I’m 58 and younger guys will often reach out to me through the apps. It’s always a good chat for a while, some pictures are shared and both us seem very interested in each other. But then he’ll just stop chatting. Is it just an LA thing because I’ve never had this issue in other places, mind you, they were smaller cities. Maybe it’s a case of when the market is huge, you keep looking for the better deal. How in LA can I seal the deal?

Earlier this year, I (26) decided to delete all the apps and rely on proximity-based connections. The last 10 weeks have been a fling with an older man (57) at the gym in our apartment complex. I really like him, we’ve been intimate a few times, but I’m not certain it’ll lead anywhere.

But this experience has made me realise how rewarding it is to meet an older man the “old-fashioned way”.

I’m curious, how do younger men who don’t use apps meet older guys in metropolitan cities?

Hi!

In a previous post, I talked about getting to know this muscle couple, and one of them has actually been helping guide me through my fitness journey.
Anywho, I’ve built a really special bond with the older one. He’s 77, a former bodybuilder, and still in excellent shape. He’s a pretty well known and popular gym trainer in town. He recently asked me to top him. I’ve never successfully topped anyone before, although I’ve tried, and I’ve definitely become interested in trying it with him.

What makes it feel even more significant is that he told me he’s only been topped twice before. So I’ll admit, that puts a little pressure on me to perform and make sure it’s a good experience for him. At the same time, it makes me feel really special that he trusts me enough and feels comfortable enough with me to want that.

I really like him, trust him, and find him incredibly attractive, so I genuinely want this to work. I’m looking for advice from other bottoms-turned-tops or guys who remember their first time topping. How did you get comfortable, stay relaxed and confident, and get past the nerves when you were used to being the bottom?

If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. There’s no pressure between us, and either way, we’re going to enjoy being together. 😂 But I’d really like to give topping him a genuine shot.

So here's the situation. I'm in my early 40s and at my workplace there was a university student for the summer. While he was here we exchanged lots of eye contact, greetings, and smiles back at one another. I knew the right thing is not to pursue anything with a coworker especially given that there is big age gap. Now he's gone. We never really went beyond what I mentioned above, so never really got to know one another or anything. Would it make sense to connect on LinkedIn now and just tell him how I found him attractive and leave it at that. I know how it goes... Eye contact can mean all kinds of things, but I honestly don't recall having a guy be consistently friendly (smiling, etc) over an extended period of exchanging eye contact... If that makes sense lol.

 I was 19 years old then (I am 47 now). I had mainly experience with women, but I was secretly watching a lot of gay porn. I had a roommate, and nooo, he is not the one I want to talk about here. Around that time, I started chatting online with older guys, and I became very close with one. We talked almost every day for a few months after I finished my job. He was married, around 40, and cute—not handsome, not fit—and it felt really nice to know an older man seemed attracted to me. Anyway, after a while, I started wanting to meet him, but I wanted to do it at my place because I wanted to feel comfortable in a controlled environment. I didn't want to go to a hotel or meet in a car. It was going to be my first time, and I was stressed as fuck but also so excited. At first, I wanted to go to his place, but he had a family, and I was sure he wouldn't accept that. The problem was that my roommate had just lost his job and was home all day, so I was stuck sending nudes to this guy and wanking in secret. But after a few weeks, my roommate did find a job, and cherry on the cake, his car broke down, so I proposed to drive him for a few days to his work until he managed with his colleague, and so for a few days I had the house to myself, with total control over the fact that he would not show up unannounced. The window was small, so I had to move.

As soon as I got back from taking my roommate to work, I contacted him and told him he could stop by today, at the beginning of the afternoon. It would give me the time to shower, shave, and clean the house. Of course, I did all that in an hour, so I spent the rest of the time waiting, getting more and more anxious. A lot of doubts: maybe I should cancel, maybe I should invent an excuse, etc., etc. I was ready to send a message when the door rang. It was him, with 2 hours ahead on the schedule. My heart stopped. He was smaller than I expected and smelled of cheap aftershave; he wore a short-sleeved pale yellow shirt, a blue tie, blue jeans, and leather shoes. Honestly, the bad aftershave and the clothes turned me on. He was in his 40s and had his wedding ring. It is funny how we remember details. He knew I had zero experience and obviously noticed how nervous I was.

