467
u/Difficult_Cow8886 3h ago
People should have kids when they want to and are ready. Not just because they feel obligated by society because they are getting older 😅 funny comic though
170
u/dtb1987 2h ago
Although I would like to point out things do get more complicated once start getting into your late 30s early 40s
95
u/Dixiehusker 1h ago
Yeah, having kids isn't always a 'whenever you're ready' capability. There's a shelf life to that opportunity.
40
u/TheGardenerAtWillows 1h ago
Getting pregnant at 35 is considered a geriatric pregnancy and carries a host of complications, according to my wife’s OBGYN
18
u/dtb1987 1h ago
Oh trust me I know, my wife got pregnant at 37 and it was an adventure, the pregnancy was hard and complicated and so was the delivery. Our son is healthy but also level 2 autistic, which may or may not have something with all the things that happened during the pregnancy or both of our age or just genetics.
Disclaimer: Every time I bring this up on reddit someone feels compelled to tell me everything we "did wrong" so if you are reading this and thinking about leaving that comment just don't, I don't want to fucking hear it and you don't know anything about me, my wife or the situation
•
u/aerris7 59m ago
People telling you things you "did wrong" after hearing this story is just wild. You shouldn't need a disclaimer at the end because of weird busybodies, I'm sorry that happened. I hope you and your family are happy and healthy, and big love to you from a parent of two autistic sons!
-7
u/Dabaer77 1h ago
It's just a statistical milestone that is changing literally every year as prenatal care gets better every year.
13
u/shnowflake 1h ago
Age 35 defined as “Advanced Maternal Age” hasn’t changed in 50 years
•
u/apocalyptic_tea 16m ago
Well the literal terminology has changed, it was geriatric pregnancy for a while, but the age marker did not you’re right about that.
49
u/Tandy600 2h ago
That's not just a societal pressure though. Getting older complicates things in multiple ways. At a certain age it's not just lower chance offertility, but also a greater chance of of health issues for the baby.
Being at that age puts a certain pressure on a person for havings kids now to ensure best chance and healthiest baby, or wait until you're settled into you're job more/finances feel more secure/etc.
(And no I am not saying that being an older parent guarantees complications, but many hopeful parents that haven't made the choice yet are wanting to consider all angles and that's one of them.)
6
u/s0m3on3outthere 2h ago
There's also adoption and surrogacy. The most common reason I hear for sooner than later kids is they don't want to be 60 when their kid graduates.
I don't have anything to stress about in that regard though. Yeeted my fallopians
•
u/Supercoolguy7 21m ago
Surrogacy is insanely more expensive.
Adoption often isn't really realistic unless you're ready to adopt an older child or a teenager, which unless you've had some experience or an existing connection to the child it is going to be much harder to navigate the feelings and associated with that. It's not easy
11
u/Slickity 1h ago
Those aren't really valid options for the majority of people.
-2
u/Tandy600 1h ago edited 30m ago
Wanting to have a biological child with your spouse is a valid desire. Opting for adoption and surrogacy are entirely valid too, but telling someone (who wants to have a child and is wrestling with the many, many fears and concerns that go along with it) to adopt or go the surrogate route instead feels dismissive or disrespectful.
•
u/s0m3on3outthere 1m ago
That's not what I meant at all, you are assuming.
What I am saying is if someone isn't ready when they are younger but feel rushed because of their age, they do have options if they want to wait til they are older and don't want to risk pregnancy (which all pregnancy and labor are a possible life risk on the pregnant person's life, regardless of age- my sister was only mid 20s and almost died during labor..). They are the same options available to those who cannot reproduce without intervention. My best friend had a healthy birth and pregnancy at 44 though.
However, a lot of people feel the rush regarding their age because a lot of people don't want to be older when their kid is growing - they worry it will inhibit their physical capabilities and they'll miss out on activities with their kids or not be around for grandchildren.
-1
u/shnowflake 1h ago
Also it’s weird, but like…. Every extra year you wait to have kids, is one less year you get to have with them. Two or three years could be the difference between attending their college graduation, wedding, meeting your grandkids. This is why I wish I had kids sooner
29
u/nolabender 2h ago
Yeah unfortunately that mindset only works for 50% of the population. The less important 50% for baby making.
