After fighting for 8 months over 1 over night, the court ruled in my favor yesterday granting me joint custody and 50/50.

Equal parenting. Equal rights. Equal rules.

Not sure about you guys, but I want nothing to do with dating. I’ve been separated two years now and I love being on my own. I just want to spend time with my kids work save money and hit the gym. Women just bring emotional problems. They drain your wallet and yeah, it’s just more problems with them always so many better things to do with my time then spend it cuddling with a woman or going out for drinks with them.

I could care less about any relationship and I’m happy about it - anybody else feel like this?

Looking for some perspective from other single dads who have been through something similar.

My ex and I were together for 11 years and we have a young son together. I’ll own my part in how things ended. For a lot of our relationship I wasn’t very affectionate and said things like I didn’t love her. There were ways I mistreated her and took the relationship for granted.

She also believes I cheated on her, which I genuinely never did. Since we broke up I have been with other women, which she knows about and has made comments about.

Our breakup got extremely messy. Attorneys, court, custody issues, resentment, all of it. At one point she moved about three hours away while our son remained primarily with me. Eventually she moved back and we were able to reach a permanent parenting agreement.

A big issue between us now is that she says i really, really hurt her. I never really apologized or acknowledged how much I hurt her until recently. Her family is all against me, and it sucks because I was the only one there for so many years . I understand that because there are things I absolutely could have handled differently, and I’ve told her that.

At the same time, I don't believe everything that went wrong was solely because of me. I’m pretty self-aware about my own faults, but she has her own issues too. She has had serious falling outs and problems with a lot of people in her life, not just me. That doesn't excuse anything I did, but after 11 years together, I don't think our relationship can accurately be summed up as one person hurting the other.

And despite everything, when things were good between us, they were genuinely great. The end was not.

She still regularly tells me how much I hurt her. My response has basically been that I can't change what already happened. All I can do is acknowledge where I went wrong, show that I care now, and see where things go, if anywhere.

That's where I'm torn.

Part of me thinks I should stop trying completely. Let the relationship stay dead, focus entirely on being good co-parents, and accept that maybe too much happened.

The other part of me thinks 11 years and a family are worth at least seeing whether something different could eventually grow out of all this. Not forcing reconciliation or pretending the past didn't happen, but actually showing through my actions that I care and that I'm not the same person I was toward the end of our relationship.

We both agree that our son comes first. We also both agree that, all else being equal, having two involved parents working together is better for him. I think there's still a lot of pride and resentment preventing us from figuring out whether there's anything between us beyond co-parenting, but obviously that's my interpretation and I could be completely wrong.

I also realize I'm asking this in a single dads group, so responses may naturally lean toward "move on and focus on your kid." I'm genuinely interested in hearing from people who have actually been through this, though.

If you were together that long, had a child together, the breakup became extremely ugly, but there was still some connection underneath all the resentment (which there may not be but I could be wrong), would you leave it alone and let whatever is left die, or would you continue showing through your actions that you care without actively pursuing her and just see what happens knowing when a good relationship in the same household is a good one, it helps the kid.

My daughter is 3 and mainly stays with me. She starts school next week, and I bought all her school clothes, shoes, and supplies. Her mom wants me to bring everything to her house, even though I'll be the one taking our daughter to school. I'm confused about why, and she called me bitter but won't even tell me what school our daughter is going to. I'm not trying to argue or keep anything from her. I just want to understand why she wants everything there.

I love them to bits and they’re my world, but fugg me this is relentless. When does it stop sucking?

My ex decided it be best that we divorce. Its been a few weeks since that conversation happened. Ive been keeping myself busy as to not fall into depression. Im running low on stuff to do and now that im not as emotional as I was ive had time to think about what I should do. I love my child. Its extremely difficult to only see them on the weekends. To have a king size bed i never wanted be completley empty. But since ive had time to think; I thinking I need a fresh start out of state. I have a buddy who's interested in being my roommate and is fine with moving to whatever state. But im debating if I should even do it because of my child. Yes I dont see them often but at least I see them everyweekend. But I feel like im being asphyxiated by just staying here. I need some guidance. Some outside povs from other parents. My friends here say I should do it but they dont have kids. Im not going to be like my dad and leave my child but realistically weekends wouldnt be an option id have to take a week off from work every few months to see them and have them be at my new place for a period of time. (My child isnt even old enough to be in pre k so I cant leave them alone and idk anyone in the new state so they could babysit). What do you guys think?