r/TalesFromTheCustomer • u/SocratezNutz • 3d ago
The Odyssey Of Mary: A Supportal Into Madness
The following is a completely true transcript of me impersonating my mom (upon request) with customer support of the biggest vendor on the internet that apparently i'm not allowed to nAMe A ZONe or whatever...
Mary
Mary has joined the chat.
Mary
Chat with an associate now
An associate will join the chat.
Diane
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Diane
Hello, Mary! I hope you're doing great. How can I help you today?
Mary
Good (very early) morning, Diane š„±
Diane
Good morning to you too!
Mary
So here I was just browsing Amazon because thatās what old people do at 4am on a Sunday...
And noticed that the payment method for my rye subscription has changed.
I paid for it with the ebt snap card linked to this account, but when I went back to try and put it on the subscription, itās not even an option.
Diane
Thank you so much for bringing your concern to us, and I'm sorry to hear that your payment method for Prime has changed. No worries, I'll be more than happy to check this for you.
May I please know the last 4 digits of the card that you want to use for this subscription?
Mary
Not prime, the rye grains I signed up for as a subscription
Diane
Oh, I'm sorry.
One moment, please. Searching now the correct order.
Mary
Itās the EBT SNAP card. Itās a card I get to help with food costs.
Diane
Great River Organic Milling, Whole Grain, Rye Grain, Organic, 25-Pounds (Pack of 1)
May I please ask if that is the item in question for your Subscribe & Save subscription?
Mary
The items must qualify as food (from an authorized vendor; mostly Amazon) for me to be able to use it
Yes, maāam. Excuse me.
Diane
Thank you so much for confirming, and for the details you provided too. Please allow me one moment while I check this for you.
Mary
No need to thank me, Iām the one putting you to work haha.
Diane
I still want to thank you because you're one of the reasons why we still have work, although it is Sunday, I'm still truly grateful for this. I was able to check here on my end and to be able to help you, I will be needing to connect you to one of our Department who are trained to handle your concern. This is the best option we have to resolve this so please stay connected while I'm connecting this chat to them. Thank you for your understanding.
Mary
One second, my husband just turned the tv on. He needs it so loud⦠And while weāre at it, perky and bubbly everyone is on tv in the morning, can I? Wouldnāt you rather your news reported in the morning by some struggle of a soul seemingly on the wrong side of a full moon? grumpy and miserable and more interested in their cigarettes and cheerios than you⦠yet somehow, fleeting moments, each of you existed in the others reality as quite possibly the only thing in the world which they did not resent⦠, the two of you just . Mornings are for solidarity, not spirit all day, especially when witnessing grown people discuss things like seasonal shrub fungus awareness month or the SPF shortage at the local dumb people shelter?
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Jasper
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Jasper
Glad you've reached out to Amazon Payment Support where customer service is our top priority! Hello Mary, my name is Jasper.I'll be happy to assist you today. Please stay connected while I“m checking the previous correspondence. Thank You.
Mary
Hi jasper.
Jasper
Thank you for patiently waiting.
First, I would like to acknowledge and apologize for the fact that youāre facing inconvenience. Please no worries! Since you got me on the line, I'll do my best here to have this sorted out for you.
Mary
Weāre good, jasper. Yāall always take care of me.
Jasper
Upon checking, I see that we've charged $41.90 for "Great River Organic Milling" this item on Dec 26, 2024 from your SNAP EBT card and $29.26 for "Parafilm - HS234526A M Roll" this item is not eligible for that's the we've charged from your visa card on Dec 29, 2024.
I hope this helps?
Mary
Hmm. I see I havenāt been clear. Letās another go at this. That purchase was the first of a subscription (the rye) that I signed up for. But upon checking, itās set to charge my credit card for the next installment and I canāt set it to go back on my ebt card.
Make sense?
Jasper
Yes, I understand your concern.
Mary
Splendid, because I think Iām capped out on coherence at 4am šāāļø
Jasper
Since this item was "Parafilm - HS234526A M Roll, 250' Length x 2" Width" not eligible for EBT that's the reason your credit will be applied for the order.
Mary
But thatās not part of the subscriptionā¦
Ok. so had I have signed up for the subscription without anything else in the cart, Iād be allowed to use my ebt card?
Jasper
Yes, you can do that.
M
Iām not sure I believe you, Jasper. When I go into the subscriptionās change payment method menu, it doesnāt even display my ebt card as an option, not grayed out not unavailable, nothing.
And weāre thinking itās all because I paid for something else too when I signed up?
Jasper
Oh, I see. Okay, No worries, Please add items in your cart and let me know?
Mary
To what end?
