Most recent man: I had just finished working an overnight shift, going home, and showering. He called and insisted on seeing me that day, wanting to take me to lunch, claiming he’s a spontaneous man.
I explained I just finished working a good 13 hours. And on top of that I have work that very night again, so I need rest. I told him I don’t wanna go out to lunch or meet up anywhere, I just want to stay in my bed and relax. I don’t want to drive, either.

He offered to come drive to me. I explained if I’m having visitors, I am uncomfortable if my home is not cleaned properly. He kept insisting it’s fine. He kept telling me it’s just a social construct that I feel I need to have a clean space, and I should just let him come so we can watch this movie together.

I voiced many times that a random meet up with 2 hours notice is not what I want and it’s not what I have done with anyone before, especially without a clean home. I tried to explain that just bc something is a social construct does not mean it has zero value, I’m still allowed to care about it.

He visits, starts complaining that my bed is not big enough (he knew prior that I had a twin), doesn’t have enough structural support, the dishes need to be washed, and my apartment is too small and toilet could be cleaned. He kept giving me unsolicited opinions about how if it were him, he’d just eat the cost and get a bigger apartment. He’d take the bed and move it to the other side. He’d get rid of the desk. He’d get a bigger sofa etc…

Then he kept grabbing my butt constantly even though I grabbed his hand/arm and moved it away at least 8 different times.

Physically, he was also unattractive to me. We had FaceTimed for hours beforehand, but in person it was different. I was not attracted at all to his body. He also had a dirty car that smelled like weed.

We were kissing a bit. I thought maybe I can get into things if I try. I could not for the life of me get turned on or interested in him. He ended up leaking precum all over his shorts, then used my blow dryer to dry the jizz on his shorts.

Afterwards, he insisted on taking me to dinner. He was pissy and whining a lot about not being able to properly pay for parking at this place due to some tech error. Then he proceeded to show more interest in talking to the people there than with me.

We went back to my apartment since he wanted to see the gameroom. Then insisted I play a few air hockey games with him even after I’d said I didn’t wanna play.

TLDR: I had a meetup with a guy that was extremely pushy and didn’t care to listen to anything I wanted or thought, and I did a horrible job trying to enforce my own needs/comfort. I should have refused to let him visit in the first place. Tf is wrong with me that I let all this happen

I met this girl a few weeks ago. We had an amazing first date. We spent 5 hours talking, and I felt more emotionally connected to her than anyone else I've gone on dates with. She said she felt the same and immediately canceled the other dates she had lines up.

However, I did find out she went on dates with 5 other guys before me in the same week we met. And she went clubbing the night before we met. She also called herself a player. I overlooked this because our connection felt so strong, and it was before we had met in-person.

We had a second date the following Saturday. and agreed that we wanted a relationship. We kissed and made it official. Yet this last Tuesday, she said she was going out for drinks with her classmates. She said she's a lightweight, so she wouldn't have more than one drink, and would be home around 8 PM so we could talk on the phone.

Instead, her classmate told her he's disappointed she found a bf, because he wanted a chance. She then proceeded to have multiple drinks with this group of classmates, and ended up very drunk. He recorded a video of her hugging his arm, with her head resting on his shoulder, both of them giggling and smiling. He posted it on social media and tagged her, so I saw it. She didn't end up calling me until 10 PM.

3 days into our relationship, and I already feel betrayed. I feel embarrassed to break up 3 days in, but this feels like a deal-breaker to me. I'd appreciate other perspectives.

Tldr: We have strong chemistry, both wanted to move quickly and commit, but she immediately got drunk with another guy who flirted with her.

TLDR; I come with guy to pick up a truck he's buying, only to find out he's basically never driven before and doesn't have his license and I'm forced to drive his uninsured and unregistered truck 12 miles back to his house. This is our first date.

Apologies in advance for how long this post will be.

