When I was 16, I met this girl (she was 15) in school, we got signed together for a group and we immediately hit it off as friends, after a while, I began to have feelings for her, I struggled with self confidence so I slowly started to believe in myself more and asked her to hangout, she decided to make it a date and I agreed joyfully, after that singular date, she told me that she was gay and into one of my classmates, it crushed my soul but I tried my best to put it past me, after that, she then took back her statement of her being gay and wanted to go on another date, I, stupidly, agreed and we went on dates for a while, I asked her out 3 times and she postponed anything we have each time, this was in the span of a year, I was loosing feelings and I told her this and wanted to move on, she crashed out on me and went on a rant on how “all men are the same”, we stayed friends because apparently she was just being emotional. After that, I gained enough confidence to go on dating sites and matched with a girl, we planned a date after a week of knowing each other and when I want to pick her up, it was a catfish, I still played nice during the date and paid for the food but went home early, I have horrible luck. (TL;DR: I got played for an entire year and moved on and got catfished the same year)

I met this girl a few weeks ago. We had an amazing first date. We spent 5 hours talking, and I felt more emotionally connected to her than anyone else I've gone on dates with. She said she felt the same and immediately canceled the other dates she had lines up.

However, I did find out she went on dates with 5 other guys before me in the same week we met. And she went clubbing the night before we met. She also called herself a player. I overlooked this because our connection felt so strong, and it was before we had met in-person.

We had a second date the following Saturday. and agreed that we wanted a relationship. We kissed and made it official. Yet this last Tuesday, she said she was going out for drinks with her classmates. She said she's a lightweight, so she wouldn't have more than one drink, and would be home around 8 PM so we could talk on the phone.

Instead, her classmate told her he's disappointed she found a bf, because he wanted a chance. She then proceeded to have multiple drinks with this group of classmates, and ended up very drunk. He recorded a video of her hugging his arm, with her head resting on his shoulder, both of them giggling and smiling. He posted it on social media and tagged her, so I saw it. She didn't end up calling me until 10 PM.

3 days into our relationship, and I already feel betrayed. I feel embarrassed to break up 3 days in, but this feels like a deal-breaker to me. I'd appreciate other perspectives.

Tldr: We have strong chemistry, both wanted to move quickly and commit, but she immediately got drunk with another guy who flirted with her.

TLDR; I come with guy to pick up a truck he's buying, only to find out he's basically never driven before and doesn't have his license and I'm forced to drive his uninsured and unregistered truck 12 miles back to his house. This is our first date.

Apologies in advance for how long this post will be.

This guy was a friend of a friend (of a friend) that I had met two times previously. I thought he was cute, and shortly after the last time we hung out in a group setting he messaged me asking to take me out on a date.

We agreed to get dinner and then go to the park, but he mentioned that at around 7PM he was picking up a truck to buy and that I could come if I wanted. I didn't mind, so I drive 45 minutes to meet him at his place beforehand, only to be immediately disappointed that he's wearing sweatpants and a wrinkled T-shirt to see me. He also smelled sweaty when we hugged lol. For context, I had dressed up and done my makeup/hair.

His roommate was going to drive us to the truck pick-up spot, so we're talking while waiting for his roommate when he tells me he doesn't actually have his license? I'm dumbfounded and asked him how he had planned to drive this truck back home if I wasn't here, since it would've been illegal to drive without a licensed driver in the car. He assured me that he had planned to drive it home himself, but it's fine since he's going to take his driver's test tomorrow and that he had already passed his written exam, etc. I was like, okay, whatever, he's taking his driving test soon so he's probably a pretty okay driver who knows how to handle himself on the road.

We get to the truck pick-up spot (some dude's house), and he gets the truck before his roommate leaves. (The drive there was over 10 miles from his house by the way, which took around 20 minutes on the freeway or 40 minutes locally.) He starts acting nervous and saying that he thinks I should drive the truck, but I'm assuring him that he should try driving it since it's his car that he's apparently going to use on his driving test tomorrow. I also learned that he doesn't have car insurance, which he apparently didn't know he was supposed to have...

We get in the truck and he immediately starts struggling, with the truck jerking back and forth as he tries to drive. I ask him what's wrong, and he confusedly says that the car is moving on its own. I look over and I see he's in Drive. He didn't know that when you're in Drive..... you have to brake for the car not to move forward....... 🤦

He proceeds to drive down the street extremely clumsily before giving up less than 500 feet away and says that we have to switch and that I should drive. I'm again, FLABBERGASTED, that if I was not here, this man had the audacity to have planned to drive this truck ON THE FREEWAY back home by himself, uninsured, unlicensed, unregistered, and having 0 driving skills whatsoever. So now I'm risking myself and my license having to drive his uninsured car back to his house before we go to dinner. When we get back, he changes into slightly more presentable jeans before I tell him that he should try driving the car to the restaurant, mostly because I didn't want to drive it anymore. It's only a 4 minute drive, so he hesitantly agreed.

I then have to show him where the blinker is, which he called the "left right thing". He also accidentally hits the gas for a second before I put my seatbelt on, jolting me forward and making me almost go face-first into the windshield.

Once he starts driving, he then has the audacity to say "this driving shit is easy!" AS he turns left from the wrong lane. In this 4 minute drive he somehow also veers out of the lane a few times. We turn into the restaurant's parking lot, and he completely ignores my instructions and attempts to park on his own completely crooked in what he thought was a parking spot (it was not a spot). I genuinely wanted to teach him how to correct his parking, so I encouraged him and gave him instructions on how to reverse out and try again, before he gave up and made me switch and park the truck for him.

Reminder that even after this he was still confident to take his driving test tomorrow morning, which in our state requires forward parking, reverse parking, parallel parking, and driving on the highway.

