My psychologist recommended ketamine therapy to me.

This is something I’ve been trying to work toward for years. However, I keep having to make long distance moves that change my insurance coverage. So I’m glad I’m finally getting traction.

Has anyone here tried esketamine therapy before? What was your outcome? What was the process like?

So i m male 21, India.

Some months ago i completed my graduation and after i thought to have a job but its rlly hard nowadays to get a job.

One of relatives son is working in a bpo sector so they told my parents about this i told them i can't work there.

As it is a night shift i have a lot of health problems like High Blood Pressure, Anger issue and many things.

I am trying my best to get a job as soon as possible so that i can financially support everyone i am trying my best but they are just forcing me to go there and if i don't want to go there get a job within a month.

I am so stressed and i can't focus on my further studies as well

Nowadays they just keep on forcing me i feel like i am getting traumatized.

I was about to attempt suicide today so that it can end and there will be no problem but i don't know how i suddenly stopped.

I am currently relying on my parents money rn but i wish i get a job soon.

The only place i can feel safe and good is my gym where i can actually feel comfortable and focus on myself .

Whatever but i wish i succed soon 🙃

Who else knows they’re mentally weaker than most, but still refuses to give up?
I’ve been through depression, anxiety, and therapy. I know I overthink, struggle with uncertainty, and sometimes feel mentally exhausted. There have been times when I genuinely couldn’t see a way forward.
But somehow, I’ve never completely given up.
Are there others here who feel like they’re not particularly strong mentally, yet keep going anyway? What keeps you going when you feel like you’ve had enough?

So, I've got a lot on my mind all the time. My mind just can't stop racing all the time. I'm hoping by telling my business to a bunch of strangers on the Internet it'll help me feel better... This will probably be pretty long so get comfortable.

Apologies in advance if I ramble or things don't make sense. I'm more than happy to answer questions or give more context.

I'll start with some background then I'll move on to where things went wrong. 3 years ago in September 2023 I moved in with my roommates who were my best friends at the time. "A" (Male 20yo) and "M" (Male 24). (I am Male and 25 for context). Those two mean so much to me and I consider them brothers. We all met when we all worked at the same theme park at one of the restaurants there. We got so close because those two helped me admit to myself that I was gay and made me feel safe to come out.
I met "A" when he was 16. He started working at the theme park over the summer in 2022. He kept getting scheduled closing shifts and would get off work after the buses stopped running, so he asked for rides home all the time. Eventually he started asking me for rides. So we got to know each other pretty fast. He asked me lots of questions about myself, some general and some very personal, even ones about my sexuality which at the time I was deathly afraid of coming out. But he was genuinely interested in me as a person and was very nice. No one had ever taken a genuine interest in the real me. "A" is very easy to talk to, he's a good listener and asks great follow up questions. Another reason I took interest in him is because he was kind of being neglected by his mother. He lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with his three sisters, two of their boyfriends, his mother, and 5 pug dogs. He would be hungry so I'd buy him food. He needed clothes for school and work so I'd buy him clothes. We would hangout all the time after work with the rest of our friend group and sometimes I wouldn't drop him off at home until 3AM or 4AM and his Mom would never wonder where he was. So he was my little brother now and followed me around at work and asked me a TON of questions all day about random things, he just loved to talk and it was pleasant having him around to talk to. :)
Ironically "M" and I's relationship didn't start out positive. He was friends with "AN"(She's female and a year or two older than me). "AN" was one of my biggest haters at work. Why? I'm not really sure but she'd go around starting rumors and tell people things about me that weren't true. I'm not going to go into everything about "AN" but she was not cool. Anyways "AN" would tell "M" that I would talk shit about him and that I would say he was bad at his job, ect. So every interaction I had with "M" he'd have an attitude, so he was a difficult person to be around because of all the stuff "AN" was feeding him. I didn't know that was happening at the time. One day another supervisor from a different restaurant I was acquainted with visited our restaurant. She came to ask for something, I don't remember. But while she was there she asked about the cute guy that I worked with referring to "M". Later, "M" asked me about the cute girl who came by. I told him that she actually asked about him too. They flirted on and off for the remainder of the time we worked there but nothing ever actually happened. But this event opened up space for "M" and I to talk casually and we both realized that "AN" was telling lies about me. Eventually "M" joined the friend group, "A", "M", the others in our friend group and I went on to hangout almost every single day at work and out of work all summer, so we all got super close. "M"'s family has issues, I'm not going to get into them here but just know that for context. One day "M" called me at midnight asking if I could pick him up from his house. He was being kicked out of his parents house because they found a condom and weed in his car. I went to get him, and when he got in my car his dad came out to scream at him through my driver's side window.... Super awkward. He asked if he could sleep at my place (at the time I was living with my Mom). I told him yes and he slept on my bedroom floor for a few days. I eventually asked my Mom if he could move in and pay rent and at the end of the summer we'd move out together. She agreed. This was 2023. Eventually "A" started coming home with me and sleeping on my floor too, it just kind of happened. So at the end of the summer in 2023 the 3 of us moved into an apartment together. Things were GREAT for the first 5 months. But I think moving in together with my best friends was the first mistake...

