My three-and-a-half-year-old has long, wavy hair that we’ve never cut. She absolutely loves having long hair, so we don’t really want to cut it short, but we’re having a nightmare keeping it knot-free.

Her hair seems to tangle incredibly quickly, and she really doesn’t like having it brushed. She also wriggles around so much that it’s difficult to get the knots out without pulling or hurting her.

At the moment, we wash her hair about once a week with conditioner, and we try to brush it at least once a day. She’s happy to have it tied up, but we only really get it wet on the days we wash it.

My sister recently told me that you should never brush curly or wavy hair when it’s dry, which is basically what we’ve been doing, so now I’m wondering if our whole routine is wrong.

Does anyone with a curly/wavy-haired toddler have a routine that works well? Are there any good detangling sprays, leave-in conditioners, brushes or other products you’d recommend?

One slight complication is that my partner is very particular about ingredients and will only really use very natural products that score highly on the Yuka app, so recommendations along those lines would be especially helpful.

And would giving it a small trim help with the tangling? She’s never had it cut, so I’m wondering if some of the ends are still her very fine baby hair and that’s making things worse.

Any advice appreciated!

Context: when I was like 12, someone made the comment "why dont you ever wear your hair up? It would look so nice!" to me and from that day on, I have basically had my hair up in a pony or a messy bun ever since. It has been 31 years and anytime I have my hair down, I love the way it looks, but I just can NOT keep my hands off of it, keep it out of my face, or anything and it just ends up going RIGHT back up. I also had 1970s-era straight hair my while life until my mid 20's so the change didnt help and just made me put it up even more.

I (currently) have shoulder length wavy-ish hair - pin straight underneath, curls at the crown, wavy for the rest except barely-there-waves framing my face. So really, the texture is chaotic. I rarely use heat, wash every other or every few days when it needs it, use leave-in conditioner, light oil a bit on the ends as my daily. I will also get it a nice cast and give it full curly love at times. Hair is thick-ish and coarse, but not overly dry/damaged thankfully, even after bleach/dye for many years. In essence, I try to take care of it and I love my hair, but I just cannot seem to stop putting it up. I have had lengths anywhere from shoulder-length to midway down my back and it made no difference. I generally always have layers and get it debulked/thinned or I start to look absolutely insane, and not in a good way. I have a double cowlick, one on each side of the back of my head. Sharing this in case anyone can think of another style to try maybe? Idk lol. I am grasping at straws over here.

So. Please help lol. Got any wild suggestions on how to get used to my hair being all up in my face space? If you need to yell at me and tell me I am going to destroy my hair by putting it up all the time because it will spontaneously combust, then by all means, do it. I can take it. 😅 I just need some help setting it free after 30+ years and nothing I am doing on my own is working. "Just do it and it will bother you less" hasnt been cutting it for 30 years, so that's not enough for my brain.

Pics with hair down and hair up for reference, because why not.🤷‍♀️

I use masks, oils, conditioners, sleep in braid... i did dye it twice this year but color washes out fast..

should i cut my ends? i really dont want to but im not happy with how it looks rn

I have very long dark blond hair and I’m thinking about turning ginger. I’ve bleached and dyed my hair crazy colours before but it was shorter back then and it felt easy to just chop of once I got sick of the colour. I’m kind of really into my long hair right now and I don’t think I wanna bleach it. I looked into Henna but I think that’s too permanent… since my hair is dark blond I wouldn’t want to have dark hair forever until it dries out… are there any hair dyes where I could reliably go back to my blond?

Looking for advice to combat this frizz, it doesn't happen every day, mostly on the high humidity days but it drives me insane. I have always battled with my hair my whole life, I don't know anything about haircare, I have pretty much just washed with whatever shampoo and conditioner and hoped for the best.

My hair type is fine and thin, I tend to lean towards oily scalp (wash every second day), I have wavy to curly hair depending on the day. I don't like to use any heat (I don't own a hairdryer etc).

thank you in advance!!

My hair looks like this (photo was taken after hair air-dried) and looks so bad. I use leave in conditioner but it doesn't seem to make a difference... Help 😭 how can I make it nice and smooth?

Edit 2: So that I don't have to address this multiple times, I'm responding here. The Renpure is the shampoo and conditioner I use. It works well for my hair. Everyone in my family has thick, coarse hair. I have no experience with fine hair. Absolutely none. I am not putting just castor oil in her hair. It's in the formula for the shampoo and conditioner I use. I know that this isn't the best formula for her but, honestly, I'm burnt out. I'm neurodivergent and disabled myself, I have multiple health problems, I currently have three fractures in my spine and I'm homeschooling two neurodivergent kids. I thought I had tried everything. So, she just used what I use.

I understand and acknowledge that I have been completely ignorant about how to treat her hair properly. And that's ok. I'm not an asshole, I simply did not know. Now that I've learned, I'll do better. I've taken into account what everyone here has had to say, I've order the recommended shampoos and conditioners and am going to change things up.

I understand it might be common knowledge for people who deal with this but as a person who only has to wash once, maybe twice a week, it just wasn't something I understood.

