r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod • Jul 06 '26
FML Accepted a job that wasn’t offered. Mortified.
Interviewed for a job last week. It’s exactly what I want to do, near where I live, and would be a massive pay increase.
I’m a recent grad so I don’t have much experience with “real” job interviews, which comes into play here. The interview went really well - she seemed really impressed with my resume, said she could do the top of my salary request, talked extensively about how she wanted me to start ASAP. I offered to ask my job if I could leave early and let her know (my contract is nearly up and they’ve got another person lined up for after me, so I thought they might not need the typical 2 weeks). At the end, she asked me if I wanted a few days “to think about it.” I assumed this was an offer, which I sent an email accepting a few days ago. Told my whole family about the awesome job I’d secured.
A few days pass and they email me that they are still reviewing applications and conducting interviews. How embarrassing - my face is on fire. The embarrassment is so strong that I honestly feel a little sick. Now I know to wait for the offer in writing so that there are no misunderstandings. Or maybe I’ll just go live in the woods and never interview again.
Oh and to top the day off, my dentist told me I need to avoid “crunchy, sticky, or chewy” foods because I think I have TMD. Combined with my anti inflammatory food limitations, that’s just….everything. She suggested steamed vegetables.
McDonald’s cheeseburgers, fries, and nuggets because today sucked and I might as well feel shitty too.
4.0k
u/mamachonk white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 06 '26
Recruiter of 20 years here... that sounds quite confusing. Nothing for you to be embarrassed about!
1.2k
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 06 '26
God hearing that it wasn’t normal from a recruiter really means a lot. 🥹 I just felt like such a dolt but maybe I’m just unlucky lol
750
u/mamachonk white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 06 '26
She could just not be a great communicator, or maybe she thought she had the green light and the Hiring Manager told her to hold up. Ya never know!
Good luck! And if they don't come through with a written offer, you frankly dodged a bullet.
177
u/bayou_class Chaotic But Cute Jul 07 '26
Yesss it sounds like an internal candidate or something has to be cleared before they can close out the req. Or that’s me trying to sound like my smart friend who is a badass recruiter lol.
→ More replies (2)2
250
Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
68
u/Southern-Drop5139 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
this.
i would have taken it a step further, if team members were CCd, and very politely apologize for misunderstanding her “verbal offer” — just to make it clear to the hiring team there was obviously some unclear communication during our chat.
but NOTHING is ever official until you’ve received a formal contract or letter of invitation and it’s been signed sealed delivered on your end. i’m sometimes superstitious and won’t tell a soul about an offer until the paper work comes in.
→ More replies (6)21
u/abulous76 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Completely agree! The company needs to know that there was unclear communication and get on the same page as the recruiter. I agree that it sounds like she was making a verbal offer!
31
u/blarggga Snack Goblin Jul 07 '26
I once had a job offer ready to go for a great candidate and was five minutes away from calling them to let them know the good news. HR knew and still waited until THEN to tell me that the position was cut from the budget. As a hiring manager it was incredibly frustrating because a) I spent a lot of time finding the right person for this role b) the candidate was great and c) it reflected more about the company than myself or the candidate. A year later the company laid me off and at that point, staff morale was terrible and layoffs were a regular quarterly occurrence. I wonder why!!!!!!
→ More replies (2)3
u/No_Kangaroo_5883 APPROVED✨ Jul 09 '26
And you’ve passed the background check and drug screen (if applicable).
→ More replies (2)20
u/Western-Remove-6737 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
some recruiters aren't the best at their jobs and can make you feel insecure because some can be a little bit... disorganized. I think you should go with the feeling you got about the interview and trust your gut. If you think it went well roll with that and think positively.
16
u/Sea-Channel5412 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
I’d have totally thought that was an offer. Interviewer should be embarrassed- not you.
→ More replies (22)7
u/Sigmund_Six APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Yeah, it truly sounds like the interviewer wasn’t being clear. Some people are better interviewers than others. Or maybe she thought she had the ability to offer up the job when she didn’t.
Either way, this honestly didn’t sound normal. I can understand why you thought it was an offer, OP.
→ More replies (23)36
u/cheercharlatan Femininom(nomnomnom)enon Jul 07 '26
Yeah, I’ve been working in various fields for going on 25 years and if someone asked me if I needed a few days to think about it I would’ve thought it was a job offer, too.
The interviewer is the one who should feel awkward and embarrassed here. Who does that?
3.0k
u/candoitmyself Cookie Monster 🍪 Jul 06 '26
Hey!! Don’t sweat it. By your account the interviewer offered you the job. I would be confused too and I have decades of interview experience.
757
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 06 '26
Thanks this helps. I feel like a total idiot but maybe it would have confused more people than just me. I still don’t know what she wanted me to consider over a few days 😭
389
Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
27
Jul 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (2)4
4
u/riverrat918 Urban Hunter Gatherer Jul 07 '26
Lol there have been a couple jobs where I/they made the joke cos I had basically started doing work while at the place.
→ More replies (2)35
u/TheCaliforniaOp APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
It seems like the recruiter was placed in an odd situation, too, not that I can suss it out exactly…if you ever need to know you aren’t alone in this feeling at this moment, head on over to r/Acting
or r/FilmIndustryLA because the entertainment industry has infinite ways to tell hopeful people “Gosh we here are all so excited about the excellent audition you gave and we are so happy that you are so perfect for the character, we look forward to working with you on another occasion but we went in another
direction” and that’s brutal when people are used to “You’ll be hearing from us” - meaning no.Some people are just trying to be nice and keep your hopes up. Some people are constrained by their higher ups. Some people are capable of refined cruelty.