Here's where things started to go bad. On Valentine's day 2024 "A" got a girlfriend, "V". I'm just gonna be honest, she was a bitch. She also worked at the theme park and she would treat "A" terribly. You could compare her behavior to Niki from the movie Obsession just without the murder. So we all didn't like her, and I made it clear to him that I didn't like her either. He eventually asked me to try getting along with her because he loved her and didn't want there to be issues between his friends and his gf. So I changed my attitude and eventually got used to her being around and I even hung out a few times. This put a strain on "A" and "M"'s friendship. "M" didn't like that "A" was never home,  he felt like "A" didn't contribute to the house, didn't do any chores, and he brought his mean girlfriend around. Ever since then, everything that "A" did that bothered "M" I heard about. He'd complain to me all the time about "A". That March I went on a trip out of town and literally the first night I was gone "A" and "M" had a big fight, I don't even remember what it was about exactly but it was a bad one. To the point that I didn't think that one of them would be there when I got back.

After that the next major issue was in September of 2024 “M” decided to adopt a dog, and I allowed it to happen. A large breed. Now I know that this was a huge mistake and unfair to everyone involved, especially the dog but this is just what was happening. At first things were okay, she was a puppy and it was cute. But then she got bigger and needed lots of attention that we didn't have to give her... So, she took over the living room and that became her space. The whole front of the apartment became the dog's. She almost never got walked so she would use the bathroom all over the living room, we'd be cleaning poop and mopping pee every single day. This was neglectful of us and I'm ashamed that this happened. It was like this for a year and 2 months. This contributed to the divide between "A" and "M". The house was always a mess and covered in poop and pee. “M” would apologize all the time but did not do anything about it. It was his dog. Finally I told “M” that I was going to find a new home for the dog and thankfully she has a nice new home now. But for over a year the kitchen and living room were unusable. Every time we left the house or came home we had to walk through the living room. Also during this time “M”’s car was totalled and he was dealing with financial issues with his parents. So he was super short on rent and asked me if I could pull a loan out for him. So I did… But of course he struggled to pay me back and it took over a year to get the money back from him.

