I finally started getting help for my depression, now i am stuck on small stuff

[u/TigerBasic9546]

I finally seeked help for my lifelong depression issues. And i got some meds, a therapist and a few weeks of paid leave from work.

Now i am at home, and stuck on every small thing, ive been paralysed on my couch for 4h now.

I could cook and i could clean, i could smoke a joint or i could work out, i could tackle my laundry or watch netflix, i could puzzle or i could sort my wardrobe, i could sew or craft smth or i could take a bath or ....... literally anything.

With all the pressure of efficiency and resposibility taken away, i realised i dont know how to decided anything.

Please just tell me anything that i should do?

[u/Occasionally_Sober1]

Give yourself some grace. Starting therapy brings all kinds of stuff to the surface. You’re processing, whether it seems like it or not. That’s not nothing.

I’d get out of the house. Go for a walk, go on an errand, go to the library, anything that gets you out.

[u/PineappleNo8864 → u/Occasionally_Sober1]

Agreed. There’s a motto I like that came from an ADHD therapist: “It doesn’t matter what you decide, it just matters that you pick SOMETHING.”

The way I rephrase it for myself sometimes is, “It doesn’t matter WHAT I’m doing, as long as I’m doing something.” It literally does not matter where you start. Once you get going, your momentum will keep you going. And even making progress on the “wrong” thing is more productive than spending time too frozen to do anything at all.

But I do want to add — it sounds to me like your nervous system is asking for healing. So personally I’d recommend one of the more restful and soothing options, like a puzzle.

[u/iiiimagery → u/PineappleNo8864]

I do the same thing. I choose something random, and if I'm not enjoying it I just move onto another random thing, don't enjoy that either? Move on to the next

[u/elxbth]

Just give into the feeling of being paralyzed. Curl up under a blanket and allow yourself to have this time off from doing stuff that you obviously have no energy for. The world won’t stop turning if you take a break. To distract your thinking I like to put meditations on YouTube to just listen to. A good search is “mindfulness mediations” with “overthinking” or “anxiety” or whatever it is you’re feeling (pick ones with a lot of views because they’re the best). Meditations can help you tune into your body and turn off your thoughts and you’ll be surprised by how relaxed you become by just listening.

I’m sure you’ll get off the couch when you’re ready.

[u/shirazgirlo → u/elxbth]

This is the worst advice I’d ever heard. It’s not ok to sit in the shit and overthink about how you feel lazy and unmotivated.

[u/elxbth → u/shirazgirlo]

I’m guessing you’ve never been diagnosed with depression. It’s not laziness and being unmotivated. There is scientific evidence that shows it’s due to the brain’s neurotransmitters. Your kind of talk will perpetuate the problem. I can offer kindness and acceptance and her therapist can work with her on motivation.

[u/shirazgirlo → u/elxbth]

No, I’m saying OP is lazy and unmotivated. I guess it wasn’t clear. It’s feeling that way and overthinking this about yourself. I will reword that.

[u/elxbth → u/shirazgirlo]

Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion — isn’t that what makes Reddit interesting.

[u/Old_Ant7118]

Have a solo picnic in the sun.

Do a puzzle while watching something dumb on Netflix.

Reach out to a friend you haven't talked to in too long.

Go for a walk, then take a bath while listening to your favorite music.

Go to the grocery store for one thing and see how many peoples' days you can brighten with a smile or a hello.

Take a moment to sit, close your eyes, and feel proud of yourself for taking action to improve your life. Been there - you've got this!

[u/shirazgirlo → u/Old_Ant7118]

Does it look like they need more tasks to do?

[u/MsSamm]

It's called decision paralysis. Write down 6 things you can do right now. Assign them numbers. Roll a single dice cube. Do whatever matches the number on the die.

if you don't have dice, here's a link to a website with virtual dice.

[u/RedYamOnthego]

I don't think a joint is going to get you off the couch. I get like this a lot. Meditation sometimes helps, and it's free. And if I fall asleep, sometimes extremely helpful (set an alarm to keep your meditation nap around 20 minutes).

After taking this time for yourself and doing some deep breathing, make a list of the work you need to get done, cut them into strips, and put them in a job jar. That way, you let fate decide what you are going to do first.

As you get used to doing things again, you can start to multitask. Toss in a load of laundry, prep a pot of soup, clean up kitchen, toss laundry in the dryer, get living room clean and make a pot of popcorn, then watch a movie while you fold laundry and eat popcorn. Nap, have dinner, clean up.

[u/Responsible-Sundae20]

OK, you cannot do everything at once. You are doing so much already and you are doing amazing.

The fact that you are taking time off to work on yourself and getting therapy and getting meds is awesome.

Time spent recuperating does not mean you have to fill it with productivity in order for it to count.

However, if you want to do small things:

Break your home up into chunks. You could clean out a closet. Or take some clothes you don’t like anymore to a donation place. You could clean out your pantry and get rid of everything that is past its due date. Change the sheets on your bed and do some laundry. If you hate your comforter, get a new one.

Go to the library and get a book you’ve always meant to read and actually read it.

A lot of libraries and city rec centers have free classes. Sign up for one that you’ve always meant to take.

Do you like to ride a bicycle? Did you when you were little? Look on Facebook marketplace or your local free exchange thing and see if you can get a bike.

Do you like makeup? Do you wish you were better at it? Go on YouTube and practice doing make up. There’s a billion tutorials.

Do you like baking or cooking? Try something new. Find a recipe that sounds yummy and just try it out. Find something stupidly complicated with lots of steps. I bet it tastes amazing.

Do you wanna hang out with other people? Go on Meetup. There’s movie clubs and craft clubs and card playing clubs and all kinds of clubs.

But most of all, give yourself time. Depression is a monster. You are going to win. But remember that progress is not always a straight line. Forgive yourself when you plateau because it’s not your fault obviously. But you will get where you want to get.

[u/shirazgirlo → u/Responsible-Sundae20]

Yeah, (s)he already has a laundry list of tasks they don’t need more. How about advice on how to do just one task on THEIR LIST?

[u/Mental_Watch4633]

Do like the elevator guy: out in some music and dance.

[u/shirazgirlo]

I second the idea of writing down 6 things you can do right now and rank them by something like importance, length of time, fun to funnest etc. then roll a die and do your best to do it. You can do it! Sometimes sitting in silence gets your mind overthinking about everything that’s wrong so maybe put on some of your favorite music to motivate you.