I dont know if this is the right subreddit for this. Im a girl and ive never been in a relationship or even had my first kiss. I admittedly fantasize about romance constantly, but im not even in my own fantasies im sort of sitting in a mental cuck chair.

I cant really pinpoint why, but I feel embarrassed at the thought of being in a relationship or desiring a relationship or even romance. like if i were to ever have romantic interactions or a talking stage or something of the sort, i would be judged because it wouldnt be serious, and anything i do would be a joke, or i would be embarrassing myself

this summer i went on vacation with a close friend im very comfortable with (practically a sister, i wouldnt even feel embarrassed if i peed my pants in front of her). a few times in clubs when i was drunk, i would have conversations with guys with some romantic undertones or light flirting and then the next day i would feel so embarrassed by the way i acted despite not having done anything beyond talking. like any sort of desire i have is embarrassing desperation. i feel embarrassed the way you might feel embarrassed for being openly and extremely into someone who is barely into you, despite there not actually being that sort of imbalance.

i dont judge anyone else for anything like this, even for doing things that other people might find way more embarrassing. its only myself

why do i feel like this and can anyone relate??

I work part-time at a clothing store where all the women I work with are pretty as fuck, so it gets kinda awkward when they talk about having a normal, fulfilled life while I can’t relate to any of their conversations. I can’t stand to hear about them anyway because it completely turns my whole mood around.

Nonetheless, the types of experiences they come across are just so fascinating to me in a sense that… “Damn, people actually go through this shit? It’s not just in the movies? It’s fucking real?”

To put things into perspective, the store I work at is right next to a café known for being expensive and having yellow cups (iykyk). There aren’t a lot of dudes who work there, but there are a few, and one has taken a special liking to (let’s call her) M.

M has the reputation of a Ms. Smiles-A-Lot. She likes everyone and everyone likes her. At her college, she’s part of a sorority and she has a loving boyfriend. She doesn’t fucking like me at all (that’s a story for another time; let’s just say she gives me dirty looks), but she’s otherwise a very happy person who’s socially invincible and everyone just wants to eat her up.

Anyway, some guy at the café has been giving her special attention recently (cause ig the loving boyfriend isn’t enough), and I get so fucking sick of how innocent she plays. Every single time she picks up a drink order, he’s slipping her free pastries, and she’s still all, “omg, no, he’s just a super nice guy!” Meanwhile, he comes to the store one evening while I’m closing with a manager and he brings us a BAG full of pastries. The next morning, everyone was talking about, “lol he probably thought M was working that evening so he stopped by!” I’m guessing he was super disappointed to see my ugly ass there instead because he literally did a lap around the store before giving up and just handing them to me.

Then there’s (let’s call her) S. Also has a loving boyfriend and is just a total hottie. I’m Asian like her, but she’s full on ABG. Super nice girl who’s nice to me (thank fuck), but she stuns everywhere she goes.

Nothing big with her like with M, but today, she goes to the café and plans on ordering a drink that they didn’t have stock of. She gets something else as a result and is fine with it. Lo and behold, this guy comes in the store later with her usual order and hands it over to her, apologizing that they didn’t have it the first time.

Yk, I wanted a pumpkin-type drink the other day and they ran out of pumpkin.

Nobody got me the drink I initially wanted when they got a restock of pumpkin.

I’m just fucking flabbergasted atp, and I don’t care if anyone calls me entitled. I know I’m entitled (diagnosed NPD, thanks, I’m working on it maybe), but yk what? This shit still isn’t fair! Like people are actually getting things FOR FREE because they’re drop dead gorgeous. This is just another feather in my cap for when people tell me “pretty privilege isn’t real.”

BECAUSE IT IS!!!

Share your goals for this month and hold yourself and each other accountable! No goal is too small. At the end of the month, you'll be able to check in and share your progress in another thread.

