I’m (33, M) modeling for an artistic nude photography series celebrating the male body - all different types of men. I spent most of yesterday completely naked. Everyone on set was gay, incredibly kind, respectful, and professional, and the photographer is a close friend - a gay Vietnam War veteran and established artist. I trust him completely.

What caught me off guard was how emotionally vulnerable I felt. I’m actually pretty shy, and my body has always felt very private. Standing there naked for hours, knowing everyone could see everything, was embarrassing in a way I wasn’t expecting. People had to adjust the lighting, point things out, discuss what they were seeing, etc.

Nobody made me uncomfortable - it was just the strange, intense feeling of having absolutely nothing left to hide. My penis was literally just out there for everyone to see.

Now I keep wondering if I’m really okay with fully nude photos of me existing in the world for other people to see. Part of me thinks it’s meaningful and beautiful, but another part feels incredibly exposed and wonders if I’m making myself too vulnerable.

Question is as it stands. Outside of sex are there aspects to gay community and life that you actively enjoy? Would you change it if you could?

as the title suggests, my bf of 4 months (not that long, i’m aware) broke up with me today after confessing that he doesn’t, and never loved me. there were signs, but i ignored them like a moron because i need as much support as i can get right now because my father just passed away, not even a month ago. does anyone have any advice on how to move past this because it’s really crushing rn

Hi guys! Bi - probably gay - guy here (48). I would love to hear from any of you who have come out later in life. Advice needed.

Hello! I don’t really know how to start this but recently I have decided to really start loving myself. Just got out of a situationship (maybe I’ll post about that in the future) and I forgot how to love myself. I do some things already to help build myself back up but I’d love to hear all ideas. Here are some things I do

-Walking around downtown, AirPods in and people watching

- Taking myself out for dinner/a drink or two

-Exploring new areas and connecting with new people

- Focusing on hobbies, Old and New

-Everything shower (I’m talking eye mask, candles, body scrub, lotion/oils)

But alas still feeling lonely so please any recommendations will be helpful. Also don’t know if it matters but I’m M25.

Hello, just an advice abot if you guys know about meet other guys here on Reddit. I’m in FL, so, that’s all.

Only use the app a couple of times a week but I always spend more time on there than I want to, always feel better when leaving it for a day, it’s a toxic app with unrealistic expectations for men’s bodies.

Hallo Leute, Ich würde gerne Wissen wie ihr dazu steht? Ich habe es an mir entdeckt nachdem Ich mein Partner beim Fremdgehen erwischt habe. Er macht es immer noch, immer wieder mit verschiedenen Jungs - Männer, Dates über dating apps und in sex-clubs , bars, ect. Und ich finde es mittlerweile geil. Am liebsten ficke ich ihn davor und danach 😛

Was ist daß? Das ist doch nicht normal oder? Am anfang war ich verletzt und böse, doch musste feststellen dass er ein geiles schwein ist der wohl nicht anders kann und es immer wieder tun wird. Also entweder trennen oder akzeptieren. Ich liebe ihn und finde ihn sexuell auch noch so geil anziehend daß Ich es akzeptiert habe und daraus hat es sich irgendwie entwickelt dass Ich es jetzt richtig geil aufregend finde wenn er fremdgeht. Sehr geil macht mich daß wenn er denkt Ich wüsste Nichts davon daß er gerade bei jemanden war der ihn gefickt hat und dann ficke ich ihn geil danach.

Grrrr. Ich weiß für den einen oder anderen wird es unvorstellbar sein. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Hey guys,

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while. I’ll give a little context before getting into the crux of it. I’m 32 and have a Master’s degree in foreign languages. I currently work as an adjunct instructor at a local university—it’s contract-based and pays peanuts, but it’s deeply satisfying since I get to teach language majors.

I’ve been applying for other jobs on the side, but it’s been brutal, to say the least. The job market feels completely stagnant right now. I’m not claiming to have some ultra-niche, magical skillset, but I speak three languages fluently and three others well enough to hold my own. I’m also prepping for a national certification exam that would credential me as a sworn legal translator.

On paper, all of that sounds pretty solid. Yet I feel completely stuck. A close friend of mine just landed a major job opportunity today—and while I’m genuinely happy for them, I’ve been on the verge of tears all evening because I just don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. On top of that, I feel like a terrible person for even feeling this way. I keep asking myself: What if I pass this translation exam and nothing actually changes?

To add another layer to it all, I’m gay and still in the closet. That weight alone takes a massive toll on me. I’m a total introvert, so talking about this stuff openly with people in my real life feels almost impossible, which is why I’m turning to this space.

How do you deal with feeling worthless? How do you stop comparing your timeline to everyone else’s? And how do you convince yourself that you’re actually not a total waste of space?

Key accessories to bring into a gay sauna?

Interested to hear from other men what personal items you may bring, have seen others bring or recommend to bring into play spaces in a gay sauna.

Obviously venues provide condoms, lube, large towel and refreshments but notice some guys bring their own things.

