Henlo frenz is Purr.

We kno dat werk is bad, dey take away our hoomans from us. Well, my young female hooman has been LOOKING fur werk fur many furevers. I no kno why, as is best fur hoomans to be home worshipping us kitties.

Well she FOUND DA WERK at hooman fud hunting grounds! Now werk will steal hooman dat always home away from meow. Yes, big tom hooman do da werk from home, but I no like da change! I is pan-dem-ick kitty, need right hoomans ALWAYS home!!! Even if I nap during daytimez, I need dem HERE if I need fings! Need to soo werk to let dis hooman stay home as alwayz!

(Hooman note: I finally found work after a long while looking and COVID messing with the market. It's retail, but it's experience and hopefully paving the way to an office job or masters.)

That it's Ginger Appreciation Day. Us Ginger Boys appreciate all our fine criminal and litigious friends here. Gingers appreciate you!

-Beefy, Destroyer of Christmas Trees and his Longhair Brothers (Professor Longhair, very wise boy AND Harry Dean, everyone's best friend)

Dis Big Ted Kitteh. Mama bringed me boxes and putted them in MEOW house. den she taked dem away and say they for grampa becuz he moobing to “assistissited libbing.” Does meow have a case for de compensations? Dey good boxes a she just TAKED DEM!!! Grampa would want mwow to hab boxes! He sayed I am a good boi. Need PAWYER! How many churus an treats can meow eggspect???

Ohai frenz is me Daxos Thundercow! You may 'member me cuz ai has done many GUD CRIMES! Mostly against that awful dad's waif. Ai hate her.

This is why ai do crimes against her and try to hissassinate her! Ai was in mai spot for baffz, ON THE FLOOR BY THE BAFF TOWELS OK, like, WHERE ELSE IS GUD?

She laffed and TOOK A PICTURE!!! OF ME BAFFING! Roooood and INDECENT! AI AM A BABY!

Then ai gave her a LOOK that said "NOT COOL, LADY, YOU'RE WEIRD " and she TOOK ANOTHER PICTURE and spread it ALLL OVER THE INTARWEBZ!!!!!

Ai am inPURIATED! OWTRAIG! VIOLATED!

Hello friends, is me Jiji the Gray. I'm a master of crime this morning. I was at the lawn with my silly hooman with his silly lightbox, chilling.

So I walked out, I saw a another cat so across the street so I ran and chase Brownie. Brownie is a silly neighbour cat that wanders into my big territory, he ran home fast. Then I saw Orange, chased him, but he's just standing there...Orange is no fun.

After that I snuck into neighbour's house and smelled everything until my silly hooman got another hooman to try to catch me, bery annoying me so me run out. (Hooman: Had to apologise to the home owner, tell her my cat is in her compound, she wasn't amused but she helped me chase her out)

Then, I saw a big pile of sand, so I dug into it and pretended to peepee, my hooman stood there looking for long time, wondering if I did it, his silly brain still don't know.

That was all in less than 1 long hand around the clock. Go crimez!

Henlo, furrens, dis is Nandor THE RELENTLESS today, from da Oh Hi Oh in da Merica. Webber here is hothothot agin. Also bery hoomid. Ai no lyke dis akkause mommy no lets me go rule ober da back yard in mai catio when is so hot. Air tempratchur todae will get up to 95 agrees in Freedom Units. Dat is 35 agrees fur da rest ob da worl. But akkause is hoomid, it feels hotter. Ai no unnerstand how it werks but ai can still do da repawt.

Ai has agara... aggre... pesky mews from mai kingdom dis mornin. Mine mommy let a STRANGER in da howse wifout comsempt by me an mai doggo siblings. He come to do a toon ob da pee anno mine mommy is still playin. Ai fink, ok, tuna, ai can let him stay. But him just plink around on da pee anno an NO TUNA. Hims so pesky wif da "plink plink plink" mommy finally pay him to go away. BUT he cleen owt hidden part of pee anno an say "dere's lotsa pet hair in here!" an do a LOOK AT NANDOR. Sir! Yu are in MAI HOWSE, an yu do a salamander ob ME? Da pawdacity! Ai did him a shun an no give himbs any attenshun. Ai hab bootiful orange fur and ai do NOT go round stuffing it into mommy's pee anno! Dat's dum! Ai hopes he feels broken heart all day akkause da most bestest orange cat he will see ALL DAY did him a SHUN.

