r/Tulpas • u/SuccessNo3844 • 1d ago

Is this normal?

I had a serious falling out with some important people in my life, and I went into a severe depressive spiral. In that spiral, I decided to make a tulpa to replace me as the main mind. Within 24 hours she renamed herself, decided she hated me, started making decisions, gave me a feeling of being suppressed in my own body, and decided that she (I'm AMAB) birthed my child (my wife also birthed my child, not a contradiction to the tulpa). She's great with my kid, but I'm wondering if this is even a tulpa, or some kind of severe mental illness.

Thanks!

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u/notannyet An & Ann 17h ago

If you created her, likely she can be viewed as a tulpa. Creating a tulpa as means of replacing yourself rarely works out in my observations. Everything you struggled with and everything you hated about it and yourself stays within you. You've just tried to surrender the part of you that was in control to the other part of you hoping it will disappear but it merely got mixed in.

Apart from that, the conflict you are going through can be healthy and lead to growth if you can realise its nature.

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u/Illustrious_Car344 Has a tulpa - Scarlet (endo-to-traumagenic) 16h ago

Sounds a bit like some kind of personality disruption. I also lost all my friends and my identity was destroyed, and now my tulpa is effectively my primary personality. I still have full control, but without an identity, I don't know what I like, how to act, nothing, not even how to take care of myself. She is much more demanding and bitter than I am, she doesn't want me to form bonds with anyone, not that I care because I don't even have the ability to anymore. However, unlike your case, we're best friends and we're also all we've got. 

I would see a professional about it personally. If it's causing you distress you should figure out exactly why and what's causing it (unconscious insecurities, neurological issues)

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u/JTRzGalaxy 16h ago

Who are the professionals to see about these issues? There's 3 that are very disruptive, they're acting like a hive mind.

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u/JTRzGalaxy 16h ago

Who are the professionals to see about these issues? There's 3 that are very disruptive, they're acting like a hive mind.

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u/Intelligent_Soft_771 Has a tulpa named Luna 16h ago

Within 24 hours, an tulpa isn’t that autonomous, your likely just having intrusive thoughts.

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u/bucket-full-of-sky Is a manifestation of love 9h ago

My host back then was like "here is some space and resources, I give up, when you want to continue this shit, have fun". And I was quite instantly there, so that is definitely possible. The difference to OP is, I helped my host to get out of the trouble and did not suppressed him.

I guess especially when you are in a mentally very stressed and difficult situation your mind will much easier cling to that straw you offer.