PCOS & Not wanting do anything

[u/korinani]

This is probably a long post (?) But I was diagnosed very young. Now I'm 21. It has been so hard for me, I can't feel pretty or comfortable. I do not have any friends. never kissed, never held, never included. I feel it's my fault too but I also think PCOS has played such a big role in this. I feel masculine with the dark spots in my neck, face, and inner thighs, I feel my skin is so rough, my eyes look small but bloated and my face is super fat. I'm not obese but definitely overweight, and I've done every diet, went to nutricionist, endocrinologists and gynecologists, nobody has helped. Usually I exercise, nothing crazy but it's so hard getting another level because I don't wanna do anything. It's like my energy doesn't exist, I feel lazy, useless and without a bright future. I went with a psychiatrist and also went to therapy. I haven't seen any improvement and everyday I just hate myself more. I wanted to vent but also asked if any of you felt or felt this way? 🥺 I feel I'll never experienced what youth is about, or I'll never be loved.

[u/mermanyle]

yeah, i completely understand you.

i'm 25 and i'm in a similar boat: never had any typical teen or young adult experiences. never been in a relationship, never been partying, never drank, never had a group of friends at this stage of my life, never had a job, i stopped studying when i was 19 and i have barely left my house ever since. i've blamed myself for so long for it, but i've finally realized and accepted that such a huge part of it is bc of pmos, other is mental health issues (that only got worse bc of pmos).

i've finally gotten tired of it, and i'm now seeking solutions (medical and aesthetic). i left it unattended for so long bc of my mental health, but also bc my doctors diagnosed me but didnt tell me, so i just assumed i had it but wasnt sure. so i can't say "it'll get better" from experience, because i'm not in the "better" phase myself yet (at least not entirely), but i have some hope.... i've already made some progress, and at least i got my periods back, which is a huge step. but i also feel you with the exercising part. i've been meaning to exercise for months now, but it's so overwhelming i just can't. i went on a long walk yesterday, which is actually a huge step for me cause just leaving my house is a big thing, but it's so far from the end goal that it's not that motivating. but all i can say is that i have numerous doctor appointments lined up, so i think it's going somewhere, hopefully. we don't have much of an option, do we? it's that or going absolutely insane and our health getting worse.

anyway, sending you strength. i know it's hard but i also think that once you start and keep going for a few days, you build a habit and it gets easier from that point forward.