Like kickboxing is so encodee in my life that i hate it. Like everything i do will it help me in kickboxing? At home or school all i think about is training and sparring or fights i want it to be seprated. Like when i lose a fight my entire week is ruined my confidence tanks i feel like a loser

my head hurts

Never done any martial arts before. I’m 25, in decent shape, but my cardio isn’t amazing. The person who I spoke to yesterday knows it’s my first time.

Hello, I have been going to a kickboxing gym for a year and 3 months. At the beggining I really enjoyed it. I had trainings on tuesdays and thursdays and it was all I was thinking about. Whenever I was done with the tuesday workout I was waiting for thursday to come and so on, the cycle keep repeating. I wasnt scared of sparring or anything, matter of fact I even went to the most advanced fighters in the gym. After about a year or so it started getting on my nerves. I started comparing myself to my friends for no reason and I was really mad about my coach moving people worse than me to the advanced group. During sparring I told my coach I wanted to spar with better people but he paired me with people that I had to held back even tho im not the best myself and I wasnt learning anything. I took a 3 month break (still going) and im thinking about going back but im not sure. One day I feel like going again then the next not. I feel like I have a negative association now with the sport because of the enviroment and im scared if I ever go back I wont enjoy the sport anymore and its the only fighting gym in my town. It was pretty fun and I liked the idea of fighting. Made me feel more confident, respected, was tied to my identity, was a nice thing to do in my free times and it actually felt like I was doing something with my life instead of wasting it. Any advice on what I should do in this situation?

First I want to apologize if this isnt the right reddit group/server (I dont know what these are called) to post this.

I have been going to a kickboxing gym for a year and 3 months. At the beggining I really enjoyed it. I had trainings on tuesdays and thursdays and it was all I was thinking about. Whenever I was done with the tuesday workout I was waiting for thursday to come and so on, the cycle keep repeating. I wasnt scared of sparring or anything, matter of fact I even went to the most advanced fighters in the gym. After about a year or so it started getting on my nerves. I started comparing myself to my friends for no reason and I was really mad about my coach moving people worse than me to the advanced group. During sparring I told my coach I wanted to spar with better people but he paired me with people that I had to held back even tho im not the best myself and I wasnt learning anything. I took a 3 month break (still going) and im thinking about going back but im not sure. One day I feel like going again then the next not. I feel like I have a negative association now with the sport because of the enviroment and im scared if I ever go back I wont enjoy the sport anymore and its the only fighting gym in my town. It was pretty fun and I liked the idea of fighting. Made me feel more confident, respected, was tied to my identity, was a nice thing to do in my free times and it actually felt like I was doing something with my life instead of wasting it. Any advice on what I should do in this situation?