hi all! i know this is probably a pretty common phenomenon but its been bothering me recently and ive noticed that talking/being able to relate with other people can sometimes alleviate my symptoms quite a bit. i struggle with a lot of morality-related obsessions and i have the worst impostor syndrome, everything i go through i feel like im faking or playing up despite the fact that i know im hurting deep down. but i feel like i “know better” and should be managing everything better. ive noticed even behind closed doors, if i cry to myself i’ll convince myself im trying to get my roommates to hear me, and if i struggle to keep everything down and be silent i tell myself im trying to seem more pitiful so i can convince myself im still the “victim” of everything or whatever. its exhausting and i feel like i can never fully feel like im in private, i tend to run away from people while im upset bc i tell myself those same things except i convince myself everyone else is thinking them as well, but even when im in private i still feel like i have someone watching over me and judging my every move when the whole time its my own brain :( i kind of just want confirmation here that im not alone and this is something that my brain does rather than some huge “proof” that i deserve everything i go through or whatever. honestly i’ve just been struggling really badly recently so anything would probably help to hear. thank you guys for reading

Sometimes after hours of being fucked by OCD my brain basically shuts down and its much harder to think and concentrate but at least OCD is mostly gone too.

Anyone else with similar experience?

If you’re in a position and a mindset to have a pet, I highly recommend it. She always makes me feel better if I’m having a bad day. 🩷

It has officially been a month of constant suffering, unfortunately I decided that this is my only way to let it out on online forums. I'm currently about to undergo a long term therapy to manage my intrusive images and overtime I started to notice that almost everything starts to trigger me, the thoughts just keep coming. Just one random thought and it turns into a lasting theme that stays until it eventually dries out, then it moves onto another then another, literally ANYTHING at this point can trigger me MAN it's exhausting. I know all my thoughts are all irrational and dumb but somehow for no reason at all my brain just wants to convince me desperately that it's something to worry about and I'm falling for it all the time, it literally made me feel like I ruined my entire life and ruined my safe space. I feel like I genuinely cannot bring myself to do the things I love anymore because I feel like I lost all control of myself, I literally lost everything that comforted me all because my brain convinced me enough that this is no longer who I am and it's all a damn lie. Everything that made me who I am is a lie and I'm falling for it every single time, I can't tell what is true and what is not anymore, it's a cycle and I feel so trapped.

I just had my first ERP appointment through a very well-known online OCD psychiatry app, and I honestly don’t know what to think. I feel extremely upset and disappointed, and I wanted to share what happened because I genuinely need to know whether this experience was as inappropriate as it felt to me.

I have been struggling with debilitating OCD and my mental health for a long time, and things have been especially difficult lately. I had been waiting for this appointment and was genuinely excited and hopeful that I was finally going to get help. I put a lot of hope into starting treatment, so what happened was extremely upsetting.

I understood that we might not actually begin ERP exercises during the first appointment. I was completely prepared for the session to be an intake. I expected us to discuss my symptoms, my history, my OCD, the information I had already provided, and what treatment would look like moving forward.

Instead, approximately the first 45 minutes of the one-hour appointment focused almost entirely on my hometown and the area where I live. We talked about living near the beach, vacation destinations she had visited, places I like to vacation, waterfalls, and other things in the area. She was googling different locations in the area and telling me about them?

I want to emphasize that I did not lead this conversation. As more and more time passed without us discussing my mental health, I became uncomfortable and didn’t know how to redirect the conversation. I assumed she would eventually transition into the actual intake, so I let her lead the conversation.

At that point, there had only been one substantial question about my mental health, and it came directly from the intake questionnaire I had completed beforehand. She asked about my answer regarding people I can lean on for support and told me that my answer was insufficient and that I needed to come up with a third source of support.
I explained that I couldn’t because I genuinely don’t have anyone else I can rely on in that way.

She also asked whether I ate foods containing preservatives as a child because she said that can cause mental health issues. She then discussed how eating better now and taking supplements, including sea moss, could potentially allow me to wean off my bipolar medication. She specifically said that she doesn’t like the idea of being “overmedicated.”????
IM ON ONE BIPOLAR MED BTW AND SHES A THERAPIST NOT A PSYCH.

I found this extremely concerning.
We had barely discussed my mental health history, symptoms, medications, or treatment needs before she made those comments. I was especially uncomfortable with the suggestion that a supplement such as sea moss could potentially allow me to discontinue medication that I consider life-saving.

30 minutes in, I said something along the lines of:
“So I guess we didn’t get to ask any new questions or discuss the intake questions at all or do anything new.”
She responded that she could find some questions to ask me.

She then asked MORE questions that I had already answered on my intake questionnaire. There was no follow-up discussion. Eventually, the conversation shifted right back to North Carolina, including whether it was loud living in a big city, whether people are nice there, and “how is it living in nature?”
At this point I was baffled.

