I have a 2.5yr old and a 2 month old. Im having difficulty managing my time between the two of them. We hardly go out anymore because of the hassle and my toddler is having a hard time with it.

We are still feeding about 3 times per night, so we arent sleeping as much as id like- which leaves me lacking the energy I feel I need to be the highly active dad ive been up to this point.

Advice? Consolation? Thanks.

Hey fellow SAHDs, I'm getting surgery in October and my spouse is taking a month off work to care for our almost 2 year old and me. I will not be able to lift anything over 10lbs or do repetitive movements for the first month and I'm trying to chart out what I do each day to make life easier for my ADHD spouse since I'll be on some hardcore pain meds for the first week or so.

1. I'm having a hard time with figuring out what we can let slide for a month/what doesn't really matter when it comes to household chores. Any advice?

2. I would love any meal prep suggestions that are easy to freeze. I haven't done multi-week meal preps before and feel a little lost.

3. Any cool ideas for things for my spouse and toddler to do together outside of the usual park/library/errands/splash pad that we usually frequent?

4. I would love any other advice/things I'm overlooking from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

I'm really excited for them to have this time together and grateful we live somewhere with leave options so I don't have to stress about finding a month of childcare.

Wife is a nurse, currently working day shift. Not a set in stone schedule, more build as you go. She's being offered a full time position but it's nights. 6 on 8 off. Oldest is in school, youngest probably wouldn't be able to handle mom being home and asleep during the day and would likely need to go to daycare. She's loud and rowdy and would definitely want all moms attention instead of letting her sleep. That would mean ya boy would have to work again, which I'm okay with. Has any other had to work with a similar schedule and how did it pan out?

I've been a stay at home dad for 4 months now, I moved to the US for my wife in July 2025 and had been taking care of my wife while she was pregnant. Lately I've felt extremely depressed, irritated and miserable.

I cook, clean, take care of all issues that pop up with the house and try to keep our home clean, our 3 cats and dog do not make it easy. I take care of the pool we got with the house (we didn't want one initially) but my wife's family likes to use it, I do whatever my wife asks of me and I enjoy taking care of her and our daughter but lately I've felt less joy because she acts as if I don't do anything at all.

I left my family back in the UK, I occasionally talk to my dad, I have a brother who suddenly stopped replying to me a few days before my daughter was born for an unknown reason, I haven't really got friends. And my main way of distracting myself is to play video games while my daughter sleeps but even that has become a problem because my wife gets irritated she doesn't get time to play games, she does. She just spends a lot of time getting frustrated with the games and then sits on tiktok half the time.

My wife works as that's the way she wanted it which is fine, I recently did some part time work and it was refreshing but I'm the last day my wife made a big stink about how she'd prefer if I didn't work and made me feel like shit for even wanting to bring in extra money.

Lately I've fell behind on cleaning and everything, started eating way worse than I normally do, I can't mow the lawn or be outside making sure everything is done like the pool, the weeds and her car clean because if I'm away from my wife and baby apparently I'm leaving her with the baby and she doesn't get to do anything. So I spend more time with our baby and the grass gets too long and it looks bad outside, I can't clean the house when the baby sleeps because my wife is worried I'll wake her up so I don't do it then, when she is awake I try but then I'm not with them enough and my wife can't do things she wants to do. So I feel like I can't do anything right and it's making me depressed and miserable,

Now I'll admit I can't stand mess in our house, dirty dishes, pet hair and dirt on the floor, unorganized rooms and whatnot to the extent I can't help but as I'm doing the cooking try to clean. It's all I'll think about as I'm doing other things.

I had a messed up childhood, abuse and sexual abuse, being starved, made to sit out in the rain with no key to my home, suffice to say I still struggle with extreme depression and I cannot hide the look on my face when I feel unhappy or hurt and it's hard to push the feelings down so I can carry on being this "amazing" dad and husband my wife tells her friends and family all the while making me feel useless and defeated when she's not feeling good.