This guy was a friend of a friend (of a friend) that I had met two times previously. I thought he was cute, and shortly after the last time we hung out in a group setting he messaged me asking to take me out on a date.

We agreed to get dinner and then go to the park, but he mentioned that at around 7PM he was picking up a truck to buy and that I could come if I wanted. I didn't mind, so I drive 45 minutes to meet him at his place beforehand, only to be immediately disappointed that he's wearing sweatpants and a wrinkled T-shirt to see me. He also smelled sweaty when we hugged lol. For context, I had dressed up and done my makeup/hair.

His roommate was going to drive us to the truck pick-up spot, so we're talking while waiting for his roommate when he tells me he doesn't actually have his license? I'm dumbfounded and asked him how he had planned to drive this truck back home if I wasn't here, since it would've been illegal to drive without a licensed driver in the car. He assured me that he had planned to drive it home himself, but it's fine since he's going to take his driver's test tomorrow and that he had already passed his written exam, etc. I was like, okay, whatever, he's taking his driving test soon so he's probably a pretty okay driver who knows how to handle himself on the road.

We get to the truck pick-up spot (some dude's house), and he gets the truck before his roommate leaves. (The drive there was over 10 miles from his house by the way, which took around 20 minutes on the freeway or 40 minutes locally.) He starts acting nervous and saying that he thinks I should drive the truck, but I'm assuring him that he should try driving it since it's his car that he's apparently going to use on his driving test tomorrow. I also learned that he doesn't have car insurance, which he apparently didn't know he was supposed to have...

We get in the truck and he immediately starts struggling, with the truck jerking back and forth as he tries to drive. I ask him what's wrong, and he confusedly says that the car is moving on its own. I look over and I see he's in Drive. He didn't know that when you're in Drive..... you have to brake for the car not to move forward....... 🤦

He proceeds to drive down the street extremely clumsily before giving up less than 500 feet away and says that we have to switch and that I should drive. I'm again, FLABBERGASTED, that if I was not here, this man had the audacity to have planned to drive this truck ON THE FREEWAY back home by himself, uninsured, unlicensed, unregistered, and having 0 driving skills whatsoever. So now I'm risking myself and my license having to drive his uninsured car back to his house before we go to dinner. When we get back, he changes into slightly more presentable jeans before I tell him that he should try driving the car to the restaurant, mostly because I didn't want to drive it anymore. It's only a 4 minute drive, so he hesitantly agreed.

I then have to show him where the blinker is, which he called the "left right thing". He also accidentally hits the gas for a second before I put my seatbelt on, jolting me forward and making me almost go face-first into the windshield.

Once he starts driving, he then has the audacity to say "this driving shit is easy!" AS he turns left from the wrong lane. In this 4 minute drive he somehow also veers out of the lane a few times. We turn into the restaurant's parking lot, and he completely ignores my instructions and attempts to park on his own completely crooked in what he thought was a parking spot (it was not a spot). I genuinely wanted to teach him how to correct his parking, so I encouraged him and gave him instructions on how to reverse out and try again, before he gave up and made me switch and park the truck for him.

Reminder that even after this he was still confident to take his driving test tomorrow morning, which in our state requires forward parking, reverse parking, parallel parking, and driving on the highway.

He then tries to convince/pressure me after dinner to watch a movie and stay the night with him on his bed-frameless mattress sitting on the floor.

Safe to say I never want to see him again. It was more than the incompetence, it was the confidence he had WHILE being completely and utterly incompetent. Bro wasn't even acting embarrassed that he was being such an idiot and a bum lol

Also, this was my first date with a man. I'm pansexual and in the past have mostly experience with women and NBs. This unfortunately was not a great first experience lol

TL;DR she cheated on her boyfriend with me and I started having feelings for her and then she led me on, then told me about the boyfriend as if it was nothing but unavoidably got married to him because of family pressure.

Let me tell you my story.