Closer toward the end of the appointment, she mentioned that she could send me a worksheet with some simple exercises. She didn’t explain what the exercises were, how they related to my treatment, or what I was supposed to do with them.
She also said she would send me affirmations.
Meanwhile, I’m dealing with panic attacks because of how severe my OCD has become, and I had gone into this appointment genuinely hoping to begin receiving appropriate treatment.

At one point, she said “perfect” in response to one of my answers. She then remembered that I had previously mentioned perfection-related OCD symptoms and said:
“Sorry, I shouldn’t say perfect because you have perfection OCD.” like completely seriously.
.
By the end of the appointment, I had learned essentially nothing about my treatment. I had no clear understanding of what I was supposed to work on, what the treatment plan was, or what would happen next.
I am supposed to pay over $200 for this appointment, and I honestly feel like I didn’t receive the type of therapeutic care I reasonably expected. I left feeling like I had been scammed.

I ended up contacting the very well-known online OCD psychiatry app's support because I couldn’t find a phone number where I could speak with someone directly. I asked them to review the appointment, waive or refund the charge, cancel my upcoming appointment with this therapist, and help me find a different therapist who is appropriately experienced in treating OCD with ERP.
I also specifically asked them to clarify their position on therapists recommending supplements as a means of potentially discontinuing psychiatric medication, especially when the therapist has not adequately assessed the patient’s mental health history or treatment needs.
At this point, I’m honestly unsure whether I’m ready to try another appointment. This experience really shook me because I went into it feeling hopeful that I was finally going to get help.

I know that one bad appointment doesn’t necessarily mean them as a whole is bad, and maybe I somehow had an unusually terrible experience. That’s why I’m posting here.
Has anyone else had an experience like this with the app that shall mot be named? or with a first ERP appointment?

Am I justified in being this upset about what happened? And if you’ve switched therapists, was the process straightforward?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have actually gone through ERP and can tell me whether this sounds remotely like a normal first session.

TL;DR: My first ERP appointment was extremely disappointing. About 45 minutes of the hour was spent talking about my hometown, vacations, and North Carolina instead of my OCD, history, or treatment plan. The therapist also suggested diet and sea moss supplements could potentially help me wean off my bipolar medication, despite barely discussing my mental health and not being a psychiatrist. She asked questions I’d already answered, offered a worksheet and affirmations without explaining an ERP plan, and laughed when I explained how debilitating my OCD is. I left feeling dismissed, confused, and like I paid $200+ for essentially no treatment. I contacted them to request a refund, cancel future appointments, and switch therapists. For those who’ve done ERP, does this sound like a normal first session, and has anyone successfully switched therapists?

I am a 30-year-old female who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but I have also suffered from OCD since my early childhood, and it has gotten progressively worse as I aged, my main themes are severe checking, false memories, real event, magical thinking.
People who don't have these conditions always assume schizophrenia is the worst part, but if I could wave a magic wand and remove just one, I would choose to get rid of the OCD in a heartbeat.

For me, the interaction between the two is pure torture. My schizophrenia creates the paranoid thoughts (like feeling watched, targeted, or that my belongings are being sabotaged). But it’s the severe checking OCD that acts like a relentless drill sergeant. It forces me into endless, exhausting loops of checking locks, windows, my apartment, and my things over and over again.

The worst part is that the OCD forces me to constantly battle my own memories and my own sight. Even when I look right at a locked window, my brain tells me I can't trust my eyes. Schizophrenia causes a lot of suffering and negative symptoms like isolation, but the OCD doubt is what makes me question the very ground I stand on. Without the OCD constant checking loops, carrying the weight of my schizophrenia would feel so much less chaotic.

I felt isolated from other OCD sufferers for years because they usually fear being the bad person who does harm, while my paranoia flips it outward to fearing others harming me. I'm posting this to see if anyone else with dual diagnoses relates to how these two conditions feed into each other, and why the "doubt" disease can sometimes be the most torturous part.

I suffer from health OCD, and I have PCOD. Thyroid problems also run in my family, so thyroid disease is already one of my biggest health fears. I had my thyroid checked in July and everything was normal.
Today I saw a video of a girl with PCOD and hyperthyroidism whose eyes had become really bulging/protruding because of her condition. Seeing her eyes and how much her appearance had changed completely triggered me.
Now I’m panicking and obsessing over the thought that this could happen to me someday. I keep imagining my own eyes becoming like that and checking/reassuring myself that my thyroid is okay. I know this is probably my health OCD, but the fear feels so real right now.
Has anyone with health OCD experienced something similar? I really need some reassurance because I’m freaking myself out.

How can I improve this kind of anxiety? Even when I try to ignore it, I just can’t. The thoughts keep coming back, and I end up getting more anxious.

11:11 just hit and I accidentally made a horrible wish. This wish was something amongst the lines of failing college. And I am convinced that it's more likely to come true because it's the first of the month. I'm absolutely horrified. I can't undo it because 11:11 already passed. I'm so terrified.

