r/RoleReversal • u/Stairwayunicorn • 3h ago
r/RoleReversal • u/SunkenStone • Jan 05 '20
Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!
Before continuing on with browsing the subreddit, please read through the following resources:
Our Rules, which provide guidelines for acceptable comments and posts on this sub. We have a separate page specifically for gender concerns.
Our FAQ, which provides some sub-specific definitions and answers to frequently-asked questions.
Our lists of Professional and Independent media, which not only curate the best examples of RR media we have found, but also show what you probably shouldn't repost.
Our list of Self-Improvement Tips for those of you who want to make positive changes in your lives (or may find themselves in crisis).
(Limited) advice on How to Attract an RR Partner.
Related to the above, a fantastic essay on How to find "Dominant Women".
The designated subreddit for personals: r/RoleReversedPersonals
The RR Map! This has been used to coordinate meet-ups, so if you're interested in something like that, then place a pin with your location and a brief description of yourself. Please note, you should only put your city for your location, not your exact address.
If you have feedback about the subreddit, please contact us via modmail.
r/RoleReversal • u/SunkenStone • Nov 13 '23
Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones
Executive Summary
There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.
A Brief History Lesson
You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.
The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.
I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.
Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.
Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.
Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.
The Current Situation
Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.
To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."
Policy Adjustments
The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.
Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.
Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.
A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.
Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback
These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.
There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.
Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].
Pros:
- Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.
Cons:
- Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
- Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
- Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
- Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
- People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
- Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.
r/RoleReversal • u/PastelCatCat • 10h ago
Other Art This scene from the Madness of King George
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r/RoleReversal • u/Frosty-Difficulty498 • 1d ago
Memes/Fun The yearning to be someone’s puppy boy is wild 😔😔😔
r/RoleReversal • u/CuriousSwitch1996 • 14h ago
Discussion/Article New to RR and Having Trouble Expressing How I Feel
FYI: Made a new account to keep this anonymous. Also please keep this SFW, if you have suggestions or opinions that are NSFW I'm open to hearing them in my DM's but please keep the thread SFW.
Some background: I'm a 29 M, I have had some experience doing role reversal/crossdressing (with partners and by myself, but always in private). In the last 3 or so years it has happened much less, as the women I have dated prefer things more traditional. I also like to look very masculine, so it isn't a problem, and has never caused an issue in the relationship. But, in future relationships, I would like to open up about this, so I can express myself more. BTW, I am not confused about my gender, I feel comfortable in my body, and I am confidently a cis man, no matter how I want to dress.
In public I really enjoy being a rather large man with a pretty muscular build. I like to look this way about half the time. The other half of the time, I would like to dress more feminine. I DO NOT want to be a woman, or to do drag, I want to be a guy with soft makeup, dressing how I would think is cute/pretty, and loving how I look. The problem is, I've dressed like this before at home, and I love it. I feel cute as hell, except that my arms are muscular. I don't want to stop working out, because I like looking masculine and strong half the time, and it really does a lot for my confidence. But when I wear stuff like a crop top at home, I feel self conscious about the look due to my arms, and don't have the courage to present myself that way in public.
The other issue I have is that most women I have dated either like me one way or the other. All have liked me masc presenting in public, but a couple would switch up at home. And when they have liked me to dress feminine, it was typically in a more dominant/degrading way. I don't have a problem with that all the time, but I would also like to just present that way with love and respect.
QUESTION FOR THE MEN: Do you also like to dress both masculine and feminine? Is it a rough 50/50 split also? (I'm not sure I actually prefer 50/50 but since I have never done it publicly, I think I feel a little repressed and I get fixating thoughts on it more). What do you think is the best way to tell a new partner about this? Do you prefer women to be more masculine, and you more feminine (not just in looks but "traditional roles"), or do you prefer both of you the same type?
QUESTION FOR THE WOMEN: Have you ever been with a partner (man or woman) who changes with how they want to present themselves? Do women in RR prefer to only have a man who is feminine? Are there many women in RR who like to be feminine, with a feminine partner? What do you think is the best way to tell a new partner about this?
-side question: Does anyone have tips for hiding your arms in feminine clothes?
Sorry if I'm not explaining well (I can barely try to explain it in my head), but I was wondering if anyone has had any similar feelings of confusion towards wanting to be both masculine and feminine, and trouble expressing both sides. Would love any advice or opinions. If you read through all that I really appreciate it, sorry it was so scatterbrained, it's my first time actually writing a post on reddit.
TLDR; I enjoy dressing both masculine and feminine, but don't know how to feel comfortable with my body in both. Are there men in this community who like to present both masculine and feminine? Are there women in RR who like both partners to be feminine, or is it mostly RR for both?
Notes/edits for any potential questions:
- I do not want to dress feminine in public as a sexual thing. It doesn't have to do with other people staring at me, I just want to dress how I want to dress. If I have a partner who encourages it because they think it looks pretty, that's awesome, but it is not for random people to look at me sexually.
- My dating history is mostly very feminine women (the ones who have encouraged me to CD were also the most feminine themselves), however I don't think I really have a preference, I think I might just tend to attract that type more.
- Arms are the only thing I really struggle with mentally. I can't really seem to hide them, it doesn't make me fully hate the look or anything, but all the other areas make me feel so confident and happy when I dress to impress. And when I'm dressing masculine (I have long skinny legs), they are easy to hide with a good pair of pants or jeans.
r/RoleReversal • u/sherehitewasright • 1d ago
Real Life Love how proud she is. A playful wrestle
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r/RoleReversal • u/Boogie-Woogie-Woo • 1d ago
Memes/Fun Caught red handed.
