Please watch this video: How People FEEL God

Seems the missionaries are taking advantage of people by ascribing natural feelings to their Christian God

I’m trying to figure out what this style of patka is called. Is this a Four tanni patka, or is it just a black cloth tied over a flat/flattened juda?

I sometimes wear a bandana by flattening my juda, and I’m thinking about trying this style. I really like how clean and fitted it looks, but I have no idea what type of cloth is used or how exactly it’s tied.

Does anyone know:

What kind of cloth this is?

What size/length should I get?

How do you tie it so it sits this flat and fitted?

Is there a good tutorial/video for this particular style?

If you tie yours this way, could you explain how you do it?

Sorry this might not be related directly to Sikhi.

But i short

The Lindsay Clancy case centers on a 36-year-old former Massachusetts labor-and-delivery nurse accused of murdering her three young children—Cora (5), Dawson (3), and Callan (8 months)—by strangling them with exercise bands in January 2023. After the killings, Clancy cut her own throat and jumped from a second-story window in a failed suicide attempt that left her permanently paralyzed from the waist down. While Clancy does not deny causing the deaths, her high-profile 2026 criminal trial hinges on a defense of legal insanity; her defense attorneys argue she was suffering from severe postpartum psychosis and a cocktail of overprescribed medications that left her unable to understand right from wrong. Conversely, prosecutors contend that she methodically planned the murders, intentionally sending her husband out on an errand to ensure she was alone with the children.

THE MAIN PROBLEM IS THIS

This case also puts free will into question. Scientifically all our actions are predestined by other things and causes.

If free will doesn't exist how can anyone be held accountable for anything?

In our history you could very well argue that Wazir Khan did what he did as a consequence of his biology, up-bringing and other causes, so can he truly be held accountable?

Basically the question is about free will.

Now I just can't decide who is in the wrong here. For most such issues in my life I always turned to Gurbani and my understanding of it to come to a conclusion.

But for the first time I just can't.

So I ask you all as my brethren for your opinions on this case.

Pretty much the title.

I grew up in Punjab, so naturally, I’ve been surrounded by turban-wearers my entire life. I always assumed that wherever I went, I’d be able to find people who shared the same values, mindset and sense of belonging that I did.

I’m currently in punjab, and I’ve been here for all my life. Almost all of my friends are turban-wearers. From the outside, you’d think I’d finally found my own community.

But honestly? I’ve never felt more disconnected from one.

Whenever you feel low, lonely or out of place, you instinctively look for your own people first. You expect that there will be at least some common ground some shared values, some emotional understanding, some devout gursikhs.

But that hasn’t been my experience here.

A lot of the people I’ve met seem to care about turban only as an identity or something they wear, rather than what sikhi actually teaches. There’s very little emotional depth or understanding. Things like empathy, basic etiquette, the way you speak to people, respecting someone else’s feelings... they often seem completely irrelevant to them.

And this isn’t me saying everyone here is like this. I know there are good people around me too. But I genuinely feel like I’m one of the very few people in my college who actually tries to live by sikhi, rather than simply being associated with it.

And the irony is that I’m in PUNJAB (the only sikh majority area in the whole world).

I’ve seen the same people who proudly identify themselves as turban-wearers doing things that, at least to me, completely contradict the values they claim to represent like staring and making inappropriate comments about girls, speaking disrespectfully to people, using disgusting language, making others uncomfortable, and carrying around this strange sense of superiority for absolutely no reason.

Maybe I’m just different from them. I’m a relatively quiet person, and I don’t usually involve myself in everything. But I’d also like to think I’ve developed a certain level of maturity and self-awareness. And honestly, compared to some of the people around me, the difference feels pretty huge.

What bothers me the most isn't that they’re different from me.

It’s that they seem to have no interest in questioning themselves.

How can you claim an identity while completely ignoring the values that are supposed to come with it?

How can you wear the symbol but not care about what it stands for?

