help calm her feelings down.

This is kind of a first for me, because a) my GF has never been the jealous type, we started off as long distance for the first few years of our relationship and we were both fine with it, and b) I've dealt with jealousy where the two people have different perspectives on it, but in this case we both agree it is unjustified and irrational, but she just can't move past it

So I guess advice is welcome. thanks!

(edited to fix a typo)

I swore to myself that over this summer I would work on my personal projects, but I've procrastinated the hell out for 2+ months, and now my 3rd year of uni is starting in a month. Already internship applications are starting to open. I have no projects, and I've started panicking by vibe coding my projects which I absolutely hate that I'm doing this, but I've wasted all of my time. My 2nd year grade was mid as well (because I crammed days before the exam) and it hurts me to know what if I had just tried hard, I could've gotten a legitimately good grade.