For about a year and a half I answered everything the second it came in, didn't matter if it was 7pm or a Sunday. Figured that's what being reliable looked like, and for a while it seemed to work, I got the good projects, got asked to sit in on calls I technically didn't need to be on.

Then I got skipped for a lead role in March. Went to someone with less tenure who, from what I could tell, mostly just left on time and didn't say much in meetings.

I didn't quit or make a scene about it, just quietly stopped doing the after-hours thing. Turned off notifications at 6, left anything that came in overnight until the next morning unless it was actually urgent, which almost nothing ever was.

Nothing happened for the first few weeks. Genuinely thought I'd made things worse, kept expecting someone to say something.

Then in this quarter's check-in my manager mentioned to HR, in front of me, that I'd "really grown" in how I manage my workload and that I seem a lot more in control this year. Same output as before, honestly probably less total hours, just less visible scrambling.

Not posting this as a brag, more just confused about how "answering everything immediately" read as chaotic instead of dedicated, and "answering during work hours only" reads as competence. Feels backwards from what I was taught early on.

TLDR: stopped answering messages outside work hours, got told I "grew" this quarter despite doing less total time, not more.

I’m 28F and I’ve been at my current job for about two months. I’m new to office work, although I’ve worked for years in retail/hospitality (4 years total between a café and a restaurant). I also did a 3-month traineeship before this job, where everyone was happy with my work.
A few days ago, my manager sat me down and told me that I’m doing badly. Like, really badly.
They said I keep making mistakes that I shouldn’t be making at this point, that I forget things, and that I don’t give enough feedback/update people. They also said they’ve given me very little to do and that they “don’t know what to do with me.”
The last part is especially confusing to me because I genuinely feel like I never stop working. I’ve even stayed late several times, despite that time not being paid. I know that my perception of my workload might not be completely accurate, but it’s hard to reconcile hearing that I have very little to do when I constantly feel overwhelmed.
August has also made things harder because where I live, pretty much everyone takes vacation during this period. A lot of the people who normally work with me have been on PTO, so I’ve had less support and fewer people around to ask questions.
I’m not going to pretend they’re completely wrong. I know I’ve made mistakes and forgotten things. But I feel like I’m struggling to the point where I don’t know if I have it in me to fix everything they pointed out.
The worst part is the anxiety. I’ve been waking up every morning with this horrible feeling in my stomach, and I feel like a shadow of myself. I’ve never felt this bad at a job before. I’m constantly afraid I’ve forgotten something or that I’m going to make another mistake.
I feel incredibly humiliated. I’m used to being someone who works hard and does a good job, so being told, essentially, “we don’t know what to do with you” has really shaken me.
Part of me really wants to quit. I have this feeling that they want me to quit anyway, and honestly, I’m tempted to just let go. At the same time, I know I’ve only been there for two months and this is my first real office job, so maybe I’m just going through the difficult adjustment period and need to learn how to work differently.
I’m also still studying for my master’s, so I’m trying to figure out whether this is simply a bad fit or whether I’m giving up too quickly because I’m overwhelmed.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you eventually improve, or was it a sign that the job just wasn’t a good fit for you?

I’ve been thinking about something quite funny lately.

There’s a pretty big gap between how I honestly see myself at work and how my managers and colleagues seem to see me.

They see me as a hard worker and someone very committed.

And honestly… I don’t really see myself that way

I work in IT, and I’ll be completely honest: I’m a bit of a slacker sometimes.

There are days when I’m working from home and I’ll spend way too much time talking to my girlfriend. Sometimes I’ll even play on my console or sleep during working hours. I even watch p*rn sometimes (i am not proud about that).

I also have this annoying habit of procrastinating on tasks that I know I have to do. I can leave something sitting on my to-do list for two or three weeks, barely touch it, and then suddenly, two days before the deadline, I get my shit together and work on it like crazy.

The funny thing is that the final result is usually very good. So people don't necessarily see the procrastination part. They see the finished product.