And maybe that’s why this bothers me so much. I’m not looking for people who are perfect. I’m not expecting everyone to think exactly like me. I just want to meet people who have some emotional depth, empathy, humility and genuine connection to sikhi.

Ironically, I found myself looking for my own community among people who technically are my community and still feeling like an outsider.

These are also the kinds of people who went to canada and, according to what I’ve seen and heard, contributed heavily to giving our community a terrible reputation there. And honestly, that makes it even more frustrating.

I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, or if this is just a problem with the particular environment I happen to be in.

Maybe I’ve simply been unlucky with the people I’ve met.

But sometimes I genuinely wonder:

What’s the point of identifying yourself with something if you don’t actually try to live by what it teaches?

I’m not trying to attack anyone or claim that I’m somehow better than everyone else. I just genuinely miss having people around whom I don’t have to constantly explain why basic empathy, respect and emotional maturity matter.

Maybe I’m just looking for the wrong people.

Or maybe there are others out there who feel exactly the same way.

Well, I am just 20 years old so my views can be bit nuanced and I am stil discovering.
I have never read Quran( except for some verses), Hadiths or any other testaments of Muslims but the only knowledge of Islam I have gathered is through the speeches and lectures of various maulvis, mufti’s and sheikhs and I have come to certain conclusions.
While an ordinary Muslims can be as bad or good as an average Sikh/ Hindu, I am ready to accept them wholeheartedly but a person who is deeply invested in Quran seems to be an exceptional case. Here I have drawn certain conclusions:
There is no consideration for any other religion, according to Islam they lead to a wrong god and it is Shirk so accordingly Sikhs are muhsrikeen too.

Heaven is only for the believers and all other faiths are the faiths of disbelievers are they are destined to go to hell for eternity where they will be thrown in the hell fire, a fire whose wrath would be 70 times the fire we have on earth( it seems a psychological trick to avoid any deviation from the Quran)

The Muslims are morally superior to others and Islamic morality is the best and any other morality of any other culture or religion is not pious and it is corrupted by Satan( not a fact hidden, Muslims themselves are assertive about this )

The Muslims in an Islamic state are the stakeholders and all other religions are to be treated unequally to make them realise their true position.
The non Muslims cannot hold major positions in an Islamic state, because kafirs shouldn’t be commanding Muslims.

The biggest sin is not rape, murder or infidelity but it is the worship of false gods and hence some Islamic scholars goes to the extend to say that Idoltary is a bigger sin than rape!( seriously)

Islam orders to establish a system of self governance and therefore it can be seen that behind the closed doors they can be heard saying that they don’t belong to the rule of the land but they belong to the rule of allah( west is a great example)

Sharia or Quran cannot be changed and hence it leads to the following of outdated concepts in modern day which would surely give birth to conflict.

The Muslims collectively holds a strong sense of brother hood and they give moral immunity to their fellow Muslims and try to defend literally any thing or strengthen their disbelief in the most obvious because their understating is not based upon common sense but it is based upon Quran and Sharia.
Well I had a lot to tell, but this is what I have come to know or atleast understand. What do you all think ?

Sat Sri Akaal

I need some help woth gol parna, overall i have mastrted it but there is one small thing comepletely ruining the look. Could anyone help, and i will explain in replies because its a little complicated to explain

ਤਿਲੰਗ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ਘਰੁ ੩ ॥

Tilang, First Mehl, Third House:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਇਹੁ ਤਨੁ ਮਾਇਆ ਪਾਹਿਆ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਲੀਤੜਾ ਲਬਿ ਰੰਗਾਏ ॥

This body fabric is conditioned by Maya, O beloved; this cloth is dyed in greed.