Could be:

- Small bum bag/waist bag (to have personal medication- ie asthma)

- Small cotton face washer

- travel sized tissue pack

- Wearing and bringing along rubber/plastic shoes/slides

- Silicone lube (often only waterbased lube provided)

- Condoms (if needing non standard sized condoms provided)

Thoughts on the above and what other things?

On my previous post I told the story how I was curious so I tried with a guy for the first time ever but I had that quilty and disgusting feeling afterwards. So I processed it, thought about it, had flashbacks of everyhting that went down with this one twink and how I enjoyed it. And I will say that I would definetly want to try again. The way I felt when he took the lead and took the charge, when he kissed me and grabbed me everywhere without asking me (we both agreed on that), the way I was so turned because of it and not to forget the first time getting a bj from a guy and also giving a bj to a guy for the first time. All of it was great.

So it is safe to say that the guilty feeling and disgust in my throat dissapeared and I would definetly want to try again. (but only with a twink, femboy or feminine guy. They are the only ones that turn me on).

Now one question remains. Does this make me officialy bi? I never imagined myself being part of LGBTQ

Hey I’m 24 now and it’s been already 6 years since Covid and I still remember every moment. We spent hours and hours chatting and talking, you were insecure about your homosexuality and you’ve always been dreaming about moving out from Russia to Germany so that we could live together one day. You promised me that one day we’ll meet and finally be together forever but it ended sooner than expected. Distance grew between us and we no longer talked as the virus spread all across the globe and I got sick and even lost people whom I thought I’d never lose. I know that the possibility of you reading my message in this group is pretty low, but if you ever did, I hope you’re having the life that you dreamed of cuz there will always remain a place for you in my heart Roman.

I’m 25M living in Australia and I’ve reached a point where I really want to start exploring my sexuality with other men. I’m fairly inexperienced and feeling a bit unsure about how to approach it.

I've heard about the various hookup apps and sites, but I'm not really sure how to go about it. Any tips on what to put in a profile or how to start the conversation without it being awkward?

I’d ideally like to have at least a little connection and feel comfortable with the person, although I don’t want to be too close as I don’t know how I’ll feel once I actually experience it.

Any advice, tips or stories about similar situations would be greatly appreciated.

Hii folks,

My first post on reddit, I don't know if it is appropriate for this channel..

I am gay guy 24 trying to open up in life and shifting to Bangalore

Can I know the life of gay techie folks here and how to try to love life to the fullest..

I am introverted so I won't go directly to gay clubs.

It would be helpful if some guys share their experience. And straight guys can weigh in their opinion if they have gay flatmates as I will soon be sharing my flat with someone.

Thanks

I (20m) have a boyfriend who is also 20 years old, we have been together for two years now and we love each other a lot, he confessed to me first so it’s a first love gay relationship, I love him so much, and he became friends with a guy who I will call Jude. Jude is (21m) and is what we could describe as a jock, he is tall and athletic, although initially it felt like Jude was a good friend, who allegedly also has a “girlfriend”.

In recent months, I have seen that Jude is different to my boyfriend now, he is a little bit too staring at him, and one time when he was over, my bf went to the kitchen, and bent down to get out something and Jude was there and he tried to touch his ass? Then when my bf went to take a bath, he had left his shirt in our room and Jude went in as he wanted to charge his phone, but then curiosity got to me and I saw him sniffing my bf’s worn shirt?

Surely in my mind I think he likes him, Jude is a good guy, has a nice personality, maybe he is dealing with internalised homophobia? But honestly if he likes him, I feel so jealous, I didn’t want Jude to find out that I caught him doing those two things, and neither asked my bf. What should I do? Honestly I am stuck, should I ask my bf to stop seeing Jude, that would feel like I am controlling who he can be friends with and can’t and I don’t want that to happen.

Do you just walk away when you learn that the man is deaf?

I'm a gay man with BPD, and I've recently started noticing a relationship pattern that seems to go all the way back to childhood. I'm curious whether other gay men experience anything similar.

My BPD traits seem to be activated much more strongly in close relationships with straight men than in my friendships with women. With female friends, I can be close and loving without the same level of obsession, possessiveness, fear of abandonment, or emotional dependence.

But when a straight guy (especially one I admire) starts showing me genuine attention, care, or interest, something can happen very quickly. I become intensely attached, and often eventually develop sexual or romantic attraction and limerence.

Looking back, this pattern seems incredibly old:

• As a kid, my closest male friendships often became "crushes."
• I frequently felt different from other boys and afraid of being left out.
• My male best friends would become extremely important to me.
• Eventually they would get closer to other guys, and I would feel replaced or abandoned.
• As I got older, jealousy and possessiveness started becoming part of the pattern.

Something I've recently realized is that many of the guys I became attached to were also people I deeply admired intellectually. Sometimes I was jealous of them and we were competitive. So the feelings could become this strange mixture of:

admiration + jealousy + competition + wanting their approval + wanting emotional closeness + attraction.

