I give up

I'm just looking for guidance I'm so lost

If I have muscular dystrophy that's likely to kill me before 40 would it be fine to call myself terminally ill even though I'm still 20 so have quite a bit of time left? Sorry if this isn't the place to ask, I've never had good access to healthcare so I can't ask this to a doctor.

nalusong paa ko sa baha, may sugat isa kong paa. siguro ilang hours bago nahugasan & i have no plan on telling my family haha c u in a bit

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I become more and more afraid of dying when I see myself getting on the brink of death in my dreams. I have seen myself losing consciousness not suddenly but more like as if there was a stereo fitted in my head, and blood dripping out of my nose, eyes and mouth. It is just merely a dream but it is something I would never ever want to experience in real life.

My fiance just found out today he lost a friend he used to be very close to to suicide. A few years ago, they had a huge falling out and have not spoken since. The friend died several months ago, and he just found out through another friend that he has not spoken to in a long time.

He deals with his own suicidal ideations and I feel that he partially blames himself. He's not big on talking about feelings, but he has a history of addiction and I'm worried he will turn back to that.

How can I help him actually deal with this? He won't talk to me or his friends, he gets offended when I've suggested therapy in the past. I have no experience dealing with this kind of loss - not because I haven't lost anybody, but because I have always kept people at arms length.

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What’s the point of suffering when death is inevitable anyway ?

Emotions aren't stable enough of a basis to make these decisions. Like how to sum up whether you want to go through cancer surgery and treatment when the expected rest of your life is already one incremental loss after another with no realistic expectation of it to be otherwise?

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My Aunt is most likely moving to hospice within a few days. I have a small family and she never had kids, so we were all close. She is going to same hospice facility where my dad passed away and I really have no idea how I can even walk in the doors there.

I wish death was not so final.

I’m think I’m gonna end this Wednesday.
I have a good live, I have a lot of friends out and in the University, I’m pretty and I have a nice body, I have a lovings parents and the money isn’t a problem. In my childhood I get admitted to the hospital every month. I have an immune disorder, and a really weird body, I don’t feel hungry or needs, sometimes I spends days without eating or drinking water, I don’t feel the need to. Because my body it’s weak, when a i was a child the death isn’t a bad thing for me, I think then that feeling born.

I have a nice live, but I don’t have a an “anchor” for live it.
My parents thinks I can’t love, I never have that feeling, nothing or someone, just I can’t feel it, but I care.

I went to the psychiatrist for a time, I was in treatment, but I was discharged a few years ago; I’ve never been hospitalized, though I made several attempts most of them in secret.

Just I need someone to read this. My body is failing; I'm paying the price for not taking care of myself.

What am I beyond this? I know I am something more than just this; I must be someone more than just something.

My step mom who is basically my real mom has been slowly dying over the past couple years. She beat cancer 5 times and died briefly during a botched brain surgery. She is still herself but living everyday hurts her. She wants to use the death with dignity act. I have a few months before she said she would do it. I don't want her to hurt anymore, but I also don't want her to die. What do I do? What can I do? I feel so helpless.

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