I met this girl near where I live and we happened to be headed back home at the same time one day. And just by one conversation alone, we both realized that we would want to get to know each other better, but couldn't get to admit it. She found my contact from somewhere and we started talking more and soon went out, where we exchanged many world views.

The following weekend, it was Netflix and Chill. My first ever. We were inseparable. I had never felt such passion towards anyone. She kept asking me where I was her entire life. I also realized we are actually very compatible. I could understand her very well. I developed even more feelings for her. Many times she insisted that I don't go, but I had to go off on an assignment (work related). We thought of moving in in a few months after she found a job near where I worked. But here's where it started to go south.

Her mother's colleague's wife died, and their son has known her since high school. So, the girl's mother decided that she would get married off to him. She told me about this in a way that gave me the impression that she is not interested in that marriage, that it is an obligation. But she was feeling guilty. Guilty, because this boy had been with her through thick and thin, and it didn't make much sense because I grew up learning that other's good deeds don't bound you in a way that makes you compromise with your choices. But she, however, needed time to think.

I waited for 2 weeks, and only felt hurt from the silence. I told her that she needs to make up her mind. She started speaking as if nothing had happened and kept giving me reassurance. I grew more suspicious of the sudden change in tone. I knew something was off and I couldn't be more right. Because the next day, I got a call from her number, but it was this high school sweetheart instead. And he told me to never reach out to her again. He didn't let me speak and kept cutting me off. Soon he blocked me from all her socials.

Anyway, I found his number from somewhere and contacted him a few days later. He told me that they weren't just high school sweethearts, they were college \*and\* workplace sweethearts. They had been in a relationship for 5 years. And I found proof soon. I had nothing further to ask, because she had explained this person as someone from her *past*. She left out a lot of things. But despite all this, I cannot muster up any anger for her, or curse her. That is the extent of how much I loved her. And I will forever hold a soft spot for her.

I can only understand one thing from this, and that is, she did not love herself. But everyone around her loved her more than she ever will.

I don't know what happened with her, or whether it really was her call. Maybe she thought I couldn't look out for her financially. Maybe I wasn't that good in bed. Maybe the long distance thing was too unstimulating for her. Or maybe she was abducted by the so called boyfriend. I will never know. But without any clarity from her, I will forever live with these theories that will haunt me for a good amount of time. All this started 6 months ago, and perhaps writing this post now could finally give me closure.

But I think I'm done with relationships in general. I know everyone is just busy with their options and casual flings, and they can enjoy it for a lifetime at the cost of each other because it's not like hurting someone else's feelings so badly could be a real crime anyway, right? And I've accepted that I am solely responsible for losing my own peace, regardless of who is wrong or right. Save you the victim blaming of how I need to have a better texting game with women.

I've even stopped believing in Karma, I have **never** cheated on anyone.

I know I am spiralling, but it feels right to. I don't know why. Maybe this is a cry for help.

I was actually texting this guy through a game app , and I felt that he was very respectful ,thts why when he asked for my insta account , I just gave him my account name and we started following each other . He seemed sweet , and after we started following each other , we called each other at night , and he was basically flirting with me. I liked him because of how respectful he was , and how he attentively listened to me (btw he is from a different country and he knows french and another language as his mother tongue which I won't specify) and he tried to teach me some french (tmi: i actually learnt French around 8 yrs ago but i forgot ) ,and I honestly liked it as we were getting to know abt each other's culture. That day he asked me to not cut the call , as he felt it was difficult to fall asleep ,he told me under my presence he could fall asleep. I told ok but still I was afraid to give my heart to someone when he told me to sleep with the call on , I was anxious and I wasn't able to sleep properly .I even called my frnd and told her tht I talked to this guy for like 5 to 6 hrs or so and I liked this guy and he is my type.

