My spouse recently opened up a new custody case against her ex for my stepdaughter after about 10 years of trying to work with him outside the court. He lives in another state, has made minimal attempts to spend time with his daughter, is not actively involved in day to day life, and up until April has paid less than NM state guidelines in child support. He has not paid child support at all since then and has not contributed anything financially for medical expenses, activities, etc. for about 8 years now. Mediation is looming for my spouse and not knowing what to expect is a bit scary for her. She is seeking full custody at this point but had been scared to move forward with opening a case due to ex being physically, verbally, mentally, and financially abusive in the past. Just looking for any general advice or people with similar situations to share their stories, either so she can have an idea of what to expect and/or reassurance.

My daughter is 3 and mainly stays with me. She starts school next week, and I bought all her school clothes, shoes, and supplies. Her mom wants me to bring everything to her house, even though I'll be the one taking our daughter to school. I'm confused about why, and she called me bitter but won't even tell me what school our daughter is going to. I'm not trying to argue or keep anything from her. I just want to understand why she wants everything there.

I have a 5 month old, his father and I recently broke up. I live in another state as of 2 months ago, father lives in Illinois where child was born. I work and am in school full time here in Florida, and stay with my parents until I can save money to move out. He lives with his mother and works full time. We previously lived together in our own place. Our agreement before I moved was that I would stay with my parents so they could provide childcare while I worked and saved for our place as I couldn’t afford childcare in Illinois, and he would move here October the latest. Since our breakup he decided he wants to take legal action and make me move back because he only wanted to move to Florida to be with me (I thought it was because it was a better life for our son) I have no family or support system where my ex lives, and his family is unreliable and has animosity and hatred toward me since the beginning of our relationship 2 years ago. I provide for my son financially, his father has not contributed since I moved. I am on wellfare until I can get back on my feet. My worst fear is being back in a place where I have no one, my depression was terrible while pregnant and even worse postpartum when I wasn’t in Florida. My family paid for his plane ticket to come visit before we broke up and he will be here this week for a week. I’m more than happy to coparent and I wish we could remain friendly and give our son two parents that get along but I feel betrayed and blindsided by his change of mind. I guess what I’m asking is will I have to move back to Illinois where I have no where to live, and no family? Or worse, will I have to be apart from my baby? Thank you for any and all advice in advance.

[pa] hello all. Recently i have come across the thought of fighting for custody for my little brother. I am 23, i have a very new but stable job and an apartment with my fiancé ,25. He also has a very stable job. My parents have gone off the deep end after an affair. Usually it subsides after a couple of days but my mother’s mental stability is 10x worse and she’s refusing help as well as possibly using substances. I have message proof that my brother wants to be with me, voice memos of mental instability, photo proof of physical violence and the aftermath while he was in the house, video proof of violence, and text messages. I’m so scared to actually go through with it but i know it might be for what’s best. What do i even do to go through with it?

My BM is upset because I won't switch a week.

For context, I get Thursday 3:30 PM to Monday evening the first two weeks of the month, and she gets that the last two weeks of the month.

I don't want to switch to avoid confusion. The reason for the switch I don't find relevant. And now she has said "ill figure something out"

She made an IG post on her 12k public profile asking if someone is available to watch our child (I'd say 16 months old at that time). If that would come up in court, how bad does that look if I can express my concern that she's comfortable with strangers watching our child and likely to ask someone else before me or the grandparents?

Of course, if anyone has experience with this or something similar, thank you.

My ex and I divorced in early 2018 judge dismissed paperwork that included our minor son (born during marriage, ex on birth certificate) stating that she is not a legal parent because she did not adopt him. Long story short a couple years later she moved back in with me and two other women, as roommates, in her own room, to be closer to her son. I was pregnant at the time. We were not together, she is not on second child’s bc. She lived with us for 3.5 years. Did not take on a true parenting role in the entire time. Left out of town for her days off, paid rent as a roommate, didn’t ever check in about childcare, had to fight for her to help in any way with kids.
Eventually she got a new girlfriend, and decided to step up as a parent. I allowed this with her son, and because she lived with us MY son also loved her. Let me clarify she did not act like my son’s parent, and it was made clear on several occasions she was not his parent.