I don't sleep enough each day, around 6 hours or 7 and I never mention If I'm feeling exhausted or tired because then my wife goes on a rant about how she's tired and feeling exhausted ( which I understand, she just gave birth 4 months ago and is breastfeeding and it's not easy) but she makes me feel awful for even feeling tired in my own head to the point I just push myself to do things all day never complain and just keep doing that.

I'm sorry if I make it sound like my wife's horrible, she isn't. I couldn't ask for a better wife and mom to my daughter, but lately she doesn't seem to care that I have any physical or mental issues myself, it always gets out on the back burner.

I've been feeling depressed to the extent I close my eyes and can't help but picture myself in terrible accidents and have intrusive thoughts of harming myself.

I'm not good at talking about how I feel with people, so bring all this up is hard for me and worries me I'll stress forget things or become to unsteady while speaking I'll just shut down

Sorry if this is not the right place for this and if stuff doesn't make sense I'll try and fill in with my information

My son is going into first grade in a few days. He's autistic and had a really hard time last year in kindergarten so I was pretty much on call all year in case he got sent home or had some other issue which happened pretty frequently.

This year he'll go to school in the morning and ABA in the afternoon and I'll have to do pickup and drop off for each so going back to work doesn't really feel like an option yet.

My question is what do you guys do while the kids are away to feel productive? There's chores and errands of course but I tend to mow through those pretty quickly. I get pretty down in the dumps when I run out of things to do and really has a negative impact on my self worth.

Any ideas for side hustles or ways to stay busy would be appreciated.

What's it like when you tell people you're a surfer and a SAHD?

I get a lot of raised eyebrows and snotty comments. I don't tell anyone I surf anymore. If you know the surf life, there isn't swell everyday and lots of flat spells where I'm not at the beach. But people watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High and assume surfers are all lazy bums.

Hey Gentlemen,

I’ve been a stay at home dad for so long that I almost have to stop and count the years. It has probably been 14 or 15 years now.

My wife and I both worked when our kids were little. We did daycare, then had an au pair. Eventually we realized that wasn’t how we wanted to raise our kids. We wanted one of us home full time. I was making decent money, but my wife’s career was really taking off. If we wanted to continue the life we were building, it was pretty clear which one of us should step away. So I became the SAHD. We have been incredibly fortunate as a family. Our kids are doing really well. We could not be more proud of them. I do not regret the decision, and the sacrifices have absolutely been worth it. Side note, I never pictured myself doing this…..and I’m a guy’s guy, sports, coaching, working with my hands, craft beer etc. That really has zero bearing on doing the job but just saying.

…..But now I’m almost 50. The kids are getting older, one in college and one only 2 years away….they aren’t even kids anymore! Plus, I’m looking at two elderly parents out of state that who are going to need more and more help. Sometimes it feels like the cycle never really ends. For most of my adult life, my role has been to facilitate everyone else’s life. Kids, house, schedules, family, whatever needs to happen, I make it happen. Then I try to find some time for myself somewhere in what is left. Oh and my wife is amazing and the absolute best partner in life and I am the luckiest man alive to call her my wife and mother of my children but this isn’t really about her, it’s about how this journey has been for me as an individual, if I can say that without sounding harsh.

I’m smart enough to know the things I probably need to do for myself. That really isn’t what I’m asking.
What I’m wondering is whether there is actually anyone else out there like me. I honestly cannot remember the last time I met another guy who was a SAHD, especially someone who is my age.

Sometimes I feel like there is literally nobody else who took this path as long as I have. Nobody around me can really relate to it. Because we are fortunate financially and have a great family, there is also this feeling that I should just be grateful and not say any of this out loud. I am beyond grateful. I would make the same decision in a heartbeat . But this is about how being a SAHD has affected me personally, for such a long time. I am going to try and build a life for myself going forward since I’m pretty much done being a SAHD…. Balance is gonna be more difficult than I thought going forward.
Lots of mixed emotions combined with real world acknowledgement of being a SAHD for so long.

I just sometimes wonder if there are any other guys out there who have lived something similar and can relate…..Anyone?