“A” and “M” had really bad arguments all this time about “A”’s girlfriend and “M”’s Dog and I tried my best to keep the peace between them. Eventually “M” got a girlfriend and they were both now too busy to hangout with…So in May of 2024 I got on Tinder and tried dating to fill all this time I now had on my hands because my two best friends were now busy with work and their relationships to hangout. I was mostly unsuccessful with getting matches until I matched with this guy “P”. We went on a few dates and hit it off. He was so sweet and kind to me, he listened and made me feel special. So eventually we got into a relationship officially in July of 2024. He was a great boyfriend and I truly loved him. While we were together in November of 2024 I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Necrotizing Myositis, pretty much my immune system is attacking my mussels in my legs and arms and is making them deteriorate. This is a difficult thing for me to process. I now have to attend monthly infusions to keep my immune system from killing me. It wasn't an issue at first but I had to navigate all of this on my own. “P” was in college and had work and I barely got to see him when it was school time. Then in June of 2025 I was traveling 3 hours out of town to drop something off for my mom and I got pulled over on my way back for speeding. Unfortunately I did not have insurance nor was my car registered… So they towed it. while I was two hours away from home. Long story short, I had to pay for insurance, registration, and impound fees to get my car back. With paying about $2K to get my car situated and the loan I had taken out for “M” This completely financially ruined me. Thankfully “P” loaned me the money to get my car out of impound. As a result of all of this my mental health seriously began to deteriorate. Then the next semester of school started for “P” and his classes started taking up all of his time. In September 2025 I did not see him in person for an entire month. This deeply bothered me. It felt like I was in a long distance relationship… I really needed him to be there for me emotionally, but he just wasn't. It’s not his fault though, he was busy with school and work trying to create a future for himself. I told him at the beginning of October that I was unhappy, and felt like he didn't have time for me. He said things would change and he would make time for me. We went from seeing each other 0 times a week to 1 time a week. Now this could be greedy of me but that wasn't enough for me. I was going through a lot and feeling very lonely and needed his comfort but I wasn't getting it, I felt myself falling out of love with him. It started feeling like a chore to drive 30 minutes across town to see him. January 2026 came around, I told him again that I was still unhappy and thought we should break up. He didn't want to, he asked me if we can continue to work on it and things would be different going forward. I didn't want to give up on him yet but looking back I should have ended the relationship there, because my love for him continued to fade. Everyday I felt so guilty because I knew that eventually I would have to break up with him and break his heart, but I continued the relationship because I didn't want to hurt him… I know this was wrong of me…
The catalyst to ending the relationship was a guy that I had met at work. That's another really long story but basically he had been kinda flirting with me and I found him attractive so I entertained it with no real intention of acting on anything. Then in April 2026 “J” texted me asking to see me at 10PM at night. I told him no, I had work in the morning. But he insisted and begged me, that's when I realized he was drunk. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn't interested in him and at this point I was so checked out of my relationship he convinced me to come over to his house. (I know this was wrong, and I am ashamed). “J” told me he wanted me and would “handle” when I got to his house. He was driving home from whatever party he was at but then hit the side of the freeway while he was on the phone with me. So now I had to go find him to make sure he was safe. He pulled his car into a park and ride and asked me to take him home. Once we got back to his place he asked me to come inside. So I did, we got in bed and he immediately fell asleep. Nothing happened… But after that I felt so terrible and sick about the whole situation. I knew that there was no coming back from this and I had to break up with “P”. So a couple days later I told “P” that we were breaking up. Of course he was devastated. I felt terrible. I didn't tell him about what happened with “J”, but I told him the reasons why I was unhappy he didn't have time for me, he didn't have a car and I always had to drive, he still lived with his parents and shared a room with his sister (who moved away to college btw) and slept on the top bunk of his bunk bed so he did not have any space for himself where we could be together. We were at different stages in our lives and I wanted him to be with someone who was going the same speed he was. So we broke up.

A little bit after breaking up with “P” I ended up in the mental hospital. “M” got super upset when he looked at our Life360 that we have with our other friends and everyone was gone. The reason is another really long story but basically “M”’s current girlfriend wanted to see who was in the Life360 and so he removed one of our friends “AL” took a screenshot then told me to add her back. I sent her the link but she decided not to rejoin, and everyone else decided to leave out of protest. “M” called me at work and asked me what happened and why everyone left. At the time I literally had no idea and I told him that. He didn't believe me and said that I knew and was lying about it and he’s not friends with any of us anymore. Him yelling at me over the phone about this sent me into a panic attack and made me feel like my life was over. My financial issues, my conflicted feelings about my ex, my diagnosis, and now my friends are all falling apart. It felt like I was drowning, like my life was over, I wanted to drown. I wanted to stop feeling so broken inside. I probably would have gone home and done it, but “M” was home. So I decided it was best for me to check myself into a hospital. They sent me to a mental hospital. What a horrible place that was, probably one of the most miserable experiences of my life. They didn't really do anything for me, I literally sat there for 3 days and did nothing. I only saw a doctor once and they did not have the correct dose of the antidepressant the doctor prescribed me. After 3 days they let me go home.

