I was arguing w parents and they started talking bad abt gay ppl and regurgitating fox news word vomit and i just spit out “im gay” i later clarified bi but i feel so weird. They acted normalish i guess but im scared theyre going to think about it more and cut me off or something. I have surgery on my leg 2 weeks from now too and im going back home and theyre gonna take care of me 😭 greatttt timing. I mean i am a chronic loner and have never dated anyone for real. The stats are not in my favor so why did i even say anything. Its not like ill ever find someone so why even say anything. If i had a gf or literally even have had a gf i could justify it but i feel kinda stupid. Like its a big part of my life. And i want love and all the things. I just feel so scared. Thats the bottom line and i know i didnt do anything wrong. Because being gay is lit af and i love it 😭 but god. Dad saying “i wish you werent but ill deal with it”. Could be worse but it still hurt so bad. And the little stuff im worried about. Will they hug me the same? I dont think my sexuality is any of their business (i know im a total hypocrite rn) but. A part of me wanted to … idk be honest? Its not even that… just like make them see all these gay people theyre hating on are closer than they think…. Lololll. It totally is a huge part of my life…. And my identity… but do they even need to know about that side of me? I guess its more than the literal being bi. But maybe the social implications too. Why i felt so compelled to blurt it out.

Any tips or similar situations you guys have experienced ?

As the title implies, I’m in my early 20s, and looking for advice to come out. I’m masc, so no one will really see it coming, and was wondering if anyone would mind sharing their own experiences. Would appreciate it a lot 🙏🏻

the people in my life finding about my sexuality has been heavily in my mind. i have no concerns with my immediate family (parent, siblings) but with extended family and friends i am just sick about it. i am not ashamed of who i am, and nothing can stop me from living my life. they will obviously eventually find out when i bring home a girl. but the fact that i have no real idea how they will take it is terrifying.

my extended family is conservative and christian, so theres not many ways they could react. there are some of them who aren’t, but i still do not know how they will feel about the first openly gay person in the family.

with my friends, a few of them are straight girls. they aren’t conservative, but im not sure they’re the most open minded people.

i just can’t stop imagining myself being shunned by these people and im sick.

I don't know if I should introduce my gf to my parents

I don't know if I should introduce my gf to my parents, I've posted it here and on r/actually lesbian

Hi so some context. My gf is not my first girlfriend and my parents met and were totally accepting of my ex gf. However a few things are different now than in my past relationship. While I was with my ex I came out as Non binary to my friends and her. While they were all fine with it my life didn't change majorly as I wasn't out in school or at home. In addition to this because both me and the few people who did know were not allowed to correctly gender me alot of the time that meant that both my friends and ex would accidentally frequently misgender me.

Things changed once I started University however. I was able to use my new name and pronouns in my everyday life and just shove myself back in the closet (genderwise) during the holidays when I was with my parents. I have been considering coming out to them. They are not bad people. I do not think they would throw me out or stop helping me pay for uni. However I do not think it would change much, I think they would constantly "forget" to use my name and pronouns and only switch once I correct them. This would make my home feel like a battle for me and (while I know it so far from the worst thing trans people go through as I am incredibly privileged to be able to be debating this right now) I prefer to tell myself that they just don't know. Also just so everyone knows I am not unfounded in my thoughts that they would forget to gender me correctly as I have and have had many trans friends and I have had to fight with them to get them to gender then correctly.

Okay so this is where my gf comes in. While I am willing to remain in the closet around my parents that is not something I would want for her or ask of them. She is a trans woman (she/they) and in addition to some other things that would be difficult to tell them. Such as her being three years older than me and us meeting on a dating app. I think it would be really difficult to get them to use the correct pronouns for her. Name wouldn't be an issue as obviously I wouldn't them her dead name. So we have only been dating for three months. I hadn't met her mum nor is she planning on that however I know she's talked about me with her family. I've met her friends and I'm planning on introducing her to mine(it's been a timing thing). Also my parents live in a different country to where me and my gf live and they never come stay with me at uni. So technically it would be possible for me to hide my relationship for a really long time. At the very least untill I finish University and no longer need to see them so frequently/relie on them financially. She has said they'd have no problem with meeting them and them acting like that towards her. But I wouldn't want to put my partner through that.

Let me know what you think. I know I'll have to tell the. If things get really serious but I'm also only nineteen and I feel like it's no big deal to not meet families at this time in our lives.

This is just a random account I made to vent but I think I might be pan. I’ve been a straight ally my whole life but for the last year or so I’ve felt like I didn’t only like girls. I’ve been researching stuff and I realized that the pansexual label might fit me best, but I’m too afraid to actually come out. I know my family would gladly accept me (although my brother would definitely flame me) but I don’t know about my friends. We are all immature teens and I can’t fully tell if they are homophobic or not. I’m also not fully comfortable with showing it at school. I live in the Midwest, (although my city is democratic) but half of my school would nail me to the wall if I came out, so I don’t know. What do I do? How do I come out? How do I manage feelings? Pls help me Reddit I’m so confused

I came out as trans to my mom today. We went to get breakfast at this lowkey bistro and when we sat down I told her I needed to talk to her about that personal thing today.