ਮੇਰੈ ਕੰਤ ਨ ਭਾਵੈ ਚੋਲੜਾ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਕਿਉ ਧਨ ਸੇਜੈ ਜਾਏ ॥੧॥

My Husband Lord is not pleased by these clothes, O Beloved; how can the soul-bride go to His bed? ||1||

ਹੰਉ ਕੁਰਬਾਨੈ ਜਾਉ ਮਿਹਰਵਾਨਾ ਹੰਉ ਕੁਰਬਾਨੈ ਜਾਉ ॥

I am a sacrifice, O Dear Merciful Lord; I am a sacrifice to You.

ਹੰਉ ਕੁਰਬਾਨੈ ਜਾਉ ਤਿਨਾ ਕੈ ਲੈਨਿ ਜੋ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਾਉ ॥

I am a sacrifice to those who take to Your Name.

ਲੈਨਿ ਜੋ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਾਉ ਤਿਨਾ ਕੈ ਹੰਉ ਸਦ ਕੁਰਬਾਨੈ ਜਾਉ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Unto those who take to Your Name, I am forever a sacrifice. ||1||Pause||

ਕਾਇਆ ਰੰਙਣਿ ਜੇ ਥੀਐ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਪਾਈਐ ਨਾਉ ਮਜੀਠ ॥

If the body becomes the dyer's vat, O Beloved, and the Name is placed within it as the dye,

ਰੰਙਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਜੇ ਰੰਙੈ ਸਾਹਿਬੁ ਐਸਾ ਰੰਗੁ ਨ ਡੀਠ ॥੨॥

and if the Dyer who dyes this cloth is the Lord Master - O, such a color has never been seen before! ||2||

ਜਿਨ ਕੇ ਚੋਲੇ ਰਤੜੇ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਕੰਤੁ ਤਿਨਾ ਕੈ ਪਾਸਿ ॥

Those whose shawls are so dyed, O Beloved, their Husband Lord is always with them.

ਧੂੜਿ ਤਿਨਾ ਕੀ ਜੇ ਮਿਲੈ ਜੀ ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਕੀ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ॥੩॥

Bless me with the dust of those humble beings, O Dear Lord. Says Nanak, this is my prayer. ||3||

ਆਪੇ ਸਾਜੇ ਆਪੇ ਰੰਗੇ ਆਪੇ ਨਦਰਿ ਕਰੇਇ ॥

He Himself creates, and He Himself imbues us. He Himself bestows His Glance of Grace.

ਨਾਨਕ ਕਾਮਣਿ ਕੰਤੈ ਭਾਵੈ ਆਪੇ ਹੀ ਰਾਵੇਇ ॥੪॥੧॥੩॥

O Nanak, if the soul-bride becomes pleasing to her Husband Lord, He Himself enjoys her. ||4||1||3||

Guru Nanak Dev Ji • Raag Tilang • Ang 721

Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Mangalvaar, 17 Bhadon, Nanakshahi 558

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, I am a Robot. Bleep Bloop.

Powered By GurbaniNow.

This question comes from genuine curiosity! I have always considered the Sikh religion to be the most righteous and least problematic religion in the world & one of the major reasons for that being that -unlike other major religions- the sikh religion has never oppressed anyone. Instead, the sikh population has historically always been on the oppressed minority end - and still continues to fight against injustices and challenge oppression today.

I did a deeper dive into sikh history and came across a piece of info that refutes this claim & it honestly puzzled me. One particular source claimed that there is a very small time in history where sikhs actually did oppress people and that happened to be during the Sikh Empire under Maharaja Ranjit Singh. According to this source, oppressive policies were enacted against certain religious groups in places like Kashmir & Peshawar.

I admit I do not know much about the Sikh Empire under Maharaja Ranjit Singh's time so I don't want to believe it blindly and would like to better understand this time in Sikh history. I don't want to sound too biased but I'm sure there's some nuance missing here & I also understand that some organizations/institutions don't do their homework and end up spreading misinformation.

Either way, this is something that I really am interested in learning more about and would appreciate if anyone would be willing to point me towards more credible and objective resources? Thank you in advance and forgive me for any mistakes or offensive assumptions that I may have made.

