TW/CW: cancer / death / complex mother-daughter relationships / mental health / grief
TLDR: My mom passed away from aggressive cancer two months after diagnosis. We had a deeply complicated relationship, and handling her end-of-life care alone has left me pretty hollowed out. I’m hoping for a little written encouragement while I navigate this rollercoaster of loneliness and grief.
On a milestone birthday, I found out my mom had a brutally aggressive form of bladder cancer.
Two weeks from diagnosis, it spread to 16 new places.
Four weeks from diagnosis, they stopped tracking metastasization & transitioned her to palliative care.
Eight weeks and a day from diagnosis, my mom was gone.
When she got sick, I carried the entire weight of her care, hospice, passing, and post-mortem affairs on my own.
(Much love to my partner for helping me as much as they could, but the majority of everything was on me.)
I do want to share the precious gift my mom gave me in her final hours, her last words to me were, "love you too."
That moment feels so delicately fragile in my mind...
Mourning a mother who was so damn hard to love, is a profoundly lonely road.
So I could really use some tangible words of love right now - Any words of solidarity, even just the smallest note, I could really use a little light right now.
Thank you so very much.
If allowed, I'll share the obituary I wrote for my mom in the comments.