I've also wondered whether growing up in an environment where "gay" was used as an insult (and where I got the message that being different from other boys was something to be ashamed of) made acceptance from straight guys especially psychologically important to me.

Part of me wonders whether my brain learned something like:

"If this straight, intelligent guy likes me and thinks I'm worthy, then maybe I'm not weird, undesirable, or fundamentally lesser."

And once someone becomes a source of that validation, losing them doesn't just feel like losing a friendship. It can feel like losing evidence that I'm worthy.

I'm NOT saying this is definitely the explanation for my BPD or my attraction patterns. I'm just trying to understand myself better.

I'm especially curious whether other gay men with BPD have experienced something similar. Do your BPD symptoms or "FP" dynamics tend to get activated specifically around straight men or male friendships? Have admiration, jealousy, attraction, and the need for validation ever become tangled together for you?

I'd really appreciate hearing other people's experiences, especially from gay men, but anyone who relates is welcome to chime in.

I am a gold star gay and I am in my early 30s…

Why does finding gay love feel so hard?

I’m 22 now, and honestly, I’m tired of waiting for love.

For years, I’ve met so many people and tried to connect with them, but somehow none of them ever turned into a mutual relationship. I’ve had quite a few one-sided crushes and feelings, and I know what it feels like to care deeply about someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

What makes it harder is seeing other people find someone they genuinely love and build a life together. I know relationships aren’t perfect, and I know they come with difficulties, but at least they have someone beside them to face those difficulties with.

Whenever I ask someone for advice, I usually hear the same thing: “Just wait. You’ll find the love of your life eventually.”

But honestly… I’m tired of hearing that.

I have so much love to give. I want someone I can care about, talk to, spend time with, support, and feel safe with. I want to experience what it’s like to be loved back—not constantly wonder whether someone will ever choose me.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder: How long am I supposed to wait?

I know I’m only 22 and I still have a lot of life ahead of me, but when you’ve been waiting and experiencing one-sided love for years, it can start to feel like maybe it just isn’t going to happen for you.

I’m not asking Reddit to predict my future. I just want to hear from people who have been through something similar.

Did you ever feel like you were going to stay single forever? When did things finally change for you? And how did you deal with the loneliness and frustration while you were waiting?

I’d really appreciate some honest experiences, especially from other gay men. ❤️

m a 17M and since about 1 year ago I’ve been questioning my sexuality. But around 6 months ago I just woke up one day and I kinda just realized I was just flat out gay and just stopped having feelings for women. And that has stayed true since, but recently I’ve felt pressured to find a girl to date. For example at my school in one of my classes a few in the kids there call me stuff like “Fag” and “gay” because I went to an all boys school(I’m not out to anyone in my life). And in the past I haven’t cared since I’ve been called stuff like this all my life by friends and such, but recently I’ve felt terrible about myself because of it for some reason. But because of stuff like this I’ve felt like I HAVE to find girls sexually attractive. When I’m walking in the halls and see a girl who I think is pretty I feel like I should find them sexually attractive but the thought just kinda grosses me out. And when I talk to women I feel a sense of nervousness because I feel like I SHOULD be hitting on her, or she thinks I am trying to hit on her. I don’t know if I may be attracted to women deep down but when I truly think about who I want to love I just can’t picture a woman at this point in my life and I really never could, but I thought it was the only option. It is worth noting before I realized i liked guys I watched straight porn and was addicted in the past, but always felt gross after watching it. I feel an compulsion 1 or 2 times a month to watch it at this point but feel disgusted and depressed as to me it feels like by watching it I’ll eventually be forced to having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I have some internalized issue with being straight?? But is there any question I can ask myself to figure this out?

I came out as gay to some close friends and family a little while ago after identifying as bi. I think it had to do with how I kept hearing that all bi guys are actually just gay in denial, and I read some stories about gay guys that realized during marriage and it messed up their whole life and I was afraid that would be me.

I never cared about girls sexually growing up. Boobs did nothing for me, I didn't even know what a vagina looked like until I was 13 cause I didn't bother looking it up. I never understood why boys wanted to look at playboys in movies. I only wanted to look at guys and gay stuff. And then it hit me: duh I'm gay.

But I had always crushed on girls growing up, I lost my mind over a girl last year. I was even sexually attracted to her, but only her, no other woman did anything for me. I still have that urge to make out with a girl sometimes or ask one out. After coming out as gay, I told myself all my feelings for girls were fake and due to heteronormativity. But now I don't think that's true.

Although I had some euphoria after coming out and not having to hide liking guys, I was kinda sad thinking that the years I was in love with girls were fake.

I asked some gay guys online and in real life and was like "but we've all been attracted to girls sometimes right? We've all lost our mind over one before?" And they were all like "...no. You're bi."

So now I just screwed everything up and I'm even more confused. Also since learning about the bi-cycle, I think I was more in a guys phase and now I am more interested in girls romantically but now the possibility of me being gay and other people knowing will stop me from pursuing something with a girl. I guess I should just stick with guys but sometimes I still feel a pull towards girls idk.