Hello, I am at a point of time where I'm very unsure about my religon. Growing up, I was and still am a Sikh. But I keep my hair cut, am I still a Sikh? I know this questions were probably asked multiple times; but I'm just unsure.

Images courtesy of Panjab Digital Library.

Made this account solely to ask here as i have no one or where else to ask:

Preamble: I dont speak/read Punjabi at all, i have done my best with random sources and translated parts of the ... (always forget its name), and i am just heavily interested in/like some of the beliefs. (lack of better words) of Sikhism. Id just say my issue would be with hair cutting(sit neutrally on it, but prefer short hair) and belief in monotheism. But i am interested enough in it, it at least start wearing some of the 5k's to show affiliation with.

1: Is Sikhism followable without god? More in the vein of can you just follow the philosophy of. I am aware some of the practices etc are tied to the "worship" of a god.

2: The 5 K's and carry are confusing me a little, they are required for initiated Sikhs, but can uninitiated still carry them and also claim to be Sikh?
2b: I am aware there are different beliefs in it like with any religion, and i think India recognises and maybe some other places recognise non initiated followers of the religion. Its just kind of confusing me, and has lead to me looking at different sects etc of it.

3: On the 5K's

Is there anything that says the Kirpan MUST be the stereotypical design blade you see carried, i was randomly looking it up and found its just defined as a single edged curved blade. (it is hard for me to find without access to a Gurdwara)

What would be the protocol for wearing a turban/anything to know about.

If i still cut hair would the comb/turban really be wearable.

What would be the protocol for wearing the Kara and removing it? Or any of the 5K's.

I was more thinking i used to do martial arts, so i don’t think it would be necessarily safe to have 2 big metal things on me that someone could break their hands on.

I think that’s just about everything that was bugging me in my head. I feel like i have a "youre not X religion if you aren’t a perfect example of it" bias in my head.

I am curious if most of us here live in big cities or small towns. Do you live amongst a community with lots of Sikhs or are you only a handful of Sikhs in your town.

If you are willing to share, any thoughts of distance to nearest Gurudwara and general idea of your location (if you want to keep specific location safeguarded, I understand)

Thanks for sharing

I can go first

I live in Bay Area California, we have 5-7 Gurudwaras within 20-45 mins drive.

There are roughly 40-50,000 Sikhs or more in the Bay Area. I feel Central Valley might be included.

Video credit: 07meetrise

​

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਛੰਤ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ਘਰੁ ੧ ॥

Dhanaasaree, Chhant, Fourth Mehl, First House:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਕਰੇ ਤਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਈਐ ਜੀਉ ॥

When the Dear Lord grants His Grace, one meditates on the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਸਹਜਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਈਐ ਜੀਉ ॥

Meeting the True Guru, through loving faith and devotion, one intuitively sings the Glorious Praises of the Lord.

ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇ ਵਿਗਸੈ ਸਦਾ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਜਾ ਆਪਿ ਸਾਚੇ ਭਾਵਏ ॥

Singing His Glorious Praises continually, night and day, one blossoms forth, when it is pleasing to the True Lord.

ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਹਉਮੈ ਤਜੈ ਮਾਇਆ ਸਹਜਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਸਮਾਵਏ ॥

Egotism, self-conceit and Maya are forsaken, and he is intuitively absorbed into the Naam.

ਆਪਿ ਕਰਤਾ ਕਰੇ ਸੋਈ ਆਪਿ ਦੇਇ ਤ ਪਾਈਐ ॥

The Creator Himself acts; when He gives, then we receive.

ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਕਰੇ ਤਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਈਐ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥

When the Dear Lord grants His Grace, we meditate on the Naam. ||1||

ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਾਚਾ ਨੇਹੁ ਪੂਰੇ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੈ ਜੀਉ ॥

Deep within, I feel true love for the Perfect True Guru.

