I sent them my 22 page diagnosis report, signed by a doctor.

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend almost a year ago, and we decided to stay friends.

The reason we broke up was because I didn't enjoy talking to her. Whenever we talked, we didn't really.. talk about anything.

I have very limited social energy, so small talk makes me feel irrationally angry and uncomfortable, like I'm bleeding energy I could be using on a more interesting conversation. This was EVERY conversation between us, and it really annoyed me.

About a month ago, I asked some friends what to do about this, and we put together a message (it's the one in the image). I figured it would fix the situation, but a few days later, she asked if it was okay to text occasionally. I said yes (despite being a generally irritable and low-patience person, I struggle to say no).

We go to the same college on the same campus, so she would ask me questions about applications and stuff. Then she kept texting me, sending me memes and then good morning/night and asking how I'm doing.

I don’t want to be mean, and I know she's trying to be caring by reaching out to me. But I can't take this. I don't know what to do. I don’t want to talk to her. I could live with never talking to her again.

I've gotten over the guilt of feeling like this, but I don't know how I would deal with the guilt of cutting her off. I'm one of her only friends, and I don’t want to ruin that for her, especially if she takes it hard and it affects her mentally.

TL;DR: I wanted to stay friends with my ex-girlfriend, but I don't enjoy talking to her anymore, and I don’t know how to cut her off because I feel guilty.

It annoys me to no end and I just want to answer snarkily "no, you're the only one that has ever <felt/thought/done> that."

I am well aware that this is a post about complaining these types of posts, no need to point out the obvious.

I know it’s a bit of a controversial/ complicated topic. Weed has had BOTH positive and negative impacts on my life. One thing I will say that has been drastic is that it helps me empathize. I have a brother who is much more higher functioning than me, and getting high has breached that gap between us. I fully understand him and we play video games together now. He is incredibly knowledgeable about video game, which I never knew up until this moment. Getting high has also helped me be way less hard on myself. As someone who struggles with some pretty bad mental health and has a past of severe self harm, I am glad to say weed has curved me away from that. Yet there are some downside. I do feel like my anxiety can have up’s and downs, weed could be a factor, yet it is still something I have always dealt with. Anything related to low mental health days or bad self care could possibly be linked to my use but it’s a bit of a grey line because I have a history of this outside of when I started smoking
EDIT: based on the many mixed replies it is safe to say results are of course purely based on your experiences and body chemistry. What works for one person may not work for others. That does not mean you are better in any way than those who consume or those who are sober.

This could literally happen to anyone, probably, but speaking from my own development:

Growing up, I was told often how smart I seemed always reading books and my grown up opinions on things, or my weird accent, whatever. Except if I used to read at school it was because there was nothing else I could do because I felt uncomfortable around other kids and I was constantly wishing they died because of how annoying everyone was. Good times /s.

But my dad believed I was going to get a career because I was intelligent, studied a lot and what not. But I failed because who could imagine college is actually really difficult and requires a lot more knowledge and diligence than we knew, and gave up. Also because it costs a lot and we were poor.

Now I'm stuck in a job I hate and do weed all the time to ignore reality as it's the only thing that seems to help.

I guess what I'm getting at is: it would mean a lot to hear the experiences of other autistic folks that have struggled in a similar way (having a promising future and failing) and maybe stories of successfully overcoming those hard times and finding your way in life.

Hi all. I feel like I have had traits of autism my whole life but I've never gone and seen if I really do have autism. Since I really believe I do have it, I would like to join this reddit community. I can learn about other people's traits and see if I have them too, to help me be more or less confident that I have autism. But since I don't officially have it, I would like to ask if I can join this reddit community, if you'll please welcome me?

I’m only asking this because I have just recently come across this problem myself.

I have got into a cartoon called Kaeloo, and if you don’t know what it is, it’s about a frog who constantly persuades her friends to play games with her, to which said games eventually derail into chaos.

It’s sounds really fun to watch (and it is), but here’s the catch… it is a French cartoon. And only the first and fifth seasons are dubbed into English. Therefore it has had limited distribution outside of its home country.

This means that there’s only a small dedicated fan base and I have recently joined the fandom as it’s the only place where people will understand what I’m talking about.

Some of my friends are sort of aware that I’m a fan. My parents aren’t because I’m too embarrassed to tell them. 😂
I also just know that they will either get confused or jokingly groan because it’s another thing I won’t shut up about so I’ve kept quiet about it.

But also it’s left me frustrated by keeping quiet at the same time.