I offered him a drink, but he said he would prefer me to suck his cock. When he was saying that, he was taking his dick out. It was still soft. I went on my knees and remembered how his cock felt when I touched it. We are so used to touching our own, and it is so weird to touch another man's privates. I put his cock head in my mouth, and I felt it growing hard. I loved it so much, and I still enjoy it. His cock was quite average in size, not straight, with a big cock head. I thought it was a good size for the first one. I kept sucking him for a few minutes. I was very hard, very excited, and my heart was beating fast. he told me he wanted to go to my room, so we went; he undressed me and touched me. That was good. Then he lay down on the bed and made me sit on him. His cock was between my cheeks. He brought lube and started to put it on my hole and then finger me. I did not resist; it felt great. So great that I ended up cumming on his belly. I was so ashamed and said sorry so many times. He was very gentle, smiled, and asked me if I wanted him to fuck me. And I said yes, because he had a ok size dick; he asked me to put a condom on his cock, he fuck me very slowly and very gently, and I still remember the feeling when he came. He left; I stayed here, on the bed. Somehow with mixed feelings, happy to have done it and disappointed it was already finished.

So im a young bottom myself and im definitely more into guys 30+.
But i would like to know your reasons for that.

I swear this is the last part! Sorry for the long posts..

Ah I stopped at the spot when an older guy was touching my nipples at the 3rd or 4th floor of the gay sauna.

For the context I'm 27 and a Brown guy from Sri Lanka and he was 70 and White and from another part of Belgium visiting Brussels..

About the nipples tho, to be honest I feel like I'm not really sensitive there but anyways I let him touch my nipples, and slowly my chest and stomach and slowly over the towel into my dick. And I was already hard at that point haha. He wanted us to go inside a private room and I said not yet, ;) I wanted to explore more and chat more haha

Anyway we went up the stairs and checked out the other empty rooms like BDSM rooms and swing rooms. We had a good chat there, a fun chat tbh a good bonding. So after a few minutes we went back to the glory hole theater.

There we lie down together at the back, on the mats. We had our hands on shoulders and then the other hands over our towels rubbing dicks, we took off the towels soon. A few min in to the porn we we were touching each others dicks. His was white and thick and short and mine was Dark and thin and long. Such a difference!!!!. Anyhow after a few minutes rubbing each others dicks we saw the guy at the front looking at us and masterbating. Somehow it felt a bit off but also the porn finished. So we moved to a private room in the upper floor.

We went in, it was a small room only with a huge mattress and a mirror on the ceiling. There were huge lube and condoms dispensers. Anyway we lie down on the mattress and when we looked up we saw us. An older white guy and a thin brown guy. I could tell by his looks he loved my body. I let him lick my neck and nipples chest and finally my dick which was already wet with precum 🤤 he loved that. When I wanted to touch him he said he wanted to enjoy my body more. We spend a more time together like that.

He and I both were sides, so after a few minutes of enjoying our bodies we started frotting...which obviously didn't last long...we were covered in a mix of our cum.

After a few minutes we went out of the room, he dragged me to the pissing room and we started doing it. Even though I didn't like it, he was very much into it as it seemed. He was holding my dick when I was peeing. Anyway I wanted to escape. It was already too much for me in my first ever gay sauna and also my post nut clarity was kicking in. And I bid him goodbye had a shower and went out...

That's it.. I wanted to share this experience because I was the curious shy guy before and I took a step forward haha. This seems silly but I hope you liked my experience...

I’ve been meeting a 58 year old guy for 2 weeks. I’m 30.
We met online and initially it was just a meet, and I went round to his for some fun. He then asked me round 3 days later.
Now, we’ve met 5 times.

Back story on this man. He’s married but separated from his wife and has his own place. They apparently still get on very well as are business partners and do things together as friends and he goes round to see his children frequently.
He also told me he has a male a partner, and they’re both completely open with each other. Both these guys are closeted, no one supposedly knows about their sexuality.