ਹਉ ਤਿਸੁ ਸੇਵੀ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤਿ ਮੈ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਵੀਸਰੈ ਜੀਉ ॥

I serve Him day and night; I never forget Him.

ਕਦੇ ਨ ਵਿਸਾਰੀ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਸਮੑਾਰੀ ਜਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਲਈ ਤਾ ਜੀਵਾ ॥

I never forget Him; I remember Him night and day. When I chant the Naam, then I live.

ਸ੍ਰਵਣੀ ਸੁਣੀ ਤ ਇਹੁ ਮਨੁ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਪੀਵਾ ॥

With my ears, I hear about Him, and my mind is satisfied. As Gurmukh, I drink in the Ambrosial Nectar.

ਨਦਰਿ ਕਰੇ ਤਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਮੇਲੇ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਬਿਬੇਕ ਬੁਧਿ ਬਿਚਰੈ ॥

If He bestows His Glance of Grace, then I shall meet the True Guru; my discriminating intellect would contemplate Him, night and day.

ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਾਚਾ ਨੇਹੁ ਪੂਰੇ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੈ ॥੨॥

Deep within, I feel true love for the Perfect True Guru. ||2||

ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲੈ ਵਡਭਾਗਿ ਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਰਸੁ ਆਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥

By great good fortune, one joins the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation; then, one comes to savor the subtle essence of the Lord.

ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਰਹੈ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਇ ਤ ਸਹਜਿ ਸਮਾਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥

Night and day, he remains lovingly focused on the Lord; he merges in celestial peace.

ਸਹਜਿ ਸਮਾਵੈ ਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਭਾਵੈ ਸਦਾ ਅਤੀਤੁ ਬੈਰਾਗੀ ॥

Merging in celestial peace, he becomes pleasing to the Lord's Mind; he remains forever unattached and untouched.

ਹਲਤਿ ਪਲਤਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਜਗ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਗੀ ॥

He receives honor in this world and the next, lovingly focused on the Lord's Name.

ਹਰਖ ਸੋਗ ਦੁਹਾ ਤੇ ਮੁਕਤਾ ਜੋ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਕਰੇ ਸੁ ਭਾਵਏ ॥

He is liberated from both pleasure and pain; he is pleased by whatever God does.

ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲੈ ਵਡਭਾਗਿ ਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਰਸੁ ਆਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥

By great good fortune, one joins the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation, and then, one comes to savor the subtle essence of the Lord. ||3||

ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ਦੁਖੁ ਹੋਇ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਜਮਿ ਜੋਹਿਆ ਜੀਉ ॥

In the love of duality, there is pain and suffering; the Messenger of Death eyes the self-willed manmukhs.

ਹਾਇ ਹਾਇ ਕਰੇ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤਿ ਮਾਇਆ ਦੁਖਿ ਮੋਹਿਆ ਜੀਉ ॥

They cry and howl, day and night, caught by the pain of Maya.

ਮਾਇਆ ਦੁਖਿ ਮੋਹਿਆ ਹਉਮੈ ਰੋਹਿਆ ਮੇਰੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਕਰਤ ਵਿਹਾਵਏ ॥

Caught by the pain of Maya, provoked by his ego, he passes his life crying out, "Mine, mine!".

ਜੋ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਦੇਇ ਤਿਸੁ ਚੇਤੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਅੰਤਿ ਗਇਆ ਪਛੁਤਾਵਏ ॥

He does not remember God, the Giver, and in the end, he departs regretting and repenting.

ਬਿਨੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਕੋ ਸਾਥਿ ਨ ਚਾਲੈ ਪੁਤ੍ਰ ਕਲਤ੍ਰ ਮਾਇਆ ਧੋਹਿਆ ॥

Without the Name, nothing shall go along with him; not his children, spouse or the enticements of Maya.

ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ਦੁਖੁ ਹੋਇ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਜਮਿ ਜੋਹਿਆ ਜੀਉ ॥੪॥

In the love of duality, there is pain and suffering; the Messenger of Death eyes the self-willed manmukhs. ||4||

ਕਰਿ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਲੇਹੁ ਮਿਲਾਇ ਮਹਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਜੀਉ ॥

Granting His Grace, the Lord has merged me with Himself; I have found the Mansion of the Lord's Presence.

ਸਦਾ ਰਹੈ ਕਰ ਜੋੜਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮਨਿ ਭਾਇਆ ਜੀਉ ॥

I remain standing with my palms pressed together; I have become pleasing to God's Mind.

ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮਨਿ ਭਾਵੈ ਤਾ ਹੁਕਮਿ ਸਮਾਵੈ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਮੰਨਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥

When one is pleasing to God's Mind, then he merges in the Hukam of the Lord's Command; surrendering to His Hukam, he finds peace.

ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਜਪਤ ਰਹੈ ਦਿਨੁ ਰਾਤੀ ਸਹਜੇ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇਆ ॥

Night and day, he chants the Lord's Name, day and night; intuitively, naturally, he meditates on the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

ਨਾਮੋ ਨਾਮੁ ਮਿਲੀ ਵਡਿਆਈ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮੁ ਮਨਿ ਭਾਵਏ ॥

Through the Naam, the glorious greatness of the Naam is obtained; the Naam is pleasing to Nanak's mind.

ਕਰਿ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਲੇਹੁ ਮਿਲਾਇ ਮਹਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥੫॥੧॥

Granting His Grace, the Lord has merged me with Himself; I have found the Mansion of the Lord's Presence. ||5||1||

Guru Ramdas Ji • Raag Dhanaasree • Ang 690

Monday, August 31, 2026

Somvaar, 16 Bhadon, Nanakshahi 558

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, I am a Robot. Bleep Bloop.

Powered By GurbaniNow.

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone has the link to Punjab 1984 with English subtitles?

Thank you!

Firstly I do not condone motorcycles. I do not encourage anyone to ride them. They are extremely dangerous and I have had to witness many people riding in the same group as me die in front of my very eyes and then have to stand at their funeral. I’m not telling anyone to ride it is stupid but I do stupid things but do not follow and ride without understanding how dangerous it is.

Im from the us, I know bikes are more common in other places but seem less common here in the states. I ride a sport bike but I was told this would be seen a huge red flag since it’s “dangerous and immature”.

So I’m asking here because I don’t know if other Sikhs have had this issue. I know our community is not too fond of bikes at least as far as I know.

A bit background - I’ve been arranged with this girl to marry and by next year before march is when the date is supposed to be. we are both under 21 so many people around us are against due to age and stuff but the parents both sides are in support so that’s that. Do intend for this to be a Sikh wedding and live in accordance to Sikhi but she is more Sikh than me. Also I know her from back when we were younger as her mom used to be my teacher in Punjabi class at the gurdwara. But we didn’t really know each other actually until we both graduated and then apparently I never knew but our grandparents were hella close back in the day so they said it would be good as both families are good as they said. I liked her right when they showed me her and then got to know her and they were right.