Ultimately, the job is yours that’s out there. All you can do is to keep going out there with the best preparation and foreknowledge you have at the moment with confidence in yourself. ♥️🍀
31
u/vegetablefoood Trader Joe Hoe Jul 07 '26
If they made you believe you had an offer that’s on them!! They should be embarrassed not you!
→ More replies (2)19
u/SuitGroundbreaking49 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 07 '26
I used to do hiring at a prior job and I would have assumed this was a verbal offer as well, if that makes you feel any better.
Very very odd interaction (by their recruiter). I have never offered direct salary information in that way (I have asked expectations and stated the salary range of course), or said I wanted someone to start ASAP in the interview.
10
7
u/Madethisonambien APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
It sounds like she gave you a verbal offer and maybe something went wrong internally or she didn’t get the approval she needed from someone above her. You really should not beat yourself up over this 🖤
→ More replies (11)10
Jul 07 '26
Don’t feel like an idiot. I would have done the same. That sure sounds like an offer. The interviewing process is so convoluted some places. Go to any job seeking subreddit and see how many people are complaining about having a fifth round interview or some other crazy thing like that.
71
u/brainvheart143 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 07 '26
Same. This is tacky what they’re doing OP. You prob dodged a bullet.
75
u/FrogOnALogInTheBog 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 06 '26
It really depends. “We want you to start right away!” Is a world/ apart from “we would have you start right away.”
106
u/brainvheart143 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 07 '26
Yes true but asking also if you want a few days to think about it… on top of the other thing, that’s perplexing if it’s not a verbal confirmation
57
u/OldButHappy Resident Yapper Jul 07 '26
Exactly!! Without a job offer, there is nothing to think about!!!
I’m with OP.
32
u/Rubycon_ APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Right they clearly made an offer and then backpeddled. Probably found someone with more experience right afterward and gaslit her.
13
u/SwiftLikeTaylorSwift 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 07 '26
Yeah, you really have to make sure there’s no room for misinterpretation.
I’ve always phrased it “so if the role ends up being yours, we’d love for you to start as soon as possible. Do you have a date in mind that you’d be able to start in that instance?” And always end it with how long you intend to interview candidates and when that candidate can expect to hear from you. “We should be able to let you know by Friday whether the job is yours or not” or something of that effect.OP really sounds like they got offered the job I’d be as baffled as they are
16
12
u/Fishwhocantswim APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
U know sometimes I feel like the interviewers have very little to do with the selection process themselves. I had one interview where they even said 'HR will get in touch sometime next week to start to get you onboard' and then 2 weeks later the same person who said that gives me a courtesy call to say I didn't get the job. Maybe they pass the cv's over to HR and then they vet it after the interview and go nope nope and nope regardless of whether they met the actual person and spoke to them. Makes it pointless to have an interview in the first place.
4
u/SuitGroundbreaking49 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 07 '26
It would be very out of the ordinary to do this and not at all efficient. Everywhere I’ve worked the recruitment specialists on the HR team vet resumes first to save managers time, pass along the good ones and maybes, and from there interviews are scheduled.
I have seen some wildly dumb and inefficient practices at companies though so not impossible 😂
→ More replies (13)16
675
u/Ready-Read3918 Oversharer 🗣 Jul 06 '26
Talking about you starting ASAP and asking if you wanted a few days to think about it.. lowkey is a job offer. This is 10000% on the company and not on you. THEY should be embarrassed, not you.
→ More replies (2)180
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
That’s what my sister keeps telling me but boy howdy, it’s hard to accept. My face was legit burning so bad I felt like a cartoon
45
u/hungryepiphyte mouth full, gesturing wildly Jul 07 '26
1000% they are at fault. You are a rockstar.
7
→ More replies (16)7
u/hungaryforchile Milked An Almond Once Jul 07 '26
Genuinely sounds like they screwed up, and since nothing was in writing, she realized she could cover her bum by pulling a “UUUUHHH nooooo you ASSUMED I said that! I said…..uhhh…..NOT THAT! We’re ummm, STILL INTERVIEWING, so—YEAH. Sorry YOU misunderstood!!” move there at the end.
Probably got a stern talking to from her superior about not seeming “over eager” to hire someone, because it puts them on a bad spot for negotiating.
Especially if you’re a new grad and they were offering on the higher end of the salary range…..it’s honestly giving “interviewer is really new to this and screwed up and got the Big Boss mad, now has to cover herself” vibes.
I’ve been working for 15 years, and I’d also be pretty confident I’d landed the gig because I’d find the wording she used confusing!
754
u/Aggravating_Try6537 APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
Sounds like they did offer you the job and then took it back. They are the unprofessional ones. I've seen some very young people doing the recruiting, esp. in IT, and they are inexperienced. Sorry you went through this.
→ More replies (2)97
u/exhausted247365 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26 edited 25d ago
Marble raindrop yarn orange cobblestone vanilla juniper quilt
This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
→ More replies (3)
145
u/Givemethecupcakes Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 06 '26
I feel like they gave you the impression that they were offering you the job.
Usually if they are still interviewing they would end with giving you a timeline of when you might hear back, not ask if you need time to think about it.
