r/CatTraining • u/Puzzleheaded-Day744 • 5h ago
Introducing Pets/Cats Cat Introduction, need reassurance. Big age gap.
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Hello everyone!
Long post I’m so sorry I just need help. Skip to the end where it says “start here for TLDR” to read the actual HELP part.
I have a 10 year old female resident cat called Dollar who’s very anxious. We adopted her when she was 7 months old and she was the only cat not out with the other ones, so I guess she’s always been anxious.
My husband and I only have her and we barely have people over so she’s not used to people or animals besides the eventual guest or birds, squirrels and cats outside.
A few weeks go a cat showed up on our porch and long story short, the neighbor abandoned him. He’s a 2 or 3 year old male and we decided to adopt him. Dollar would see him and us playing with him through the window outside and not care too much, she was just curious.
We adopted him on July 27th 2026 and got him checked up, neutered and the whole thing. We named him Charlie. He’s a sweet boy who only wants to play, although he’s a bit two faced as you can see in the video (I’ll explain later in the post lol).
I read every article under the sun about the slow introduction method and that’s what we did. But I KNOW we went a bit too fast.
On week 2.5 we lifted the veil and let them see each other through the tall cat gate. Dollar was never curious to go see him when the gate was covered and the food trick didn’t work either as she’s not used to treats or cares for her daily tuna enough to desperately want to eat it. Charlie, on the other hand, is. So we thought we would never progress because she wouldn’t go near it.
START HERE FOR TLDR
Charlie: 2 or 3 years old, he’s not aggressive, never one hissed at her, never showed any signs or aggression but he’s cautious of her
Dollar: 10 years old anxious, pounces at him, hisses, growls if he gets too close, is terrified of him but in an aggressive way.
Moving forward to where we are now. Today is September 1st, a little over a month and we’re at the stage where we can have long supervised visits and sometimes Dollar doesn’t care and just minds her own business, but sometimes she’s hyper vigilant seeing red and nothing can take her eyes off of him. Charlie only wants to play.
We’ve had around three fights where no fur flied but she pounced on him, he “got big” on two paws like cats and bears do lol, but didn’t attack her or showed his claws. I don’t even think she had her claws out. After they do that, each one runs separate ways, terrified. We end the session then.
Now we don’t try to let them get close to each other during supervised visits but I think they should set their boundaries like cats do naturally.
With much hesitation we introduced Churu and they eat happily when in the same room and we’re trying to have it as a positive association. But only once a day.
THATS WHAT I NEED HELP WITH.
In the video you’ll see how Dollar sometimes will come up to him at the gate only to bully him. I don’t know if I should stop this before ir happens or not. And as you can see, two faced Charlie waited for her to be distracted and stalked her, I think to play????
This is what Dollar did a few times during the supervised visits and that’s what she’ll do, but since there’s never fur flying or fluffy tails or anything too alarming, should I let them “figure it out” within reason? How can she attack him but at the same time sometimes slow blink at him 😭
Example of good and bad sessions: as I type this, which was on the same day as the video, Dollar is on her window bed sleeping and Charlie is on the sofa sleeping. But sometimes he wants to play and walk around and she gets very anxious.