I’ve gotta get back to work. I’ve been a SAHD since covid but the kids are all into junior high now. I’m sick of asking for money, explaining my purchases, and having my partners family think i’m a deadbeat. I do all the cleaning, all the errands, all the laundry, all the school pick ups/events… and still this family thinks im lazy. They all have maid services. Not us.

But, how to get a job? Applying online is pointless and degrading. Why can’t you just apply for a job in a store? I’ve been out of the work force too long. i regret it.

rant over...

How do some of you SAHD's manage stress? I have been a sahd for 2 plus years now to a 3 and 5 year old and some days they do a number on me with the arguing and bugging.

I’ve been a SAHD for over 6 months and in these 6 months I can say only that my mental health, emotional and physical wellbeing has overall spiraled into an abyss. I used to have a straight forward path through life. Work jobby job, come home, help wife, repeat. Now that she has the better paying job, I just exist as this abstract to the world. I have no presence in anyone’s lives except for my kids. I hear people are concerned with the idea of there being “no more third spaces” that being somewhere you can go other than work or home without being expected to spend significant money, but what happens when you don’t even have a second space? I am a ghost of a man that’s only anchor to the world is raising kids. I love my family but I don’t know how much longer I can exist in this purgatory of household. Putting the kids in any sort of daycare is out of the question because putting 2 kids in there is almost more expensive than the money I’d make by working. All I do know for certain is that getting back into the workforce is going to be a shit show. Rambling concluded. I will now fade back into the nothingness that awaits me in day to day dad life

Hi dads, my wife and I are considering taking the leap soon ish. Main motivation is being able to have more family time, less stress and to really just enjoy this era as much as possible. I’m 31, and have one kid who is almost 15 months. Plan on having 1 or two more in the next 5 years or so. So my questions for the community are
1. Do you enjoy being a sahd? What are the joys and challenges?
2. Anything that I should consider that was hard to see from outside?
3. What planning steps did you take for returning to the workforce?

Hello. I'm looking for a bit of advice. My kids are getting older and spending more time out on their own, and I’d feel a lot better having a simple way for us to share locations with each other. I’m not trying to constantly track them or invade their privacy, I just want to be able to check that they got where they were going safely, especially when they’re out late or traveling somewhere alone. I’ve been looking at Life360, HeyPolo, and Google maps, but honestly I’m a little worried about giving an app access to our location 24/7. Which one is actually safest when it comes to privacy and personal data? I’d also really like something that doesn’t drain everyone’s battery or randomly show the wrong location. Has anyone found best location sharing app they actually trust and feel comfortable having on their kids’ phones?

theinkandquill.com

I have three kids and have been a stay at home dad since 2020. My wife has worked as an engineer for a start up company and it’s been nothing, but stress with the ups and downs. I thought I’d be a fun dad, but I basically spend all day grumpy and it seems like I am getting angry at my kids all day.

My house is such a mess that I don’t even let people come over and have lost friends because of it. My basement is full of junk and we’ve only ever used it a handful of times because of it. Most of it’s stuff we don’t use and a lot of it is my deceased father’s things that I am too heart broken to throw away even though he’s been gone since 2019.

It feels like all I do is laundry and tell my kids to stop arguing. I’ve turned in to an alcoholic as well. The last two days I’ve had 30 beer and I’ve found reasons to go down town to buy things just so I can go buy more beer for the last 6 years. My family is in kyokushin karate and I routinely show up hammered and I don’t know how I haven’t been kicked out. I have been invited to fight in the provincials for sparring and just don’t know how I’m doing it.

I usually smoke a joint at 11pm and then I end up staying up until 1-3am beating myself up about my whole life. I end up sleeping until 8:30-9am daily as my wife has to start the day. She’s aware I’m having issues, but I don’t think she understands how bad it is.

When I was young my dad was in major accident and severally disabled. He then fought cancer for ten years before we took him off life support. My youngest son was born with a birth defect and I am just so worried my children are being effected by me because I can’t get it together and let the past stop haunting me. My doctor wants me to go to therapy and has tried me on ssris, but the pills made me so weird for over a year that I am too scared to try them again. I also can’t even face therapy because I feel like I’d be laughed at.