And when a project really gets serious, I’m a completely different person.

If there’s a critical deadline, a major issue, something that needs to be figured out quickly, or a project that really needs me, I can work extremely hard for days.

I’ve actually done very well on quite a few projects between 2024 and 2026, and that ended up getting me two promotions.

The sponsors of some of these projects also seem to really like working with me and apparently recommend me quite a lot internally.

So I’ve somehow built a reputation as this guy who works really hard and gets things done.

If they only knew what I was actually doing on some random Tuesday afternoon at home......

I think part of it is that I understand new topics quite quickly and tend to have a pretty holistic view of things. Once I actually get into a subject, I can connect the dots quite quickly and work very efficiently.

So maybe I’m not actually a hard worker in the traditional sense.

Maybe I’m just very good at turning it on when it matters.

I’m genuinely curious about other people’s experience with this.

Do other people work this way, and how do you reconcile your own perception of your work ethic with the false reputation you’ve built at work?

Because apparently I’m a hard worker.

In my own head, I’m just a reasonably effective procrastinator who occasionally goes absolutely nuclear when the deadline gets close.

I (M48) have been in my company for going on 16 years now. I am at a supervisor level.

I helped shape and essentially create department I’m in, from the workflow to the office layout.

Recently, my manager was fired for conflict of interest. HR did a full investigation to see if I was involved and determined that I was not.

However, two new replacements have come in: one replacement at a senior manager level and another replacement for my fired manager.

These two replacements, both of whom have never worked with me or know me, have come in and essentially gave me an ultimatum: either resign immediately or be fired. They have concluded that my department is poorly run and that I have unhappy employees under me.

Up until now, I have had no issues with HR and employee turnover is nominal. However my two new bosses have told me that I must improve relationships of my staff and create a more positive environment.

My annual reviews for the past 16 years have been positive and glowing. I do not know how or why they think my office is poorly run.

I have met with staff on a 1 on 1 basis and asked if there are any improvements that I need to make as a supervisor. Literally none of my staff had any problems with me, most gave me glowing praise and said they love my management style.

Nevertheless, my new bosses gave me 90 days to “change things around” or be fired - but offer no clear objectives or goals. Whenever I try to state my side or ask questions - they claim I’m being defensive or difficult.

I’m at a loss of what to do here. I used to love going to work and I honestly thought I had great relationships with my staff. I’m lost right now.

I’m open to reaching out to HR or a lawyer, but I really don’t know what the best move is.

I am currently self employed and doing ok for myself, but am looking for more stability, so I started actively job seeking. I saw an opportunity pop up with a professional connection who I really click with, applied and got an interview. It's a small non-profit that's bringing on its first team members. The pay and benefits are pretty good, I like the folks on the team and it seems like it would fit my life and goals well.

The hitch is I recently got married, and my husband and I booked a long-awaited 3-week international bike tour in February for our honeymoon. I wasn't planning on bringing this up until after receiving / before accepting an offer, since that's what I thought the general rule of thumb was. I recently saw a thread on reddit that has me questioning whether this applies to a 3-week trip.

A potential complication: they did ask me during the screening interview whether anything in my schedule would effect my start date. Given that offers will be sent in October, I told them no — I'd just need to wrap up any existing projects I have for my current clients. It didn't even cross my mind to mention the vacation.

Did I mess up? When should I bring up my honeymoon?

My boss isn’t very involved in my work. A couple times a week he might ask me to do something. He has never provided me an ounce of feedback in the last year I’ve worked there. He’s just disconnected and busy with his own stuff.

Anyways, today he emailed me & asked me to do something. His boss replied all and corrected him on what he was asking. He wasn’t originally on the cc line.

We all three work closely together anyways. I don’t understand what the purpose of the bcc instead of the cc was.

Is this normal?

