Trans people’s right to legal gender recognition is much older than we realize—older than abortion rights, Alaska’s statehood, and the Civil Rights Act. That history just became common knowledge.

Write-up: https://www.transiticsnews.com/p/trans-peoples-identities-have-been

Full timeline: https://timeline.transiticsnews.com/

Hello everyone,

today I went to donate blood and I'm a bit weirded out by the policy the center has on gender markers.

I was told their official policy is to put down your gender as what you were assigned at birth. My gender was put down as female anyway because I don't pass and the receptionist assumed. I'm on T, but they insist on keeping it as female, rather than going based off my dominant hormone.

Not only does this get me misgendered, but it's also inaccurate for testing purposes. Certain levels are going to be elevated, I'd imagine for transfems on HRT it may even bar them from donating alltogether.

Has anyone experienced something like this? I'd love to know.

Update 1:

Her and I have talked about this and resolved it. The main issue here was partly that she'd misunderstood me, thinking I wanted to ignore or erase my past, that I didn't allow her to think back of me in the way she wanted to. I belive she now understands the dysphoria and discomfort the deadname causes me. Thank you all for your advice!

Update 2:

Please do not judge my mom's mental state or wellbeing based on this one post, especially when doing so based on details that really are unrelated to my concern. Please understand that we can see things differently and have different ideas and disagree about it without the other party being stupid, dumb or emotionally unstable. Remember that she's my mom, who has saved my life so many times and helped through really dark times, and I love her. To point out flaws is one thing, to verbally attack her is another. Please don't do that. Thank you.

First of all, I just need to be clear about something: I love my mom, and she's been nothing but supportive in my journey of discovery and growth since coming out as trans. It took some time, but she's adjusted well to my change of name I use and the pronouns I prefer, so the issue here isn't a lack of support or acceptance.

This whole thing started several months back when she mentioned that she wanted to get a tattoo of five hearts, one for each of her children. That'd be me and my little brother, as well as her three miscarriages. I thought it was a really nice idea and had no issues with that until she told me her idea regarding the heart symbolizing me.

Basically, she wanted to include both my deadname and my chosen name, have them intertwined somehow, the old name turning into the new one. This is where I said that I didn't really agree with that idea, simply put because I don't want to see that name being permanently tattooed onto her as it would cause discomfort for me. I initially explained that it seemed like a way to hold on to the past and that it made me feel like she wasn't fully embracing who I am today. I told her as much, saying I thought the idea was nice symbolically, but that it would have been much more affirming if she'd just wanted to use my chosen name.

Me opposing that idea made her cry. She felt as if I looked at it in the wrong way, that the change from one name to the other was meant to be a sign of acceptance, a way to honor my past and present, a way to remember my roots while also accepting the person I am today. I basically feel like I ruined the entire idea for her and she never got the tattoo. Since then we've discussed this three times without resolving anything, always walking away from the conversation feeling worse than before.

She feels as if I want to ignore the past, that I want to forget who I was and what I came from, something that I've tried to deny by explaining that I am still the same person, even after changing my name, pronouns and gender expression. I do know that I was born a boy, that I was her son, a brother to my siblings, until the day I came out and asked them to accept me as something different. I can't deny that, nor do I want to. But even when I was little, long before coming out, I was transgender. I just didn't know it, I hadn't figured it out yet. No matter what my name was or is, I am still me. Always were, always will be.

It just doesn't seem to matter how I explain this to her, it's like she cannot even try to see it from my point of view. And I get that, I realize that it's probably impossible to imagine what it's like to be transgender and deal with gender dysphoria when you aren't transgender yourself.

It's just frustrating. Even after explaining that I've never really been comfortable with my deadname, even after trying to explain the dysphoria it causes me when people use the wrong name and pronouns and how it'd feel the same if she got that tattoo, she still seems to think that I want to ignore my past and forget where I came from, which is not the case at all.

I messaged her yesterday, a text at over 1200 words just trying to explain all this, and it didn't help either of us. We can agree to disagree, and I'm not opposed to seeing this differently. I just want her to understand where I come from in all this, I want her to realize that I am not in denial of my past or that I want to forget who I was, but that this whole thing is making me feel dysphoric. I've told her so many times now that I get what she wanted to symbolize, that I get her idea and that there's nothing wrong with what she wanted to do for her tattoo, but that it makes me feel really bad when I imagine seeing that tattoo on her and being constantly reminded of my deadname and everything tied to it.