I can’t win! 🙄

Anyway, my experience has given me this idea to know if anybody else is also going through something similar. So what interests do you have that are more hidden away from general knowledge?

I have always felt awkward like an alien robot freak that does not belong on this planet.

Just got humiliated cause i wanted to be a little less chronically online. 😭 cause i failed to answer the phone straight away like i usually do and I completely forgot that I was supposed to meet her at her house tonight. My uni semester break just started and I wanted to have time away from my phone cause ive been so chronically online recently its actually making me sick so ive spent all day doing study and playing some pc games (ik its still chud behaviour but its better than doomscrolling tiktok/instagram). I forgot the visit because I usually visit my mum on saturdays and sundays but my mum was tired and said tuesday instead. I had my phone on my bed, it was on vibrate but i still couldn't hear shit and she started calling me at 7pm. By 8pm she texted saying she's going to call the police if i don't answer asap, i finally got off the computer, checked the phone and I saw the text at 8:25. I tried calling her immediately but it rerouted to a random phone number and i heard a guy on the other side, i was like wtf??? He said he was looking for (my name) and he had my mum looking for me, awkward af. Told him everything was ok and after i ended the call with him, i called my mum and got yelled at, had to apologise to my grandma too cause my mum called her and she tried calling me too. I apologised cause i felt like i had to but my god I was annoyed, I wanted to be phone free for 5 seconds and I felt punished for it. Anyways, I'm 99% sure I have Audhd but only got the tism part officially covered. This sucks.

How do you deal with antisemitism or general bigotry? I’m Jewish (openly) as well as lgbtq, immigrant, and disabled along side my autism. How do I deal with antisemitism? It’s been on the rise for years now generally, but it’s been getting worse in my personal life too. Being called a genocide supporter (I’m a Ukrainian Jew so idk), the K slur, and other horrible things and “jokes” thrown at me.

It’s more by boomer family friends, workplace, and online idiots who do this. My autism gives me a strong sense of justice and spitefulness. I don’t mind telling internet idiots to screw off, but I’m struggling with the personal relationships irl since I can’t do that to my family’s old friends or my work colleagues. My parents are Jewish too, but they don’t get told these things and they just tell me to keep the peace when I bring it up. They also can’t help me with workplace stuff.

How do I handle this? I’m already exhausted from the homophobia, ableism, and xenophobia I deal with all the time. I don’t have the patience for antisemitism too. It’s not anything new, but I’m getting real fucking tired of this shit. I’m going to snap at someone soon and I really don’t want to lose my job or cause friction in my family.

I’m already pissed off with doctors and insurance running me around and at my brother too for claiming my birthday gift I made my dad was ai (it wasn’t I literally just pieced together old photos and videos) so I’m really pissed anyways today. Help please!

Edit: please stop asking me about Israel. I’m a Ukrainian refugee residing in the us. I have nothing to do with Israel and automatically assuming Jews do is antisemitic. I explained my opinions in the comments so if you are curious, just read my replies. Jews are tired of our posts and spaces being hijacked by those inflammatory comments and questions.

And it made it difficult to find someone with the same interest maybe.

I'm considered high-functioning autistic diagnosed at 15 .I also have co morbidities.I have borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder.Recently i've been feeling overwhelmed shamed.I can't hold a job.I'm doing an intensive outpatient program.Therapy seems to be helping a little bit.I feel like I'm unable to function.I can't make friends.I can't have inter personal relationships in the workplace i recently just moved, and it's very overwhelming. I was crying today about it because I was so upset. I said, why do I have this? Why do I have this because II catch myself doing things that would be considered to be of autistic traits like I was getting really excited. Over playdoh flowers and I had to stop myself and say , hey , no , stop it , and it's very exhausting , because I just wish I wasn't such a little kid like my voice is very immature like I feel like I regret a lot.It's very embarrassing it's really embarrassing.

TLDR: I’m upset by what my stepmom said during my autism assessment, mostly because it affirms that I do appear to others the way that I was afraid I appeared. Wondering how to cope with embarrassment and shame.

So I got my official report from my autism assessment, and it included some of the things my stepmom wrote about me on her questionnaires. I thought I would be glad she had noticed my struggles, but from the report, it makes me feel like she feels I’m a self-absorbed hermit who doesn’t want to interact with the outside world or talk about anything that isn’t related to me. It’s true, I have trouble with these things, but her depiction of me brings out my worst fears about how others perceive me. I really know she wasn’t trying to be hurtful but provide the best information, and it did aid in my diagnosis.