He has been very clear that he doesn’t want anything serious with me, and I accept that. This is just a meet and some fun. But it’s now developed.

We’ve now seen each other five times. The first time was mostly sexual, but the most recent time I spent pretty much the whole day with him. We went for lunch, he paid, and then we went back to his and literally just sat on the sofa talking for ages. He repeatedly said how incredibly easy I am to be around and that he really enjoys spending time with me. We message on and off, but he’s told me he finds he just wants to message me all the time and says our friendship is becoming a bit dangerous. I have to admit, feelings are brewing for me. But I’m single, and with someone telling me this stuff, it means I can brew feelings, which is dangerous.

He keeps telling me we need to talk, and then we do and he tells me he wants nothing serious, he’s finding his feet. He then says this other guy is only kind of a partner, someone he spends a lot of time with and who stays at his house… frequently.
But he then will tell me he likes spending time with me and, most recently, he told me he wished id have stayed round his house. I told him I thought he had been busy, with his partner, and he told me he wished I’d been there instead of him.

I think next time I see him, I’m thinking of talking to him properly, again. I’m unsure about his supposed partner. Is he a partner? Or a friend with benefits? But then… he stays round.
I also think I’ll speak to him about our connection, and say perhaps he’s just finding he can have connection with men, I’m not that special, perhaps he’s new to it all and it’s all discovery… I just doubt I can be that special.

I’m not sure what I’m wanting from this post. I guess I’m just trying to vent it out a bit, or see what similar experiences some people have had or if I’m approaching this right. Sometimes I think hes not giving me the full story. With his partner, wife, etc. but I do think the wife stuff is honest. He says she’s suspicious of his sexuality, but it’s all fine. But this partner, I wonder what the full story is.

Continued from part 3..

So I went up, hang my towel and took a warm shower out in public and there were many other people doing the same.

My first stop was at the darker steam room!!! When I went in there were already a few people inside and I could only see the silhouettes with the red lights and steam!! I took my towel off and sat down beside an older guy. As I am brown and dark in complexion he might have not seen my semi hard dick haha. I sat down on the towel to enjoy the steam.

A few minutes in people went to the back of the steam room and I followed. Two guys around my age were kissing and fucking in the middle. And everyone around were watching the scene and rubbing the dicks!!!! It was very sexy to watch and to see all those cocks. There were around 10-12 men watching the scene and masterbating and I found a corner and did the same 🤤

Anyway that didn't last long, after he came the scene died down and they went outside for a shower and I still hard spent a few more minutes and came out for a nude shower. There was porn all around and few people were swimming too.

I wanted to check the upper levels out of curiosity and I saw many private rooms, group rooms, BDSM chambers, swings, mattresses and sadly most were empty except for the glory hole room which was also a big theatre with cushions and porn. The upper most level was just a gym and I saw a few young guys working out nude, but that wasn't my interest haha.

I was at the door of the glory hole theatre and I was blocking the way in (my fault) and an older guy tapped me and smiled, he too was discovering the building. Anyways I asked him if there's something in the upper floors and he said he's not sure, for some good reason I followed him up again. It was fairly quiet in the upper floors and we had a chat while exploring the empty rooms. Somewhere around a corner we had a good chat which ended up him touching my nipples.

For those of you who don't know, the consent is Yes in a sauna unless you explicitly say No. ;) and I went ahead with him touching my nipples

Damn this post is already too long. I'll tell the next part in the next post

Well sorry I missed posting this after parts 1 and 2,

Just a quick recap about those : I met a very sexy receptionist at a gay sex toy shop and I got touched by an older guy in a gay bar....(and he probably came while touching my nipples - in public haha)

Soo after that incident in the bar I finished my beer and went ahead to check out other sex toy shops and people watching. I was quite hard and turned on by what happened at the gay bar. I knew there was a gay sauna in the gay district but never I planned to go in. But something in my mind said go for it, and I did ;)

The name was "Macho Sauna“ and when I searched about it on Google, there were so many good reviews. So I went there and the receptionist was very nice!!! I told him it's my first time and I'm curious and he said he'll give a guide when I enter. Surprisingly it was a Thursday and instead of the normal rate it was €19 and fairy cheap as well. Haha how the odds were in my favour!!!!!

