PCOS & Not wanting do anything

[u/korinani]

This is probably a long post (?) But I was diagnosed very young. Now I'm 21. It has been so hard for me, I can't feel pretty or comfortable. I do not have any friends. never kissed, never held, never included. I feel it's my fault too but I also think PCOS has played such a big role in this. I feel masculine with the dark spots in my neck, face, and inner thighs, I feel my skin is so rough, my eyes look small but bloated and my face is super fat. I'm not obese but definitely overweight, and I've done every diet, went to nutricionist, endocrinologists and gynecologists, nobody has helped. Usually I exercise, nothing crazy but it's so hard getting another level because I don't wanna do anything. It's like my energy doesn't exist, I feel lazy, useless and without a bright future. I went with a psychiatrist and also went to therapy. I haven't seen any improvement and everyday I just hate myself more. I wanted to vent but also asked if any of you felt or felt this way? 🥺 I feel I'll never experienced what youth is about, or I'll never be loved.