Please be kind, I'm literally doing the best I can here.

Edit: OK, so this is what I ordered last night after reading through the comments. Pics below. I have detangler. I got head and shoulders, Garnier fructis pure and clean and a headrest to wash her hair in the sink/on the side of the tub. We'll double wash, condition with a smallllll amount at the ends only, and will blow dry the roots. I'm going to give this a go for a week or two to see how well it works for her. Hopefully, since it will be detangled, she'll allow me to braid it and will wear a bonnet. Anything else I'm missing? And thank you all SO much for educating me and helping me learn through this experience. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate all your help and input. 🙏

Please help me, I'm desperate! My hair is very thick and very coarse, my husband's hair is thin and fine. Our daughter, 9, got fine hair but has a lot of density. Her hair is so different from my own I don't know how to help her take care of it properly.

For reference, we've been using RenPure Moringa and Castor Oil for regular washing but her hair gets VERY oily, VERY quickly. It's 530pm on Monday, she washed her hair Saturday night and this is what it looks like. I recently got CHIs clarifying shampoo and hydrating conditioner and it works well but only gives us 1 exrra day before it's an oily mess again. You could, also, whisper in her direction and her hair will matte up.

She has audhd and sensory issues so she won't wear a bonnet regularly but is OK with a satin pillowcase. Even so, she still wakes up matted.

Someone please, PLEASE help me find a routine or products that will actually help.

I haven’t touched a pair of straightens for a whole year now. The new hair has grown in a bit wavy and very frizzy. I’ve always had a bit of frizz and my parents have curly and wavy hair. I would straighten it weekly and that’s all I’ve remembered since being a teen. I think the damage is notable and you can see where the ends are dead and straight.

My hair is VERY dry (bottom pics are after a wash!) I only use a basic shampoo and conditioner which I know I need to research on. I’ve tried many brands and haven’t had much change. I am really keen to learn but find there is SO much and I’d love some advice on the basics. I’m willing to try products and things or even cut my hair. I would just like to feel happy with my natural hair and know how to look after it.

I don’t know where to start. I would be greatful for any advice on my hair

Hi, I recently started getting into my hair care journey as a male in my 20s. I switched from native to tresemme, and now seeing they have a lawsuit for causing hair loss, I’m looking to find a quality shampoo. Any recommendations are appreciated!

I started using tresseme blowout kertain conditioner. My hair has never been better. Its so soft and shiny. I'm worried it's gonna do harm in the long run. I've seen a lot of negative opinions. If it works great for my hair is it still bad? I remember seeing something in some conditioner coat the hair and gives the illusion of good but it's actually not good. I don't know if any of that makes sense. I really love my hair I would hate to be harming it bc I'm uneducated.

Hi everyone!

My daughter is 19 months and has hair like her dad. It’s definitely curly but I don’t have a clue what I am supposed to be doing to care for it or what products I am supposed to be using in it. Currently I use Ricitos De Oro Curls & Waves Shampoo for washing her hair. After I use Dove Kids Care Conditioner for Coils, Curls and Waves. I detangle with a comb and try to leave it natural when i can but sometimes I add a curl leave in conditioner and try scrunching a little bit.

My fiancé has super curly hair but he doesn’t use products so he doesn’t have a clue either lol. I want to let her hair be as great as it can be and i can’t help but think that her hair looks really messy all of the time rather than cute and curly.

The first two photos are post bath…the third photo is brushed out, 4th photo is with leave in and the last photo is after sleeping.

I am here for any & all advice, products and techniques to make her hair be at full potential so i can know that im not damaging it or doing something wrong. TIA!!!

Thank you in advance for any comments.

I have thin/fine hair but no matter what I do, they are never shiny, unless dried in high heat at a salon. I treated them as straight hair since always, but they do curl a bit, especially at the back underneath the frizzed layer.

At this poin I do not know what to do… if this is frizz, how can I help it? If they are wavy, how to manage that? I once tried the Curly Girl Method for about 6months and honestly… it was a drag.

One note: I’m 10minths postpartum, hence the odd baby hair. My iron levels are ok. My hair always had this frizz problem, even before/after pregnancy.

my hair is getting really frizzy after using alan truman’s 4 in 1 attachment tool tho i think i was using the heat protectant incorrectly. it was too close to my hair while applying and making it wet. so is the frizziness because of this or there could be something else that im doing wrong.
thanks!

Hi, have any of you used these products? If so, would you recommend? Thx! :)

For most of my life, my hair routine was incredibly simple. I used Old Spice Products (and still do) to get the job done. Eventually, my scalp got super dry to the point where I had scabs on my scalp. When I came across "Old Spice Head & Shoulders 2 in 1 Dandruff Shampoo and Conditioner, That's perfect!".

Fast forward to now: I'm still using Old Spice x Head & Shoulders 2 in 1, it keeps my scalp clean, but makes my hair super dry. Now I'm scared to try new shampoo. I'm afraid that changing what I use will bring my scabs back. But I'm tired of my dry hair.