63
u/JackieBouvier APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
When I was a recent grad, I went on an interview, the woman walked me to the elevator, shook my hand, said "Welcome aboard" and...I never heard from them again.
Some WEIRD things happen in job interviews. I have total confidence in you that you will end up exactly where you are meant to be!
42
15
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Wow that’s crazy. I would be even more confused than I am now! Hope you love where you ended up 💞
6
u/DrDonuts 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 07 '26
As someone who has seen the company that I work for backpedal clear offers, it’s because the executive is disorganized. And our highest boss is indecisive and all-around a terrible person who doesn’t care that people who are looking for a job are usually in need of one. Maybe it’s just my bad experiences at my current workplace but jerking around applicants who are in need of a new job is a major a red flag to me.
32
u/copypop Noods 🍜 > Dudes 🤡 Jul 06 '26
Hey so, uhhhh... if you figure out how to make that whole "just go live in the woods" plan work out, hit me up. I'll come join you 😮💨
16
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
I’ll keep you updated. We can be woodland gals together. I’ll weave you a outfit
4
u/Inner-Shelter-8593 🦇 Fruit Bat Baddie 🍊 Jul 07 '26
Me tooooo
9
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Ok so two woodland gals and a woodland fruit bat. Your outfit will be easy (on account of the size needed for a bat) but chique
6
u/lunarlandscapes what that mouth do is gossip Jul 07 '26
Make it three! Not sure if chronic pain is going to let me go back to work
13
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
The woodlands will cure you. The woodlands will cure us all.
This is totally a joke, in case that wasn’t clear. Chronic pain is real and debilitating and I hope you get whatever you need to feel your best.
57
u/PickledPanacea APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
I wouldn’t be too embarassed. It honestly sounds like they may have just found another potential that wants a lower salary in the few days you waited. While it was likely going to be an offer, not getting it in writing gave them that wiggle room to reconsider.
Best of luck on your next opportunity girl, sometimes missed doors are opportunities in disguise. 🥰
→ More replies (2)
22
u/Mamobee Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 06 '26
To be totally fair I would also think that was a job offer!
16
u/atotalmess__ Chocoholic Jul 06 '26
I don’t think you were the on who screwed up, your interviewer did.
16
u/Effective_Duck_2181 FREE MOM HUGS Jul 06 '26
My cousin had this happen too, he put his two weeks notice in at his old job. The two weeks came and went, and he never heard back from the other job he thought he was getting. But his interviewer even told him. He had the job. The job market is weird right now. Luckily he was able to find something else pretty quickly.
But just make sure you have everything in writing, signed and ready to go in the future before you put your life on it. And as someone else stated, don't burn bridges. Just move on, it looks better on you than them.
7
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Omg that’s awful for your cousin - and a lesson I’m happy to learn second hand. The job market is very weird rn. I’ve got a month to find a job before I’m screwed so 😅🤞
14
u/Alarmed_Guarantee140 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
If it’s not an offer, what else could you possibly need a few days to think about? I think she made you an offer either without approval, or someone higher up changed their minds on hiring you for that position.
6
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Yeah I guess they wanted me to think over the NOTHING they had offered. Foolish of me to not realize that lmfao
3
u/Alarmed_Guarantee140 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
It’s bonkers, I am so sorry. Please do not feel embarrassed, I cannot imagine doing anything different myself.
11
u/lazulioli Overthinker 💭 Jul 06 '26
I still feel intensely embarrassed when I randomly remember my botched salary negotiation for my first professional job. This stuff is hard!! You got clear signals from the interviewer. She was almost certainly not allowed to offer you the job on the spot and is probably (hopefully) embarrassed herself at how she messed up. Yes, in the future wait for the written offer, but moreso because you want to be sure all the terms are correct in writing.
7
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Good advice that I will take to heart. Unfortunately she runs the whole shebang, so I know she had the authority. She might just have been super awkward and accidentally misfired signals. Or maybe she found someone better. Who’s to say lol
8
u/BoujeeGothBB Trader Joe Hoe Jul 06 '26
You might have gotten it! My interview went the same way and they told me they would be giving me a call back after they wrap interviews. Maybe they are hiring more than one person or maybe they scheduled them already and were doing it out of courtesy? I started mine after they did more interviews.
Anyways, congrats or good luck?! Enjoy the burg
→ More replies (4)
9
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 06 '26
Don’t know how to edit, but the support from this community has been mind blowing. I’m honestly close to tears hearing that it would’ve confused many of you too, including people who are experienced with interviews on both sides. I was feeling very low today and was in a very bad place but knowing that people took time out of their day to support/help me is extremely touching. I appreciate all of you very much and no matter what happens with this job, I’ll keep going until I love where I end up. Thank you all 💞💞
→ More replies (1)
6
u/GlassApprehensive620 APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You should be proud of yourself with how the interview went. Understandable you would feel modified, but don’t. HR sees everything and they have prob heard way worse than what you did.
If the job is meant to be, it will be! If not, it was never meant to be in the first place. Be proud of yourself for at least trying and give yourself some grace.
7
u/Icy-Yellow3514 what that mouth do is snack Jul 06 '26
Been in the workforce for 25+ years. I would absolutely interpret this as a job offer.
There's a fun Seinfeld episode about this if you want a laugh out of it. Kind of two episodes, actually.