Remember that good and achievable goals should be S.M.A.R.T: Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-based.

i hate how i have to act like i'm a normal, functioning person when i have no friends, no family support, never experienced love or affection. my family is emotionally abusive. they have never accepted me and my mum was physically abusive when i was a child. i have never felt accepted, loved or appreciated. i can't remember the last time i received a hug. like i can't even count with more than one hand how many times that has happened. i'm studying a healthcare degree and it's so draining because i am surrounded by motivated, self driven people. like they feel so normal. they have a job. they have a social life. they're dating. they have friends. i'm quite lucky to even have people i can talk to now in my final semester, not friends outside of class, but i used to sit alone in every class like a loser.

it's like, how am i passionate about being in healthcare when i feel like the patients we're discussing in our case studies? how can i act like i'm happy about the idea of working full time starting from next year (i'm a mature age student) when i want to bed rot everyday ? i legit have no energy to do anything else besides from go to class and then go back home to lie in bed. i do have hobbies, thankfully, so i play games, read and watch things, which give me more enjoyment than actual life... i seriously want a break from life. i wish i could go to sleep and dream of being in some other universe for a long period of time. it feels so painful to keep on acting like i'm a normal, healthy person, blending in with everyone, when i am so ugly, feel so ugly, mentally and physically ill, and never felt love or received positive encouragement in my life.

Will I finally find peace when I actually give up? I ve never dated and nobody had ever asked me out for a date, I ve never ever had someone interested in me, and while I finally came to terms with my appearance I still wish that could experience love and intimacy like people does. But sometimes like now I just think about giving up truly and live my life, maybe not all of us are meant to be in a relationship, maybe not all if us are meant to be someone’s world.
Even in friendship, I have lot of friends whom I consider besties, I m not sure if it’s the same thing as I ve never been the first choice of anyone, i always learn that they have things going on without me, ik I m too old to be petty over these things but in moments like those I just feel pathetic that I ve never been the favorite person of anyone.
My apparence is average at best, but I m just wondering will I even find love? Will i even find someone who will genuinely see me beautiful, someone who will be interested in me and not just in a lustful way.
Is giving up really the solution? A part of me wants to give up and accept my reality for my mental peace but the other part keeps telling that it’s still too early and i m only 27 I can’t give up yet and maybe if I put more effort something will work out.
I don’t even know if I m looking for advice but mostly I m just ranting, though I would appreciate any opinion and please don’t dm me out of petty and start asking about the way I look and stuff i ve had enough of that.

Sometimes it's hard to live my life alone. To own it alone. To travel alone. To struggle to connect with other people. To hike alone. To drink and smoke alone. To scroll or talk to chatbots for hours and hours, alone.

But sometimes I look at myself from the outside and realize that, taken as a whole, all of it is actually really fucking cool. There's this person who goes places alone, who walks alone, who shows up in places where she doesn't know anyone. Who gets tattooed and pierced however she wants. Who gets interested in weird, unlikely things, keeps looking for places, people, landscapes. Who gets lost sometimes and still figures things out. Who keeps leaving even though she knows perfectly well that she'll often be alone once she gets there.

When you're the one living that life, you forget that some of the things that have become almost ordinary to you would seem extraordinary, or terrifying, to a lot of people. I don't really see those things anymore because so often there's no one there to see them with me. My loneliness hides the most badass parts of me.

And then sometimes I do see them. I look at myself the way I would look at someone else, and I realize that I'm incredibly cool. That I've become the kind of person the little girl inside me would have found fascinating. Maybe even the kind of person she would have wanted to look up to.

Not exactly a hero. More like some kind of loser who somehow manages to build her own paradise on top of, and right in the middle of, all the shit that's left for the losers. Someone who never quite managed to become what she was supposed to become, so she ended up trying to build something beautiful out of whatever was left.

I was in the kitchen cooking with my mom and my my mom’s SIL( my aunt). My mom was talking about how pretty and doll like my sister was a baby. My aunt said even now how equally beautiful she is and so many of her relatives have mentioned how beautiful my sister is in front of me. She said even my other cousin looks good. Then they started talking about something else and I left. My Sunday morning is going really well

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

i’ve seen SO many women complain about how they can never have completely platonic friendships with men because their male friends always end up crushing on them or wanting to have sex with them. however this has literally never happened to me in my life. if anything, im the one that ends up developing a crush on my male friends, and of course this crush is never reciprocated.

it feels weird seeing women talk about this as if it happens to every single woman. i cant help but wonder why something seemingly very common has never happened to me

I’ve been feeling extremely lonely and depressed for the past few days. There’s nothing that seems to make me happy, even though I’m someone who can usually find happiness in the little things. Life has been terrible for me my whole life. I still managed to stay lively through it all, but living like that for so many years has slowly drained the life out of me, and snatched my soul away. I don't see any hope for the future anymore.