Some background-my mom was my primary caretaker and support person. In hindsight, she was probably neurodivergent too. I lived with her a lot of my life and took care of her before she passed away about a year and a half ago. She knew me the best. I now live with my dad and stepmom. It’s hard for me to live alone. They got married when I was 22 so she wasn’t a mother figure to me in childhood.

Anyway, this is upsetting to me but I don’t feel comfortable talking to her about it. It really makes me grieve for my mom who knew me and accepted me just as I am. How can I reframe this in my mind? This is not how I want to appear to people. I am embarassed and ashamed.

No one except my dad and my stepmom know about my autism diagnosis. I wonder if I should tell people so they know why I might come across as self-absorbed, disconnected or unmotivated to make friends.

Thanks for listening.

26-year-old AuDHD person here. I don’t like having sex and when I want to take a break from something i.e cleaning, working, etc. then the first thought (bad habit) is to masturbate because it functions as an escape. An intense activity.

I’d like to cut down on this so searching for alternatives! Maybe some of you have had a similar experience.

A song I especially like is all my life by Daki Kasho(from the gran turismo game series). Anyone else have other such examples?

I don't know if this is an Autism thing or just a me thing but I was wondering if anybody else experiences this. Usually when I dream I don't just watch the other characters in my dream, I become them. So I'll be myself and then I'll be somebody else and then I'll be somebody else, I might even end up being an animal. I woke up from my dream like that this morning and I thought that maybe it's a bit odd. I wonder if other people experience this. I'm an extremely empathetic person and I think that contrary to popular myth a lot of autistic people are hyper empathic rather than the opposite. I think I'm empathic to the point where I often don't have like good boundaries energetically. Like I can be walking down the street and just look at some random stranger and it totally shakes me up because I can feel whatever they're going through. That's probably the reason I don't like looking at people in the eyes because it's even more intense but even being around people can be hard for that reason.

TLDR:

The expectations to be a social butterfly in the office is one of those unwritten rules that sucks. It comes up in my performance review even though it's not part of my actual job and no matter how hard I work or try, ultimately I have little control over well I "perform" at this task.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every year this comes up, that I'm doing a good job but my boss wishes I would go to more socials outside work hours and pop around to peoples desks to randomly chat to them during office hours.

The thing is I do have a few really good friends there who I'll go to lunch with and chat to during work hours, but on days that they are not in, I might spend lunch somewhere quiet on my own to try recharge. My life is a constant state of trying to recovery and recharge.

It's a MASSIVE energy cost for me to make small talk with random people I'm not friends with and now that I'm a parent and recovering from burnout I'll do my best avoid huge energy drains and it's true I probably do even less office socialising now. But I do make an effort.

When I push back, and say that I do chat a fair bit to people I'm close with, he'll start naming random people on my team and ask how I get it on with them. I'll say fine, even though I don't talk to them much. Interactions are pleasant though I don't consider them friends.

I haven't told my company that I have Autism and ADHD but sometimes I feel I should, seems that they claims to be all about inclusivity (large corporate office job) and they might actually accept me not being the social butterfly you need to be to be considered doing your job well.

Telling them im AuDHD or spicy could backfire but it also might get them off my back as they won't want to not be seen as inclusive.

I don't want to say that chatting is not in my job description as that could ruffle feathers as it seems to be one of the unwritten rules that can make or break you in a workplace I definitely don't want the "sorry but you're not a good fit for our team chat" that some many neurodiverse people get.

I'm trying to think tactically what is the best way to deal with this when it comes up:

Do I tell them the truth or that I'm nuerospicy (keeps my condition vague) and this is an accomodation I need, I need less social pressure?

Do I argue, "but I do socialise lots, way more than actually want to, and I'm friends with a few people and chat lots on quieter days" which is also true.

Do I just say vaguely, "ah yeah, I'll make more of an effort thanks for pointing it out." Tactically, probably the best but a bit of my soul dies!

Or maybe there's a better way to handle this?

When you set a time for yourself and a task for yourself and you fail miserably trying to accomplish the certain tasks in certain times that you’ve set for yourself?
How do you not hate yourself be forgiving and kind to yourself?
Specially while you are also dealing with chronic illness and trauma and all of these mixed together with adhd and other neurodivergent issues?
How to accept that this is how I am and one can never function like “normal people” how can we give this complete
acceptance?
I’ve realised that no matter how much someone with adhd and autism tries, they can never seem to reverse their autism or adhd, so how is this going to be forever unfair to live in this society where you’ll never fit in probably and being okay with it?