I know that many parents or close relatives can feel a loss and even mourn someone when they come out as transgender. They have to let go of the son or daughter they were to embrace the person they have matured into. I know that they picked that name for me. That I was her first child, her first son. But I was also her daughter, simultaneously, just hidden under the surface until I was ready to come out. I just don't agree that my past would be erased because my deadname isn't included in her tattoo, because I am still me. And yet, she says she doesn't feel a grief, that she isn't mourning, the issue being me for looking at it in black and white, not accepting anyone else's perspective.

I don't know, maybe I'm in the wrong? Maybe I'm overthinking this and I'm just not seeing it clearly. I don't know. But if anyone has any kind of advice, no matter which side of this mess it relates to, please just let me know. I hate to be in conflict with my mom... I just want us to move forward from this, for her to understand me and for me to understand her. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

My girlfriend (mtf) has this in her bio and I can’t tell if it’s bad or not. Is this like her saying she’s a failure of a girl? Cause I think quite the opposite about her.

I've been transitioning MTF for about 4-5 years now, I've been on estrogen and spiro and for coming up on a year have been progesterone and I've gotten a lot of the symptoms I've wanted and expected, but now I feel like I've kind of frozen.

I still feel like I'm not far enough along and now I'm beginning to miss my body when I was early in my transition and everything was still new and exciting and I feel like I somehow missed out on something.

Is this a common experience? I'm thinking of changing from spiro to another blocker and also starting injections to see if that changes anything, but I'm also scared of how I'll feel if they don't do anything. Anyway, just wondering how other people felt after they had been on HRT for a second.

So it finally clicked that I am trans, mtf, and I am interested in hrt. If there are any diabetics in the subreddit, did hrt affect your blood sugar or insulin absorption?

I've made a post similar to this before, but I currently live in the US and I was thinking of "retiring" abroad, not necessarily because I want to stop working but because the cost of living in the US is way too high. As a result I've looked into expat lifestyles and was considering moving to a country like Vietnam, Thailand (although the visa situation there isn't great and cost of living is relatively higher), Albania, Georgia or somewhere in Latin America, etc.

However there is an obvious concern of transitioning or being trans depending on where you are in the world, even the US is inevitably going to be massively unsafe for trans people as the current regime continues to crack down.

I wanted to know if there's any trans people who went the "expat FIRE" route, and if so how they achieved it. Are there any known countries/regions/areas where it makes sense to be a trans expat? Or are all of these common expat destinations equally dangerous for trans people and so it doesn't matter which one is chosen? I'd appreciate any advice about this. For context I'm AMAB, started HRT almost 6 months ago and I'm not really out to anyone, completely male presenting at the moment and pretty hopeless about passing or even being able to transition successfully in general.

So I'm a 22 M, I'm pretty sure I'm Cis? I am comfortable as a man, and enjoy being a man. But there are brief moments that appears every once in awhile where I genuinely wished I was a woman. That I feel I would be pretty happy as a woman. I'm very much masculine presenting, so I also find it hard to imagine myself as a woman. But I sometimes just think, my life would be just the same. Not sure if happier is really the best way to put it, but at the least it would be the same level of happy?

What does this mean? And is this common?

I (MTF 21) have had a crush on my close friend (F21) since we got to college, shes a butch lesbian whereas I'm only one year into my transition. When we're drunk we flirt (have kissed and other stuff) but I totally understand that lines are blurred and everybodys having fun! :/ I don't really pass but I'm not very masculine either, and she has even said she finds me beautiful and attractive. Her romantic life is super complicated and emotionally distressing for her, so I feel like telling her that I feel this way is only gonna make things worse for her. But we have amazing chemistry and I know I could treat her so much better than everyone else and it makes me wanna explode. I also feel like I should include that we live in a pretty conservative urban area, so like expectations for trans people are really fucked here, and I definitely would factor that into her "ability" to be attracted to me. I know shes found trans girls attractive before, I just am not sure and would never wanna make her feel uncomfortable being around me. Does anyone have any thoughts at all

Hi me and my gf are both in our early 20s and have been tgt for 6 months. In the first months we were tgt, she would cry upon seeing my genitals (vagina) in the shower or in bed. I already was feeling kind of bad about this but i assumed it was just her own internalized stuff. But once after sex she described her fantasies of jerking off/having sex with someone who had a penis. This was coupled with jokes for months about how she was going to leave me for a man and cheat on me. I’m just wondering if this is just par for the course for people in relationships with trans people.