I said to myself fuck it and I paid and entered through the side door. The nice receptionist told me everything about the sauna, the levels of the building, lockers, towels, safety etc. And I felt very confident to go in.

I went to the lockers and saw there was quite a lot of nude older men who were either going in or out. I undressed myself and wrapped the towel up at the lockers. That's when I saw the towel was so small haha. My dick was totally out. And I was the only one wearing a towel at the lockers area 😂 Probably anyone could see I was a first timer!!!!! Anyways I went up the stairs and took a quick shower and went in.

This post is getting long I'll post the next part soon...

30 yo M. Have mostly been attracted to older men.

However met a younger guy 5 months ago (29 yo). We connected really well. He’s more like an older guy in the relationship (mature, caring and loving). Physically taller and bigger than me.

I decided to give it some time. And have realized I deeply adore him. It’s been 5 months. But we meet every day. Plan things. Support each other.

Problem is: I periodically have the urge to hookup/flirt with older men. After some reflection, I’ve realized it’s me seeking a superficial sense of validation. And the emotional satisfaction of being with someone older with more wisdom/life experience.

I feel I’m breaking his trust should he find out I have such thoughts. Would appreciate any advice on how to navigate these feelings/urges.

My partner (67) and I (32) have been together 10 years. He was always a top who loves the tactile side of sex as well (loves cuddling and kissing) but being a top is very important to him and really the only way he gets off. I was more vers (tendency to bottom) when we met but particularly loved side fun.

As I've got older and more aware of myself, I've become more and more interested in topping and less interested in bottoming. The desire for non-anal fun still very much there but also not fulfilled. This has been incredibly frustrating and despite many conversations has not really seen any meaningful changes to the point now that sex is very rare.

Looking for advice from people who have experienced changes in sexual desires during a relationship particularly when those changes have led to sexual incompatibility. Is there any hope in these situations? I know I've changed a lot in this last decade

I don't really have anyone close to talk to about this and certainly no one close with experience of gay male relationships or age-gap relationships. Hence, the burner account and a post into the Reddit void!

Last night was first time I ever had a guy eat my ass, im 47 and he was 23. I was at a resort in pigeon forge, anwe started talking at the pool and led to what each of us has tried, we agreed to go back to my room and fool around, he put me on my side and pushed my leg up and started kissing ass cheeks, before I knew it his tongue was all in my asshole, I loved it!!!

I have question for the older guys here

What are some instant green flags you notice in a younger guy when you are dating or getting to know someone?

Like, what makes you think “aww, this young guy...." or makes you instantly more interested in him?I never really dated before and Im just starting to put myself out there, so very curious what older guys appreciate or find especially attractive in younger men :)

Finding younger guys to begin with, is not a walk in the park. But it is possible. If you are interested in younger bottoms.

Me however, I’m bottom guy myself. So, finding tops twinks, or just younger tops in general, is a tall order.

What strikes me, though, is that finding younger slim guys for side play is even harder. If no one wants to fuck me, the second best thing is to jerk off together.

My theory is this: jerking off together is an act on very equal conditions. The age play is almost non existent, and thus, it’s probably mostly attracting guys who don’t appreciate age differences in the first place.