3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 06 '26
You don’t have the number or names do you? I’d actually really like that. Need a good laugh lol
2
u/Icy-Yellow3514 what that mouth do is snack Jul 07 '26
For sure! They're both excellent episodes, even beyond these storylines.
The Barber The Bizzaro Jerry
Wishing you good vibes and lots of luck! 💕
11
u/dogs-in-space Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 06 '26
Yes, you’re a new grad so not used to the world of interviewing, but I hope you know this is highly abnormal and is not on you. I’m furious for you.
There certainly are times when interviewers give away things like “You would be ____” instead of “The candidate would be _____” but that is often subtle and even then not the same as what you just went through.
Over the years I’ve learned to not quit or make changes to my life without that offer in writing. Not because I ever got burned like you did but I hear stories.
This is NOT OK.
Even if they come back and say that now they want you, I’d seriously consider if you want them. Remember, you interview them as much as they interview you. I know it is hard as a new grad and maybe you’ll take whatever just to get the experience but know they don’t deserve you.
One last thing - I have also learned over the years to not burn bridges. So while you may want to give them your honest thoughts (and I’m sure others may say to name and shame), I’d caution you against it even if it would feel therapeutic.
2
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Thank you this makes a lot of sense. It’s given me a lot to think about.
2
u/psycho_freak444 APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
Nooooo that is confusing af lol. Don’t worry. Have they gotten back to you at all with an update?
3
5
u/Tall_Preparation_571 Assigned Hungry At Birth Jul 06 '26
I have lots of interviewing experience as a former hiring manager and she was definitely giving you job offer vibes! Do not be embarrassed!
3
u/Dense_Title1321 FREE MOM HUGS Jul 07 '26
Hey, I once showed up to work for my first day of a job I DID NOT GET. I brought donuts. God that was embarrassing. Then I cried in front of everyone. I was 35 years old.
4
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
I would have cried too, holy shit. I nearly did today, and at least my situation had the distance of email. And you were nice enough to bring donuts. I hope none of them got any and you had dessert for a week.
4
u/Efficient-Roof5433 Feral Til Fed Jul 07 '26
hey op, longtime lurker here commenting for the first time to say, have you ever been diagnosed with adhd? i know this is an INSANE overreach and gonna sound like an armchair diagnosis, but as a woman who lives with crippling adhd, i'd at least read about rejection sensitive dysphoria and its symptoms. obviously we all feel rejection at different points in our lives and often don't respond well to it, but the way you talked about the problem initially, and the tone you use when responding to others is screaming a younger version of myself (pre-adhd therapy me lol.) i just wanted to say something because even after getting diagnosed in 4th grade, i only learned about rsd about a year ago and i think it would've spared me immense amounts of suffering. totally make your own informed decision, again i am not a psychiatrist lol. and most importantly, this lady/company is totally in the wrong. sounds like you dodged a bullet!
→ More replies (2)3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Yes I’ve been diagnosed for over a decade lol! And while I have a good handle on 99% of the symptoms, rejection sensitivity is something I struggle with. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a therapist that can help with that specific part yet (the last one was like, we can’t really deal with that because it only comes up when you’ve been rejected and I was like, yeah. Dealing with stuff that’s not triggered right now is basically what 90% of therapy is for tho?), but that actually contextualizes this a lot. You totally hit the nail on the head!
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Alternative-Bike7681 Feral Til Fed Jul 06 '26
Don’t fret too much yet it may be coming. Sometimes they need to finish a certain amount of interviews with candidates by company policy and sometimes Theres reasons they continue the interview process. Or if the email was from someone other than the lady it could be a delay in communicating their decision. I would have thought I got the job too! But yes always wait for the writing before planning your life around it. I also ask for a company handbook along with the offer before returning the offer too
3
u/AdLeather8285 Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 06 '26
Sounds like a job offer to me. Also every time I’ve had a job offer it’s initially verbal then written when accepted. Probably someone that works there has a relative that needs a job and they decided to revoke your offer and pretend it was your error. You’re better off not working there.
3
u/emmas-worlds 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 Jul 06 '26
"She suggested steamed vegetables" with what? Girl she can't be expecting you to survive off steamed veg that's insane. (Also so sorry for the embarrassment that's awful :( but also they made it sound like you got the job so really it's on them)
→ More replies (6)
3
u/godzillas_zilla what that mouth do is snack Jul 07 '26
I left my job January 2020 and then Covid, so good lord finding a job was horrible. I interviewed with an entire team, two rounds, the recruiter told me I had the job! I announced it to my family. I told everyone!
It was not a job offer. She misspoke. I had to go back and tell friends and family I was still unemployed.
Four days later, they actually offered me the job. But I spent a week wishing a sinkhole would find me.
I hope your outcome is like mine.
3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Me too. The family thing was really brutal. They were all very proud 🥲 hopefully it all turns out
3
u/Available-Ambition17 chismosa, metiche, en bata Jul 07 '26
It’s okay, I had an interview and it went super well. They ended the interview with
“if I were you I’d start looking for housing, the market goes quick here”
I was thrilled and got so excited, told my family and friends. They ended up ghosting me 🫠
→ More replies (2)3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
That’s awful. They say it so casually and that could totally ruin someone’s life!! I hope you landed on your feet because that’s so hard
→ More replies (3)
3
u/the-ratslayerr nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Dude as a recent college grad applying for jobs i relate to this post soo much rn. I recently went through 3 rounds of interviews with a company i loved, thought it went really well and they literally said on the last interview to expect an offer within a couple days and not stress abt it. Then they ghosted me. Haven’t even replied to my follow up emails, just been radio silence for weeks. It’s really jarring to be super excited abt a job and tell ur family & friends abt it just for it to fall through with no clear explanation. My motivation for job hunting has def been down since then.