At the beginning of this year I started therapy. My therapist is great. I love her.  After 7 months of therapy I've learned a lot about myself. I have an anxious attachment style, separation anxiety, depression, fear of abandonment, I have hard time handling conflict, and I’m not very kind to myself. I am trying my best to deal with these negative emotions and I thought I was doing a decent job but the past two days have been pretty hard. My mind just races with all these negative emotions and thoughts about myself… I feel like I’ll be lonely forever, I feel like I’m unlovable, I’m a burden to those around me, I can’t function like a normal person because these feelings just fill my head, it really does make me unable to function sometimes. I feel so alone I want to be close with others but it just hurts too much when they don't act consistently. I take things so personally and I just internalize all of it because I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable with my negative emotions.

TLDR; I’m lonely. I get too attached to others. I care too much about my friends and I let them take advantage of me. I want to love someone who has time for me. I feel like I am drowning in sadness and sometimes I want to drown in water.

I left A LOT of details out, feel free to ask questions.

hi everyone, (31F), I’ve been in anxiety spaces for about 5 years now, and honestly just knowing other people go through this too has helped me more than I can say. figured I’d share my own story in case it helps someone else the way these communities has helped me.

anxious for as long as I can remember, mostly around health and death, but it never stayed contained to just that. constant overthinking, awkward in social situations, my brain just found new things to latch onto.
had a really rough spike about a year back, panic attacks, fully convinced my heart was failing and I didn’t have much time left. did the whole rounds, several doctors, tests, “you’re completely fine,” relief for a couple days, then right back to being scared.

there was this one stretch, a few months long, where I was convinced a tsunami was going to hit the island I was on. I swear I could hear these strange sounds coming from the ocean that I was sure meant it was coming.

similar thing happened after an earthquake once too, I kept hearing the roof creak and was positive it would cave in on me while I slept. actually left my place for a few nights before realizing none of it was real, just my brain doing what it does. that’s basically been my whole life in a nutshell.

eventually I hit a point where I knew I couldn’t keep living like that. I had to actually deal with the root of it instead of endlessly searching for reassurance. spent years on meditation, breathing work, exercise, none of it touched the real problem. 7 years of consistent meditation and it barely made a dent in the anxiety itself. breathing exercises helped a little in the moment during panic attacks, but that was it, nothing lasting.

EFT tapping is what actually clicked for me. the concept that fear gets physically stuck in your body and needs real release, not just management, made something make sense for the first time. youtube sessions were too generic to really help, so I dove into every EFT resource I could find and started writing my own scripts targeted at my specific fears, death, illness, that tightness in my chest.

first time doing it properly, I cried more than I expected to. apparently that’s part of how it works, crying and yawning as the energy releases. happened a few more times over the following sessions, and each time the fear got quieter until it basically wasn’t there anymore. even the physical symptoms eventually stopped, the chest tightness just doesn’t show up like it used to. genuinely saved me during panic attacks too.

given my background in tech, I turned what I’d built for myself into an app once I realized how much it had changed things for me, guided EFT sessions split by anxiety type (general, health, panic, work, overthinking, etc), because nothing out there matched what I actually needed. it’s got around 30 sessions right now.

it’s called Alight: EFT Tapping, free for a week if you want to try it. would genuinely love to hear feedback if you do, especially what else you’d want to see covered (relationship anxiety, parental anxiety, and postpartum are next on my list).

to be clear: this isn’t a replacement for medical care if your doctor says you need one, and I’m not claiming it works for everyone, just sharing what helped me personally.