For context, i am gnc myself and a bit androgynous. I might be a transmasc or nonbinary lesbian. She said later that she thinks sex would probably feel better with someone with a penis, but it’s not a dealbreaker for her. This just makes me feel like she’s settling for me. She also doesn’t touch me during sex much, and when she does she quickly stops and says she gets bored or tired. I’ve never felt more undesirable in my life, and I’m beginning to feel like the reason why I have only ever dated 2 people at 23 years is because i’m so unattractive.

She’s also made jokes about having threesomes with people, and when I ask if she’s serious, she quickly says that she’s joking but continues making the jokes. She has fully stopped this behavior as of a month ago, but seems frustrated with me over my inability to quickly get over it. She’s joked repeatedly about cheating on me or having a threesome with a friend of hers, which I have stated that I am no longer comfortable her being friends with, and she says she will stop hanging out with her - but I feel like she will resent me for it as she doesn’t have many other friends.

I’m going back to therapy next week but despite my pleads for her to do the same, she insists it won’t help her much and that therapy isn’t necessary as her day-to-day functioning is good. I love her so much and she’s definitely a lot better than the last partner i had, but there are so many worries and fears hanging over me and I don’t know how to manage it on my own. I know I must manage it on my own because she often says that she’s at a complete loss for what to say and do anymore.

Any advice or stories are appreciated, I really want to make it work with her :( i can answer any questions too

Hey everyone Ive never posted on Reddit or really even look that much into the platform but I NEED guidance and major help advice. We've lived together going on about 5 -6 years.

My best friend (MTF) started hormones about 2 years ago, and I was really happy for them. Even before her start on hormones, I fully saw and treated her as a girl and when she started hormones I just assumed it was a natural part of transitioning and helping with dysphoria. It's been two years of her on hormones and I feel like our relationship as friends has drastically changed. She used to be the someone I looked up to because she always seemed like the confident in who she was- She introduced me to the idea that other people probably aren't thinking about me or how I present myself as much as I think people might be ( I was always super self conscious and people pleapleasing) -. We used to joke with each other and rag on each other for fun and laugh and it felt safe and comfortable with each other.

But now after 2 years I find myself consistently second guessing how I approach her, how to joke with her, how to handle disagreements. We're both in our 30's ( I'm older by 3 years) but I feel like I'm having to approach every situation with kid gloves. I love her but I feel like I'm having to hold a lot of the emotional mature weight of our friendship. She gets easily offended and put off or overstimulated when there's even the smallest disagreement or difference of opinion. She is super into herself in the way that feels like I'm talking to someone under 25. She constantly feels like we NEED to be around each other now. And everything has to do with her being a girl now as compared to just being a person. Or like the way I think is "just because I'm a boy." It's like she's overcompensating trying to be what a girl is in her head for fear she might be perceived as a boy. It's like the view point is I do this because Im a girl vs I do this and I happen to be a girl. Her perspective sounds limiting on what being a girl can be, out of fear that it might not read girl. I grew up with all girls in my family and moms side so the idea that girls "do this and don't do that" sounds weird to me. Girls can literally do anything boys do in my head. So I guess my question is has anyone else delt with changing friend ships because of hormones? How did you move forward? Did you have to have some space ?

Tldr, my best friend and roomate has been on hormones for 2 years and now I feel like the dynamic has changed for the worse and feels super insecure and has to be consistently reassured, to where I'm feeling like a drained after school teacher.and dred coming/ being at home. What should I do???