I’ve tried almost all the usual suggestions of Reddit, grinder, silverdaddies, scruff,fetlife and even tinder

Struggling to find older men who aren’t flakey and interested in something ongoing with a younger femboy

18 year old closeted guy looking at casual encounters on Craigslist.. when that was a thing. I think of my self as good looking man and started to message with a guy who was looking to suck.. I was extremely closeted back then so I was into the whole no one will know expect. I started messaging back and found out he was in his 60s and wanted to worship me... I obviously didn't know what that all entailed but went along with it and ended up agreeing to meet in a big lots parking lot after they closed and see if it was a vibe. I pulled up and saw him and he was definitely old looking with a beer gut which is normal for that age. I got out of my car and went into his passenger seat and he talked me up so much but all honesty I wasn't really into him. But being closeted and horny I allowed him to touch my dick and kiss on my neck.. he eventually asks if I'd follow him back to his place which wasn't far. I agreed and the whole way thinking about just leaving but it was one of my first times with a grown man so I committed. I pulled in after him and went in and the house,which was weird.. he had a lot of cat figurines and flower patterns everywhere and was very turned off. But the way he was so into me I continued to go with it bc I've never had it before. We went to his room and asked me to take off my clothes, which I did and he just went in. I closed my eyes and got into it too.. I just kept thinking that I'm giving him this experience, which I wasn't really into but was a hard horny teenager and allowing it, was something he's going to hold onto and that got me close.. I told him I was about to cum and. He just kept his mouth. On my dick and went deeper. I cam and i dont think he let a drop out. I kinda silently put my clothes back on, said thanks, and walked out to my car. That was 15 years ago and obviously had no contact after. Being craigslist and all. But i think of it now as a service this this old man and laugh about it now

Top how do you feel when you see a great ass and want to fuck that? Have you had a great ass bottom as hook up? Was it a surprise or did you know?

I am going on cruise with my much younger boyfriend, we are together over a year. This is a first gay cruise for both of us . We are in a closed. Since we don’t really know what to expect, we have been discussing “free play time “ on the cruise . Whatever happens we don’t discuss and when we leave the boat it is with no connections with the people we may “met”
Obviously, we need a lot of communication and to establish ground rules. Any advice?

So im 22 bottom and i want to hookup with 30+ tops on dating apps.
My question for you is what should be in my profile to attract them?

Which pictures?
Which texts?

And how should i go about messaging them?
What do u want to hear from me?

Maybe also relevant i want to attract more romantic tops not the crazy sex addicted gross ones.

I am a white gay man (57) who was married to a woman for over 10 years and have four grown children. I came out when I was 43 (that was an excruciating process to be sure but I’m glad I did it). I’ve dated men, been ghosted more times that I care to admit, met a younger man and dated. We moved in together, got married, and quickly the relationship fell apart. We’ve been separated about 18 months now and pretty sure divorce is next.

I have been very ambivalent throughout this separation process. Wanting to be close, but feeling rejected and hurt, but wanting to be close. Having moments where I think things can be repaired and then falling into despair, realizing my relationship is beyond over.

I think what has really struck me the most this past week is how much I miss the physicalness of being with someone. Cuddling in bed or on the couch, hugging in the kitchen while cooking, the random touch to the shoulder as one walks by or just laying naked in bed talking about whatever. I’m surprised at how much I miss it to be honest.

I’m not going to fall into the rabbit hole of “I’ll never find anyone ever again” although it took me 12 years to find this one so if that pattern holds, it will be a while.

Anyway, I’m curious about your experience. Regardless of age, we all experience loss. Wondering what you experienced and what you did to get through the feelings of loss.  

I love the mentorship, the difference in life experience, and the different ways of thinking and values. I enjoy the energy we both bring, and somehow, I like that our romance is seen as so grotesque by society in general. I also love being groomed, desired, and admired for my youthful body and personality.

Was there a moment where you realized that an intergenerational relationship was the perfect match for you? Maybe in an everyday situation or during a date?

I need to vent. This is going to take a while. Sorry guys.

I have lost and abandoned all hope. Here’s my story.

I was born in 1977, so I’m 49 years old now. I was born in Germany where I spent most of my life. I realized I might be gay when I was about 15, and came out to myself at 17. Remained in the closet (except for parties when I would get so drunk I’d admit to being “bi”) until I moved out at 22 and started college. I made great friends and came out really early. They didn’t mind, they accepted me for who I was.

However, in all these years, there was just one person who hated who I was – and that was me. Whenever I looked in the mirror (and believe me, I literally tried not to), I saw nothing about me that I liked. I have always been overweight (sometimes more than normal, sometimes A LOT more than normal) and tried dieting, but to no avail. Think of me as Santa, but without the jolly nature.