Jasper
I request you to please add the items to your cart.
Mary
The subscriptionās first purchase it let me pay for the rye on my snap card. Itās the automatic recurring payments that arenāt giving me the option to put on that same card.
Are you able to see my subscriptions? These are purchases that arenāt checked out through the cart anymore.
Jasper
I would love to help you with your concern, but this is something that is beyond my scope. Don't worry I'll get you an expert that will resolve this for us in no time.
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Md
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Mary
Oh good, the Dr. is in
Md
I am sorry about that, In this case a member of our dedicated team will be the perfect person to help you with this. Let me connect you to them. It will only take a moment.
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VANAPARTHI
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VANAPARTHI
Hello , My name is Archana, I am here to help you today.
Please allow me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
Mary
4th timeās the charm? š¤·āāļø
VANAPARTHI
I am sorry about that, In this case a member of our dedicated team will be the perfect person to help you with this. Let me connect you to them. It will only take a moment.
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ROSHNI
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Mary
5th timeās the charm?
ROSHNI
Hello Mary Hope you are doing well š
I am taking this chat under my care now. Let me quickly check the previous correspondence to help.
Mary
oh, you know. At my age, every day is a Sunday.
ROSHNI
May I ask why ?
Mary
Why is every day a Sunday?
ROSHNI
Ohh cool !!
Mary
im retired š
ROSHNI
Okay great ! Enjoy your time :)
Coming back to your concern , you need help with EBT payment ?
Is it ?
Mary
It is. Did you review the conversation or shall I summarize?
ROSHNI
I reviewed it , please let me know the exact issue you are facing , so i can help you with the correct
Mary
Ok, yeah, letās do both. details matter. Here goes. I purchased the first bag of rye on my ebt card and signed up for the monthly subscription at the same time for the $ savings. I was just checking my upcoming subscriptions this morning, however, and noticed that the payment method for the next bag has been changed to my credit card (without notifying me, for the record) and is not giving me the option to put it back on my ebt card.
Rishabh
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Rishabh
Hi, I'm Rishabh. I'll be glad to help you today.
Mary
Oh my, #6.
Hi Rishabh. May you please be the sir Edmond Hillary of my problem this morning.
Rishabh
Allow me a moment while i go through above conversation.
Mary
The last message before I was rather abruptly transferred to you was something of a summary.
Rishabh
I do not see any subscription or orders in this account of yours. Do you have any other account?
Mary
Maybe weāve a miscommunication in semantics. Wouldnāt that be a mercy?
For clearnessās sake: On Feb 7, I believe, I am scheduled to purchase another bag of rye. This is also true of March 7, April 7, 5/7, and so forth repeating this pattern every month til I cancel. These purchases have not happened yet, but Iāve consented to the pattern so that the card on file will be charged this money without needing my attention each time.
Rishabh
I see. And there is issue to apply EBT payment on the purchase?
Mary
when I made the initial purchase, the one that registered me for these monthly recurring purchases (a āsubscriptionā where Iām from), I intentionally changed the payment method to my ebt card thatās been linked to my account for a long time, the checkout program recognized that the item did, in fact, qualify to go on the food card, we spit on our hands and shook and it was a done deal. Rye grains paid for with the ebt card and scheduled to repeat monthly.
The subsequence purchase, however, the first automatic one, has been set, without my permission, to charge my credit card and not the ebt. Moreover, itās not even giving me the option to change it back to the card I paid for the first one with.
God bless I noticed it before it charged me
Rishabh
Have you already made this subscription?
Mary
Maybe Iām succumbing to dementia here because I feel like Iām being really clear here and yet am alarmingly incapable of moving basic ideas from my mind to anyone elseās that Iāve spoken with this morning.
Hi #7 (and #8 and so forth). Iām going to try to be as clear as I possibly can one last time. On what seems like every item Amazon sells these days, there are two featured options for purchasing: 1. A one time purchase (please dont ask me to explain what this means) or 2. Signing up for a subscription constituted of recurring pre-authorized purchases, frequently at a discounted rate, the first of which occurring at the time of signup. The bag of rye at the heart of my apparent madness this morning was using option #2 and paid for with the EBT card registered to my account. I just checked the ensuing purchase, scheduled for Feb 7, however, and itās set to charge the purchase onto my credit card rather than the card i used when I agreed to our little monthly contract here. In fact, the payment menu for that item and purchase is not even displaying that card a a method registered to this account. Lastly, it needs to be noted that when initiating any other arbitrary purchase the ebt card maintains its existence and even remains fully functional on all (other) quality items.
