r/ENFP • u/andrearecrem • 1d ago
Discussion Questioning the E
I went down a rabbit hole tonight and landed in ENFP territory… except I’m really questioning the E. I can be very talkative and outgoing with people I’m comfortable with, and apparently I’ll tell strangers on the internet anything. I’m much more reserved around people I don’t know in real life social situations. I’ll usually observe first, I love being alone, I don’t need plans every weekend, and even after spending all day with people I genuinely like, I’m usually ready to go home and be by myself.
Give me the right person though? I will not shut the fuck up.
So now I’m stuck between ENFP and INFP.
For the ENFPs here…are you actually extroverted in the traditional sense? Do you genuinely get energized by being around people, or are you more selectively social and still need a lot of alone time?
Basically, how did you know you were ENFP instead of an unusually talkative INFP? 😂
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u/enkelinieto ENFP | Type 7 1d ago
ENFP’s are the quintessential Ambivert, neither introvert nor extrovert, smack dab in the middle. I hope that makes sense.
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u/andrearecrem 1d ago
It does! I guess I’m being too technical with the E in traditional sense and keep reading. Thanks!
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u/The_Secret_Skittle ENFP 19h ago
I’m totally an ambivert. This always makes me wonder what an INFP is like (for comparison). Not sure I know one personally.
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u/jasmijn91 ENFP | Type 2 1d ago
The E in ENFP doesn’t mean “enjoys having weekend plans” 😭 It means your dominant cognitive function is extraverted: Ne.
And you may have already given yourself a much more useful clue already: “Give me the right person though? I will not shut the fuck up.”
Not because being talkative = extrovert, but because the question is what happens THROUGH that talking.
Do you tend to process externally: throwing thoughts, connections and possibilities out there and discovering what you think as you interact with them? THAT’s the E.
That’s much more relevant to Ne dominance than whether you want to go home after a day of socializing.
The better question isn’t “do people energize me?” but “does my mind lead with Ne or Fi?” Social extroversion and cognitive extroversion are not the same thing.
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u/andrearecrem 1d ago
This actually helped a lot! I think I was getting way too hung up on the social meaning of E/I instead of looking at the functions. I thought about whether I’m Fi first or Ne first, and Ne seems much more automatic for me. One thought immediately branches into 12 other thoughts/questions/possibilities (hence why I’m here) 😂 Fi definitely shows up when I actually need to decide how I feel or what I think about something, but it doesn’t seem like the thing running 24/7 in the background. So Ne dominant/Fi auxiliary is making a lot more sense now…
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u/Distinct_Impress_859 15h ago
i think its practically a rite of passage for all ENFP's to experience this 😝
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u/Silent_Ad4850 20h ago
I think you are an infp. I'm an ENFP, and everyone says that I'm like an extremely stereotypical enfp, and yes i probs am. I do get energised by being with people, and I can't help talking. I have an infp friend and we are best friends and she is crazy and fun and energetic, but only around me and some others (that I know of) basically she is selectively like this. Otherwise she is extremely soft spoken and like you, loves being alone. So I think you are an infp
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u/andrearecrem 17h ago
This is why I’m confused because my bestfriend of 30 years will describe me this way but my psychologist says I’m ENFP… I’m just going to accept the spectrum is too broad. I don’t know 🙃
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u/Glowing_barricades ENFP 15h ago
Nah, ENFPs can be exactly as you described. Some ENFPs are more socially extroverted than others, and enneagram certainly influences things, but I am exactly as you described and have no doubt I am an ENFP.
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u/cbunnyrabbit 1d ago
I think there are so many ways to be extroverted and introverted. And so many people have both I and E traits so it can be very hard to tell with many people. And so many people have moods where they want to be social and want to be alone. It is so hard to define E and I. I guess one of my go-tos is I feel that introvert-types are focused and consider things at a level that extroverts dont, they have a way of deep diving with detail, and many I types (not all) put a lot of thought into what they are saying which is why they can take longer to answer when spoken to.
E types can often take in large amounts of information- skim over some, be interested in some, not in others, and generally be all over the place with taking a lot of data in but not always doing much with this data. And when speaking E types often construct sentences outside their head even though sometimes it can result in them saying some excessive stuff which probably didnt need to be said.