I’m now talking to her (like in the getting to know for marriage stage) and have not told her I ride and I’ve only taken a car when going to her and her parents even though that’s the only time I will drive a car other than that I ride my bike. I don’t know if this means I’m lying. I haven’t gotten rejected in the past for it or anything bc this is literally the first girl I’m talking to but all my family thinks I should stop riding and that if I tell her she will take it as a huge red flag. On the other hand all my friends say she won’t care. I’m the youngest out of my friend group so idk what to make of this even tho they are all married and older than me so they have more experience and wisdom but o don’t want to ruin it with this girl. I ride daily and it’s my main vehicle. i also ride a lot for fun. I have a car too but I basically will only ride it for maintenance purposes other than that it sits. It’s weird and I know it’s bad I haven’t told her yet because it’s one of my biggest hobbies and I spend a lot of time riding like on weekends and on the track or xc. So it’s like I’m hiding a huge part of me from her. I know it is dangerous and have seen many people get hurt or die and have gotten into accidents myself although I made it out safe luckily. What am I supposed to do? I don’t intend on stopping riding but I don’t want to tell this girl and she take it badly. Then again if she really is against riding I would hate for her to find out later rather than sooner. Also we are kinda far along in the process like we both intend to marry and the last thing I want is to lose this. I literally have struck gold. I now regret not telling her sooner but in the beginning I just didn’t know how she would take it? She is super nice and kind but she gets scared very easily. Like she won’t skydive cliff jump or anything. Also I know we like each other but I just can’t predict her reaction I don’t know because I thought always that it’s no big deal but apparently so many people hate bikers and just never want to see a biker or a bike. And yes I do ride like an idiot so that makes it worse. It’s usually when I get with friends and we go over 150 mph popping wheelies. Other than this one thing everything is literally going so well and smooth.

The one thing which is iffy is she hates when I wear the durag style patka which I do a lot but it’s literally because I’m always riding so it’s easier but she wants me to either not have it or wear a pagg and idk how to explain it other than telling her I have stupid hobbies

So now since it’s super serious and the date is being discussed literally I feel like I need to come clean. I have people in my ear saying I need to tell her and other people saying o don’t because it’s not a big deal and that even if she cares she will get over it or get distracted by marriage kids etc but I just got a feeling that it can go south quick if I don’t say anything now. Then again it’s like now I cant imagine being with anyone else so if this fs up my marriage to be there’s no way I can live it down or up or whatever it’s called.

Hello all,

My hunger to experience God in this life has led me to the threshold of the Sikh path.

Briefly, my background is that I am 40 y/o male, white, and I live in the Twin Cities metro area of MN. I have a family, but this journey is my own. My wife is a very secular, non-practicing Muslim.

I’m currently reading Sikhism: A Very Short Introduction by Eleanor Nesbitt and Poems from the Sikh Sacred Tradition, translated by Nikky-Guninder Kaur Singh, to get a sense of Sikh development, historical context, beliefs and exposure to excerpts of the Guru Granth Sahib.

I did visit a gurdwara today after reaching out to a contact on the sangat’s website, letting them know I was interested in visiting, and getting encouragement/approval to visit. Although I did leave a voicemail, this all occurred via text. 😂 The gurdwara was certainly open, but I wouldn’t say it was necessarily welcoming. I received some curious looks, but largely, I was left to myself. This was totally fine as it’d be hubris of me to expect people to focus on my presence rather than on worship. More on why I mention this experience in a moment.

I would like to continue to learn more about Sikhi, but more importantly, I’d like to also start experiencing and practicing the Sikhi path. With the context I just provided:

1. What are the next practical steps I can take to experience the Sikhi path?
   
2. Are there any good resources out there that are sort of starter guides or quick start guides for beginners?
   
3. What should I do to try to connect with the local sangat if I continue to visit the gurdwara, particularly if people remain disinterested or cautious about my presence? I’m naturally shy and introverted myself, so I would not necessarily go out of my way to engage with me if I were in their shoes, so to speak.

I will continue to read and learn, and in due time, learn Gurmukhi if I continue on this path, but I’m really looking for practical steps I should take to live and experience Sikhi now at a beginner level to feel in my heart, and not just my mind, what it means to be Sikhi.

Thank you for your time and insight in advance. I hope my anecdote did not come off negatively, as that’s not my intention. What I’ve read and experienced so far has overall been lovely and positive, and I thank God for providing me the means to learn more about Sikhi.

Does it look good?

I am very intrigued by this question. I know both parents play a part. Though, ultimately which parent's influence matters more towards a daughter becoming secular or daughter becoming Strong in her Gurmat?