It's not that I don't have friends at all but I have very few. I can't even count how many times I was excited to go to a place, be it a faire or a hike or a visit to a museum (mind you all things my friends also enjoy) and everybody I ask to come with me doesn't have time. No matter if I ask last minute or months before. 90% of the time I get a "no I can't". And I try to be understanding but it just sucks so bad, like I'm never a priority.I'm so tired of having to go everywhere alone.

Do you know how isolating it is to go to a faire surrounded by families and groups of friends all laughing together and happy and you're just on your own? I was at one just recently and sat in a food tent on my own, drawing. The tent was utterly full but nobody would sit down even at the tables close to me. As if my loneliness was somehow a disease they could catch. Really soured my experience, apart from the usual lost feeling of walking around alone.

I'd love to go to the zoo next weekend because they have an event where they stay open until midnight. I've known for a month and asked everybody, but wouldn't you know, nobody has time. What's even worse is that my boss and his gf will be there and the zoo is big but not THAT big so there's a very good chance I'll see them. And they'd just see me there, alone. Like the lonely loser that I am.

Really starting to wonder why I even still ask people to join me, I know the answer already.

I’m 21, I’ve never been kissed, never been on a real date, and never actively pursued by a guy. I met this girl last year and we go out together almost every weekend. In general we have a great time and I have feel less like a lonely loser after we hangout. We went out last weekend and last night. Both of times everywhere we went she was approached by men and I was actively ignored by said men. Last weekend I felt so shitty after going out with her that I bought a self love workbook and a “how to talk to people” book 🥴

Last night was so much worse. I bought a shirt that I thought made the little titties I have look good. I don’t normally wear tight revealing clothes like that but I was desperate to not have a repeat of last weekend take place. Not only was I once again ignored, this time the dudes didn’t even bother to pretend to care about me, more than once guys commented to my friend and I that we don’t look like we’d be friends. It’s become clear over my time in college that I’m not attractive enough for men to want to interact with me, I get that, but to hear my friend basically be told that she’s too hot to have an ugly friend like me cuts deep.

She likes going out both Fridays and Saturdays and I am her only friend that likes to go out like that too, but I don’t think I my self esteem can handle much more of this. It feels wrong to not go out with her anymore especially since I still want to go out, just not with her. She’s done nothing wrong and I feel like a worm for being so vain that I don’t want to go with her because she gets all this attention. I mean guys hate interacting with me with or without her, but with her it hurts so much more because she gets hit on so much. My brother passed away a few months ago so I know I’m in an extra sensitive and vulnerable place right now and I don’t have a lot of friends so maybe I’m letting this get to my head too much. Idk thanks for reading though, I feel seen by many of your posts, which as a person who often feels invisible, means the world 💗

Like when I did when I was a young teen, 12-14 etc. I would devour all those tropey romances with so much gusto. At the current moment, it just triggers me too much, bc I just have literally no conceptualization of the characters' lives and experiences; its so far removed from mine and my lived experiences it feels completely alien...the same as it was when I was 12-14. Difference is...these characters always used to be older than I was and now—they're the same age or *younger* than me.

I'll be reading about a 21 year old woman going 'oh all the men I've dated and messed around with were all such disappointments, you know how it goes' and it's like...no, I don't 😀 Me, a 23 year old. But back then I didn't gaf bc I was a kid and all of this was just 'grown up adult stuff' that would come later when I was also, 'grown up'. Well, I am an adult now, and my practical understanding of sex and romance and dating is the same as my child's self from back then. That feels very wrong and unnatural for me, personally.

