Anyone else struggle with severe memory issues?? My memory was pretty bad before DPDR. Now it's atrocious - short, medium and long term. Does your memory return after you recover???

it's so weird, anyone else?

Had not used thc in 15 years and had never taken an edible. My mother got diagnosed with alzheimers i was very stressed and thought it would relax me. Been worsening all summer. It was getting better before summer hit and initially symptoms were more off balance, slight dizziness feeling like I was on a boat feeling. i don't feel as off balance or on boat as before but feel more and more disconnected. Also have higher heart rate when standing. i had pots with long haul that went into remission but i have no fatigue with it now like before. Was a covid long hauler 2 years then got better for around 2 years before this. I am trying everything to improve and so far nothing is working. ​I feel increasingly disconnected and out of body. My vision is weirder. Things seem dimmer and sensitive to light. Is this dpdr? Seeing neurologist today. Starting cpap for sleep apnea thurs. Only abnormal blood test was ferritin 27 and inflammation esr at 30 ish. I cant tell if this mental or physical anymore. Also taking klonopin daily bc of the anxiety. I want to try Lamictal or Lexapro and get off cymbalta bc I have heard they can help with the depersonalization disconnected feeling or possibly low dose naltrexone. I also have a history of anxiety and ocd. Also health anxiety.

sometimes, i have a hard time accepting that im a person, and it horrifies me. that im living, breathing, comprehending stuff, and even thinking in this exact moment. also that i have been alive this whole time. i guess it a hyper aware sort of thing but it really sends me into panic. especially when i think about all my past memories and that i was present for all of those. it just seems so unreal.

I’ve been struggling with dissociation for years now, but this past week it’s just been GOD AWFUL. I’ve felt like I’ve been extremely high on weed 24/7 and haven’t been able to live in the moment at all. Things that happened even seconds ago don’t feel real and I’m losing my grasp on reality. I’ve been having really bad panic attacks and spiraling and grounding hasn’t helped much.

Since I’ve been in my head so much I’ve been overanalyzing why I’m thinking this way, and my main conclusion is that I’ve just been extremely stressed from work because of my social anxiety and being around people all day and that I’ve been off my anxiety/depression meds since like March.

But anyways, I just want to hear people who have “gotten over” this and live normally again and how you did it. Because my memory is horrid, my personality is gone, and I just feel like I’m in a dream and at this point I’m more annoyed than panicked because I just want to go back to normal. Especially because I saw a concert only a week ago that I was so excited to see and wanted it to be life changing, only for me to not even feel like I was there at all and I barely even remember the trip there or being in the stadium

I can’t stop thinking about my existence and being hyper aware of it. It scares me and the fact that I can’t do anything about it makes me feel like there’s no escape, thus giving me suicidal ideation. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s happening everyday. I take anxiety medicine but it just comes back. Normally when I get SI I think about all the things/ people I love that make me want to stay but I feel so disconnected from those things right now that it doesn’t help. Please recommend things that help, how you got through it, etc etc.