😭😭😭😭 So sad now ima cry

Death has finally come to take what's left of my soul, I greet him warmly like i am finally seeing a dear old friend no fear, no worry, just a quite meting, I've been ready for you what tool you so long?

He held out his hand silently, I took in main he showed the reasons he had to wait, I had to suffer for other to fly my life was a gift for others not for myself, its a bitter sweet truth, that not all of us are ment to be happy, but to bring happiness to others, we suffer in silence, and in the dark, so they can shine bright bathed in light, he finally came to let me rest my job done my soul lad to rest, the sweet release from this broken body my darkness gone my heart not broken, my soul not shattered, put back together death my old friend never my enemy.

The battle is lost.
Death takes what life could not.
Still, torment blossoms.

Sorry, I wish some people knew
Life was Good
Enough
~tX
#True

When will you ever cease to exist in my brain?

When can I stop feeling pain?

When will I ever be sane?

When will the thought of you stop me to be insane?

What is this lingering limmerence in me doing?

What transpired this longing feeling?

What is this crazy attachment I'm feeling?

What is this fine lady like me doing?

Why are you so important to me?

Why do i like you for me?

Why do all these words stucked inside me?

Why can't I be free?

How do I move on from you?

How do I deattach myself from you?

How can I tell if it is enough?

How can I settle for less when I've had enough?

The undiluted sadness I feel everytime I speak, see, or hear from you, has broken somthing inside of me all over again, I have tried my hardest and sacrificed so much time trying to understand and move past the damage that was done, you shattered not just my heart but my soul also, I have no words to say that could even come close to convey the pain that was done, or the emotional damage that was caused, I am empty, alone, and broken in the dark, shattered, Broken, discarded, a forma shell of the person I believed i was and wished to be, regrets, demons, demands, regrets they follow me, my demons lie to me, demands brake me, death while living, death while loving, death wishing he'd take me, empty, alone, broken,

#endless #Apocalipsis
@highlight #art and #poetry by RAiN

Scribbles from 2020-0101-E

i cant draw in southpaw
for ma or the law
or anything
everything
i cant write for the light
too deep a bite
i cant see to be
i cant fight the injustice
im all bound up
can't make you trust us
tonight
im fucked up
used up
mucked up
i have nothing left
except something
one thing
the devil came and stole
from my black soul destroyed
for the toll
while it filled my belly full
of cheap fucking vodka
and slurry
blurry memories
so fuck it
kill it
watch the blood flow
spill it
i wish i never gave a shit
even just a little bit
is enough to turn me out
fuck me now
world
fuck you
im too sexy!

RAiN

Everything is nothing!

you see it
to be it
wallow
shallow
want it
to flaunt it
hollow
material
grab it
to have it
abundant
redundant
as much as
it's dished out
systematic
fanatic
you suck it
all up
automatic
ecstatic
lap up
your fill
and horde the rest
emphatic
psychosomatic
thrill
for the greatest
and best
most blessed
dramatic
charismatic
beLIEf
that you took
what you deserve
your not a crook
or thief
hook
line
and sinker
your i
me
mine
not a deep thinker
you fake it
to make it
Just to take it all
what could be anything
seems like everything
yet is nothing
Its nothing!

RAiN

-Aspect of Reality-
we sing
the same song
with new verse
we make
the same noise
no rehearse
don’t have to try
not to cry
it’s ok
all part of the reason why
so feel free
to reply
just let it flow
spread your wings
and fly
or else
you may never know
how to grow
to see
what the spirit
has to show
By RAiN 2004

-XXXNYMPHO-
i see you inside the shadows of silent films
feel you within the crux of living nightmares
taste you
your flavor of creeping fear
melt you
under this storm of acid rain
deface you
tarnish your precious “holy” name
fallow you
to your shallow grave
embrace you
as pure pain
smother you
with twisted rope
make you
the perfect slave
keep you
at the bowels of this secret cave
turn you
into forbidden things
burn you
in a ball of roaring flames
pierce you
for the pleasure it gains
puncture you
with venomous fangs
love you
in your veins
suck you
until it drives me insane
hissing at you
between your decaying hips
kissing you
your cold
calloused lips
to worship you
build this shrine
in my morbid head
to cut you
your pale skin rips
drips tiny streams
of crimson red
i touch you
with sharpened fingertips
dark passion grips
i tuck you
into my burning bed
fuck you
now that you're dead
by RAiN -for the evil in 1997

-Ukiah Spun Love Poem 1998-

fucking spun!
nose bleeding
cold dead poison tears
burning
receding
salty fears
evaporating
the pain of early years
keep pressing on my broken back
fondling my crack
jonesing for a sack
my tongue is ready to attack
fucking cum
into the mouth of existential shame
the truth is what i lack
but who cares
it’s all part of the fucking game
as i flap my tongue in vein
walking through
this freezing RAiN
i’m just about to crack
loose my fucking shit yo!
i just need you to hold me
for a little bit
but your face is a permanent frown
just like every other one
in this God-forsaken town
especially when i come around
cold stares and vacant glares
really brings me down
until i’m left alone with feelings
bound
maybe a sigh or a moan
but nothing profound
i know it all sounds so pathetic
but it’s actually pretty funny
where did everybody go?
oh yeah!
i ran out of money
also, i’m a fucking freak show
hit the old school all-time low
life sucks a dick
don’t you know?
life’s a fucking bitch
so say goodbye
it’s time I ended this painful fucking shit
pull the curtain on this show
wave high
got to go
fuck you
hoe
blow

By RAiN known as “Sir Tweaks allot” at the time.