So these are a couple of the differences but that is more of a general thing. Probably the reason introverts have a lower social battery is that they put more thought and effort into talking socially whereas an extrovert often just says stuff without thinking as much and this takes less effort and stress therefore conserving the social battery. Also I have a theory that extroverts swap convo partners more easily and so take breaks from people more than introverts, who often feel they need to stay there and keep talking to someone.
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u/EaglesFanGirl ENFP 1d ago
ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts, and i would 100% say that tracks. i am def an ambivert
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u/Salt_Truth_4154 1d ago edited 1d ago
"Give me the right person though? I will not shut the fuck up." Sigh. So true. 😄
Nota bene
It seems the fact is that the free manifesting of any basic function is perceived by its bearer as a pleasure, because, most likely, a lot of vital energy flows there without restrictions.
This is one of the reasons why talking with someone who sincerely, without hostile criticism, accepts your free flight according to the basic function, in this case, according to extroverted intuition, brings great pleasure.
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u/nepttonhaze ENFP 1d ago
In Jung's theory, E doesn't necessarily have to mean that you're extroverted. In our function stack, extroversion just means we use our dominant trait to interact with the world outwardly. You can be an INFP but be extroverted as hell for example.
If you want to identify whether you're INFP or ENFP, try to figure out which cognitive function you're more attuned with (Ne or Fi) instead of using labels like "social" or "talkative".
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u/AFormalAlpaca ENFP 1d ago
We are said to be one of the most introverted of the extroverts. Or as I like to say, ambiverts. We more like ANFP. But get me in a room with extroverts I sink into the shadows. Room full of introverts and I'm befriending all of them.
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u/The_Secret_Skittle ENFP 19h ago
This question comes up a LOT. I read years ago that ENFP are the most introverted of all the extroverts on this scale. We might be silly and energetic but we also need downtime. I have questioned my E vs I so many times but posts like this remind me that I’m still likely an ENFP.
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u/andrearecrem 17h ago
Relatable. Then I have people who tell me I’m INFP solely based on this post lol I love hearing the various perspectives and connections to the scale though!
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u/Storm-Weston 18h ago
Both types sit in the middle between E and I J and P. I know some ENFP that are very outgoing but not all of them. The best way to isolate is to check how you handle grip stress. This will highlight your last functions.
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u/andrearecrem 17h ago
Si grip is definitely much more recognizable for me when I’m really overwhelmed. I tend to replay things, compare what’s happening to past experiences, fixate on details, patterns and want certainty. So I guess that’s another point toward ENFP? Lawd help me 😆
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u/Available_Wave8023 17h ago
Extroverts get energy from others/going out and introverts lose energy. Everyone needs both alone time and people time, but that's the differnece.
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u/Storm-Weston 16h ago
You should at some level feel an ESTP super ego that tells you that you want to experience everything or something very SeTias the reason you act the way you do but feel it's somehow impractical. I believe you should have an an ISTJ subconscious. Try it in Ai and get a description about how the patterns work. I think those other functions really help because even though we can develop other functions we will always drop back to the same patterns. In time's of stress out super ego and subconscious even shadow can be triggered and show through. Those will be stronger reactions. When I was younger I suppressed my super ego with all its hopes and dreams but lack of action. I became pregmatic and logical but still wanting all the romance I had hoped for and had worked hard to earn. That was 19. You should be able to spot these and confirm. You can also integrate them or have a positive or negative relationship with them and they will shape you in predictable ways but make you very different than the stereotype. The stereotype is basically about 22 in college so with a personality that is just formed. Early trauma can still change you and pull different functions into your cognitive style.
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u/andrearecrem 8h ago
Boy do I have early trauma to factor in. I only started this search when I started therapy from complex ptsd and having an emotionally abusive parent and an avoidant for the other. My reactions have changed from unlearning so much. I used to have a partner who would quite literally introduce me to someone for the first time by saying I wasn’t a bitch, it just takes her a while to open up. And I’d be sitting there like ????? I want to tell her she has a cool ring and would just clam up. Lol but I know better now. Thanks for the response!
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u/Mother_Cloud_2455 15h ago
Lol you described me. My test actually said e/i. I just go with e though because when it comes down to if I recharge by being social or being alone, I'd rather be with people I like than alone
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u/Straight-Art-2849 1d ago
ENFPs are usually extroverts among introverts, but introverts among other extroverts. That’s been my experience so far.