He then tries to convince/pressure me after dinner to watch a movie and stay the night with him on his bed-frameless mattress sitting on the floor.

Safe to say I never want to see him again. It was more than the incompetence, it was the confidence he had WHILE being completely and utterly incompetent. Bro wasn't even acting embarrassed that he was being such an idiot and a bum lol

Also, this was my first date with a man. I'm pansexual and in the past have mostly experience with women and NBs. This unfortunately was not a great first experience lol

Most recent man: I had just finished working an overnight shift, going home, and showering. He called and insisted on seeing me that day, wanting to take me to lunch, claiming he’s a spontaneous man.
I explained I just finished working a good 13 hours. And on top of that I have work that very night again, so I need rest. I told him I don’t wanna go out to lunch or meet up anywhere, I just want to stay in my bed and relax. I don’t want to drive, either.

He offered to come drive to me. I explained if I’m having visitors, I am uncomfortable if my home is not cleaned properly. He kept insisting it’s fine. He kept telling me it’s just a social construct that I feel I need to have a clean space, and I should just let him come so we can watch this movie together.

I voiced many times that a random meet up with 2 hours notice is not what I want and it’s not what I have done with anyone before, especially without a clean home. I tried to explain that just bc something is a social construct does not mean it has zero value, I’m still allowed to care about it.

He visits, starts complaining that my bed is not big enough (he knew prior that I had a twin), doesn’t have enough structural support, the dishes need to be washed, and my apartment is too small and toilet could be cleaned. He kept giving me unsolicited opinions about how if it were him, he’d just eat the cost and get a bigger apartment. He’d take the bed and move it to the other side. He’d get rid of the desk. He’d get a bigger sofa etc…

Then he kept grabbing my butt constantly even though I grabbed his hand/arm and moved it away at least 8 different times.

Physically, he was also unattractive to me. We had FaceTimed for hours beforehand, but in person it was different. I was not attracted at all to his body. He also had a dirty car that smelled like weed.

We were kissing a bit. I thought maybe I can get into things if I try. I could not for the life of me get turned on or interested in him. He ended up leaking precum all over his shorts, then used my blow dryer to dry the jizz on his shorts.

Afterwards, he insisted on taking me to dinner. He was pissy and whining a lot about not being able to properly pay for parking at this place due to some tech error. Then he proceeded to show more interest in talking to the people there than with me.

We went back to my apartment since he wanted to see the gameroom. Then insisted I play a few air hockey games with him even after I’d said I didn’t wanna play.

TLDR: I had a meetup with a guy that was extremely pushy and didn’t care to listen to anything I wanted or thought, and I did a horrible job trying to enforce my own needs/comfort. I should have refused to let him visit in the first place. Tf is wrong with me that I let all this happen

TL;DR she cheated on her boyfriend with me and I started having feelings for her and then she led me on, then told me about the boyfriend as if it was nothing but unavoidably got married to him because of family pressure.

Let me tell you my story.

I met this girl near where I live and we happened to be headed back home at the same time one day. And just by one conversation alone, we both realized that we would want to get to know each other better, but couldn't get to admit it. She found my contact from somewhere and we started talking more and soon went out, where we exchanged many world views.

The following weekend, it was Netflix and Chill. My first ever. We were inseparable. I had never felt such passion towards anyone. She kept asking me where I was her entire life. I also realized we are actually very compatible. I could understand her very well. I developed even more feelings for her. Many times she insisted that I don't go, but I had to go off on an assignment (work related). We thought of moving in in a few months after she found a job near where I worked. But here's where it started to go south.

Her mother's colleague's wife died, and their son has known her since high school. So, the girl's mother decided that she would get married off to him. She told me about this in a way that gave me the impression that she is not interested in that marriage, that it is an obligation. But she was feeling guilty. Guilty, because this boy had been with her through thick and thin, and it didn't make much sense because I grew up learning that other's good deeds don't bound you in a way that makes you compromise with your choices. But she, however, needed time to think.

I waited for 2 weeks, and only felt hurt from the silence. I told her that she needs to make up her mind. She started speaking as if nothing had happened and kept giving me reassurance. I grew more suspicious of the sudden change in tone. I knew something was off and I couldn't be more right. Because the next day, I got a call from her number, but it was this high school sweetheart instead. And he told me to never reach out to her again. He didn't let me speak and kept cutting me off. Soon he blocked me from all her socials.

Anyway, I found his number from somewhere and contacted him a few days later. He told me that they weren't just high school sweethearts, they were college \*and\* workplace sweethearts. They had been in a relationship for 5 years. And I found proof soon. I had nothing further to ask, because she had explained this person as someone from her *past*. She left out a lot of things. But despite all this, I cannot muster up any anger for her, or curse her. That is the extent of how much I loved her. And I will forever hold a soft spot for her.

I can only understand one thing from this, and that is, she did not love herself. But everyone around her loved her more than she ever will.

I don't know what happened with her, or whether it really was her call. Maybe she thought I couldn't look out for her financially. Maybe I wasn't that good in bed. Maybe the long distance thing was too unstimulating for her. Or maybe she was abducted by the so called boyfriend. I will never know. But without any clarity from her, I will forever live with these theories that will haunt me for a good amount of time. All this started 6 months ago, and perhaps writing this post now could finally give me closure.

But I think I'm done with relationships in general. I know everyone is just busy with their options and casual flings, and they can enjoy it for a lifetime at the cost of each other because it's not like hurting someone else's feelings so badly could be a real crime anyway, right? And I've accepted that I am solely responsible for losing my own peace, regardless of who is wrong or right. Save you the victim blaming of how I need to have a better texting game with women.

I've even stopped believing in Karma, I have **never** cheated on anyone.

I know I am spiralling, but it feels right to. I don't know why. Maybe this is a cry for help.