-The Written Word-

here it is

yet another worthless rhyme

the sign of our time

crosses over the proverbial line

tossing diamonds into the slop for the swine

such precious jewels

in the hands of zombified ghouls

who break the standard meter

to step out of line

like me

disrespected by my so-called peers

misunderstood

childhood trauma patient tools

diagnosed mental problem drools

back when I was just a teenage weirdo

too shy

to know

so, I just wanted to die

picked on

pissed on

demon-possessed

Christian rocker geek

who never knew how to actually cry

i was taught that it was evil to speak

and wrong to question why

so, then I was forced to pick up the paper

and the pen

because if I hadn’t

i would have murdered

at least one classmate a weak

then the teachers

since day one i’ve always been “unique”

or so they said

when i was young, i hated this fact

despised it

now it’s the truth i seek

fucking kids are so vicious and cruel

innocence is bliss as much as it’s an evil fucking tool

for those in control

now i’m older and drugged-out

a spun-out poetry collecting fool

to seek your heart and soul

so cool

been writing for twelve years strait

yet to release half of my tears

unload half the weight

i don’t understand how

i wander what i missed

but i’m not pissed

just drunk with sliced wrists

don’t worry

it just makes me confused

i spent so many years being rejected and abused

so

what ruined my life

ended up as my greatest gift

what hurt me most

made me strong

being an outcast

is how i’ve learned to belong

my only vent is now a mark on this world

my purest lament

will never pay the rent

but at least it makes a meaningful dent

respected or mocked

it doesn’t matter

the point is that somebody talked

even if I’m never heard

nothing can change my ever-growing

undying love

for the written word

By RAiN 1998

Rose on a thorn

i saw a thorn on your rose and froze in awe, to wonder, what can i say, who knows, it's all a cliche
when the wind foregoes and blows
your pettles decay
all falling down in spirals with curls
like daydreams just floating away
ascending through fairy rings
where thoughts have wings
catch trivial little things
that glow and grow mojos in moonbeams
flow into reflections
dancing on slipstream lifetimes of vibrations
from broken rhymes tangled in vines of fine wines
where shifting shadows compose adagios
in haunted meadows
where lost souls become scarecrows and sing the
throes of swing lows sweet chariots leaving echoes
pulling the heart strings from spaces in-between
storm clouds falling on world's colliding
with shooting stars igniting
it's raining, it's pouring on the fire refining
flickering
vanishing

♥ RAiN

-At This Moment-

when the wind bites and shivers your skin
so cold
when the sun won’t come up
so old
when the waning moon turns to blood
kills all life in the sea
so brutal
so bold
it’s the essence of how love can be
both
inside and out
it’s the fact that a soul can be sold
it’s when the mountains burst and the black sky rains fire
it’s when the weight of the world
mutates our empathy into a filthy liar
it’s when the air finally chokes
when bad people
hurt good folks
it’s when innocence is betrayed
and cruel desire divides
soul mates
just to fade
watch hope and trust
degrade
it’s right now
at this very moment
all of it
at once

By RAiN

The Flickering

i am so lost I'm this flury of cloudy visions made blurry as seen through tears falling for years until their oceans and i'm drowning in bubbles of information desolving into the flickering hypnotic, sonic chronic train the brain to suckle the mysterious nipple of that famous whore from the Bible. Swinging her great sickle through the echo going viral. Sparking up the screen, reflecting Babylon control falling down on everything wanting something longing, flesh crawling, skin peeling. manipulating gene slicing for past life memory splicing enticing perfection infatuation. molding natural selection, clone connection, to creation simulation scheduled for transformation through integration with computerization. Consciousness transference leading to the excelleration of human evolution by lethal injection. Taking the industrial revolution into the last gasp of civilization under A.I subjugation and extra terrestrial reformation of moral designation. The final ethical solution revolving around psyber enhancement and body modification addiction. Sinking corruption into every core. Melting down the ghost at souls door
Burning away the conscience until the spirit is no more. Another casualty of war coming from the Singularity.

20101404010106174
Ut=396=9
Re=417=3
Mi=528=6
Fa=639=9
Sol=741=3
La=852=6

-RAiN

Dont cry for me when I die cry because im home and lucifer lost his throne

What am I?
A walking parasite, wastefully draining
the precious oxygen of this world —
I've unwillingly been brought into.

Forced to face a reflection
that makes my stomach twist and turn,
into an inferno of shame —
an unbearable sight.