Poonamkumari
Poonamkumari has joined the chat
Poonamkumari
Hello Mary, my name is Poonam,Welcome to Amazon Customer Service. Hope you & your family is safe & happy.
Mary
Hi Poonam. Hereās hoping youāll crack the code.
Poonamkumari
I request you to please give me a minute so that I could go through the chat.
Mary
Please review my message immediately prior to you joining the chat.
Poonamkumari
Yes please allow me a moment
Thanks for waiting
Mary
Sure, although itās looking like We may need to recruit Alan Turing for this apparent enigma
Poonamkumari
Just to confirm have you added the items in your cart?
Mary
holy shit. Really?
Is this a dream?
Poonamkumari
Let me check
Please allow me a moment to read the previous chat
Mary
Let me help:
(EDIT: I just copy/pasted the #7 and up summary a few times at this point out of utter frustration)
Hi #7 (and #8 and so forth). Iām going to try to be as clear as I possibly can one last time. On what seems like every item Amazon sells these days, there are two featured options for purchasing: 1. A one time purchase (please dont ask me to explain what this means) or 2. Signing up for a subscription constituted of recurring pre-authorized purchases, frequently at a discounted rate, the first of which occurring at the time of signup. The bag of rye at the heart of my apparent madness this morning was using option #2 and paid for with the EBT card registered to my account. I just checked the ensuing purchase, scheduled for Feb 7, however, and itās set to charge the purchase onto my credit card rather than the card i used when I agreed to our little monthly contract here. In fact, the payment menu for that item and purchase is not even displaying that card a a method registered to this account. Lastly, it needs to be noted that when initiating any other arbitrary purchase the ebt card maintains its existence and even remains fully functional on all (other) quality items.
Hi #7 (and #8 and so forth). Iām going to try to be as clear as I possibly can one last time. On what seems like every item Amazon sells these days, there are two featured options for purchasing: 1. A one time purchase (please dont ask me to explain what this means) or 2. Signing up for a subscription constituted of recurring pre-authorized purchases, frequently at a discounted rate, the first of which occurring at the time of signup. The bag of rye at the heart of my apparent madness this morning was using option #2 and paid for with the EBT card registered to my account. I just checked the ensuing purchase, scheduled for Feb 7, however, and itās set to charge the purchase onto my credit card rather than the card i used when I agreed to our little monthly contract here. In fact, the payment menu for that item and purchase is not even displaying that card a a method registered to this account. Lastly, it needs to be noted that when initiating any other arbitrary purchase the ebt card maintains its existence and even remains fully functional on all (other) quality items.
Mary
Got it yet? Iām fairly certain that Iāve eclipsed the 1 hour mark on this chat and Iām still being asked whether or not thereās something in my cart.
Poonamkumari
I'd love to help you through this. However, we have a concerned team who would have better tools to look into this and help you with the same. Let me get this transferred to them.
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Gourab
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Gourab
Hello, I am Gourab, Please give me a moment to review the previous correspondence.
Mary
Read ^
Gourab
Are we connected?
Mary
Great question.
Gourab
I am sorry about that, In this case a member of our dedicated team will be the perfect person to help you with this. Let me connect you to them. It will only take a moment.
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Diane
Diane has joined the chat
Mary
Hi #9. Or wow, am I really back to #1? You know what, itās my birthday today and I donāt need this. Please have someone read this whole thing and email me an answer.
please acknowledge and Iāll disconnect.
Diane had a technical issue. Please wait while we transfer you to a new associate.
Arshiya
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Arshiy
Hello ! Thank you for contacting Amazon. This is Arshiya here to help. I hope you and your loved ones are doing great and I wish you peaceful life filled with happy moments.
Mary
#10
Please submit my whole correspondence this morning to a supervisor and have them email me.
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Stephan
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Mary
#11. This has got to be a prank. Am I on tv?
Stephan
Hello, This is Stephan from Amazon payments specialist team, I'll be assisting you today. Glad you've reached out to Amazon Payment Support where customer service is our top priority!
I can transfer you to another associate who can help you with this . Please stay connected and let me connect you to the right department
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Mary
#12.
Abhilasha
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Abhilasha
Hi My Name is Abhilasha,Welcome to Amazon Customer Service.Hope you & your family are safe & happy. Thanks for contacting Amazon Business customer service.
Please allow me few minutes to review your previous correspondence.
Mary
Lucky #13. For the love of Christ, please acknowledge my maddeningly simple request of submitting this conversation to someone who is apparently as detached from whatever reality this is as me and have them email me an answer.
You can literally say anything so long as it suggests youāve just read my last message. āYesā ānoā ādonāt careā anything
Abhilasha
Thank you for waiting
Mary
good enough.
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