The next day , also the same happened , but he fell asleep in btw ,and he just was flirting a lot more and saw my insta picture and said he wants me and all , but I would just laugh it off because I wasn't sure if this would work , I wanted to be sure ,he also said he would take me to his country and all , but I have issues with my parents , my worry was if things got serious how would I face all these situations related to whether my parents would accept it or not ,and how serious he is abt it , to the point I had an anxiety attack . He says a lot of things like taking me to his country , abt his exes and how they hurt him( I dint wanna hurt him ,so I wanted to be sure before I had accepted my own feelings) , how I was attractive in his eyes( I have issues with how I see myself ,but him saying things made me feel confident ) and tht too I wanted to make sure what I was feeling was real .

He was honestly really sweet the first 2 days or so ,but afterwards on the 3rd day , he said he liked me , because I'm sweet ,so I asked what if I wasn't sweet anymore ,and he said tht I'm always sweet for him and all , afterwards I also confessed I liked him as well , but honestly I couldn't trust his words when he said he wanted to take me and all becoz he wasn't thinking stuffs practically and based on the situation ,so I explained my parents situation and all and what I was afraid of . I felt tht the first day he was a lot more different , he was attentively listening to me and also present in the convo but afterwards I felt tht even if I'm talking abt serious he just finds ways to flirt , I mean he is actively listening and not actually present I felt . Idk maybe thts when I started having abt things ,ig things would work btw us and he is 1 younger than me , he didn't seem tht matured enough for me , just felt like he's just some things up ,and he even told me tht he knew I dint believe in what he said and yaa thts true . Because I felt he wasn't thinking practically and I don't wanna keep it for later becoz later it would be a lot harder unless u fix ur mind .

I got yet another anxiety attack thinking abt all these stuffs , and I felt tht I'm just taking things so damn seriously , I asked him if we could slow down. And he said yaa coz we are not in a relationship. But uk what after confessing to each other , he asked me for a kiss (like making the kissing sound) but I wasn't comfortable ,so I told maybe later . Sso I was like why is this guy asking for stuff when we aren't even in a relationship, so I thought yaa since we are not in a relationship why am I breaking my mind over this ,I thought I needed to just cool down. (So actually we are texting everyday but it's not like I stopped texting but rather I just reduced the frequency ). He thought I was playing games with him (we had an argument through chat),so I told abt my situation anxiety abt all these stuffs and tht i dint wanna hurt him thts why lemme take some time to think this ,and at tht he was like ok.

And the days in between I dint actually call him becoz I thought he fell asleep , so I dint wanna disturb him , and also I felt this guy took a lot of time of mine like many hrs . And if I went out , he would ask me to not look at other guys and stuff s , I've told him tht I wasn't used to talking to guys and all , but idk he didn't believe me ig idk. And before I started talking to him , I had other issues as well , I was dealing with them as well , but when I tried to tell him either he won't listen and maybe fall asleep or maybe just start flirting with me.

And finally I felt tht maybe I wasn't ready for a new relationship , so I was planning on telling let's just stop talking maybe (becoz if we were still talking he would be hung up on me ) , but the day before and even earlier he asked me for a favour , he asked me for my account like the whole insta account so tht he can keep , I asked him why and he said he wanted to feel close with me ,initially I said no but tht day ,he asked me a lot and told me he won't do anything with the acc and he promised , so finally I gave into it . So at last I was planning on telling him abt not being ready for a relationship thing , i mean he might have read into my energy and maybe he felt off , he changed my bio or smtg and he posted some instants , actually I dint even know he changed these stuffs until I saw someone like it ,tht s when I came to know ,and I checked , thts when I got shocked , first 2 photo were of cats as we both liked cats but afterwards he posted like a photo of himself but not tht clearly but u could literally see a guy was in the photo , I've told him before abt posting stuffs on insta and how it would affect me if any of my classmates saw , and he legit went behind my back and wanted to show off tht I'm his when we legit don't even have a relationship , I felt tht this guy didn't respect my boundaries enough to just follow along with just his promises , I got so mad i got anxiety attack again and I just deleted the account in rage and blocked him from all other app even the app where we used to chat through games . Before deleting the account , I told him I was mad and I dint wanna talk to him or ever wanna see him or wanted anything from him.