I’m 25 and I’ve always had a fear of driving, I have multiple reasons for it like fear of hitting someone, or encountering a road rage person but my biggest fear is getting pulled over by a cop that thinks I’m under the influence of something, trying to make me do the field sobriety test then arresting me. I know for a fact I won’t be able to do the FST. It seems like it has become a little more common. I’m hoping that maybe it could be social media trying to make it seem worse than it is but idk.

I have a healthcare job so an arrest would ruin my life even if it’s a false one

Has anyone else reached a weird stage of OCD where they don’t get super panicked about their intrusive thoughts anymore?

I’m going through a phase of SO-OCD right now where I don’t even feel panic at my intrusive thoughts of actually being gay and in denial, I just sort of feel like they must be true and feel depressed and resigned about it. I‘ve been dealing with mental checks since my SO-OCD first started, but lately, for the first time, my brain seems to be completely convinced that I am sexually attracted to every pretty girl I see and I react to any thoughts or images of women kissing, in relationships, etc.. It’s like the uncertainty that causes my panic is gone, and I’m just depressed because I’m convinced the intrusive thoughts were true all along. It doesn’t help that I’ve gone on dates here and there over the years but haven’t been in an actual relationship since high school, so ’obviously’ being happily single means that I‘m secretly gay.

Is anyone else dealing with this, or has ever dealt with feeling resigned and depressed about their intrusive thoughts, rather than anxious?

Do any of you obsess/ruminate about being single?

Anytime I am single, I spend so much of my time obsessing over if I’ll find a partner, when I will meet him, how I’ll meet him, if he even exists, if I am capable of love or worth loving. It takes up so much of my mental space and starts to really feel like the end of the world.

It bleeds into all aspects of my life. I need the right career so someone will want to date me, I need to look a certain way, I need to overcome my flaws, I need to make friends so I can maximize opportunities to meet men. And when these things don’t happen I convince myself that I’ll never get married because of xyz.

My compulsions include constantly checking exes social media, swiping on dating apps until I see “suitable options”, looking for people my age who are also single so I don’t feel like an outsider, researching at what age celebrities met their spouses, and ruminating about past relationships and missed opportunities.

Is this a form of ROCD? Can anyone relate?

Since I went to a therapist, I started to see things differently. I started to be kinder with myself especially with my old self. See, my themes are religious, moral and "cancellation" OCD, when I ruminate, I'm never able to stop.

I remember talking to my therapist about my fear of making a mistake, she listened and made a joke, something along the lines of "Would you really attack me, judge me or crucify me, if I made a random mistake?" I obviously answered "no". It suddenly hit me, every mistake I made/make, everytime Im scared of what will happen, it's all in my head, I'm the only one judging myself, no one remembers that embarrassing self deprecating joke I made because of how awkward I was when I were 9, no one is going to misinterpret that joke years later and if someone does, why do I care ? I don't know that.

Sometimes when I ruminate, I have a moment of "clarity" I just realize that all the things I say in my head are never going to stop, so I just put an end to it, with a sentence like "I don't actually care", most of the time, I'm just straight up lying to myself, but I just need to do it.

Yesterday, I was able to sleep for 8hrs, without having to fall asleep while listening to white noises or while watching a tv show (both distract me from the thoughts, but not really in a healthy way, because I'm unable to sleep most of the time)

I went to that therapist one month ago, and every time I tried that method of "shutting down" the thoughts, it didn't work, but this time it did, I'm happy to say, I'm proud of myself!

Hi everyone, I’m not super sure why I’m posting this other than looking for some advice on how to deal with this. Basically, a big trigger/OCD fear of mine is getting fired. Recently it’s turned into me constantly having a pit in my stomach or a feeling of dread, constantly thinking about what mistakes I’ve made and trying to think of proof of whether my boss is thinking about firing me or not. Even at the weekends I can’t relax because I have this physical feeling of dread in my body. I try to ignore it but it’s really hard when I can actually feel it in my body and it never seems to go away. Any advice???? How can I decipher between being genuinely worried about making a mistake v OCD latching on to my fear?

Hey guys!

For the past couple of decades really, one of my OCD forms was compulsive skin picking. Literally nothing worked.

I've started finally taking my mental health more seriously, and just yesterday added a new medication to my routine (naltrexone), which was meant to focus on my food cravings.

This morning, like clockwork, I go to find skin to fuck with and like always, I said no but this time... It stuck. I didn't pick and even better, I didn't go back to it.

I'm hoping I can find healthier dopamine sources, and I'm sure I'll mess up sometimes but this is the first time I've actually stopped. Yay.

I have cleaning compulsions, but ever since I got medicated I have less inclination to clean. That’s a good thing I guess - but it’s the only thing that makes me feel fulfilled. I kinda just feel like I have no purpose if my not cleaning.