→ More replies (2)2
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Dude that blows. I was confused, but that sounds low key devastating. You’ll find your place tho I believe it. Even in this job market, if you’re desirable for positions that require so many interviews then some place will snatch you up.
3
u/LookAtMaDog Snack Goblin Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
On the dentist thing, they should've explained it better:
Very hard foods (like dark chocolate), foods that are very crunchy (nuts) and foods that require extra extra chewing (like toffee) put extra strain on your jaw and teeth. Your jaw and teeth are more vulnerable with your TMJD.
It's not that you cannot eat these things.
Just if you eat a lot of these things, you need to reduce consumption and/or swap them for softer or easier to consume versions.
For example: eat dark chocolate buttons instead of a solid bar.
Also your dentist should've mentioned avoiding a lot of big bites like people do when eating burgers, apples etc. I cut them up or eat with a knife and fork.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/mandolinpebbles APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Hey, off topic. Gordon Ramsey is also my comfort watch person. Don’t know why, I just like him.
3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Yeah I’ve been on a journey with him. He’s reliable and consistent and I needed that tonight lmao. He’s so dramatic and I love that
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Rich_Librarian_7758 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 07 '26
I would have been planning out my first day outfit and maybe even shopping for it! You were misled, not presumptuous!
I had an interview recently, went so well, then it took them longer than they said to get back to me. When they finally did they offered me like 20k less than I wanted. And I’m a nurse, 20k is A LOT LESS.
And I also always get nuggies and a cheeseburger! I wish McDonald’s had a combo meal like that. We can’t be the only ones who can’t decide and want both.
2
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Oh my god for a NURSE?? They wanted a discount NURSE???? Unbelievable. Hope you get every penny you deserve with the next offer!!
2
u/vamonospesto we listen and we only judge a little Jul 07 '26
Girl, it’s all good. You can come back from it. One of my first interviews after college- I spent days and hours researching and studying the company and staff a- only to accidentally call my interviewer the wrong name (which I had written down -_-) and i likely came off super racist because it was the name of another woman of similar minority race on staff…and that very well could’ve been my implicit bias showing up and telling me I still gotta work on that but I swear to god, i didn’t wanna do that and I was so anxious and inexperienced 😭 I was mortified and knew it was over immediately. my Lyft driver was great at helping me after lol and honestly, she was very gracious considering how insulting that can be/is.
My mom also shared a similar story that back in the days of no internet/phones/computers, she went to an interview that she realized in the moment she was not qualified for but instead of communicating that somehow, she told the interviewers she knew how to do everything they asked and then excused herself to go to the bathroom and climbed out the bathroom window 🤣🤣🤣
We all have our embarrassing moments and learn from them. My mom and I both turned out ok and did find gainful employment lol
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Hairy_Interactions Pantry Gremlin Jul 07 '26
Something very similar happened to my partner. They even took him on a tour of the building and gestured vaguely to “this is where you will be working.” To be then told “they went with another, more qualified candidate” and to add insult to injury the same job was posted within a week after the interview, giving vibes that it was never actually filled 🥶
I’m so sorry it happened to you, to this day (3 years later) it’s still one of our biggest “what went wrong?” conversations. It’s so uncomfortable for him still but he’s definitely moved on and has a better job than that would have been. Still sucks when the job market is the way that it is and it’s hard enough to get an interview.
Oh; this reminds me 🥴 I was once offered a job and RIGHT after, like, I verbally accepted it, did the recruiter say “oh wait— what’s your last name again? Oh there is someone else that I was suppose to call instead, let me call you back.” 🚩it was a case of mistaken identity, since I have a very common name like: Emily Jones, they offered me a job meant for someone like Emily Johnson. Ultimately I still was extended a pity offer because they were hiring more than one person but it didn’t feel great.
3
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Yess they showed me “””my””” office!! And other office amenities. But to not even fill the job after that is fucking ice cold. Glad he landed on his feet!
2
u/Space-Laser APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
This is one of the sweetest, most wholesome posts here. Congrats on graduation and your impending job offer. You are a good person with a good head on your shoulders. Don’t be so hard on yourself - enjoy your career and remember that folks get the career they deserve. You’ll run into bad employers and coworkers, but you are a special (especially thoughtful and forthright) person. - Signed, former HR professional
2
2
u/Acceptable-Kale6235 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 07 '26
sharing a funny story to hopefully make you laugh/smile
I worked at mcdonalds for 3 days when I was 17 before being let go for “not picking up fast enough” I found out when I was 19 (after being offered a job at 3 different mcdonalds, then ghosted immediately after) that I am mysteriously apparently banned from working at all mcdonalds in my city 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It could be worse, you could be banned from working at mcdonalds lol /s
Honestly wouldn’t have even remembered this, the photo just reminded me lol I hope it makes you laugh/smile
→ More replies (1)
1
u/_ChristmasSunday 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 Jul 06 '26
Oof.
Lesson learned Ugh. Never ever make announcements even after you get a formal offer. It’s after the formal offer, your written acceptance, their confirmation of your start date, then the completed background check. Until all of those steps are complete 100 things could stop the process.