What I'm searching for now is shampoo that keeps my scalp scab free, actually hydrates my hair, and actually smells like men's shampoo.Honestly, I have absolutely no idea where to even begin looking for this combination. This is my first reddit post, hopefully I'm sending this to the right place and that someone can point me in the right direction.

Not sure if this information is relevant, but for context, I am a young adult with a wavy middle-part style that falls just about to my ears. Not sure if the length of my hair dictates what kind of shampoo I should use, but I do know that my hair texture is varied. The top of my head is mostly straight, the middle is wavy, and the ends curl. the back of my head is mostly just curly.

So I recently moved to college and I’ve noticed that my hair will come out oily not even two hour after I’m done washing it. I’m pretty sure the problem is the dorm water because unlike the past where my hair gets oily at the roots first, it is oily starting around my neck/middle of my hair (my roots are fine). I’ve had problems with oily hair in the past and switch shampoos about two weeks before I moved so I’m also considering that could be a problem but because my roots are the best they’ve been in a while I’m guessing it’s the water.

Does anyone know of any products or advice that could help the problem. As stated previously I am in college so preferably no $60 shampoos. Thanks

Hi, I’ve been dealing with grey hair, I’m only 25 and I have about 20% grey hair which has been making me super insecure. I saw this product on Sephora but it seems so overpriced or maybe too good to be true, does anyone have any other recommendations for similar products? Is this really worth $170?

My hair is wavy with a hint of curls but when I brush them they get sooo frizzy for the next 6 hours. How do I fix this? Which hair product should I use?

Also, i don’t wanna do the entire hair routine bcz my hair is more wavy than curly plus i don’t have time to maintain that routine.

hi, everyone! i'm new to this sub because i'm looking to finally tame my messy hair. i've always had natural wavy hair, but always struggle to tame it. i always just used shampoo and conditioner, thinking the problem was the brand, but i'm slowly learning there's more to hair care than just that.

so far, i've used a mix of hair masks and different conditioners, but nothing seems to help. i've been using native brand shampoo and conditioner for a while, as that gives me slightly better results, but my hair is still as thick and frizzy. i don't like hair spray, nor have i tried any mousses or creams, as they seem a little intimidating.

i don't blow dry my hair or style it in any way, just a brush and air dry. i'm looking for product recommendations to help tame this mess, as well as instructions on what to do or what to avoid. thank you!

list of products i've used, for reference:

- native shampoo/conditioner

- herbal essences shampoo/conditioner

- raw sugar shampoo/conditioner

- redken frizz control shampoo/conditioner

- aussie miracle moist shampoo/conditioner

- dove repair hair mask

- bondiboost hair mask

- aussie ultra wonder mist

Hi there , I had blonde highlights put in my long dark brown hair. During the process I felt like they were keeping the bleach on longer than I’ve had in the past. In the end they left it on almost an hour … somewhere between 45-55 mins. After washing , I returned to my seat and the two apprentices were combing my hair and the blonde parts were breaking and I saw the two of them look at each other worried. In the end I asked for my money back but they won’t. Their answer was “your hair was dark and needed more time and this is a possibility, hair breakage”. I feel like this isn’t normal but best to ask other professionals.

I’m thinking of complaining to the big guns of this salon but before I do I want real advice.

It was the professional doing my hair , the apprentice was only doing the washing and combing

TLDR: Chicago's hard water gives me nice volume and curls. Go to school in Boston, and the soft water is ruining my hair by making it flat and lifeless. Has anyone found anything that helps?

I live in Chicago, which has hard water, and go to school in Boston, which has soft water.

In Chicago, when washing my hair, it clumps together really nicely, and my hair has a nice, voluminous hold and is wavy/curly. (Yes, I know this is because of the minerals).

In Boston, the soft water has been causing my hair to be very thin and limp, and I know this is because the water isn't as hard as in Chicago.

I've tried many different products to try and recreate this hold again because I just hate how flat and lifeless my hair is.

So I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and found a solution to it. I've asked AI for suggestions, but I'd rather hear from people who've actually experienced this.

I want to grow my hair out but the back looks terrible. Is there any way to fix it or make it look better?

Prior to becoming pregnant, my hair was 3a/b. Now, 8 months postpartum, it’s barely 2b. I miss my curls! Are they gone forever?

Hello! I’m in search of a good heat protectant for dry hair. I have pretty straight hair and a lottt of layers and must style my hair every morning (unfortunately) or else I look like I have a grown out shag lol. I’m aware that most heat protectants require you to apply to damp hair, but are there any that are good with dry hair that you swear by?

I’ve read through many posts and videos, but everyone recommends different brands and by the end of it, I have a list of 20 different products and I’m too indecisive!

And before anyone comments about the using heat (mostly) everyday part, I know that it’s not good for my hair, and I’ve acknowledged and accepted that my hair will be and is already damaged. Just looking for a product that will at least help my hair out a little😇

I’ve tried Moroccan Oil and Living Proof and I liked those ones. Also used sexy hair. Emi Jay from Sephora was ehh. I just bought the Cecred thermal shield mist because the worker recommended that line, but I have yet to use it.

Thanks!