He told me tht it's becoz of the energy I gave , yaa I understand maybe I gave him mixed signal but doesn't give u the right post stuffs , like atleast tell me what u did. I only came to know becoz one of my classmates liked it otherwise I wouldn't have known. He told me tht i dint have much to explain ( I dint have the energy to explain so I just said whatever and deleted the account . Because ik if I would explain he might just try to understand and stuff , but I felt tht things go anywhere so I just dint contact him after tht . And for ur info , this all happened in the span of 1 week 🫪🫪. Idk sometimes I feel tht I'm such a fool.

I need to know whether I’m overreacting or whether I’m actually in the right.
Six months ago, I started seeing someone. This person had ended a relationship six months earlier, and after it ended, we happened to get together. Note: I wasn’t the cause of that break-up; they split up for their own reasons, and I only got involved after the break-up.
At first, I understood when he told me he wanted to show her respect and, for that reason, didn’t want to be ‘seen’ with me.
As the months have gone by and whilst maintaining this ‘relationship’ with him – and given that six months have now passed since they split up – I don’t think it’s really normal to still want to show her respect and avoid any physical contact in places she might frequent.
The excuse is always the same: out of respect.
To make matters worse, he continues to speak to her, his ex, regularly – I’d say every week.
What’s more, after I’d got annoyed because he’d first invited me on holiday but then said he didn’t actually have the money to go on holiday with me, he considered inviting his ex. This was on top of the times when I couldn’t go for lunch or dinner and he invited his ex instead.
Finally, I can’t understand why he’s so curious about checking his ex’s social media profiles – I realised this because she appears at the top of his search results.
And I also don’t understand why, at a point when I told him this was all too much and I’d started using the dating apps he’d mentioned – he said: ‘I can’t stop you from using them and going out with whoever you want’.
P.S. He says he really likes me.
Am I really that naive to think this person might actually like me, or should I follow my instinct, which is telling me to get out of this because, not only does he not like me, but he’ll go back to his ex as soon as she wants him to?

Heyy, so this was the 2nd date with this nerdy handsome guy, i liked him because he was cute and intelligent but he used to ask so many stupid questions just out of insecurity

So on this date i was showing him pictures from my last trip and he came across a bikini pic and he got so mad about it. I tried to explain him that its completely normal and i worked out consistently for last 6 months to get into shape to wear bikini on a beach. But i could see disappointment on his face.

We were in an expensive cafe in blr and he told me that he had to go to the washroom and guess, he never came back. He switched off his phone. I looked for him but couldnt ask staff otherwise it would have been embarrassing for me. I didnt know what to do, i paid the bill and came back.

I dont know what happened but a day after he blocked me.

When I was 16, I met this girl (she was 15) in school, we got signed together for a group and we immediately hit it off as friends, after a while, I began to have feelings for her, I struggled with self confidence so I slowly started to believe in myself more and asked her to hangout, she decided to make it a date and I agreed joyfully, after that singular date, she told me that she was gay and into one of my classmates, it crushed my soul but I tried my best to put it past me, after that, she then took back her statement of her being gay and wanted to go on another date, I, stupidly, agreed and we went on dates for a while, I asked her out 3 times and she postponed anything we have each time, this was in the span of a year, I was loosing feelings and I told her this and wanted to move on, she crashed out on me and went on a rant on how “all men are the same”, we stayed friends because apparently she was just being emotional. After that, I gained enough confidence to go on dating sites and matched with a girl, we planned a date after a week of knowing each other and when I want to pick her up, it was a catfish, I still played nice during the date and paid for the food but went home early, I have horrible luck. (TL;DR: I got played for an entire year and moved on and got catfished the same year)

I did.

When I met my ex, i was going through a difficult period and my self-esteem was pretty low. He was very intense from the beginning; very clear about wanting me, very attentive, and very quick to make me feel chosen.