I’ve dealt with anxiety and occasional panic attacks before, but they were manageable. Then in March, I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had while driving. Since then, every attack feels harder to recover from, and now I’m afraid to drive alone.
It’s gotten to the point where even thinking about getting in a car makes me panic. I’ve also had panic attacks at home alone, so now I’m afraid to be alone in the house too. I’ve been sleeping during the day while my parents are at work because I’m scared of having another attack.
I’ve been on mirtazapine 30mg for 5 months and Effexor, 37.5mg for 2 months and 75mg for the past month. I haven’t felt worse on them, but I also haven’t felt much better.
After talking to my mom I messaged my doctor about how bad things have gotten an inquired about maybe adding a mood stabilizer or something else, my doctor responded with “I will refer you to psychiatry”. So that like topped it off for me. A friend suggested I get evaluated for bipolar because my grandmother was diagnosed later in life, but my mom is not bipolar. I’m naturally very bubbly, talkative, and outgoing, but I also have ADHD, so I’m not sure what’s what. My friend also suggested that I take omega-3 with DHA/EPA.
I’ve read that antidepressants can worsen bipolar symptoms, but I haven’t noticed that happening—I just haven’t improved.

I don't know what to do anymore. I've been having really bad anxiety attacks due to a mix of personal circumstances and the current state the world has been heading in. The personal thing got sorted out but my anxiety has gone onto the next thing rather than disappearing. Because I read a scary news headline (which I tend to ignore the news because of this) my body and mind seem to be on high alert even if I dont want to be. It seems the anxiety is making me physically sick this time and any attempt I make at trying to distract myself is not working. I'm wandering if anyone else here has experienced something like this and what they've done to help themselves.

I (F41) have just quit prescription cannabis after smoking spliffs for three years. Firstly, please forgive me jumping from one thing to the next I’m not functioning the best at the moment. I’m on day 4 of no weed after a steep taper over 5 days going from smoking everyday to nothing now for last 4 days apart from nicotine because I don’t want to tackle withdrawal from both drugs at once so il drop nicotine in the next week , however I am not having half as much nicotine as I was when I was smoking spliffs. I’m in the thick of withdrawal; irritability/short fuse, trouble getting to sleep so I’m actually using sleeping pills as I can’t cope with not sleeping, hot flushes all day long, headache, lethargic, gut problems; stomach pain, acid problems which I’m on omeprazole for, bloating and light nausea with some inappetence although I am eating through it to look after my body, brain fog and the worst of it is the emotional symptoms. I feel very emotional, crying every night because as soon as I get into bed and everything is quiet all my problems come to me and I can’t help but feel despair at my life. I am aware that withdrawal can make depression worse. I started smoking cannabis to numb out, it was prescribed to me for anxiety which is ironic because it actually made my anxiety so much worse after longterm use, not initially, initially it helped. I also smoked it to numb out, to stop the racing thoughts (diagnosed ADHD) and allow me to not have to think about my problems for an evening. It soon went from one or two spliffs a night to 5-10 spliffs per day starting from 10-11am until bedtime.

How do I manage the raw emotions at nighttime? I can manage during the day because I can busy myself somehow but when my head hits the pillow my mind is flooded with very negative thoughts about myself, thoughts about my dysfunctional family issues: alcoholic father slowly killing himself with booze like his mother did, my mum having to live with my dad in their unhappy marriage yet neither of them are or ever have addressed it. I’m also at a loss in my career, I don’t know what to do next and the withdrawal is making me feel like a failure and that I’m a mess, a horrible person etc etc.

I don’t want to use cannabis again, this is my 6/7th time trying to quit but this time it’s for good after having an epiphany two weeks ago when we had to put our family dog to rest after 14 years. I realised I was wasting my time sat at home getting stoned numbing out when I should be spending the time with my loved ones because when they go all you want is time back with them, I felt guilty over choosing cannabis over time with loved ones and realised that my cannabis use disorder was controlling my day, everyday and I didn’t like that. I know that I’m better off without it health wise physically and mentally, but I’m scared at the prospect of battling depression. I started having non-epileptic seizures 4 years ago due to C-PTSD, it’s been an uphill battle since then, I don’t drink and weed was a way of me having some fun in my life or so I thought. I just know that now I’m going to have to face the reality of my mental health problems, I’m already in therapy and have been for a while but one hour a week takes a long time to go through everything, it’s a very slow process. Plus my ADHD works against me daily especially with my emotions and how I talk to myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