After moving out my son goes with his brother on visits because he misses him and her and her wife. They haven’t lived with us for a year and everything was going great. No custody issues, they took the boys for maybe 3/4 nights a month, we do day trips and family holidays and vacations together, her wife is my best friend. All of the sudden because I asked for some financial support for school clothes/supplies she decides she’s entitled to take them 3 full days of the week and proceeds to do so for a month before I tell her it’s not working for me because I don’t ever see them (she takes them 3 of my 4 days off) and my oldest was extremely emotionally distraught by the drastic change.
I pushed for her to only take them for two days instead, and now feel as if they are going to file for a custody agreement/visitation
What is the likely outcome of the case? I don’t feel as she can prove “in loco parentis” for my son as she never provided as a true parent for him, and lived with us as a roommate and not my partner but idk because I’ve allowed him to go with my oldest on their “parenting time”
I don’t wish to take away visitation from them, I just don’t think that three of my days off of the week is appropriate.

I (39F) am ending a 14 year relationship with my son’s father (M40) in the near future. Our son is 4 and just started school, we are not married, and I own the home. My mother lives with us and has handled childcare while I work from home for the last 4 years.

I am trying to learn more about custody and what I can realistically expect to be granted. I would love full custody, but is that highly unlikely if there are no documented major red flags that I can present? 

I think my son’s father is going to get lazy and not want to pick up more parenting responsibilities when we split up. In my mind, it seems best to go for as much time as I can get and adjust through verbal agreement if my son’s father and I can be cordial and work together. This would be a bit of a miracle, but I am willing to do whatever I can to keep things as kosher as possible. Unfortunately, he is the type that I could see weaponizing our son and fighting for more time out of spite. 

I don’t want our son to be plopped down in front of a TV or video games when he’s under his father’s watch, but it feels like there is no legal way to document lazy parenting (aka when the father lies on the couch on his phone the whole time he’s watching our son). I don’t know how to document emotional outbursts, emotional abuse, mental manipulation, etc. either. 

I am not coming from a place of malice, nor do I want to take my child away from his father. I currently do all of the heavy lifting when it comes to parenting, and I don’t see my partner changing once we are living separately. I honestly don’t see him doing a great job of just taking care of himself as an adult human because he’s never really had to. 

Was there anything that totally caught you off guard that you wish you had known prior to seeking custody? I’m trying to be as prepared as possible, as I want to keep the issues/conflict to a bare minimum!

Mediation with an infant resulted in 50/50 EOW, joint legal and physical. Mom petitioned to modify for physical primary when baby was a year old due to dad’s delegation of parenting time for work, etc. mom states she’s available while dad’s at work long hours and grandma does his day care. Dad countered with also asking for physical primary. Mediation failed. Going to court. Parents live 45-50 minutes apart. Dad’s hours away from baby during his custody time have increased more now due to extended weekend work requirements. Dad’s worried judge is going to modify custody in mom’s favor or change the schedule to better fit both parent’s availability. Also, since no primary parent was listed, is judge likely to define one now? And who gets school district when baby starts school in two years? Mom has final decision making authority over school, will that be a factor in determining school district? Anyone have experience with a case like this? What’s the judge likely to do.

Is it possible to go back to court and change a custody agreement giving the father less time?

Elementary age children. He won’t let them do extracurriculars they want (sports, school events, etc) if they fall on his time. He won’t switch days to allow them either. Even school events, like meet the teacher/supply drop off. I try offering to switch days, take them and bring them back, so they can still go but he won’t. He will guilt them if they say they want to do something. They are scared to voice their opinions with him. He is very controlling and manipulative. Legally, is there anything I can do? If I went back to court, could I get his amount of time lowered? I just don’t know how else to help my kids. I hate they are missing out on things they want to do because it inconveniences him.

I don't have any concerns about my apartment itself but I'm worried about my living arrangements.

It's a 3 bedroom. My brother is on the lease and has the master bedroom. My oldest son has a room but he lives with his dad and is home for summer and winter breaks.

The third bedroom is small so I made the living room into my bedroom. The issue is I've allowed my friend and her daughter to stay with us as she is escaping an abusive relationship. They have the third room and I'm worried this will look unfavorable for having ppl stay with me and bc the baby doesn't have his own room. He is almost 1 yr old.

My friend has honestly overstayed her welcome and I am ready to end this arrangement but wondering if I need to make a decision now pending the house visit.

Nex is 38 yrs old and lives with his parents in a 3bdroom house with a finished basement. I'm sure they have made a room for the baby. He and his mother have called CPS 3 times since baby was born and want primary custody. GAL said he is only considering 50/50 at this time but didn't say who would have primary.