There's no magical forcefeild that a woman sign over a bathroom door creates? A man with bad intentions could walk in whenever so why are people so concerned that a cis man will say "no im a trans woman" like ok? If said person does something horrid saying they're trans doesn't obsolve them of any crimes... this discourse just really confuses me-

I've seen several studies that imply that masculinization or feminization of the fetus can occur, due to a surge of androgens or a lack thereof after sex formation in the fetus.

I recently heard that Studies have shown that stress during pregnancy and pre-eclampsia can masculinize typically female fetuses and feminize typically male fetuses in rats. Of course, not everyone who has gone through this will be cis or trans. Some may be the most gender-conforming cis person, GNC, or trans.

It also appears that testosterone levels are higher in women with pre-eclampsia, and since T is already high and placental dysfunction occurs, more T passes to the fetus.

This is definitely not the only explanation, but as someone who has shown signs of dysphoria since childhood, I wonder if this was one of the reasons that led me to become trans.

I wanted to know if anyone else experienced a turbulent period in the womb while they were with their mother.

I was born weighing two kilograms or less, while my length was normal for a fetus of that age.I was born prematurely at 8 months. My mother experienced stress at the beginning of her pregnancy, an attempted robbery (which must have been quite traumatic), and pre-eclampsia. My umbilical cord felt like it was tightening around my neck when they took me out of her, and I was also going into fetal distress (heart rate between 90-120). I'm only talking about this because of the research. I'm asking if it's a possibility.

So, for context, I just outed myself as trans (mtf) a few days ago to my parents and sister. After questions and talking for like an hour, my mother and sis pulled out some of their old clothes and let me try them on, which made me feel very happy. They also tried their best to quickly change over to my new name.

Only a few hours after I returned home (different city) my mother texted me she erased [old name] and replaced it with [new name] and said that this had hurt and made her feel like I had died and that she had to cry.

Im paraphrasing how she continued: "i know it isn't like that, it's just that i gained something to [old name], but as a mother that loss hurts very much. I loved [old name] very much and now I'm deleting that name. I dont know if you can grasp what that means for a mother. At the same time I'm moved by how well you're doing and am already full of love for [new name]. I hope we can find a way to deal with [old name] and that you will allow me to love him [in reference to my old name] in old pictures and stories which we still want to tell years later without hurting [new name] but also without breaking with/dissociate from [old name]. At the moment that would be like loosing one of my children for me."

I can't even really describe what I'm feeling reading that. It just hurts to be told that I died when I'm alive. I can understand where she is coming from, but i also dont know why she would need to tell me that and in this kind of way too. My relationship with my mother has never been the best because of her and my own psychological issues (mainly depression for me and anxiety and depression for her) but i really improved since figuring out my identity and getting the right medication. And i was happy that my family accepts me, cause I know not everyone is that fortunate.

Yet i have no idea how to respond to this message. I've left her on read trying to think of how to tell her that I appreciate her support but how hurtful that message is and how eerie it is how her text sounds like a split personality.

Does anyone have any advice? Any similar experiences?

I had my first laser hair removal session last week. It hurt like hell since I‘ve got quite thick and dark hair. Now a week later my skin on my chin is still really red and purple. My doctor said it is fine and it should heal by itself, but looking like that is not really helping my dysphoria. Do you have any recommendations for cremes etc. or any other tips that speed up the recovery?
Thanks!

Hi all, I know this is a common type of post so sorry for this but I'm genuinely curious what your thoughts are given my circumstances.

For the evidence:

I am a 28 year old assigned male at birth who has lived a very "tame" life. I've always identified as a cis man in everyday life but ever since I went through puberty I've had on and off thoughts about how hot it would be to have sex and/or play with myself as a woman. I always identified as the woman when I would watch porn, and tended to seek out lesbian content because of that. I also found out as I got older that I loved porn surrounding people changing or transforming in general. I am probably somewhere on the ND spectrum but have never been diagnosed. I enjoy cross-dressing in private while I'm masturbating but the thought of presenting as a woman while in public scares me a lot and is the main reason I have never seriously considered myself as possibly trans up until now. Seems obvious right? Well...