Some quick context here, I very recently got a job offer from a company that would be a promotion and a ~30% raise from my current role. I am not in a position to turn this down outright, but I genuinely like the company I work for now and want to give them a chance to match the offer before I officially sign it and put in my two weeks. If they can match it, I would happily stay, but if not, I’d obviously have to leave.

I am planning to have this conversation tomorrow and want to be prepared. How should I best approach a conversation like this? Do you think it would be a good idea to provide the competing offer letter if they ask to see it?

I have never initiated a conversation like this before, so any advice on best practices would be greatly appreciated!

I will be interviewing for an internal transfer within the next 1-2 weeks. I am an Engineer 1 in my role for just over 2 years, and I know I will be promoted to 2 in November or May. While I do meet the requirements for Eng 2, the role I will interview for is hiring for an Engineer 1 OR 2. Typically transfers like this hire for a 2 or 3, so the promotion is guaranteed. How do I approach that in my interview? I was thinking to phrase it like this: "I'm currently expecting to be promoted to Engineer 2 in my current group in November or May, what my path to Engineer 2 in this group?" I do not plan to take the transfer if I am offered to start at Eng 1. I have not interviewed for a job since I was 20 looking for internships, I’m completely out of my element.

My department is currently undergoing a restructure in titles. Our current title/role are “ business analyst” (BA), and we were told that our title is now changing to product managers (PM). This will come with slightly more responsibility so they are giving us all pay bumps to account for that. In conversations with my coworker, I found out what they offered her for this new title was thousands more than what I was offered. She has been a BA for 2 years less than I have, which means I have been making less this whole time in the same role.

How do I go about talking to HR to get at least the same amount that she is if we are expected to do the same role with the same amount of responsibilities with the same titles. When HR talked to me about my pay increase they said it was within industry standards, and competitive among competitors (I work in a very niche industry, company like, so not many competitors).

Is it even worth going back to HR knowing what I know now and risk putting my coworker in any danger for talking about their salary with me?

I’m really struggling in my current job and I’m starting to feel like I’m just bad at it.

The weird thing is, I don’t think I’m an incompetent person. I have around 2.5 years of previous experience in another company and I did completely fine there. I’m also generally a pretty confident person outside of work. But in this job, I feel like I’ve lost almost all of that confidence.

When I initially joined, I didn’t have much work and was actually told that the scope of my role was limited and probably wouldn’t increase much. Since then, the scope has increased quite a bit, but at the same time I constantly feel like I’m being pressured to meet expectations that I don’t fully understand.

Almost every 1:1 seems to involve feedback that I need to do more or improve something. I genuinely feel like I’m giving 110%, but I still come away feeling like I’m not doing enough. The problem is that I don’t really know what “doing more” actually looks like anymore. I keep feeling like I’ve missed something.

Meetings have become especially difficult. Other people seem to be given space to explain their work, give suggestions and speak for themselves. With me, I often feel like my manager speaks on my behalf or the conversation moves on before I properly get a chance to contribute. I’ve started feeling quite sidelined.

I’ve made suggestions for improving some of our processes too, because a lot of the work is extremely manual and repetitive, but most of my suggestions have been dismissed. After having that happen repeatedly, I’ve basically stopped feeling confident enough to suggest things.

It has also affected the way I speak. English isn’t my first language, but my English is good and I know I can communicate well. Outside this environment, I don’t struggle like this. At work, though, I get so tense that suddenly I can’t find the right words, my mind goes blank, and I probably visibly look nervous. Then I become even more self conscious because I’m worried that this makes me look less capable.

The biggest thing hanging over me is probation. The job market is incredibly difficult and it took me nearly a year of searching to get this role. So every piece of negative feedback immediately makes me think, “What if they don’t keep me?” That fear then makes me more anxious, and the anxiety probably makes my performance worse. It feels like a horrible cycle.

On top of that, the actual work itself doesn’t feel like it is developing my skills very much. A lot of it is manual process work, and there doesn’t seem to be much interest from management in improving the processes. So I’m stressed about keeping a job that I don’t even particularly enjoy, mainly because I’m terrified of being unemployed again.