But now you know. But you also now know that you have what it takes to get an employer interested. So keep going!
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Chemical-Maybe6102 puff puff pass the snacks Jul 06 '26
Damn girl. As someone out there hunting for jobs, I feel for you.
Push forward, I wish you much luck!
1
u/Dry-Use8680 APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
Sounds like you were the primary candidate and some jackass manager wanted to "review" more resumes before making a decision...that or the #1 candidate is flaky and they are keeping you warm as #2.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Jaded-Banana6205 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 06 '26
I've been working in healthcare for a decade and would have absolutely thought this was an offer!
1
1
u/Demoncouch06 Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Jul 06 '26
Tbf every time I go to an interview their verbiage makes it sound like I got the job already even though they didn’t make an offer so I wouldn’t stress lol they should really consider making it more clear 😭
1
u/Putrid_Dream9755 🐩 Food Aggressive 🍽️ Jul 06 '26
Oh man lol. Chalk it up to a learning experience. I know it's embarrassing but it's not a big deal, truly. Enjoy your McDonald's & just think of this as a funny story to tell one day ❤️
1
u/pallettowns Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 Jul 07 '26
hey OP this literally just happened to me too so don’t feel bad. they told me I had the job and that HR would reach out with the details. that turned into a second interview and now waiting to hear about a third. don’t be embarrassed because of their misleading language. just laugh it off and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that you get it!
2
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Best of luck!! I’ll keep mine crossed for you too!
→ More replies (1)
1
u/Ok-Technician-6801 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 07 '26
omg fellow TMD girlie!! my dentist nor my orthodontist ever told me to stay away from hard foods cuz mine is more pulled by gravity and affected when i lay on my sides BUT smoothies and milkshakes are soft foods that never get old lol.
2
u/So_Ill_Continue nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26
Oh good point!! I’m gonna up my smoothie game!! Yeah I really thought they’d hand me medicine or show me some stretches or something and instead I got “how about you abstain from food?” And I know it’s not all food but oh my god, it’s so much.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/kingozma white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 07 '26
Any hiring team that does shit like this deserves to go to hell for real. In this damn job economy? Diabolical.
This was not on you at all 🫂
1
u/OrganizationIll3378 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 07 '26
I would have taken that as a verbal offer don’t feel bad what a weirdo for saying those confirming things like when can you start and do you need to think about it? Then pretend they didn’t offer you something. Really strange.
1
u/Sufficient_Pilot4679 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 07 '26
Here to say fuck the food advice, nothing I’ve done has ever made a difference lol. Eat what you want! Also that conversation sounds like it was super misleading, try to cut yourself some slack.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/lchav90 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 07 '26
Hoping you get a new opportunity soon! I have TMD too and my favorite foods are crunchy and chewy 🙃😆
1
u/Wayfaringbutterfly Chocoholic Jul 07 '26
She asked you if you wanted a few days to think about what sounds like a job offer, talking about you starting ASAP. I would have done the same thing. I can understand the embarrassment, but honestly I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed by. I think they should be embarrassed that they didn't make it very clear to you that it wasn't a job offer.
I hope you still get an awesome job that is even better than this one!
1
1
1
u/Icy-Entrepreneur-361 Noods 🍜 > Dudes 🤡 Jul 07 '26
I do the majority of hiring for the company I work for. That was poor communication on the interviewers part. I always let candidates know what step of the process we’re on, what the step coming up is, and an estimated timeline of when they’ll hear back about said next step. That was not on you at all. I hope it works out for you!
1
u/nicechicken we listen and we only judge a little Jul 07 '26
It definitely sounded like they offered you the job! Imagine if she said that and you never emailed, they would have thought you were a total flake. Her fault!!!
→ More replies (2)
1
u/coffeekaye 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 Jul 07 '26
that’s not on you, i would’ve thought the same
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Hungry_Wasabi_3524 Snack Goblin Jul 07 '26
had something similar happened, went to a job fair and had an amazing interview with the recruiter, they told me I answered everything perfectly and literally said "and I hope you say yes." After waiting a week and nothing back, I ask about onboarding and am immediately sent an invite for ANOTHER job fair. I thought I made it? If this wasn't the job I moved across states to get, I would have given up by then, but I went and EVENTUALLY, FINALLY got my offer. Stay strong, it seems like they do want you, they just are slightly bad at organizing correspondence. Good luck!!
1
1
u/extac4 Internet Auntie Jul 07 '26
I'd assume it was a job offer and I had something similar happen to me when I was looking for a second job outside of my current field. I was actually given a start date and everything at the end of the interview. I quickly learned that in the state of California a job offer has to be in writing with pay stated. Then I received a written job offer accepted it and got an email that they were still interviewing for the position. So don't be embarrassed. Some companies are mismanaged with poor communication and what happened to you is often the result. An interview will think they have the authority to hire and when they inform their supervisor they've offered someone the position it's then they find out they don't actually have hiring authority.
1
1
u/wordslayer420 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 07 '26
I had to read this post a few times because I was like wait…where did they NOT offer the job 😂 It totally sounds like the job was offered to you. Wth. Sounds like they need to word things better.
1
u/YolkyFanClubPrez Assigned Hungry At Birth Jul 07 '26
Yeah no. She offered you the job and is playing games. This is on them.
1
u/not_good_for_much nom nom, nod nod Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Yeah no I'd be confused too. You should get back to us*,* sounds way more like an offer than not. Either they've changed their minds, the recruiter is extremely unprofessional, or they have multiple positions and they're not onboarding at the halfway mark.