For the non-evidence:

Most of my life I have not been into traditionally "girly" things, and I haven't had many female relationships in general, always hanging out with the boys. I have never been in a long term relationship or had sex before, and I always thought that my desire to be a woman while having sex was either just a kink or a result of me having never lost my virginity and being a bit socially awkward (i.e. desperate). I had convinced myself that a lot of my "weirdness" was because I never dated anyone in my young adult life and that my lack of experience in this area had led me to being confused in my sexuality. As I type this I am aware of how this doesn't make sense, but it's what I believed.

Where this led me:

Despite being mostly content with my life up until this point, I started developing major anxiety issues out of nowhere about 3 years ago. It took me a few months and some therapy sessions to realize that the "trans question" was a major contributor to this anxiety, but I still was steadfast that I was not trans and that I could cope with the anxiety. In the short term the anxiety went away, but over the past few years I kept questioning myself and it slowly creeped up again. I would (ashamedly) feel uncomfortable and anxious anytime I saw a trans person or any mention of trans culture, and in the past few years as I struggled with anxiety I stopped cross dressing in private and practiced avoidance. Eventually the anxiety started causing real problems in my daily life and I decided to start therapy again. Fast forward to today and after a few sessions with my new therapist she has really challenged a lot of the denial I had before, and I am beginning to open up to the possibility that I may, indeed, be trans.

What do you think? How far in the closet am I? It feels very overwhelming to finally be acknowledging I may have been wrong my whole life, but I assume this is pretty similar to what most of you went through? Thank you!

I'm a male in my 30s. I think I might be trans, but my personal situation and where I live leave me in a place where I cannot transition and cannot take HRT, even from DIY sources. These circumstances will last the rest of my life and cannot change. I don't mean "cannot change without some personal cost that I'm too cowardly to make". I mean, I can be a man, or I can be dead.

I am aware that if I am trans, I cannot be truly happy if I cannot transition. But I would still like to provide for others as much as my circumstances allow, avoid an early death, and, maybe, find something that gives my life meaning, even if my day to day life is hard.

However, I don't know what coping mechanisms would allow me to do this. I've tried experimenting with femininity when I have privacy and it just made gender and my body more salient for me, and therefore made me feel worse. I've looked up virtually every thread about the topic here and the replies are all either sarcastic cautionary tales or punt the issue to a gender therapist, which I can't get access to. I know, through secondhand sources, that you can make it to your 60s and older while still identifying as cis. But I don't know the secret to their success. How can I best manage the pain of living with GD without doing something totally self-destructive, like taking recreational drugs/alcohol?

Hey guys, ftm teenager here. I haven't come out yet, only 4 of my friends are aware of the fact I'm trans. Tomorrow I have PE in school, which of course will involve changing. I bind with tape and you can see it from the back somewhat, so even if I'm turned around while changing, it's noticeable. All I can think to do is change as quickly as physically possible and hope nobody notices. But at the end of the day, I can't keep that up for weeks and months. Maybe there's no point in asking, but does anyone have any solutions, any ways to help with this issue? Maybe I should just be open about why I have tape glued to my chest lmao. Thanks:)

I guess the situation is what it says on the label. We were chatting recently and I made a joke about how those filters on Snapchat or whatever that make you look like the opposite gender made me look exactly like him, so if he ever wanted to know what he looked like as a woman, he shouldn't bother with the filter and just look at a picture of me. I thought he'd laugh but he got really quiet and said "yeah", and we kinda just moved on from it. Maybe I'm overthinking it but even if I'm not trans myself I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community and I want my sibling to feel loved and supported. But I also don't want to force him (her?) out before he's ready. But I also ALSO don't want to go barrelling into a wrong conclusion about all this. I don't know. Any and all advice would be appreciated.

Edit: I should add: this is not the sole interaction that has led me to this conclusion, but the other stuff was WAY more subtle and this was the most recent that had everything else line up in my head.

(I'm 33F and my sibling is two years younger than me, if that affects anything, and I apologize ahead of time if I've worded this clumsily.)

Thanks!

I started e and spiro about a week ago and I’ve been wondering how to be a girl? Like now that I’m on estrogen it’s going to be harder to keep pretending to be a guy so how do I stop being a guy and start being a girl

(Also plz don’t say “you’ve always been a girl!” It’s endearing and I appreciate it but it doesn’t help here @~@)

I'm trying to write some stories about trans characters and i really need you guys help