She started laughing and looked a little uneasy so it made me anxious. I explained to her that the whole summer I’ve been depressed because of my grandma dying and it making me feel some sort of way towards our family, but also because of my dysphoria and told her I think I’m trans. I meant to say “I’m trans” but I was already so nervous.

She asked me to repeat myself and I did, and then kept asking me what that meant. I think she was in denial. I asked why she looked so uncomfortable and she said she wasn’t, just that she was shocked confused and didn’t know what to say. She said it was [something deep to confess] and I should’ve sat her and dad down to talk about it instead of doing it in a public place. I explained I worried my dad would be mad because he’s known to make insensitive jokes and she nodded. What I didn’t tell her was that I told her specifically because I was scared it would just be a one way ticket to abuse otherwise.

We ate in silence and I was overthinking the whole time so I was crying. I barely got to explain anything. She didn’t seem mad at all just withdrawn and avoided bringing it up until she paid the bill at the end. She told me to relax and we would figure it out. I immediately burst into tears again and begged her not to out me to anyone, and she said okay. She told me we can tell dad when I’m ready. We walked home in silence and didn’t talk about it again.

I’m not mad at my mom, I just don’t know how to feel and I feel scared about the next steps. I want to tell my dad but I would do it with my mom and it seems like she needs time.. I just feel so ashamed about it. It didn’t feel like a coming out. I think im going to give my mom a few days before telling my dad. I’m just so scared and lost. Everything about this is fucking me up and I need advice on what to do.

So for a little background, I'm sixteen so it's pretty hard for me to get my hands on any feminine clothes, but! More recently, I've started getting closer to a friend of mine, and I've noticed how good she is at accepting and respecting her friend’s sexuality and pronouns, even when they're not around and she's just talking about them. But anyways, I've been thinking about telling her I'm a femboy and asking her for advice on stuff like clothes, right now I only have one pretty cheap skirt and a pair of thigh highs, but I've been wanting to try more clothes and maybe some makeup, and I think she might be able to help me. So my big question is, how do I bring this up? I feel like it might be awkward and I don't really want to make things weird between us because we've been friends since we were kids, but at the same time I basically have zero idea what I'm doing and really need the help. So if anyone has some advice it is much appreciated, thanks for reading 🙏

Hi everyone. I need to vent and maybe get some advice, because I feel like I'm drowning and I have no one to talk to about this.

I'm a Cuban woman in my early 20s, and I'm in my first relationship with another woman. We met at university, were best friends for two years, slept together (in the same bed), talked all the time. Then the university closed due to the situation in the country and our friendship became long-distance. A few months ago, after she started talking to another girl and I panicked about losing her, I told her how I felt. She felt the same, and we've been girlfriends ever since, even though we live in different provinces.

The problem is that I haven't been able to handle this relationship. She's very much in love, she told her family and friends, she's all in. I, on the other hand, haven't made the relationship public. My parents are very controlling, and when I mentioned that I liked a girl, they said I was confused, that I needed time, and they filled my schedule with activities (gym, classes, chores at home) to keep me busy and, according to my girlfriend, to build a life I can't escape from. And she's right.

Since then, I've lived with constant fear: fear of being judged, fear of confronting my parents, fear of the horrible transportation and economic situation in Cuba. I've lied to my girlfriend by omission: she thinks my parents already know we're girlfriends, but that's not true. I haven't had the courage to tell her. I also haven't made it public with my friends or on social media, even though I treat her as my girlfriend in private and I send her money when I can because her financial situation is very bad.

Now she's given me an ultimatum: I have until Friday to set a specific date to see each other, or the relationship ends and we go back to being just friends. But I don't want that. I miss her so much, I adore her, and I feel like she's the only person who truly knows me. However, I'm terrified. I don't know if I'll be able to travel because of the country's crisis, I don't know how much transportation costs, I don't know how my parents will react, and above all I wonder: what after we see each other? How do we continue? What if it doesn't work? The situation in the country is very bad and gets worse every day.

I feel like a coward and a selfish person. I know I'm hurting her, that my actions don't match my feelings, that if I don't act, I'll lose her forever. But a part of me wonders if I rushed into confessing, if maybe I was just afraid of losing my best friend and I'm not really in love. Has anyone been through something similar? Someone I can talk to?

Hi guys, i have an issue on this journey and I would really appreciate some advice
I’m 24, female and I’ve known pretty much all my life that I’m attracted to women. I think my sexual awakening was by boobs in a lingerie catalogue and everything that followed kept proving my point. But I always had crushes on boys, later (but way less frequented) 1 or 2 times on girls.
Even during my so far most meaningful relationship with my ex bf I was open about wanting to have experiences with women in my life (for myself, not like with him). I told my bsf when we were 18 that I thought I was bi (I’m now pretty sure I’m Pansexual or just queer) and she reacted totally sweet.
Since then I’m open about it on the outside, I never outed myself because I kind of feel like I don’t have to, idgaf about labels I love humans not genitalia (not trying to say smth wrong just sharing my perspective) and if people ask that’s what I say.