Any thoughts on this situation?

My ex husband and I have been split for over two years and both happily in our step parent relationships that entire time (amicable dissolution, despite rocky marriage, we both were done long before we split).

Our daughter is 6 and just started 1st grade. We have been doing a 2/2/5 custody split and 50/50 holidays this whole time, no child support, and it’s been working fine.

Today he called and told me he’s going to be taking himself to check into inpatient care and that she will need to stay with stepdad and I for the next 1-2 weeks while he regulates his bipolar and meds. He spoke with her on speaker and told her he was going to the hospital for his “brain” and that he wouldn’t be able to see her for a while but he will be thinking about her and he loves her. She said it back and they sent kisses and hugs to each other and it was sweet. I talked to him after and said to do what he needs to do, that it’s no problem, etc. He was grateful and humble about it. Stepmom said she would keep me posted.

I’m conflicted bc just in the hour or two since, it’s clear our daughter doesn’t understand what’s going on. She’s barely comprehended it and can’t focus too well on the convo and we don’t want to try to keep her talking about it if she doesn’t want to.

Also, on a personal note, I suffered a lot during the marriage at the hands of his mental health. The yelling, belittling, mind games, constant cheating, but having to stick around bc he was so weak and depressed and sad, the sexual manipulation, the list goes on. And the final straw being how much he screamed at me while I was pregnant about not wanting to be a father and how hard I tried to leave then but how much he clung to me, then kept yelling at me once she was born until one day I had to say enough was enough and ask for a real divorce bc I couldn’t stand her seeing him be so ugly towards me. Then the fear of how he is alone with her is just something I’ve had to try to deal with in my own therapy bc it’s nothing I could prove in court. Which has also been a barrier to ever even considering going back for more custody.

I truly am grateful that he’s seeking help and getting the help he needs. He was completely undiagnosed and unwilling to get a therapist when we were together for 14 years. But I’m hitting a wall with how to cope with it. Has anyone dealt with similar situations? How have you spoken to your kids about their other parents mental health issues? Is this something that might be useful down the line? I don’t want to “take” her from him since she currently doesn’t get it and wants to be with him, but not if he’s a danger to her mental wellbeing.

I am a man with a dv order of protection and temporary custody of my daughter, my ex partner has been to jail on multiple occasions for domestic violence cases, 2 related to me and one related to another previous partner, he got a long term order of protection against her and I am going to court on monday, she has legal representation and I am going prose, im concerned that im gonna get ripped apart, i recognize that my case is a lot stronger currently but I am concerned about the current state of things, i just got out of a mental health facility right before I filed for the protection order after my ex almost broke my nose and I became extremely suicidal due to a mix of being bipolar and not being able to afford meds, i recently lost my job too, I am now back on medication and back in therapy, i have applied for unemployment and i have multiple interviews lined up over the next week, I am aggressively pursuing a new position in my industry and am also aggressively pursuing treatment for my disorder again, im just worried, if anyone could give me some guidance on this i would appreciate it.

Hello, long message here…..

My son recently turned 15 years old, and we live in a different state from his dad
(11 hours and 28 min away). His dad is originally from our home state and moved
to another state due to his job and other responsibilities. Recently, my son
stated that he wants to live with his dad.

But here is my issue: I've raised our son for the last 7 years as a single parent,
working, going to school to get my master's degree, getting my son to school,
football practices, etc. His dad gets him during the summer, and we alternate
Christmas and spring break. We have always coparented well, and we have always
gotten along well.

Until this past year, when I got engaged. Once I got engaged, my ex-husband started
pushing for my son to come out there, and my son had never mentioned it before.
Before my son went to his house for the summer, my son told us he did not want
to move in with his dad so far away from family. My son said it did not make
sense.

My son reached out to me during the summer while he was there and told me he
wanted to live with his dad, and I did look into it. I talked to my lawyer and
asked about the legal aspects behind it because of us being in two states. My
lawyer advised that, because I have primary physical custody, I need to keep my
son in our state and follow our custody plan.

I explained this to my son and his dad. My ex-husband was not happy and I found
messages between him and his dad. His dad told him, " I talked to my
lawyer, and my lawyer said I pretty much do not have any rights and if
you want to live here, We are going to have to wear your mom down.”