In a few furebers, mine mommy is goin on bacashun wif herms mommy. Ai will be in charge of da howse. Mine daddy will be here to gib fuds an treets, but ai is plannin BIG PAWTY for da mommy gone time.

Ai hopes alla frens stay safe an cool. Until next time, Good Day an Good Crimez!

Nandor THE RELENTLESS (NTR for eezee typing)

Hai. Ai wont tew let ebbiwuhn no dat ai wel nawt bi hangeeng aut furr uh wail. Awl Mai Hoomans ar se-sepurr- DEY AR NAWT TEWGEDDUR N-E-MOWR. Ai yooz Mai beeg hooman fown, Nd Ai down wont tew yooz n-e-wuhn els's.

Ets owkey, dow. Mai hooman lubs bieeng en autsaid hooman laik S'mores, duh autsaid catto! Ai wont tew let ebbiwuhn now dat ai lub yew nd et wuhz nais tew lurrn hau uhdurr cattos lib der laibs. Ai hab sin aidewuhz furr fud nd crimez nd uhdurr Fon stoff. Ai Han lurrnd ob fat Gary nd greebles. Ai now dat RATTOS ND BIRDOS AR NAWT FUD IB DEY HAB UH HOOMAN! Ai now ob duh eeks Nd duh pikkelz! Ai wuhld hab neburr nown ob Tali nd Teechurr Leo!

Etz awl owkey, dow. Ai gib ebbiwuhn purrmishen tew cheys der drimz! Ai wel si yoo awl sumtaimz, jozt nawt moch. Meybi twais uh yir.

Dank yew. Hir iz mi en KUHLURR nd aur famlee plos S'mores, Tiger, nd duh ausaid cattos

Ow, Nd Pokey iteeng hurr bott. Kikikikikiki.

Big lubs and tank yuz alz 😻😻❤️❤️

Lub Bubba an Bits and Meomy

Hai frenz, need soo, meowmy went hyk-ing an saw diz colugo. She berry eggsite an says iz sew kyoot! Iz nawt az kyoot as mez. I wanz soo coz meowmy shouldn't hyk too finz kyoot aminals, hermz shud juz feedz mez instead. Hermz awso stoopid an falz down an getz hertz nee, meow sayz hermz deserbz fur doin da bandon an go hyk. Diz picture ob dumdum colugo ina treez an picshure ob mez doon a kyoot. Olive da babygurl (mutc kyoota dan dumdum colugo)

Frens, hamsum brofurs Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun an Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun doon yu an inbite to royal pawty!!!

Pawty is neggs lite tyme after dark tyme snooze.

Is in ourmz palas in Sea Addle!

Yuz can ware fancy royal outfit, or any outfit, or no outfit.

We iz gunna do big royal dans!!!

Also is fleepovah, lossa room wiff pillo a beds to fleepin!

Ourm hooman (=dumdum) gunna serb us sardeens, an salmin, an chimkin!
Mebbe we is lukky a sky raisin comes in an we do a cash!

ALL FREN WILLKOMM, cattos, doggos, gimme pigs, skwirrils, horsies, birdies, an ebbrybody from OTRB (we hab gold pikkil!)

Post a pitcha of yu in yuz outfit or if yu no ware outfit. We is all hamsum a booty anyway!

(TW: Kitten death.)

Iz Moe.

Princess Honeybaked Ham hab a big booboo and went ober the rainbow bridge. Soo eberyone.

(Meowmy: Honey passed away Thursday. I think she just got Fading Kitten Syndrome. She was fine Thursday morning when I fed her and was near death when my dad got home Thursday night. She passed knowing she was loved and on her favorite spot, the scratching pad.)

Where does ai start...

Pepper saved mai life dis morning! Dis scary bug made lots ob noise, so ai bravely hid behind my hooman. Pepper runned up an chomped it! (I've never seen Pepper protect his brother before. It was pretty cool)

Apter dat, Pepper went to pokey playce for vaccinashions. Dey said him is helfy and needs to go on more walks wif us to build muskles, which is grate noos!