But there was something else i remember clearly: i always had a strange feeling around him that something wasn't quite right. I couldn't explain it at the time. Looking back, i now know there was a reason for that feeling, however i just didn't know it yet.

Because he was so attentive and seemed to care about me so much, i kept dismissing that feeling. I thought, “He cares about me. He wants me. So what's the problem?” I ended up ignoring my own discomfort because his attention felt reassuring. Now I wonder if I confused feeling chosen with feeling safe.

Have you ever had a feeling that something was wrong in a relationship, but ignored it because everything else seemed so good?

I'm so exhausted by this specific pattern in 30-something men on dating apps: High initial commitment followed by a sudden emotional fade.

He initiated every day, sent me gym pics, shared his handwritten goals, and constantly forwarded relationship Reels telling me I was "the woman he always dreamed of." He talked about his goals of having luxury cars, promised video calls that never happened, and sold me a whole narrative of our future together. He even made me believe in him so much that I deleted my dating apps to focus on our connection (lesson learned).

Then, out of nowhere, total coldness. When I communicated how I felt, he hit me with:

• "I'm just hungover."

• "You're distracting me from my millionaire focus."

• "You're being intense".

It blows my mind how a 33-year-old guy can build such a massive illusion—making you feel like "the one"—only to hide his complete lack of emotional maturity behind "career focus" a few days later.

Has anyone else noticed how these guys use grand future plans and intense affection as bait, only to run away when basic consideration is needed?

This isn't the sort of happy ending you'd expect, because it's much better.

I: 35F, moved to Australia from London.

He: 35M, lives in London.

[For those who don't know, the BBC Proms is a famous annual London classical music festival]

Last year a man I had years of history with told me that if I moved back home to London from Australia, he would be with me because I was the one and he loved me. Isn't that cute?! I said, “You’ll get bored" but he took my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, “I will never leave you.” Oh boy, that's when the evil spirit possessed the already homesick body.

Two months later, I called him from Sydney and said, “Okay. If you still want this, I’ll come back to London for you. If you don’t, tell me now and I’ll go somewhere else, because I don't ever want to return to London otherwise." "Get your bags,” he said.
Fasten your seatbelts and store your tray tables ladies and gentlemen for an utter ludicrous journey.

Five weeks before I was due to arrive, he announced that he’d been on a date with a woman he’d met on a kink dating website (Feeld - for all you curious kids out there) and he needed to see her again.

She was fascinating. She had tickets to the BBC Proms. He had always wanted to go to the Proms. He really wanted a second date.

But it was just for the tickets. He'd then end it, he said.

Except then he thought he might just keep seeing her until I arrived. But THEN it will only be me.

Plot twist, he went cold and nearly stopped talking to me. Had a complete fucking breakdown when I landed because he didn’t know what to do because they had so much in common and she was great. In fact, he was "impressed by her". After all, they must have been on a impressive handful of dates at best.
On the other hand, he really doesn't know what I like aside from "going to the beach" (because I live in Australia dooh). To make this more absurd let's admit at this point that she's in relationships with multiple men and that's not really his relationship style, but let's not kink shame at this point.

Eventually he chose me. Lucky girl. So I thought or really, the sunk- cost fallacy told me.

["The phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial" - Oxford Dictionary]

Apparently he had “explored his options.” She offered to be friends. “You may feel insecure about me maintaining a link with her,” he told me. Which was an impressively polite way of saying that him still choosing the other women over my feelings was really a me problem.

And this man really committed to the bit.

He had previously made her a bloody YouTube playlist which I got to see anytime we were in his flat scrolling his TV. One day he pointed at it and said, “You may see it and wonder why it's there, but I don't want to delete it.”

Of course not, it's a sacred relic of the woman that was so amazing and that he can't let go off.