I know it is important for them to have a relationship, and I’ve always supported their relationship. My ex-husband has never really shown any interest in getting my son until now, once I got engaged, then married, and moved in with my husband. There have also been times my son could not get my ex-husband to pay for my son’s things because he would say he pays child support. 

His dad continuously text me, telling me I’m a piece of sh****, our son will hate me, and I’m a horrible person. 

I really just need a place to vent, guidance, and some advice on handling this situation 

I would also like to add I’m not against my son wanting to be with his dad and I told him if we were in the same state I would have no issue with it. The way our custody agreement is written up I would literally have to give up my rights to my son for him to move to another state because I’m his primary parent in our custody agreement.

has anyone ever dealt with putting an absent father on child support? How did it end up going for you? Did dad suddenly want custody or keep ignoring you and baby?

For context. Her dad has never met her. She’s 6 months old and is with me 24:7. I have sent him texts and updates, asks and needs, no answer. Nothing.

He ghosted us when I was 7 months pregnant.
A girl recently hit me up and revealed he has been hiding the fact he had a kid, and they’ve been together nearing 8 months. Even after finding out, she has decided to stay with him which I don’t care about.

However, now his sister says this is possible to motivate him to be in her life.

Quite frankly, he changed his number, had to be served by sheriff and this week did his dna. I don’t want him to want custody. But I want a real look at what happens in the real world, if any of you have similar experiences or knowledge of of such.

We live in Florida. He’s in Miami and I’m in Orlando. He wants 50/50 but the children are way too young. They have lived with me their entire life in the same home. I plan on putting them in daycare or some kind of vpk. Father is against vpk.

He’s being extremely bitter and doesn’t understand that it’s better the children are with me than be in a daycare while they’re young. He wants 50/50. I do not work, I take care of them full time. I have a very healthy savings.

What would they judge or mediation impose in this situation?

Hi everyone. Try to keep this short. Looking for advice on what you would do as a mother. I moved to NC w my toddler from MD, end of December. Her father let us, technically. Said he wasn't OK with it, but knows it's my only option. He has started visiting her here 2x a month. I don't have access to his money (I am/was a SAHM). He isn't paying child support or any financial support.

I have an appointment w a lawyer but not until October. When I ask that he pay child support, he starts saying he isn't ok w us being in NC. So, what would you do? File for divorce and custody knowing I could be forced back to MD. Or just leave it alone?

Looking for general experiences or observations
Situation in broad terms:

• Child is about 3 months old (initially breast fed, but transitioned her to bottle feeding. Hard at first, but she caught on)
• Temporary custody order already in place
• One parent currently lives with their parents (SLC) the other parent lives close by in Utah.

Curious what people have seen in similar situations regarding:
• How courts or temporary arrangements typically view a parent living with grandparents at this stage?
• What tends to happen next with the temporary order (stability, overnight schedules, transitions, etc.)?
• Any patterns you’ve noticed about how these cases usually progress when the baby is this young?

My ex is abusive. In every way. And I know him. He started a new relationship and I knew what would happen. And over 2 years the red flags built up more and more. And by the end I just KNEW there had to be fights going on. I knew. And I fought so hard to keep my child from experiencing it. But I couldn't. Even as things got soo absolutely bad, about two weeks ago his wife decided to finally leave and confess to me the abuse. And that the last few weeks were just, for a parent, literal hell to hear. My daughter sat in the middle of screaming matches, he would terrify the children to hurt her and manipulate her. He would get violent, punch walls, break things, ripped a door off the wall. And I don't know how much .y daughter directly saw, she's with me half the time. But the environment is undeniable. And she's been literally so messed up over the last few months from everything she's now in therapy and has been diagnosed with adjustment disorder with depression and anxiety. And that's BEFORE the worst of the abuse. She's been so neglected. And violence and abuse have been normalized to her. I have proof, of him assaulting the wife, of raping her, of punching walls, of the kids knowing what's going on. I just NEED this battle to be over. I need it to be. I am terrified I will go in, make my case and somehow they will respond, oh well, he'll take classes, send the child back to him. I really really just want someone to tell me, that won't happen. There's no way. The courts will not send my child back to an abuser. He has charges for assaulting me years ago. One was strangulation. But no one will say that, because no one knows how court will go and no one wants to make that promise or give me that hope. I know why. But it just furthers my fear. Please, they aren't gonna send her back, right? I'm requesting supervised visitation and classes. I don't want my child to not have a dad. But I won't let her be abused again. But I can't control that. But I'm gonna do everything I can.