Thank you for reading, peace and love to everyone 💛

Hello everyone. I am not sure whether I am okay or not, whether it’s just harsh time in my life. However, there are some warning signs:

1. I wake up utterly sad. The minute I hear my alarm I want to cry and the only thing I’m thinking about is that I’d rather not be alive at all. Starting my day is hard. But as the day goes on, I start smiling, the heavy feeling goes on and I go to bed feeling well. But as the morning approaches, sadness comes.

2. Loss of appetite, especially food I cooked myself.

3. Not being able to shift negative thoughts. I am (or used to be) happy person that could think positively. Now I cannot, even tho I write positive thoughts down and constantly tell myself that everything’s fine.

4. I want to be left alone and be social at the same time. I want to be alone and cry but at the same time I’m scared of being lonely.

5. I don’t want my partner to touch me. I used to love sex way more than him but now I just don’t.

I am experiencing stress at work, that may be it? I am F25, this is my first job, maybe that’s just it? That I am utterly stressed and not depressed at all? Everything that made me joy (books, podcasts, yoga, tv series) just…does not already.

Thanks a lot for your advice. Take care!

I was in a relationship, and we split. It wasn't a long relationship, but I really fell in love. Because of life circumstances, anxiety, depression, and the fact that not all brains work great together, it's not feasible. So I'm alone, and I feel like I should be grateful it wasn't a bitter split, but damn, I melted in his presence. It's over now and I'm sitting in this grief, trying not to let it spiral into heavy depression.

Thank you for bothering to read this. 😞

Me and my family were recently separated due to a tornado. We’re all fine. None of us were hurt, but we just got news that after our house is repaired the landlord is selling it and I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Nothing feels real anymore. my parents are working their butts off so they could’ve paid for the repair just to find out the greedy landlord will sell it because it’s not used in all new walls and flooring and ceiling. I have so many memories in that house that are just nothing like what

Do you think you would still have your anxiety if you lived in a home with more bedrooms and your extended family lived in the house with you and you all contributed and you had large dinners together, and the older women stayed home and took care of the smaller children and cooked and cleaned? You can depend on your family etc.

I am 27 and experiencing extreme death anxiety. I used to get this every couple of months and it would go away, but for some reason it’s in full force and has lasted about a week straight so far. I think what’s brought this on is that my dog who I grew up with is 16 years old and I’m having anticipatory grief, having to accept that I will have to say goodbye to him soon. I’m also feeling extreme fear about losing my parents and grandparents one day.

On top of that, I’m fearing trillions of years of nonexistence. I truly love being alive and the thought of not existing terrifies and saddens me. And I know people will say I won’t be alive to know it, that it will be like before I was born - but that’s exactly what saddens me.

The only comfort I’ve had from this extreme fear is reincarnation. I’m trying to believe in an afterlife like heaven/hell but I have a really hard time believing that. I view the world too scientifically. So the scientific research that I’ve seen that supports reincarnation has been my only comfort. But then apart of me thinks maybe I’m only grasping onto this idea because it gives me false relief from the ultimate reality of dying.

But even reincarnation doesn’t give me a full relief from fear because if I don’t remember my past lives and if the people I love don’t follow me to my new life, then it’s like I really don’t exist again anyway.

It’s starting to interfere with my daily life. I’ll be enjoying a nice day out with my parents and start thinking about how one day I’ll be gone and feel a pang of extreme depression and anxiety.

Does anyone else feel like this? What helps? Also something that might be important to note, is I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship from ages 15-26 and I’m just now rebuilding my life after years of isolation. I feel incredibly lonely and I feel too shy to actually go out and meet anyone. I feel like none of my dreams will come true - I want a relationship, a family, a home. I’m having to come to terms with having wasted a decade of time and running out of time to have all the things I want from life.