We later at some point went into an adult sex shop together. Let's not kink shame now. He spotted something, became excited, took a photograph and announced he was sending it to a “friend.” I correctly guessed it wasn't Prom Girl. It was however another woman he'd dated a year earlier and remained friends with. Because he has to remain friends with every woman he's shagged - why wouldn't you have your cake and eat it. He positively hasn't got anything going with that one, which apparently makes it okay to send a sexual thing to her in front of your girlfriend. Obviously.

Unbeknownst to me, when he chose against Prom girl in favour of me, they also straight away booked in a 2 months check in. You know, to.... See if he should have chosen her? Rectify his choice if required? Who knows.

Dearest reader, are you surprised to hear it took place? Apparently the result was that she's now seeing someone. And "she wasn't that great" he later admitted when he coughed up about the check in. But that kicked off some chatting again but it was all innocent of course because it was only memes and articles and she only wanted some insight on the law surrounding E- scooters. I'd nearly found it cute hadn't I known she's the one who is an actual lawyer lol.

Eventually, after a total of around 5 months of this absolutely fucking circus, I saw the light. Someone should have called an exorcist earlier but the evil spirit finally left the body. Let him rot in hell.

Amazingly, when I finally challenged him on the entire circus outlined above, he pulled out the ultimate defense: he just didn't realize any of it was wrong. It simply hadn't occurred to him! But now that I mentioned it, wow, it was all so obvious**. His mind was blown!**

He actually held his face in his hands and asked, with tragic sincerity, why he just can't ever realize he shouldn't do something before he does it.

I had absolutely zero cells of interest left in my body at this point. I suggested that if he is fundamentally incapable of assessing his own actions, maybe he should ask someone for advice beforehand.

He looked up, completely serious, and asked: "Next time I’m in a relationship, can I ask you then?"

No, cretin, I don’t take phone calls from hell.

Fast forward, the annual BBC Proms arrived again this year. So I bought a £20 and took my friend yesterday.

As I sat there overdressed in a room full of commoners in jeans that he fitted in perfectly, I started thinking about Boy Math. Turns out the £20 ticket was the best investment he never made.

Then I peacefully went home with my friend and ate ramen.

Double happy ending: Counting down the days to return to Australia on the permanent residency I was granted meanwhile and which he had tried to pressure me into declining from the onset so we could stay together.

I guess in the end I do like going to the beach. Amongst a lot of other things.

I met this guy from a common friend. Initially he was interested with the other girl from our group. His first message with me was asking for that girl, after a week I guess it didn't worked out kaya he messaged me.

We talked for a while until he ended up inviting me for coffee. We did 50/50 on that date which I honestly don't mind. Then there was a time I told him I'm having a coffee with a friend ( na friend din pala niya), afterafter knowing that he keeps on saying "sana all" and the likes bcs we're having a coffee and a good time. Paulit ulit siya sa sana all, so I told him I'll libre him in a cafe next time pero he kept on saying parin na sana all, that he'll ditch his errands if sabihin na pumunta siya, so I jokingly said na sumunod siya sa amin sa cafe and his response was susunod lang siya if ililibre siya so in the end nilibre namin siya ng friend ko.

There was also ​​the time he mentioned he wanted to try samgy and I said na ako din, I wanna try. And sabi niya why not yung cafe na libre ko is isamgyup na lang namin. The price difference was huge wth, pero I said okay na lang for the sake na matigil na. But what the fucking hell, he made me fucking wait for almost an hour sa samgyup date namin. Hindi man lang niya ako hinatid after that fuckung date.

Ako ba yung gago if I was tuned off by that? Kasi to be honest he's kind naman I just can't with his ugali sometimes​

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this and would really appreciate some outside opinions because I’m completely baffled.

I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 weeks, We had two dates, and from my perspective they were both really good. We got on well, there was chemistry, we spoke every day, had phone calls, and everything seemed to be going in a positive direction.
The important thing is that he has obviously seen me properly in person twice in dresses/shorts and my body on show . There has never been any question about what I look like or my body type. In fact, throughout talking to me and dating me, he repeatedly complimented my body and my weight loss as I’ve lost 5 stone and now weight just under 9 stone 7 and have even lost half a stone since we first started dating. He made comments that made it very clear that he was attracted to me even telling me I’m in my prime today whilst on our third date.

