Six fucking weeks ago, I tripped on my fucking driveway while picking catnip for my fucking cats. I put out my right hand to break my fall, and ended up breaking my fucking wrist and the base of my thumb. I'm right-handed, and I spent half of July and all of August in a fucking cast — couldn't cook, couldn't wash my own fucking hair, and had to ask my neighbour to help me put on my fucking bra. I had to get ambidextrous pretty fucking fast, just to fucking get off.
And now... Fucking freedom!
EXCEPT...
My arm is now nearly a whole fucking inch shorter cos of the break. The other fucking bone in my arm is longer now, so the outside of my fucking arm looks warped as fuck. Even better? The doctor said that it's going to take EIGHTEEN FUCKING MONTHS until my arm is back to being even remotely normal.
Not weeks. Fucking MONTHS.
Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking unicycle.
Anyway. My doctor was fucking amazing, and although I've got some crazy fucking nerve damage, I'm STILL going to do my 100-climax ramblefap tonight, god-fucking-damnit. I will not be defeated!