When we got home ai had a bockse waiting for mai on teh porch! This bockse had teh coolest toy eber! Ai has been habing so much fun carrying it eberywhere

( I ordered a tug toy from Etsy made from real fur. He hasnt had much toy drive since his dental cleaning/being sick, but he loves it! It makes me happy seeing him so excited.)

Hai. I iz Selene.

My meowmy wuz sondunlee gone manee furebers. No goodbye kisses or snuggles. Jus gone.

APAWRENTLEE dey wuz kidnapped by sir-jerry fur badd ghalbladder! *ROOD.*

Meow I godda take tyme frum mai bizknee skedule to be a nurse and gib heeling purrs. I not trayned in dat!

Whoo does I soo? Sir-jerry dat gib hurts to meowmy? Ghalbladder dat take meowmy? Meowmy fur giben me extrah werk?

Piktures on me tryin dis nurse ting an skehptikle

Helo is me baby p. I m crimnal bos. Also bos ob mine borthr RB! We r still doin crimes! RB does BLEP! Dad is so DUMBS! GO CRIMES GO CRIMES GO!

Frens, dis is a meowtrage! Iz jumped on da big bed to find a sleepy spot but der is dis junk on MINE bed! Hows I supp hosed to slep in dese condishuns?!

-Murphy da Floofaloof

Hai frenz. Iz me maiself Donatella. My sisfur Miss Apollonia Kween Superstar uzly do a post acuz she alwayz sooin meowmy.

One fureber ago meowmy had “frenz” ober. Dey not kietteh frenz Dey is dumdum hoomans.

One ob da hoomans did non consentual pettin ob my tail so I did a big attack!! I scratch and claw and gets blud.

Meowmy no gets mad at me ob course acuz it mai house and she da staff. Meowmy fren do a big apologee to me.

BUT she forgot to give mai apologee churu. Dis outrayge!!! I soo fur menny churu immediately!!!!

Meowmy may be up fur sale soon. If no churu today den she fur sale.

Hi is Collete. I no be postin so much recently but dat acuz no need to soo! Dad bein not too dum. And den he almost be smart! Which I here to meow about today.

So you may no no, but I has cat tree cave in corner of partment. Finn not get on it much and I like being in a little cover space (see foto 1) and it good for naps (foto 2). But dis week, dad start sittin in da chair nex to my tree. It make nice bed but not as nice as tree. Well dad start there and get on his litebocks dere instead of using hooman bed (it our bed but it hooman size, so we call it hooman bed).

Firs day Finn do a vestigator and do some cuddles wit dad. Den he find dat Dad legs still available for cuddles! So he go cuddle dad legs. An after a few days I decide maybe I can get in his lap for cuddles. Normally Finn protect da lap and no let me use, even tho it bestest place ever in the world! But I get some lap cuddles and lap naps and in dad lap! Happy Collete!

I also add a foto of Finn so yous all can kno he still here. But, yous can see me bein cute in foto too.

Collete the Angel of Tortitude

(I’m trying to use the recliner as a place to hang out since it’s better for my back and neck than laying in bed to cuddle the cats. It took a few days but Collete finally figured out it was safe to come back to my lap. And yes, Finn will chase her out of my lap not to sit in it, but just because he’s jealous. So now that this space will work I have to figure out how to get lights and furniture in the corner.)

Henlo Frens, iz me, Bear. Lass time I wuz here, it wuz acuz Meowmy tried to Serb me veggibles an everyone wuz berry unnerstandin.

Today iz back. Meowmy taked me to da pokey place yesterday acuz I hadz a poopy box axident. Pacifically, I went pee pee on her sheets (hee hee, go crimes!). Howeber, my pee pee dont look right, and off to da pokey place we go.

I found a fun place to hang unner da table (pitchers 2 and 3)—dey said i was da first kitty dey had eber seen do dat! I knows Iz an essplorer!!! Oberall Dey wuz nice—lots of ear scritches and telling me how hansum I am.