Apart from my appearance, which I’m sure put off a lot of guys, I was a smart guy. Hey, I can talk to you about a variety of topics in two different foreign languages (three, when I’m drunk). I gave my straight friends dating advice. GOOD dating advice. One of my friends' love interests later said to me: “M. (my friend) told me what you said about him and me… I’ve never felt so understood by a man.”

So yeah, I guess my advice was great.

But for me and myself? Nothing. I was always the bystander. The watcher. The onlooker. Whenever I tried to talk to a hot guy (and yeah, to make things even more complicated, I am solely into twinks), I turned into a mumbling idiot, because in the instant that I addressed them I realized they would never be interested in me.

True story: I actually got a guy’s phone number, and we texted (early 2000s). At some point I gave him my address, and we watched a movie at my place (nothing else happened). A few days later, he laid upon me the truth: He had a crush on a different guy who happened to live in the same house as me (I swear on my mother’s grave, I’m not making this shit up) and asked me if I could tell him whether his car was parked in his parking spot or not because he was hoping to meet up with him. I declined to be pulled into those games. That was the last time I heard of him.

Here’s another true story. For my studies I had a chance to live in Paris, France, for seven months. Keep in mind that this was in 2006/7, long before smartphones and Grindr were invented. So one night, I’m going out in the gay scene in the Marais with some friends I had made there. We enter a bar, order a beer and, as usual, I scan the room for hot guys. On the other side of the room, I spot two guys, one of them really cute, totally my type, in a gray striped hoodie. My friends and I talk and drink our beers. A few minutes later, the gray hoodie and his friend suddenly stand next to us. Turns out the gray hoodie really liked my one friend who was in a relationship at the time. So when he realized my friend was committed, he became really, really sad. His friend explained to us that gray hoodie was sad because all the guys he liked were taken. His friend then began to make out with my other friend, the third guy in our group. So picture this: these two guys making out; one sitting in front of us devastated, my other friend feeling uncomfortable for making him feel that way and then … me, ironically both in the middle of all of this and yet on the outside at the same time. Invisible. Insignificant. Irrelevant.

I remember this scene so very clearly because I have replayed it in my mind over and over again in the last 20 years. And I remember standing in the middle and thinking: “… and what about me? Hello? Anyone?”

So why am I posting all this crap in this group? Because in the last years I realized that I really am a daddy – a shoulder to cry on, a mentor, a supporter. Not financially, though. I could never pay anyone to spend time with me. After all, it would only have felt like paying damages or compensation.

So I took to my dating apps (Grindr, Romeo, Daddyhunt,…) and presented myself as a daddy. The results were soul crushing.

Aside from being ignored, ghosted, and blocked, I was ridiculed and even insulted for who I was (old, fat) and for who I was looking for (young, skinny). I was fooled by minors pretending to be of age, and tricked by scammers and fakers pretending to be real. I once flew from Germany out to Edinburgh, only to discover upon arrival that the number and email I had been corresponding with were no longer active. Talk about standing in the shower of a cheap hotel room and washing away the tears with the water and feeling absolutely worthless and stupid for falling for this.

So after some twenty years on Romeo, ten years on Grindr and six months on Daddyhunt (with a combined body count of 3), I have now deleted all of them. I felt like I was suffocating. I needed to get out of this vicious circle of … of keeping up the hope that maybe this time there might be “the one”. Or anyone.

It felt like I was losing a dear old friend, a constant in my life – the opportunity to look at cute guys’ profiles and knowing they’d never be interested in a guy like me.

In short, I’ve given up. I need to talk to my therapist to get me a lifetime supply of Ritalin, Fukitol and what not. I don’t want to feel anymore, I just want to function, preferably for the rest of my… “life”.

In the meantime, I enjoy reading all your testimonies, stories, questions and posts. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives for one fleeting moment.

Llama out.

I dont know what website I should look at and I have been hungry for me to get dominated, so if someone can help please reach out.