9
u/curiouslyendearing 1h ago
That's not actually true. The older men get the more likely their sperm is to carry mutations and other degredations that can cause health issues in their kids.
•
u/shnowflake 58m ago
Yes, this is very true. Men just have a longer timeline, more rapid decline begins around 45 for men rather than 35 for women
10
u/Braakman 2h ago
Also, not getting kids is a perfectly valid choice.
-2
u/Ardent_Scholar 1h ago
I feel like everyone knows this already. No one is having kids. Trying to have them feels like the less glorified option at this point.
7
u/XimbalaHu3 2h ago
I do think age is a valid concern to have, as there is absolutelly a point where you are just too old to handle kids everyday of your life for a decade and then teenagers for another decade.
Of course not having children is also completelly okay, but if your doctors advise against playing catch with your children because your hip might just not make it, you might want to reconsider having children at all.
2
u/WhereIsMyFknDinosaur 1h ago
Agreed. Waited till our mid 30s. Im sad my son didnt get to know me in my 20s and 30s but I wasnt ready and our life wasnt stable enough. Now is a better environment (in our lives) and our focus is on him primarily
4
u/ThePoetofFall 2h ago
Unfortunately it is better to have a kid earlier, both for the health of the parent and the child. Like, I appreciate the sentiment, but this obligation exists for a reason.
3
u/Febrilinde 1h ago
Getting older is a factor you should not ignore though. Having a child is physically draining, at older ages it is much harder to perform parental duties.
3
u/Febrilinde 1h ago
Also there is something else no one mentioned which I will add. Overtime there is also the issue of losing support from your bigger family. At their 40's-50's most people would love to support their grandkids anyway they can but in their 70's-80's and onward they are the ones needing the help. Hence it will be extra draining without proper support if you have your children at your late 40's even if you handled the health hurdles.
1
•
u/damn_lies 15m ago
You can be financially ready, but you'll never be ready. At a certain point it's a leap of faith.
0
0
u/farmerjoee 2h ago
I agree. A lot of young adults want kids though, but mentally plan for it later in life. Then life catches up and you naturally feel a bit of pressure.
81
56
u/hackingfun 2h ago
The last panel reflects really well how girls' jeans have such tiny pockets, it's a miracle the phone doesn't fall out of them, whereas I bet the guy has pockets so big Panny could fit inside.
8
u/Sp00ky-Nerd 2h ago
One of the only things I miss after I started wearing women's clothes. Although, occasionally I do like the cleaner lines from small or no pockets (only when I want to dress fancy, not for day-to-day).
10
u/SlyJackFox 2h ago
I adopted later in life and was a big part of raising my younger relatives and some god children. Never had my own biological children, but I raised or helped raise nine others from ages 6-18. To this day they call and visit me because I was the fun and knowledgeable adult that gave them the time of day in their lives. I could only do that because I spent more time on myself earlier on in adulthood.
29
u/drillgorg 3h ago
Providing basically no material for the Feet People lol
22
u/DarkScruff 3h ago
Is there a test or something?
14
u/Sagutarus 2h ago
As the firstborn child of teen parents I can assure you that the prerequisites are purely biological...
15
u/Mr_HIghways_End 2h ago
I always tell people having kids is the best thing I would never recommend to anyone else
2
8
12
u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 3h ago edited 2h ago
Oh Lord there goes the shoe. Better get that. Those suckers as expensive.
It takes two to tango and maybe it's time to have a more serious conversation with Panny. But if she's not ready, she's not ready. But that's a whole conversation in itself
10
8
•
u/Mammoth-Buddy8912 27m ago
It's funny in my experience a lot of doctors are are changing from you need to be pregnant before 35, because of the stigma, it's not as different from 25 as people make it out to be, and becoming quite common that people getting pregnant later in life. That's what my friends who had kids in their early 40's told me anyway.
5
5
-1
u/anonymote_in_my_eye 2h ago
when you're married to a child, you're already halfway to being a parent
the other half is cleaning poop and pee from random and often unexpected places
-1
-1
86
u/Miserable-Anxiety229 2h ago
Don’t follow the Lifescript if you aren’t sure. Just enjoy your life.