Howeber, dey stole my bloodz and more of my pee pee. After reading da results, Dey say I haz somefing called Eff Eye Pee. So now i haz to take medicine ebery day for many forebers. The pokey lady did say Meomwy caught it early (acuz I TOLD her by peeing in da sheets), so she finks I haz good odds of surbibing.

I know I can soo Pokey Place, but not sure if I should? I wanna soo Eff Eye Pee too for making me not feel good and for making Meowmy do a worry. And I tinks I should soo Meowmy for bringing me to da pokey place, just acuz it’s da principal.

(Hi friends—Bear unfortunately showed all the markers for Dry FIP during his vet visit yesterday. It’s not a total shock—we lost one of his biological siblings to Wet FIP earlier this year. Vet said at the time that there was no way to tell if either of the other remaining siblings would break with it and we would just have to wait and see. Thankfully there is medication to treat FIP now, so we are putting him on that protocol as soon as I get the medicine from the pharmacy. Please send Bear any positive healing vibes you can spare!)

Am hard workin vital cat enforcer! Dis me alertin' de hoomins ob MOWSE.

N I didn't get no treatoez nor courtesy nor nuffink!

NEED PAWYER

Frens. I donut effen no how to tell use bout all teh biolations dat did happen to mineself 😭

Mine buttbutt was a litl sore butt I was okee!! Den mine mama and mine dada sayed I canut leaf it alone and it lookeded swollen.

So Dey did a BEEG BETRAYL and put me in da vroom vroom fur teh emerjensee pokey playc!!

I had to wayt elebentee billyon furevers in a stimkee playc wiff aminimals I donut no. Den a weerrd laydee poked me all over….incloodin a borthole violayshun!! Herms allso stole mine blud.

Den I getted sum metisin and wuz vary eepy. I wakeded up and mine borthole is sore and I half teh cone of shame (see fotos). Mine mama sayed I half to tayk teh metisin and half teh cone fur 10 big furevers. Issa trajesty frens. Absoolut trajesty!!

I need to soo. Soo evfurbodee. Soo mama. Soo dada. Soo the pokey laydee wut stoldn mine parts. Soo the metisin. Soo teh cone.

Use vary biolated fren, Tank

(Unfortunately Tank had an abscess that got infected and needed to be drained. He has anti inflammatory meds and pain meds. He’s absolutely miserable in the cone but he’s otherwise ok)

Ai escaped da catio. Meowmy wok at wat she callz to dam eary. She heardz me singing song of da people. Ai didz a scared myself cuz want bak inside. Meowmy comes an getz me to slip back to catio and tru da kitty door. Ai tink may haz gon tu farz. Ai furget how to go thru da cat door. Meowmy closed da pet door. Says no go outside on catio until she do a fix of da scape hole.

Arlo

(Meowmy here. I do not know how the kitty houdini there managed to pull the wire fencing off. I found him on the porch railing next to the catio. He managed to slip back in the catio and was so freaked out he couldn't find the cat door. I have closed off the pet door. He seems fine though. He's had his shots and such. Not bleeding limping or any of that.)

Frens,

Is me, Nutmeg the Aggressive Cuddler coming to you wif a new crime! Some eepy times ago was mine daddy’s and spare human’s firtief annieversry. Ai maiself did not know dat hoomans pair bonded dat long! Parently, dis speshul. So spare hooman get many bookays ob flowers.

Now flowers are speshul plants an iffin you member, me-n-Hodge LUB plants. Parently she even make sure ebery ting was ‘cat safe’! Well, suficed to say we did a sniff. We did a bapbapbap. We did a nuzzle. We did a hide. Finally, we did a SMASH.

Parently shiny sparkly fings make up somfin called vases! So me-n-Hodge were doin an vestigatr while mine daddy took big cloth to cleanse up what we vestigating! Rude! So dropitFinn did try to do an eat of the sparkly stuff but the spare human put him in da back garden. Ai don unnerstand why he can do an asplore in da garden an Ai can’t.

Anyways, spare hooman had a disappoint cos she Luna flowers to but said dat kitties is why she can’t jab nice fings. We was just rereanging da flowers. She should be thank us!

Go CRIMEZ!