Hi everyone. I’ve long suspected I might be autistic, but I’ve never found a community where I could interact with others on the spectrum and talk about it without feeling ashamed. I don’t have a diagnosis because my parents don’t seem to care about it (at least not when it comes to me, since my 3-year-old brother is already diagnosed). I’ve done a lot of research and strongly identify with various traits on the spectrum, but I don’t want to self-diagnose. I’m just looking for a place to talk about my experiences and read about others'. Am I welcome here?

So I was at CAMHS (awful never going again but that's another story) and he was all like "yes girl those hallucinations are just the autism it's called 'psychotic like experiences' we can't do anything about it so sux"

So like does anyone else have that? I'm p sure theres something I can do about hallucinating men in my closet so .... How do y'all cope?

M20

Not this subreddit specifically, since I see a lot of vent posts here with 0 engagement, but whenever I post on subreddits like r/trauma, r/CPTSD, r/lonely, or here I get 0 engagement, and it makes me sad and a bit angry since I spend some time writing out my feelings so that the reader udnerstands my situation and makes me feel like no one cares about my pain and what I've gone through.

I have no one in the real world aside from my parents (they're wonderful, but they just don't quite understand my pain and how I see the world and perceive things) and 2 siblings who are jerks to me, so I thought I could express my feelings and pain on Reddit, but I almost always get no comments, sometimes I get DMs but when I reply they never message me back, I'm shocked that people manage to make online friends here since I've had no such luck whatsoever, all I want is be able to message and talk to someone around my age who's preferably a woman since I feel way more comfortable and find it easier to be msyelf and talk to woman after my painful past with men.

I get that not everyone has the time or patience to read and reply to a multi-paragraph vent post, but it still frustrates and hurts me.

If I shouldn't be asking this here I am very sorry! I just wasn't really sure where to ask this and it has been bothering me.

I would like to start by saying I have never been diagnosed with any mental disorders. I relate to some of the symptoms and have wondered before if I have autism or ADHD, but I have never been tested. This is completely an outside perspective.

Okay, my friends at school, my brother, and a few other kids are all in a friend group. Only one of the girls on this group has self-diagnosed autism. Knowing some of the traits and symptoms I would say she isn't faking or anything like that, but her parents are the type of people who "don't believe in that".

One thing my brother and a few of the people will do is whenever some is acting a little silly, is hyperfixated on something, distracted and talking to someone excitedly, or anything like that they will say "Oh, that's so autistic!", "They're just being autistic", "They're just having an autism moment", or some other crap like that.

It makes me uncomfortable and I don't participate in the jokes. I feel like they're rude and disrespectful and the same category as "I'm so OCD" when someone likes things being neat. I just don't know if I'm allowed(?) to feel that way since I'm not diagnosed. I don't really want to say anything if it's not bothering other people who actually have a say in what's offense and rude. But if it is an issue than I don't want to stand around doing nothing. Thank you for your time.

I'm imagining I have a bar showing my social score and it goes from negative to positive, like in a video game. I think most people feel like they start of with a neutral score, or maybe a negative or positive score depending on their relationship and history with the person. For me the score is almost always negative. Even if I'm talking to my friend, who I just had a great conversation with yesterday, it's still slightly negative. It's like I can't save up my social points, the bar just resets every time. Idk maybe I'm just deeply insecure, but I feel like I always got to prove myself and I assume that people are generally displeased with me.

Throughout my whole life even though I’ve had plenty of friends and even have two bestfriends, none of them have quite been people I can talk to about anything fully and really click with.

I watch it in people around me all the time- They find someone and they hit it off instantly and they’re best buddies in a week, they laugh and they know exactly what to say to one another

With me, close friendships take months to build despite making effort. I talk, I ask questions and try my best to get to know them, I have hobbies and interests- It’s not like I’m an empty person but regardless nothing just seems to click right.

I watch how other people talk to eachother and I try and memorise the formula to it like theres a secret recipe, and I get very obsessive over figuring out how people gel so instantly, but I can’t. I’ve been trying for years now.

Even worse these people I’m talking about that gel instantly with one another, they’re people that also have autism. For whatever reason I struggle to fit in even with other neurodivergent people.

I hate crowds, clubbing, overly long hangouts, going new places every other day. I prefer quiet cosy hangouts like getting coffee or shopping in charity shops, but no one else seems to feel the same way (I’m in my 20’s for context).

I feel like I’m missing out on a huge chunk of life- meant to be spent forming connections and having fun and going on adventures, but I’ve never experienced it and I feel sad

Anyone else feel this?