Today, completely out of the blue, he left my house without a word.
There wasn’t some huge argument or anything beforehand. I was obviously confused and upset, so I reached out and asked what was going on.
He basically said that some things are better left unsaid and that, ultimately, there wasn’t an attraction there.
And honestly, that’s fair enough. Obviously nobody owes you attraction, and if he didn’t feel it, then he didn’t feel it. I accepted that and didn’t argue with him.

I actually ignored the message.
Then, two hours later, he sent me another message saying ‘did you cry’
I sent an audio note laughing and taking the kick at that because I couldn’t believe he was asking me that after just rejecting me and of course I was upset.

He then sent me an absolutely horrible message about my appearance and body. He started picking apart my weight, my arms and the jeans I was wearing, calling me disgusting, vile and horrible, and eventually told me I “look fat as f**k.”

And this is the part I cannot get my head around.
If he genuinely wasn’t attracted to me, fine. That’s completely his right. But why spend the entire time complimenting my body, going on two dates with me, acting interested, and then suddenly become incredibly cruel about the exact same body he’s previously complimented?
I’m not even particularly upset about the rejection anymore. I’m more shocked by the switch-up.

It feels like there is a massive difference between:
“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the attraction I’m looking for.”
and deliberately trying to make someone feel disgusting and insecure after they’ve rejected the rejection. He was telling me today as well that his out of shape and he wants to get back into his fitness and I was complimenting him telling him I think he looks fine as he is so it’s so strange.

Do you have crazy rejection stories?

I went on a date with a guy after texting him for a while. The texting phase was great. He was the most considerable man I have ever met, so socially and self aware. Philosophical, funny, smart and good conversationalist, attentive just everything great basically. We aligned on everything important, life goals and values.

I saw his picture and I thought he was cool. We ended up meeting impromptu. He didn't look like his picture when I saw him irl, just minor stuff but not really and I didn't like that his images were retouched that heavily. I also believe in basic grooming for dates and let's just say I didn't see that. I just went along with it and we had good talk I guess but he was dismissive of my stories which was strange cause on text he was so attentive.

We were at a park and it dawned on me later on that he didn't offer me drinks or anything to eat (it's okay if you don't want to do that but I realized that I value someone who likes to go out and eat, the classics, until you get to know someone and then it can get spontaneous).

He disrespected my sister when a conversation came up and he felt like he was being called out. Basically I just didn't feel it in person at all.

A few days pass and he asks me why I'm not online that often anymore and if I enjoyed the date. I tell him that I'm sorry he had to point it out and that we didn't click in person. He immediately started getting disrespectful saying I wasted his time. And callously demanded I tell him why I thought we didn't click.

Since I had no more respect left for him I told him I wasn't physically attracted to him and the little things he did that were different from his online persona. I didn't say anything specific cause that's not classy. But mannnnnn did he double down with the insults.

Told me I wasn't even all that (typical) that he compromised, that his friends found me ugly, that he'd bagged so many hot women, that I was just a hoe phase (we weren't even intimate!) that I should've compromised, that I read too many books and I'm disconnected from reality, that I was only good intellectually.

It was so shocking to find that splendid image he built in text crumble in just a few minutes. It was disillusioning I just read the texts pinging one after the other like he was fighting for his life!! My friend suggested I insult him one sharp insult and block him. I loved what she had in my mind for an insult tbh but ultimately decided to leave him on read so he can look at what he said and realize how crazy and stupid he sounded. I hope he reflects a little.

Honestly my thought is this: how is this real?? Those TikToks of men behaving this way, I really thought they were gimmicky but I experienced them all first hand and this just doesn't feel real at all!!! Do you have stories like this??