Has anyone been in a situation where a workplace completely destroyed their professional confidence?
And how do you get your confidence back in meetings when anxiety is making you look and sound much less capable than you actually are?

Okay so I just got out of the military after 11 years, my wife is stay at home mother and she homeschool our 3 kids and takes care of the farm animals I’m looking for a job that I will be able to work a lot of hours I don’t mind working long hours at all just need to try to find something that will allow me and my family to keep our lifestyle that we want with today’s economy with me working OT hours Thank you in advance

So i had an exit interview booked for today but I just cancelled it and was just going to write an email saying : I’m leaving because of my boss, I tried to file complaints and no one listened or asked for proof which I have and I just can’t be abused in this way anymore so after 10 years, it took one year of a bad boss to make me leave.

I just wonder if they’ll tell my ex boss about it. I still work on projects in the community and I wouldn’t want him being vindictive and hurting that for me.

The best habit I ever saw was a manager who told me directly when I did something wrong, in private, the same day, and then moved on. No buildup, no saving it for a review three months later. I always knew where I stood, and it made me trust everything else he said. The worst was a different manager who agreed with everything in one-on-ones and then said the opposite in group meetings.

What's a manager habit, good or bad, that affected how you worked or how you felt about the job?Did it change how you manage or plan to manage other people?

Did I fumble the offer?

Got an offer yesterday at 10am.

I might’ve sounded less than enthusiastic.

Their pay isn’t what I was looking for so I countered 7.9% more.

Recruiter said they’d do some digging and get back to me.

No call since yesterday and no email.

Not sure if I should wait or follow up.

Any chance they just decided to ghost?

19, 3 years into recruitment and already dreading work — what should I do?

I’ve been in recruitment for around 3 years and started a new temp recruitment role at the end of July.

The weird thing is, I don’t think I’m actually bad at the job. My output is good, I get enquiries, get candidates interested and follow the process. But I’m finding the constant chasing, ghosting, candidates not turning up and pipelines disappearing really stressful.

I’ve started waking up with anxiety about work and genuinely dread going in.

I’m starting to wonder whether I just genuinely hate recruitment/sales, despite being decent at it.

There’s a local farm near me that recently had a sign up looking for staff, and I’m seriously considering going in and asking about it. I think I’d much prefer something more hands-on and potentially a mix of farm/shop work.

Has anyone else left recruitment for something completely different? Would you stick it out or start looking elsewhere?

Three months ago, I showed interest in a lead position after multiple upper level people pushed me to apply. After someone else who wasn’t a lead assumed most of the responsibilities for that role, I figured I didn’t get it and my application was needed to diversify the listing. I was pulled into the office and asked if I was still interested. I said I would be interested in a future opening… but they want me to confirm my new schedule and start ASAP. I stalled for time to think about it bc I’m in the process of interviewing for something else.

The job is incredibly stressful, the raise is minimal compared to the effort expected, management has hinted I’d have to rat on my coworkers as much as possible, and as a younger member of staff (youngest on my team by over a decade) I’m sure this would cause conflict. The ONLY reason I’m thinking of taking it is for the “Lead” title on my resume. My goal is just to survive til Jan as everyone not in management is on the verge of quitting.

I applied to several temp agencies and spread my resume around and got a hit the other day - 1yr contract that has high potential to get me connections at my local uni and also to be renewed as long as I preform decently. It’s also over double what I am making now. The recruiter is pushing me very hard (she’s new and said she needed “an easy win” and I looked like one) and I’m interviewing next week with a potential start time within the next two-three weeks. No garuntees ofc, but there are also several smaller jobs that pay 1.5x that the recruiter wants to put me forward on if this one doesn’t work out.