My problem is, I can’t act on it and I feel like I can’t REALLY accept on the inside, and idk why??
I live in a progressive city, at work or with my peers the assumption isn’t straightness. I feel like my environment is pretty accepting and my workplace is a really accepting and diverse too, there are a lot of queer people around me all the time. Which is why I don’t understand myself even more.
My dad doesn’t care, I wear a rainbow bracelet because I want to show solidarity which feels weird in itself for me because I don’t understand why I exclude myself from the community even though I’m really really sure im queer or at the very least definitely not straight. In the spring time a cute co worker of mine made a pass at me at a party and I kind of rejected her, i said it was because of my recent break up and the potential messiness of work place flirting plus she has a bf and that put me off, (she said he wouldn’t mind but I mind) etc., which wasn’t a lie but I also was really intimidated by the situation. Suddenly I caught myself asking myself who would initiate the very first intimate contact between two women because I kind of always expected the guy to initiate. That also made me realize that there ARE unsaid expectations put on men that I can imagine probably feel uncomfortable to many of them. Idk it just made me realize a bunch if stuff and how deep the programming runs inside of me. Even though I have always advocated for the queer community, even as a child/teen in a small ass town, it runs so deep it separates me from this part of my own personhood in a way.

A friend of mine said some horrible things a while back, along the lines of me not being queer because I never made any real experiences with a woman, basically questioning something that doesnt remotely feel like a question to me but still managed to upset me deeply and made me feel insecure.
I feel like it has something to do with shame but I can’t put my finger on it. Im afraid that if I ever try something with a woman I will never go back to men, for a lot of reasons. But I also have instances all the time that remind me why im not just gay, I do find men attractive too. And as I said, I believe I could find any person attraktiv and fall in love with them if the connection is there.
Idk, this is just has been weighing heavy in me for a while now and I feel like I can’t really take to anyone about it… does anyone have any advice or input for me? And please be gentle, tbh one of the reasons I’m kind of afraid is because of the whole “baby gay” thing ? I just don’t want to live a life of denying myself true authenticity and freedom. A few weeks back the pride parade went past my workplace and I couldn’t join because I was working but when it passed and I looked at all these people it touched me deeply, especially the drag queens because they just live as themselves so loud and proud and idk it made me tear up, still does

Hello everyone this is my first Reddit post ever. The title practically speaks for itself. I won’t put my age because I feel old when typing it haha. I’ve known I’ve liked women since my early teen years, I tried for a while to push down the feeling, explore it, enjoy it, feel shame and then repeat the cycle consistently for the next ten years of my life.

As I reflect I can’t help but feel guilt. Not over my sexuality but over the amount of women I’ve hurt and the time I’ve wasted in my life by hiding. I know it’s cliche but when you are in the closet you do hurt others unintentionally. I think about the girls I could have had something with, maybe they were supposed to be the one but now that chance is gone. One of them has a fiancee now. Which really just haunts me. I feel like the other person in “good luck babe!” By Chappel roan. Those lyrics haunt the hell out of me.

I know I probably sound dramatic as hell but my mind won’t be quiet and I just needed a space to let it out I guess? With some anonymity of course.

I honestly don’t know what I need if it’s support or something else. Honestly I would just appreciate an open discussion about other people’s experiences, questions they have for me, or other things. My belief is the only way I can become braver and more myself is by beginning to talk openly about my struggles. This is my first step I guess. I know it’s not that big, I’m posting anonymously to strangers, but I couldn’t imagine doing this even four months ago. So some progress?

I guess my question is, how do you make peace with the same and time wasted? Is there any way to do that? Am I a genuinely bad person? Am I a coward?

basically the title also i would also like some stories if anyone came out to their friends too

I’m pan and (probably) a femboy, I haven’t come out to my parents yet and honestly I need some help. My family is Christian and idk what to do

I came out to my friend. We were pretty close. She's the first person I came out to and I told her that. We no longer live in the same city, but we still keep in touch from time to time. She was very accepting and said she'd call me because she wanted to talk about it after i texted her that I'm gay. She never did. Weeks passed. I texted her asking her if she's okay and how things were going. she said "I'm just super busy and always surrounded by people but we'll definitely talk". I responded saying no problem and to let me know when she has the time. This hurts bad, I don't know why it hurts, and i don't know what to make of it.

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Hi everyone

I’ve never told a single person but , I’m finally thinking of sharing this with one of my friend (most probably girls cuz i know my male frnds , nothing much to say further) , but I don’t know which one or how to even start. I’m nervous but I also really want someone to know the real me.

If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice… please share. I'm tired of keeping everything to myself or online now.

Any advice on how to pick the right friend or what to say would mean so much to me.

It's good if they accept or understand my situation but if they don't , IDK I don't have any plans for that.