I know relocation cases can be difficult, but I’m hoping to hear from parents who were able to relocate with their child (in my case I have an infant), especially to be closer to family/support. What factors helped your case, and how did the court view the relocation if the other parent opposed it?

If you tried and were unsuccessful, I’d also appreciate hearing about your circumstances and what happened. I’m just trying to understand what I can do to give myself the best chance.

Thank you!

Filed for divorce from spouse who has addiction issues but has been behaving. No overconsumption at home or when in care of kids, no blackouts, that is what I mean by behaving. We both have attorneys. I could agree to a custody schedule now which gives spouse about 40% (6 overnights in 14 days, max 2 nights in a row) or proceed with having a Guardian Ad Litem investigate. I had put off divorce for years bc I did not want to split time with someone I could not fully trust with the kids. They are still small.

I am torn because I have doubts about spouse's ability to parent, but spouse can be convincing, has been holding down employment and has not done anything harmful to or with the kids. Just some general childish behaviors. Of course, if spouse goes off the rails bc we all know moderation is difficult at best, I can probably have it modified in the future. I just want my kids to be safe, and also want us all to be away from the toxicity that has been looming around the home for years. I need to decide soon and wondering if anyone has advice, fight it or agree and pray. thanks.

I have an attorney my STBX is not hiring one. We have two children. Both are in daycare and one child is 17 months.

My understanding is that Texas doesnt like to split split siblings up and children under 3 dont use the standard possession timeline, but what is reasonable?

My attorney mentioned it really depends on the judge but what am I realistically looking at? No overnights with dad? 1 or 2 overnights? My STBX doesnt appear to care as he said have the court decide but what's reasonable for a child that young?

Obviously I want as much time with my children but realize its important to spend time with their dad but also both kids are REALLY attached to me. Especially the youngest will cry if Im in the room and not near or holding them.

What have you done/seen for young children?

We both work.

Two kids ages 2 and 4. Dad moved 2 hours away to move in with new partner and her kids (11 and 12). We were doing nesting where he’d come here EOWE and I’d leave, now new gf is in his ear and he’s asking for the kids to go there EOWE. Doesn’t care that they’re in programs on the weekends here (that they were in while we were married…) that they will have bday parties etc., or that it’s a lot of driving. He’s not involved in anything when he’s not here aka doesn’t call or know anything about their lives. Sent a lawyer letter asking to change the schedule immediately or go to mediation. I’ll do mediation otherwise we’ll go back to court, but from what I’ve heard, court may side with him bc my kids are still young? Advice or suggestions? I’m so sad and overwhelmed

I’m looking for general advice from parents who have experience with custody cases, CFIs/GALs, and protection orders, without sharing any identifying information.

In a custody case, the other parent made several allegations of domestic violence and safety concerns. During the case, four police reports were eventually provided to the CFI. After reviewing the reports, it appears that the reports contain allegations made by the other parent, but the police investigations did not result in criminal charges, and some of the reports were inactivated because police could not establish sufficient evidence for the alleged violations or conduct.

There is also a significant discovery issue: the other parent previously responded to written discovery that there were no responsive police or medical records, but the CFI later received four police reports, and one report references an alleged hospital visit.

The CFI is now reviewing these reports and additional information before completing her custody investigation and recommendations. There is also upcoming mediation regarding parenting time and decision-making.

I am trying to understand how situations like this are typically handled.

My questions are:

1. How might police reports that contain allegations but do not result in charges or substantiated findings affect a CFI/GAL's custody investigation?

2. Does the CFI generally consider the actual investigative findings and disposition of the police reports, rather than simply the allegations contained in them?

3. If the other parent failed to disclose responsive police or medical records during discovery and those records were later obtained, how might that affect the custody case or the CFI's evaluation?

4. Should a parent provide the CFI with a written factual response to the allegations and police reports, or is it generally better to allow the attorney to address them?

5. Could this type of evidence affect mediation negotiations regarding parenting time, decision-making, or supervised visitation?

6. If multiple professional supervised-visitation reports are positive and the police reports do not substantiate some of the allegations, could that potentially support a step-up from supervised to unsupervised parenting time, depending on the CFI's overall findings?

7. Would it generally be appropriate to discuss with an attorney whether the protection order should be modified, particularly if its restrictions are creating significant barriers to implementing parenting time?

I'm not asking anyone to determine who is telling the truth or to criticize either parent.