r/DnDcirclejerk • u/highly-bad • 18h ago

DM advice needed: how to kick a problem player?

Hi everyone, thanks for reading my post. I need some advice on kicking a problem player; how do I avoid hurting my own foot on impact? I never kicked a person before, just puppies and cats, but people are way bigger so I'm having second thoughts

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14 comments sorted by

22

u/Itsa-me-a-Nerd 18h ago

Practice on a large dog first. 👀

2

u/hedgehog1024 Sub-Table of Harlot Encounters 7h ago

Why do I have a feeling that you are willing to be a large dog?

17

u/Wolff_Hound 18h ago

The key is a safe and appropriate equipment. Wear heavy duty boots that are made to protect your feet.

Safety steel-tipped construction boots are your best bet.
You can also try combat boots, but make sure those are made for real combat and are not just a fashion ones.

1

u/Far_Abbreviations936 8h ago

Yes, my experience as a DM is most players like to gnaw on toes. Also, put down news paper.

11

u/Phoenix_Is_Trash 18h ago

Wear steel toed work boots, Kevlar composite should also suffice. It's the appropriate PPE for the task.

Roundhouse is risky and well telegraphed, you'd be best to go for a simple but effective kick straight up into the nuts.

I find it's the most effective way to get rid of problem players.

2

u/Jesuitman01 18h ago

You're insane if you aren't going for a scissor kick to the back of the head

8

u/Phoenix_Is_Trash 17h ago

Clearly your part of the dnd online fandom and not a real dnd fan, because everyone knows DM's are chunky and unfit. How the hell am I meant to scissor kick while maintaining optimum body mass for my role at the table?

Honestly, they need to start banning these fake fans from subreddit. If it gets any worse we are going to need to go make our own r/real_dnd space

2

u/Val_Fortecazzo 17h ago

I will moderate it but on the condition that I can use all the mod pins for my weird AI posts.

4

u/BoredGamingNerd 18h ago

Do the mature things and get someone else to kick them for you

5

u/TurgidAF 17h ago

You'll want to connect with the ball of your foot, not your toes.

Also remember to kick from the hip, not the knee. You'll get way more power by engaging the larger muscles and having your center of mass for counterbalance.

Lastly, try to avoid kicking too high. Not only does it make the strike more telegraphed and easier to avoid or deflect, it also increases the likelihood you'll be overcommitted and off balance. Superkicks are for pro wrestling and Kung Fu movies, if you're not HBK or Bruce Lee keep it below the hip.

4

u/Trevellation 17h ago

If you're worried about hurting your foot, trying spraying them with a bottle instead. I usually fill mine with spicy peppers blended into water, and I aim for the eyes.

2

u/Gritmonger 15h ago

Top of the foot, put some spin on it, aim for the crotch, follow through.

2

u/CornucopiaPacciana 15h ago

Do not kick them, the can have other uses.

https://giphy.com/gifs/yxaUjFTML2lynjsMpH

2

u/SecretsofBlackmoor 13h ago

Kick and kick more.

Kick everything.

Kicking is something you can only learn through trial and error. I kicked a rock once and broke a toe. I would not have been able to learn my lesson by talking to people online.