(21M) Hello everyone, i would like to ask for some advice from people that have felt something similar. I have spent the weekend with my girlfriend, we went on a little trip and we had a blast. It was nice running away for a little bit and even though we don’t live together, we still manage to enjoy weekends together. The entire weekend i couldn’t manage to stop feeling mentally heavy and exhausted. It is something i unfortunately got used to as i have been feeling this way for 2 years now but it never affected any vacation.
Just today i dropped off my girlfriend, got home and i just feel done. Im exhausted, i miss my girlfriend and the weekend we just enjoyed together. I feel like i am chasing a feeling that feels close but is very far. The entire weekend i had a part of my brain that was telling me the weekend will come to an end anways and when i got home today i just started feeling guilty that i did not enjoy it to the fullest.

My life and luck is such that something bad can happen anytime. Right now it's not sad, not happy but in between. I have attempted sucidie before, and I wish I was successful. I live in fear all the time, about multiple things, all the time.

I am 17(f) had my first panic attack in class 9th. I am a good student always getting 95% or above in every exam. Was in student council participated in many clubs and competition, trained in classical dance and enjoys living life to the fullest.

Then in grade 9th, around my mid term I was unable to breathe properly a week before my exam and started trembling and crying for hours.

Note- my parents are very supportive of me, they never forced me to do anything against my will and they dote on me

I was not able to give my midterm, our school suspected it was an act, my parents for a short while thought I wasnt prepared well and hence acting, my good friends spread rumours about me. I was all alone.

I had another panic attack where I couldn't breath and speak. I was taken to a doctor and had my medications prescribed .

I then had small episodes of panic all throughout 9th.

I did well in my 10th grade was in top 10 in my school.

Although the scar of 9th had not faded. The betrayal and loneliness still lingered. I heard about the rumours which eventually got to me.

I indulged in SH. When my family found out the helped me recover by appointing therapists and taking me for regular checkups.

Then in 11th grade, it happened again. With so much intensity I was admitted in the emergency ward at night.

I dont have proper recollection of the night as I was sedated(i believe)

Then my medications started, I was always drowsy, gained weight, lost my appetite.

I missed my 11th mid term again. I was so scared

Now I am in 12th, waiting for entrance exams and all the relevant tests with trembling hands and unsteady mind.

I can't lose now, it will greatly affect my career.

I just wanted to share this to get it off my mind. I welcome any suggestions or questions from someone who is suffering through what I suffered.

I'm 20F, nutrition by degree, but i loved IT, so I used to work in IT sector( I loved my job). Apart from that, I love reading, solving puzzles , rubik cubes, binge watching TV shows, and sometimes chess.

I had this injury a few weeks ago, and now I'm on bed rest so chronically online and really bored, AMA, but make it interesting

How do people cope with dating? I’m scared I’ll be alone forever due to my mental health

How do you all cope? I see people with depression anxiety and CPTSD have boyfriends but it’s just too dysregualting for me these days and makes me spiral mentally.

Due to my MH my once busy social life has faded away and I barely have any friends just stay home and cry on the weekends on my days off due to the loneliness as I am an extrovert and thrive off being around others - when I’m at work or out you’d never know I have these issues. But alone I’m a mess, my flat has been a horrible mess for a year to the point I can’t invite anyone over due to shame and embrassing and I’ve got to the point where I just dont know anymore. I meet guys and sometimes they seem decent but then I get scared as I will be exposed for how much of a loser I am, not good enough, with no family support, proper friends, hobbies or life, single for 7 years which I know is weird, and my flat being so messy and untidy I end up running away from them.

I know I need to work on myself but I’ve tried that for 7 years and still the same so am I just meant to be single forever and in turn being so lonely it drives me to my grave? My last bf 7 years ago made me feel bad due to my MH and I think that’s affected me to the point I worry I will be seen as a loser or burden like he made me feel so I dont let anyone get close and get focused on work.

Are there any groups or anyway to meet people who also have CPTSD or depression and anxiety as I feel a man that doesn’t have it won’t understand and I worry about being mentally and emotionally abused or being taken advantage of.