Has anyone ever been like this and gotten out?

**I forgot to add on top of this my wife was laid off and we’ll have to sell our house and move for work

Alright dads, it’s National Tooth Fairy Day and time for a quick sanity check.

What is the current payout per tooth at your place? Are you doing coins, crisp bills, or whatever cash you scrambled to find in the couch cushions at 11:30 PM?

Drop your going rate or your closest Tooth Fairy near-miss below!

Hi, just wanted to share my situation and hear and thoughts or advice or ideas.

I have a 16 month old. My wife was on maternity leave for almost 13 months. She went back part time in May. We were going to rely on grandparents for childcare but quickly learned that wasn't a solution. Eventually decided me stepping away from employment for a year was the right call. I've been an early employee at a slow to grow start up for several years now, told them I need to resign for family childcare reasons and they persuaded me to still do 8hrs a week (at almost double my previous hourly pay, and through a contracting agreement so I pay way less tax on it). We've been working funny and reduced hours the last few months as she ramps up in work and I ramp down, we're lucky to both have flexibility in our schedules and work from home.

So now the plan is to be full time dad and part time startup worker. My one day a week will be spread across naps, evenings, and grandparent visits. I've asked my parents to do two afternoons a week, if they come through on that then it shouldn't be too hard, but they're flaky so we shall see.

I'm so excited to make my child my primary focus and to have loads of time together as she starts talking more. Also anxious that part of my head will still be in work and I won't have as much energy/time for research and planning.

Has anyone maintained some part time work while being primary parent to a toddler?

Any advice for me at this stage of SAHDing?

We're planning for this to just be a year. I expect I'll phase out of work after 3-6 months and maybe get a new job next year or start a company and get some childcare support.

Hello to all the dads out there. I’m a stay-at-home dad, although it wasn’t really by choice. I’ve struggled with my mental health, and lately I’ve been feeling pretty alone in my situation.

I’m wondering if there are other stay-at-home dads out there who can relate and would be interested in connecting. It would be nice to meet someone who understands what it’s like to be a dad, stay at home, and deal with some of these struggles.

Even just having someone to talk to or share experiences with would mean a lot.

Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is doing well.

Maybe this is just more of “being a dad” in general, but sometimes I feel like being a SAHD and having so much interaction and time to bond with my kid over these past few years has turned me in to an emotional mess at times.

I’m fighting generations of old school masculinity and emotional unavailability to be try and be the best father and husband I can, but it just makes things so damn chaotic at times.

For example, yesterday I’m getting ready to mow the lawn and picking up land mines from the dog, and all of the sudden I hear this almost squeaking sound. I look down and see a tiny baby bird just in the grass trying to move around. I don’t know if it was abandoned or fell out of the nest, but this thing was so tiny and helpless and I couldn’t for the life of me find a nest anywhere.

I’m holding this tiny baby bird for 5-10 minutes walking around the yard, poking my through trees and bushes to see if there’s a nest anywhere and one part of my brain is going “this is nature, it happens” and then the other part of my brain is replaying my daughter as a newborn coming home for the first time and just how much she’s grown and wondering if the mom/dad are frantically searching for their little one.

Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day I’m glad I am (and a lot of us here as well as a lot of guys in general) are trying to be better with emotional availability, but it sure feels like it comes with a price, haha

Hey like that says I’m 33 I’m a dad who hangs out with the young one everyday until I go to work. Just looking for someone who has kids or don’t just looking for someone to talk to.

About 2 years ago we moved to RI and in the next year or two we might be moving to London. We've got a 3 year old and 5 year old(and a giant dog). I don't even know what to be worried about or how to find out what I should be preparing for. Does anyone have some "what I wish I knew before" advice for me?

It’s officially National Tell a Joke Day, which means the corny one-liners are fully authorized for deployment.

Whether your go-to puns get actual laughs or massive eye rolls from the kids, let’s see what everyone has in the vault today.

Drop your best (or absolute worst) dad joke in the comments!