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I can't stop smiling after watching this. Credit: @autokratikos (Instagram)
r/RoleReversal • u/Blueberry_slime • 1d ago
Anime/Manga i feel my heart strings humming whenever i see this manhwa, my favourite rr so far
source : lady crystal is a man.
The blonde girl here is a prince who had to hide and live as a princess to not get involved in royal succession. He lived his entire life protected and sheltered without much friends, which really resonates with me with a similar childhood. And the prince of his dreams, or king or duke or wife whatever lol , she.... is so romantic. I get wooed by her without failure even tho some scenes might just seem cliché. But i just love how shes makes me or the mc feel. Her protective fierce and loyal character. I may like her even more then Haesol.
This manhwa, is always gonna be my number 1 rr manga which soothes my romantic heart , and my yearnings for a similar love story. i just cant express my love for this manga in words enough. This story has healed my heart like no other, which tbf is probably just an personal experience for me perhaps. i just saw some screenshots of it in my gallery and i had to share my feelings. my rant ends here. ( btw the last pic is my wallpaper, before it used to be a pic from yeonwoos innocence but now its this manga)
r/RoleReversal • u/Elisa130ry • 1d ago
Discussion/Article Any thoughts on the "strong outside, soft inside" contrast? The giant protector with pure Golden Retriever energy is the ultimate dream
Hi everyone! I’m a Latina observer who is absolutely in love with the vibe of this community.Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the "Himbo Nerd" or "Muscle Geek" dynamic. To me, it’s the absolute gold standard of personality: a guy who takes great care of his health, trains hard, and looks physically strong, but on the inside is completely sweet, a bit shy, zero aggressive, and deeply passionate about gaming, anime, or coding.I've read a theory that places with long, freezing winters (like Canada) have a high concentration of this profile because guys balance indoor geeky hobbies with indoor gym discipline to stay active.I wanted to ask you guys:- For the men here: Do you or your friends fit this "heavy lifter, soft heart" contrast? How does it feel to navigate dating when you are physically big but emotionally gentle and shy?- For the ladies: Is this dynamic as highly appreciated in real life as it is on this subreddit? What is your favorite part about it?Just to be 100% clear, this is strictly a casual sociological curiosity, not a dating request or an ad! I just think this specific blend of discipline and kindness is super wholesome to talk about.Thank you all so much for your time and for creating such a wholesome space!
r/RoleReversal • u/Sensitive-Money8838 • 1d ago
Anime/Manga What a self insult from Mikadono Sisters
Desc: The sisters react to "unmanly" behavior of Yuu Ayase (our homemaker, caretaker guy).
Among traditional circles some people theorize that women are less mature than men and they are childlike, so unfortunately these gals over there quasi imply such a thing by deeming his behavior (He proposed bringing the sisters to a theme park. It felt like a plot twist after his build up though) "childish" (they expected him to take the lead and come up with something romantic) but also as "girly".
What an L take.
r/RoleReversal • u/MissGirl-Expert8809 • 1d ago
Real Life Haha who is trapped in the talkative circle
r/RoleReversal • u/Careless_Writing1138 • 1d ago
Other Art Zodiac (2007)
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A bit of a SFW role reversal scene where a girl drives the guy to a make-out area and is putting the moves on him.
r/RoleReversal • u/Pretty_Ad_2093 • 1d ago
Real Life Has anyone ever found their partner in this subreddit?
r/RoleReversal • u/Yogurt-Meeting-8425 • 2d ago
Real Life Just realized my potential relationship is slightly reversed
I’m a teacher, I teach elementary school, and I have a date with a female firefighter (we’ve actually been friendly for a while, we have a lot of mutual friends). Role reversal isn’t end-all be-ll to me, I definitely love the dynamic and always have, but I’m equally as satisfied in the typical male role while dating a woman who who fits the typical female role. So even if the limit of our role reversal stops at our jobs and doesn’t actually manifest in our everyday interactions, I think it’s still kinda neat/funny that people wouldn’t expect me to be the teacher and her to be the firefighter
r/RoleReversal • u/MirrorMan22102018 • 2d ago
Anime/Manga I don’t think he can understands you, Yuta
r/RoleReversal • u/EndTraditional5502 • 2d ago
Anime/Manga I need that
short-haired chubby tomboy girls 🫠🫠
r/RoleReversal • u/Ancient_Rain_7982 • 2d ago
Memes/Fun Nothing wrong about wearing heels lil boy I got ya back😉
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r/RoleReversal • u/Orange_Pasta • 2d ago
Other Art [OC] saving the prince!!!
fanart i drew for u/MR-Vinmu's wattpad story "The Prince's Unexpected Gaurdian"!! featuring his amazing OCs Krystal and Prince Samson!!! <3
r/RoleReversal • u/Leshie_Leshie • 2d ago
Anime/Manga kissing on the hand Spoiler
anime: Pass the Monster Meat, Milady!
r/RoleReversal • u/The_Chaotic_Bro • 3d ago
Real Life Edited vintage magazine shows the gender roles reversed
galleryr/RoleReversal • u/Minimum-Gazelle6175 • 1d ago
Real Life Could anyone help please
Hey I am a 34m and I was wondering where I find the woman that like to peg me I would love to try it and hope someone would like to help
r/RoleReversal • u/Ancient_Rain_7982 • 3d ago
Memes/Fun Normalise smacking boys on the butt 👉🏻👈🏻
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