Not on you at all though, whatever is going on, it sounds like the problem is their communication not your understanding.
Shoutout to fellow TMD sufferer :D. Just spent a week unable to close my teeth lol.
→ More replies (3)
1
u/dani_love83 Trader Joe Hoe Jul 07 '26
Listen, some people don’t show up to interviews. Or they show up late, or high, or looking like they rolled out of bed. I understand your embarrassment but honestly it really could be so much worse! It sounds like you impressed her and you’re obviously eager to work there, which I think will only reflect well in the end. Don’t beat yourself up, and good luck! 😊
1
u/NAldrichN Tater Thot Jul 07 '26
I’ve had at least a dozen interviews, every one of them ended in some close variation of the following - the interviewer(s) thanking me, letting me know they still had interviews to conduct (even when they and I knew this to be false), and assuring me they’d reach out to me either way within X timeframe.
Sounds like your interviewer was at least as inexperienced as you, if not more so.
1
u/chichicupcake girl du fromage 🧀 Jul 07 '26
HR here! It sounded like they were giving you a soft offer in the beginning, building an expectation that an official offer would be given soon. What they should have done is say something like, “we’re still interviewing candidates and you’ll hear from someone soon”. They should feel embarrassed for being so confusing
1
u/LittleArcticPotato what that mouth do is snack Jul 07 '26
Hey! I’ve been interviewing a lot over the past ten or so years and I thought I had a job on lock just last year.
Turns out I didn’t! I was referred by my old boss who had worked there for a decade + and everything.
They were talking about “when you come on board” at the end of the interview.
I did not get the job nor any feedback on my interview other than “we decided to go with the other candidate”
Keep your chin up, the job market is wild right now.
1
u/literarycatnip APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Nah, wtf? She offered it. It sounds like she was supposed to clear it with someone else.
The mistake was likely hers.
1
1
u/Euphoric_Anteater_49 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Girl don’t stress it I’m 1000% positive I would’ve done the exact same thing!
1
u/rdg04 Feral Til Fed Jul 07 '26
oh no! i'm sorry this happened- but don't count yourself out just yet- i'm sure you came across very genuine, sincere, and earnest- the enthusiasm was probably a breath of fresh air- i hope they contact you with an official offer letter <3
1
u/rdg04 Feral Til Fed Jul 07 '26
oh no! i'm sorry this happened- but don't count yourself out just yet- i'm sure you came across very genuine, sincere, and earnest- the enthusiasm was probably a breath of fresh air- i hope they contact you with an official offer letter <3
1
u/Bri-ness Chocoholic Jul 07 '26
If it makes you feel any better I accepted a job offer many years ago and was so excited to start. I have tattoos and they apparently were very anti-tattoo (which I didn't know about at the time). I have a tattoo of purple flowers on my foot and after they already offered me the job, and I accepted the job, we took a small tour around the office. At the time, I was wearing nice wedge heel sandals since it was summer (but still work/interview appropriate). The shoes covered the majority of my tattoo but only if you looked closely you could see some flower petals poke out.
Well, fast-forward a few days (i forget how long it was cuz this was like 13 years ago at this point), but it was long enough where I had already given my 2 week notice to my other job at the time. I get a call from the new job (they left a voicemail) saying essentially on second thought, they don't want to continue with me and they're rescinding the offer. No explanation. Just basically "nevermind". I was flabbergasted & confused. I tried calling back numerous times and they wouldn't pick up. I was excited to start the new job, already accepted the position, AND told my other employer I was leaving. I was irate! This new employer was actually right down the street from old job, so the next day I basically stormed in and demanded a reason why they just said no and changed their mind after everything went so well. The lady finally comes clean and said it was because she noticed the tattoo on my foot while we did the tour. Like...seriously?
So yeah, I was young and really wanting to leave my other job and also TOLD them how I put in my 2 weeks notice. I also said I would keep my tattoo covered. She eventually came around and agreed to now hire me again. I was there for like, almost 4 years until I left for another company. I even became department lead.
Since then, I have gotten many more tattoos LOL. And my current employer is great and they don't care about that kinda thing. Its crazy how judgemental those bosses were at my old job. As if hiring me because of my FLOWER tattoo would mean you're hiring some low-life lazy person or something. Like wtf. You can have tattoos AND be a hard worker! Haha ok end rant 🤪
I feel like at least in your situation, they didn't say no. You're just still waiting to hear back! It sounds like you'll still get it! Best of luck to you! I hope it works out!! 🤞
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
u/sonipoop chismosa, metiche, en bata Jul 07 '26
This is why I am so transparent in interviews. I hate confusing people and I like them to leave with a clear understanding of how they did and whether they have any chance at all with us.
1
u/Busy-Associate564 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 07 '26
Sounds like they offered you the job. As a general rule, it’s not a done deal until you’ve gotten the offer in writing, gone through background and drug tests (if required). If you’re resigning from another job, you should never give notice until all these steps and your written acceptance are complete. Don’t be too hard on yourself, this is a learning experience and you’ve got a long career ahead you. Good luck!
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Mom2Be1231 Umommy Jul 07 '26
If it makes you feel better imagine that interviewer writing a similar post but from the opposite perspective. “I interviewed a candidate that i absolutely loved. I was so excited i pretty much offered her the job on the spot. Later HR told me I don’t have the authority to do that without my boss’s approval and i have to finish the last round of interviews they have set up. I am mortified. I basically offered this girl the position and now we have to walk it back. I’m an idiot.”