Really sorry for such a depressing post and I feel SO SO embarrassed posting this I always just read and interact but I dont know what else to do. I just want to find someone that understands me and that I can trust so we can be there to support eachother and try to get through each day.

Context and questions- Last year I had a panic attack that changed my life and left me with 24hour anxiety, balance issues etc. it did slowly get better but not great. I was mostly home bound and couldn’t drive and eventually started driving again and going places but not terribly far. I tried Prozac in the spring to help with my anxiety and it made me feel awful and I couldn’t stop crying and made me want to harm myself plus gave me my first ever feeling of Depersonalization and derealization… Over this summer I had moment of anxious days/ bad and good days. But mostly I’ve been white knuckling it. And for the most part I’ve been just okay. Also I am not scared of myself dying really but I’m scared of the people I love dying. Recently I started back in college which is stressful in itself but the first day I almost had a panic attack, and even sitting around a class full of people ( knowing I’m safe) but I still feel so scared. And my first day I found out my aunt passed away. So I’ve been in an emotional roller coaster of fearing my surroundings, my own though, my existence, the fact that I talk to people and they exist scares me. I have scared reactions to random things that should not illicit a fear response ( power lines, stop signs, sitting on the floor in my apartment) everything feels like too much and too scary and like I feel really alone and crazy. On top of that I’m absolutely dealing with just feeling like “what’s the point” and I don’t want to be alive. I am not going to harm myself but I am just scared, and feel stuck in this constant loop of existentialism and I’ve read about absurdism but that didn’t help me. Has anyone else felt this way? Do you think phones ( doom scrolling) has an effect? What helped you if anything?

-note- I see a therapist and I try to reframe thoughts and feelings and allow feelings to just be but when I feel like this all the time I get angry because my thoughts and feelings circulate so much. It’s so overwhelming.

Hi all, 1,5years ago my mom relapsed in a heavy depression and anxiety disorder. This due to stopping with meds that helped for many years.

She’s getting help from a psychiatrist and psychologist but there is no real improvement. So far a lot of things have been tried: taking her original meds again, taking new meds,… I don’t know all the names but they didnt have enough effect so she was diagnosed with therapy resistent depression. So the psychiatrist also tried Spravato and Lithium. She also spent some weeks in a psychiatry. Spravato had no effect and Lithium influenced her kidneys too negatively so quick we don’t even know if it would’ve worked. The stay in the psychiatry didnt help and she felt more alone than ever.

In the morning it’s always worst, while in the evening it improves only to wake up with horrific panic again. it’s serotonine-related.

In the last 18 months the only ‘good’ thing was all the others things in her life were ok (good marriage, healthy and happy kids and grandkids, no financial stress…) and she would obsess about many small things (and ofcourse her health) but now my sister (mom of 2 small kids) is getting divorced and my mom’s anxious thoughts are getting out of control (which I understand). Needless to say this is very bad for my mom but also for my sister (and my dad who takes care of her)

I try to visit, call and talk to her as much as possible, do breathing exercises together… but I would love to be able to provide more help: like trying things that helped other people (teas, walks,…)

Any suggestions or advice? Thank you so much!

Ps she also has polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) which is often linked to mood disorders

It's so hard. Even the people with the same interests as me like dinosaurs and art I can't really get along with. This is the same for the struggles I have: severe limerence and I shared how I felt and everyone was calling me a criminal and a dangerous person. That hurt me so much. Because I want the best for everyone and never would want to hurt anyone and these statements make me feel like I have to punish myself.

I don't know what to do I don't belong anywhere. I feel I don't even belong in my body and life. What should I do I am tired of putting myself out there and failing a million times in a row. I just started patient treatment. I feel like everyone is doing really well besides me. I feel the treatment is only making me more uncomfortable. Simply I don't want to exist atleast I have tried now you can't blame me for not wanting to try anymore. Simply nothing works.

it s ucks.

everything sucks. i ve spent 4 years for a masters in humanities in a foreign country. and all the positions are gone when i graduated. lol

sounds like a joke

and guess what? my long term partner and i ve met in the same program so he is also a graduate in humanities. we are both miserable