r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/shehan_dmg • 9d ago

Meme needing explanation Petah

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76.0k Upvotes

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526

u/crokycrok 9d ago

Same. And I do not want any hindrance on my legs...

1.2k

u/jaxonya 9d ago

Nurse checking in.. Some of yall seriously need to switch up your diets. You should not be struggling like this

441

u/chefianf 9d ago

Chef here with experience in healthcare, I can help with this

518

u/space-hemax-c2c 9d ago

Plumber here

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u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 9d ago

Yo what’s a surefire toilet? Last time I bought one, they sold me on being able to flush 12 golf balls. Apparently I need one that can flush 12 golf balls covered in a jar of peanut butter.

Maybe I just need less colon.

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u/space-hemax-c2c 9d ago

I just play a plumber on Reddit but I’d say try more semicolon.

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u/These-Nectarine9214 9d ago

I hate how hard I laughed at this

3

u/Necrotic69 8d ago

I started laughing hard and it triggered some sort of coughing response (currently recovering from flu), I seriously had issues taking in a breath to the point I was seeing stars and thought i was about to pass out....ya, I freaked out

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u/AmosBurtin 9d ago

Or…fiber

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u/stoopidclod 9d ago

Beans, those should help

16

u/ravoguy 9d ago

Or stop eating golf balls and peanut butter

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u/lokibringer 8d ago

Liam, is that you?

2

u/stoopidclod 8d ago

Na, just a fan🙃

2

u/iPhonefondler 8d ago

What’s does high-speed internet have to do with this

1

u/DonComradeVimes 5d ago

I'm very glad I was not the only one who went there.

1

u/Quick_End2366 8d ago

Super Colon Blow!

11

u/Fun-Heron-7609 9d ago

Better than no colon.

1

u/Tune-Scared 9d ago

Underrated comment right there ☝️🤣

1

u/PapaByrd75 9d ago

:boooo::

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u/PlaneJackfruit5614 7d ago

Gastroenterologist here

5

u/MotorBoatinOdin1 9d ago

Your going to want to get yourself an American standard Vormax toilet thats gonna be your top tier power for residential - above that were talking commercial flushing

1

u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 9d ago

This is the DD I need. The Champion just doesn’t. Always get the job done. The vormax seems more serious.
Thanks!

3

u/Veteran_Hawk 9d ago

Had a gf with megacolon - she had most of it removed and ended up with chronic diarrhea. Believe me, you want one that's just the right size.

And if you have to dig it out...you need to see a doctor.

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u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 8d ago

Did they have to go from mega to micro? Sounds like someone was a bit overzealous…

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u/Veteran_Hawk 8d ago

They had to remove as much of the diseased colon as possible, while still leaving some.

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u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 8d ago

Man, megacolon sounds so cool… then I read about it. No thank you. Poor gf.

3

u/ML5815 9d ago

My husband is obsessed with our new toilet, the Kohler Cimmaron. He said you could flush 5lbs of old spaghetti in one go and nothing would be left in the bowl. Pretty concerned about his insides now, but relieved to know where to go in a spaghetti emergency.

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u/meatyylegend 9d ago

Put in a power flush toilet, and throw your plunger away.

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u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 8d ago

The encouragement I needed.

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u/rworne 9d ago

12 golf balls are not reasonable. A simple brick would suffice as a toilet test.

2

u/Doomdoomkittydoom 9d ago

Did someone steal your poop knife or something?

2

u/LemonOhs 9d ago

My family invested in one of those power flushing toilets they use in the hospitals. It's so loud when it flushes it scares people. I recommend it.

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u/0knoi8datShit 9d ago

I don’t golf!

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u/iamshifter 9d ago

The tech has advanced. Now 12 billiards balls is the standard we go by.

1

u/Dawns_Coil 9d ago

Gerber/avalanche
Gerber/ultraflush
Toto/Drake

1

u/KiloChonker 9d ago

Sir/ma'am you need a Turbo Toilet 5000©®™

1

u/TooDooDaDa 8d ago

You need to switch up to pool table balls

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u/JJfender 8d ago

You needed the one that can flush 9 billiard balls.

1

u/throneaway-- 8d ago

You could try using a semicolon ;)

1

u/ChaseSomeTail 8d ago

I need one that can flush a jar of peanut butter filled with golf balls

1

u/Nadasuffering 8d ago

I have less colon. It’s not the flex you think it is.

65

u/Winter_Aspect_8675 9d ago

You ever looked a man in the eye's, a constipated man, desperate for relief, while you snaked him?

56

u/edebt 9d ago

There's a few ways to interpret this sentence, all of them hilarious and gross.

20

u/squirleydan 9d ago

Sometimes you just need a good plunging.

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u/Rito_Moga 8d ago

Yes, but I had to pay extra for it.

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u/NeeMaToad47 9d ago

I bet you became besties after that though

2

u/Maleficent_Memory831 9d ago

Eye contact is always vital.

2

u/rbartlejr 8d ago

No. But I have needed that on occasion.

2

u/the_rbaucom 8d ago

Umm can you explain the snaked him action? Or do I need to do a screenshot and a "ask peter"?

10

u/baabaablacksheep1111 9d ago

A ball valve and some pvc cement would fix it in a jiffy.

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u/Background_Note6281 9d ago

Receptionist here.

1

u/RiffyWammel 9d ago

Just stand by, We'll call you back later- Waiting for the Pyro handler to arrive first 😁

1

u/nomeansnocatch22 9d ago

Magician here

1

u/moonbucket 9d ago

And my axe.

1

u/edavidfb017 9d ago

Math teacher here.

1

u/BlizzardK2 9d ago

Admin assistant who just likes to feel included here 👋

1

u/I-ate-your-children 9d ago

dont let nurse and chef help or plumber will go out of business

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u/lolo787 8d ago

I just wanted to add, as a former plumber, I do get naked as well but the boss didn’t like that, thought he’s ok with taking a shit in the bucket

1

u/silentsurge 8d ago

Hi Maven, guys here!

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u/rusty_dusty_crusty_ 8d ago

Currently shitting person here

1

u/AeonBith 8d ago

Hvac, ex chef with first aid training here.

I can set your thermostat to have a comfy deuce. Don't forget to run on the exhaust fan please.

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u/McNasty51 8d ago

Finally, found the right person

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u/ChaseSomeTail 8d ago

Pills here! - Bill (Left 4 Dead)

1

u/ArchitectureLife006 8d ago

IT here… we don’t do biologicals

1

u/BigJP01 5d ago

HVAC checking in