I’m lost. 💔

[u/Competitive_Youth163]

🫩For the first time in my entire life i’m lost. My girlfriend has left me very recently. We’ve been together since high school until now. We had 8 LONG YEARS together. We been through everything together from prom, graduation, and even moving to a new city. EVERYTHING. We grew up together. We had conquered so much i thought. We helped each other fight battles and overcome evil together. But just recently. All that has change. I felt blindsided completely, She told me she loves me but is not in love with me. Those words broke me. We tried rekindling, We tried giving it time. It didn’t work. She’s all i know and all i got. I have no friends really she was my best friend. i have family but it’s different. I’ve been fighting this and holding everything in and i can’t no more. Everything i own or have just lingers back to her. We built everything together so there’s constant memories for everything. Even the tiniest of things. Now i’ve been coping now for past few days and i feel nothing. I feel lost still ive been calling out of work. I feel like i gotten 0 closure and a tiny bit would help me but i can’t get any because she stuck and is trying to find herself. I don’t wanna move on i don’t wanna give up but i feel more and more everyday that’s what she wants. I don’t wanna pester her. But i’m just so worried. She hasn’t answered me with the last 35 hours or so. Idk if it’s good to let it be or not. I wanna show that i’m fighting for this but idk if i can win. I’m genuinely lost. i’m 25 and i thought we would be together forever 💔🫩 Sigh…

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[u/sel_1197]

Glad you’re letting it out. Feel all the things then get back into your life. It’s gonna suck but then it’ll get better ❤️‍🩹

[u/Saintpuppet]

Same, we were together for 9 years, so lost now, it's almost a year past breakup not feeling much better.

[u/No-Beyond-3536]

As men, our partners are usually our closest and only confidant, who we rely on for emotional support, intimacy, often our best friend.

So when we lose that, we really do lose 'everything' and that's why it feels so crushing.

We lose the version of ourselves - who we were when we were with that person - so there is also en element of identity loss.

The result is feeling completely lost, to the point of not knowing who you even are any more.

Unfortunately when one side feels blindsided, the other has usually been contemplating the decision for quite a while. You got together young at 17, and the sad fact is between 18-25, people change a lot.

This is going to suck real bad for awhile. Your goal right now is to just survive. Let it all out, cry, grieve. Make it to the next day. I promise you one day soon won't be as bad as the day before, and you build on that slowly, but surely. Men also process their emotions differently, physical action is one of the best ways to deal with it, whether it be going for a run, working out, hitting the punching bag (it's why a lot of people recommend hitting the gym).

I'm a month on from my 13 year relationship after she said she wanted divorce. I'm still in pain but I'm slowly finding ways to process and begin the healing journey.

You've got this, I promise you things will get better 🫂