You all love to laugh and stare,
with judging eyes, piercing me,
into the depths of my bones —
the pressure eating me alive.

I'm sick of the quotes,
the hopeful lines, the lies.
I've heard them all, too many times.
Just stop before you speak —
you're wasting your time.

I'll put on a show,
I'll tell you I'm fine,
just to give you peace of mind —
while I quietly leave you behind.

I lie here under these heavy chains, questioning if ive gone insane, fighting to keep whatever piece of me i can save! But don't feel bad for me, cause at anytime I could break free , but the truth remains just like me. I stay cause it's all I know how to be a prisoner, tormented by the memories of broken dreams they toy with me, thought you were my destiny, you may have got the best of me, but you won't get the rest of me, pull me away with those empty promises of a life for you and I, now I jus can't sleep late at night hear me cry! so I get a glass pipe load up, needle to shoot it up, anything just to go numb, cause I can't live in a world with no love, no light, no help, just me and my thoughts you see? my hellish reality! mindsets a duality! with multiple personalities! stuck in this insanity, drugs, greed, pride, and vanity! I'd give it all away to live peacefully with you for just one day...

Ah the pain of being un-chosen
it’s all too familiar
and I knew it was coming

Time to settle into the emptiness,
the unshared experiences to come
the times I tell myself he would’ve enjoyed this
re-experiencing that pain of co-existing no more

My heart goes numb once again
life becomes meaningless yet I trudge forward with hope

The next one will come along, inevitably
and I’ll compare him to you
I’ll wish he was you
I’ll hate him for not being you

Until
I open my heart and fall for him
only to be un-chosen again
And I’ll tell myself
What’s the point

MUST READ.....

Absolutely. I’ve kept the same emotion and meaning from your original writing, but improved the grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow. I also made a few statements more natural and emotionally powerful.
Absent
When you feel like talking to someone,
when you want to share the heaviness of your day,
but they’re already gone…
their absence still finds a way to hurt.
It’s strange how much you can miss someone
when all you want is to talk to them—
to share every random thought,
every silly thing,
every good moment,
every bad feeling,
every crazy story
that crosses your mind.
But you don’t have that person in your life anymore—
the one you once shared everything with,
the one who knew every little detail,
the one you could talk to about anything,
without ever having to think twice.
Now, you hold yourself back.
Not because you have nothing to say,
but because you know
you no longer have the right to reach out.
And perhaps that is the hardest part—
having so much left to say,
but no one you feel you can say it to.
Sometimes, you don’t miss the person alone.
You miss the comfort of knowing
that there was someone in your life
you could always turn to.
And now, they’re absent…
but somehow,
their absence is still present
in everything you feel.

We listen, we don’t judge.

I died in 2024… but I was only buried in August 2026. The truth is, I think the person I was before 2024 disappeared a long time ago. I kept moving, smiling, talking to people, pretending everything was okay… but inside, something had already ended. 17 August 2026 was just the day I finally accepted it.I had to bury the old version of myself the one who had certain dreams, expectations, and a future I thought was guaranteed.

Your turn.

​

I think I finally understood what life means to me.

'Cause before it was empty -- there ain't no symphony.

Only when I started acknowledging my humanity,

My flaws, loves, dislikes, hates did it complete me.

Now you hear it, the beats, brass and choir,

But it took hours, sorrows and heart breaks to acquire.

Who knew the vomit would taste so bad,

All the beef, carrot, fries, and mc doubles,

Then that sour, sweet, bitter acid spilling out of my throat

My tears running down my cheeks,

I stare at my own mess before me,

There's no turning back now unfortunately.

I go get the towels, bleach, mop, and broom

Just before I feel another belch, but this time I swallow it and keep it within.

Take two Tums and then get back to work immediately,

Wipe down the floor and disinfect every corner,

Another wave crashes in -- and now we start all over again.

Maybe this is just the way it is until your stomach's empty,

So accept it, notice when it's coming;

There's nothing you can do about it.

That's when you find the beauty in your life.

No matter the circumstance, it's always the same ol' vomit.

🥄

\\----------

I know I ended on a pretty heavy note, but if someone can think of a lighter resolution, please comment.

Wrote something about my most recent chronic pain incident and trying to breathe through it without meds.

Talking to you
While I’m talking to the wall
Trying to breathe through
But enjoying the fall
Intense in a cascade
Do I care at all
I want to give up bad
Can’t think past the pinch
Waves and vibrations
My shaking fist

I can’t love myself
Right now
I can’t love my
Enough
I want to give up bad
Enjoyed the fall
I want to give up bad
Enjoyed the fall
I want to fade away
I’m begging it to stop
let the sound soothe me
Please let it all stop

The life I've lived thus far has served one purpose. To love another when the ones they wanted were needing to repair themselves first. But when is my turn to be loved truly going to happen? I'll probably not make it by the looks of life as is. I repair and build to be defeated and destroyed. I can't get back up anymore.