Based on what you described she could be feeling just as mortified as you right now!
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
u/clearlyapasserby Taco Belle Jul 07 '26
I’ve been on my fair share of interviews and that would’ve been confusing to me too. On the other hand, I’ve been on interview committees and I definitely wouldn’t not count out a potential candidate based on a mishap like that.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Jerseygirl2468 Internet Auntie Jul 07 '26
It totally sounds to me like she offered you the job. Perhaps after the interview she was informed that she was not authorized to do so, but it sure seems like it's yours based on that conversation.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ALTbroke APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Sounds like you did a great job of closing her! Maybe she's the inexperienced one here. Good luck!
1
u/Solid_Parsley_ Dip Diva Jul 07 '26
I've been in the working world a long time and have done countless interviews. I genuinely would have also thought the recruiter was offering the job. Usually by the time they are discussing start dates and approving salary, you're in. Being asked if you wanted time to think about it is another point in the "being offered a job" column... What else would you be thinking about? So don't feel too bad. This sounds like an issue with the interviewer, not with you.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/unsuspected_doubtist 💵 Le Dolla Beans & Rice 🫘 Jul 07 '26
Came to comment on the sub-plot; I have TMD and it's gotten 75% better with a good quality mouth guard. It doesn't click anymore and rarely hurts. I still have some locking issues but it's minor and not as bad as it sounds. Also, being more mindful about my jaw clenching (and some anxiety medicine) definitely helps!
→ More replies (2)
1
u/swtcharity Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Jul 07 '26
The only person who should be embarrassed here is the interviewer. She goofed. Not you.
1
1
u/Different-Bison6840 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
HR person here. From what you’ve described, that sounds like an offer to me. No need to feel embarrassed at all. The interviewer is the person with an issue. I’m sorry that happened to you.
1
u/marveloustoebeans 👋 new here Jul 07 '26
Nah that sounds like they offered you the job and then took it back or something got lost in communication with whoever sent you the email.
They don’t ask you to go home and think about whether or not you want the job you’re interviewing for if they aren’t offering it to you 😂
1
1
1
u/WifeofBath1984 Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 07 '26
It absolutely sounds like she was offering you the job. Sounds like they just need to finish interviews before extending you a formal offer.
1
1
u/Downtown-Web1296 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
To be fair, that comment did make it seem like you got the job already…
1
u/cloud_nothing I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 07 '26
I had a similar kind of thing happen during a phone screen with HR once, it was going really well, sounded like it'd be the perfect fit, and then I had asked a question about what the start date would be because I knew I would need to give like a months notice at my job and didn't want that to disqualify me from the new job. Well, when I asked this the HR person was low key kinda rude and said "we'll IF you get the job..." Like I definitely knew I hadn't been given an offer but it was sounding positive and moving to the next step, ugh I was so mortified and had to literally talk myself back and say "yes, I know, IF I were to get the offer ...". I think it's common when an interview is really vibing to subconsciously jump ahead to the what if you get it thoughts so don't feel too bad, it sounds like the interviewer wasn't being very clear. Anyway, I ended up getting that job even after that embarrassment!
→ More replies (2)
1
1
u/Familiar_Ostrich5952 FREE MOM HUGS Jul 07 '26
Oh shame on her! As someone who conducts interviews, this is not your bad, it’s hers. My guess is she is new at interviewing or just never bothered to learn how to interview properly. I’ve never given give those types of general questions or comments without prefacing “should you be selected”. My final comments are always “I have more interviews to conduct, but it was a pleasure meeting you. I thank you for your time, and I or someone from my team will reach out within the next xx days to let you know my decision”. I follow up with an email that says the same thing. Im rooting for you to get the position!
1
u/Swimming-Position372 APPROVED✨ Jul 07 '26
Rejection is protection! The universe has a better plan for you! 🙏💖🌞
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/gunbgy Trader Joe Hoe Jul 07 '26
They are the weird ones, not you. Id think I got the job too!
I also struggle with TMJ, and have a flare up currently and it’s been awful, hope you get better soon
1
u/MaroonFeather Savory Complex✔️ Jul 07 '26
Omg lol I did the same thing once. Don’t worry, misunderstandings happen. It’s really not that big of a deal I promise!
→ More replies (2)
1
1
u/Kayb88 LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 Jul 07 '26
Hey! Don’t sweat it, this sounds like it was a verbal job offer.
On the flip side, any chance this was actually just a phone screen with the recruiter who was excited to find a good fit and felt you’d be perfect to pass along to the hiring manager to have a formal interview?
→ More replies (2)
1
u/djcamic Kitchen Witch Jul 07 '26
When I interview I always let the candidate know our rough timeline and when they can expect to hear back from us regardless of outcome. It helps people understand if we’re the right fit for them, and (although I didn’t realize it) protects from situations like this.
1
u/logic_tempo Feral Til Fed Jul 07 '26
Could it be possible they're hiring multiple people? It kinda sounds like she did offer you the job..
2.2k
u/Old-Session6649 APPROVED✨ Jul 06 '26
I’m sorry but all of her comments truly made it sound like you got the job and was just pending an official offer letter or something similar. This sucks and I’m sorry. It’s not your fault! I hope you get something even better soon!