I’m torn because the promotion locks me into so much responsibility for so little, but I’d feel like a monster if I got a job and put in my 2 weeks days after accepting a promotion. I’m just going to push it out as much as I can until I can get a bit more info on if the gig is on lock. If it is, I’ll probably turn it down. If I don’t get it, I’ll ask my recruiter if I should publicly announce my promotion or not as we continue to look at other roles.

I'm in Ontario and trying to decide between two offers and would love some perspective from people who've been in a similar situation.

Option A: Permanent position with a large, established company. Compensation is in the low-$100Ks, with benefits, vacation, and ~3% RRSP matching. The downside is 3 days/week in office, with a 4–4.5 hour round-trip commute on those days.

Option B: 12-month contract with a smaller company. The annualized gross income would be roughly 50–55% higher than the permanent offer, but there are no health benefits, RRSP matching, or paid vacation/stat holidays. It's also 3 days/week in office, but only a ~12-minute commute each way.

The contract is obviously more attractive financially, but I'm trying to figure out how much value to put on the benefits, stability, and potentially lower pressure of the larger company. I'm also wondering whether working for a smaller company could mean significantly more workload.

For people who've made a similar decision:

• How would you value the benefits/RRSP/stability of the permanent role?
• How much weight would you give the huge difference in commute?
• Does the ~40–45% higher gross income make the contract an obvious choice, even after accounting for unpaid vacation, holidays, benefits, and contractor-related costs/taxes?
• Would you personally take the contract or permanent role, and why?

Would especially appreciate perspectives from people who've gone from permanent employment to contracting.

Hello,

I had a 3rd round interview with Global Director of Program management on 8/3/26.

I thought I did well during initial, 2nd round and 3rd round interview.

On 8/13/26 HR asked for my salary expectations from and I said the middle of the posted range.

I followed up with them on 8/21/26 for any updates at 9-10am

Today is 8/31/26 and I have heard nothing back from them.

Does this mean I am essentially ghosted and should not expect an offer?

I am extremely anxious and worried because I wanted it to end up well, but I think they at have silently rejected me?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

I won’t get too much into the specifics but I work for a large corporation based in the US. I’m a program lead for my department with over a decade of experience in my particular niche.

We recently deployed an RFP for a new software solution and are currently in the midst of reviewing product demos with a small group of SAAS vendors. My director is running point on the RFP but I have a heavy hand in making the final decision for which vendor to move forward with for implementation.

Last week we met with a vendor whose product blew me away. We’re talking all the bells and whistles, software ‘flexibility’ to meet our business needs, you name it.

It was so compelling that it’s actually making me consider applying for a sales engineering position at this company to sit across the table and actually sell and promote this product.

In my mind, it carries massive risk that our potential vendor could/would share word with my current employer that I am considering leaving my current position. And it’s not even guaranteed I would get this position! Especially during a critical time of solution implementation where my expertise would be invaluable to my current employer.

People of Reddit - please tell me if this is stupid to even apply for this position. Anyone who has changed careers to work for a vendor of their former employer also are welcome to share their experiences.

I’ve been pretty unhappy with my current job lately.

A really great opportunity came knocking at my door. I applied. Went through a very extensive and honestly draining multi-step interview process.

I actually felt really good after each interview. I connected well with the team. I even met the CEO and had a great conversation/interview with him.

I’m in leadership and I interview often. So the flow felt great and easy. I didn’t feel anything went awry.

After the last interview I reached out. The hiring official responded with my name and an exclamation mark and said he was really glad I got to meet with the executives and get to know everyone. Originally he said he’d have an answer in 1-2 weeks but after that interview he said he’d let me know by Monday (this was Thursday)

Today I received a very cold and chatGPT like rejection email without even a subject title.

Almost like a “oh yeah I better let that guy know it’s a no”

I mean holy mixed signals.

I’m actually pretty disappointed. Everything seemed like it went really well. A friend recommended me for this position and was in one of the interviews. He told me my interview went well and everyone liked me.

I guess I got my hopes up but I’m confused.