Finding a romance book or hell, even any sort of book with a female character whom I can relate to in that regard is practically nonexistent bc we are such a small portion of the population. It's pushed me into reading some pretty strange but interesting, atypical books, expanding my literary circle so at least there's that. But I really hate this peeve of mine, the way it doesn't allow me to relax and just read a damned story without these hang ups. Like I'll straight up skip some stories oriented about the fact that the character was married or is getting together back with her ex, and like, maybe a 2nd chances story does sound interesting, but not in my current headspace. Does anyone else struggle with something like it?

I just want to know what it feels like to have a guy like you so much that he wants to spend time with you and hold your hand and hold you, and to feel safe with him and not need to worry about how undeserving I am or how ugly I am.

No one has ever expressed a romantic interest in me. Whether in high school or college or on behalf of friends. Not even at work either. I always hear women (even here) talking about a friend who ended up developing feelings for her, or a co-worker who has a crush on her.

And it really makes me wonder why in 23 years of life it has never happened to me.

I am approached when I go out (and yet I really rarely go out), but men spontaneously come to hit on me and strangers compliment me on my appearance, but what I find strange is precisely that it ALWAYS comes from an unknown man I meet on the street / at the supermarket. It never happens to me in my social circle or at work. I wonder why there are only people who see me for the first time in their lives who are able to feel an attraction for me and not people I rub shoulders with every day (I am not at all more neglected when I go to work),Am I not pretty enough for someone to develop an interest for me as I go? I am a very shy girl, so it is true that I am not very pleasant but I do everything I can to try to integrate and be nice to colleagues even if I always feel this gap between them and me because I have a real gap in my social skills.

I don’t feel fully validated by simply flirting because these men don’t know anything about me when they come to approach me. While a friend or colleague who would develop an interest in me would make me feel really seen and appreciated In my entirety. It hasn’t happened to me in my entire life. Even in high school, when a guy told my friend to Conveying the message that he was interested in me was a guy I had NEVER spoken to, we just crossed paths in the corridors, and of course no guy in my class felt interested in me, so it would really seem that the only men who develop an interest in me are precisely men who have never been around me. It gives me the impression that there must be something really bad about me that appears when you rub shoulders with me 💀

I already had no luck finding a partner when I was perfectly healthy and able-bodied. But then I became disabled with suspected arthritis which has basically killed any possible chance at a romantic life since I'm literally stuck at home. I thought that being FA was something most chronically ill/disabled people deal with, yet many have somehow found life partners. I feel like I've gotten the short end of every stick losing my physical capabilities along with any chance of real connection with anyone

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

I started a new job in April. Before this job, there had always been a mix of different types of people/lifestyles at my previous workplaces. My new job is compromised almost solely of attractive women in their 20-40s. They are all married or in long term relationships. Four weddings in the last three months. They have children who they take camping and attend their recitals. If you imagine the typical cookie cutter family life that you see on TV, this is how they are all living. And then there's me. Never had a partner, no desire for children, and can barely drag myself out of bed. The only upside is that I work remotely so I don't have to see/interact with them every day. But when I do, it's so obvious how they are all living the "normal" life that I wish I had.

I want to be close with someone. Share all my thoughts and have deep talks. I want to hug and cuddle. I want to hold hands with somebody. I want to kiss somebody. I want to have sex. Real passionate sex. I want to cuddle naked with somebody. I just want to experience the intimacy that everyone else gets to. Life is so unfair.

Hey all, I’m super frustrated and need to vent. I (22f) had been talking to a guy(24M) for 6 MONTHS and he ghosted me. I haven’t heard from him in 10 days now so he’s either dead or pretending to be. I’m not really sure what happened. We have been texting non stop since late March. We hadn’t met in person as we live a decent distance apart(nothing major, about an hour away) and between our two jobs and him being a little shy, we hadn’t seen each other yet. 2 weekends ago, I finally just asked him to hang out because I was tired of waiting for him to ask me. He ended up being gone on the weekend but we both decided we’d plan to go get drinks when he came back. He went on his trip, came home and he texted me the day after he got home and that was the last I’ve heard from him. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if this happened at the 2 month mark, but 6 whole months of talking every day, getting to know each others routines, quirks and even developing a few inside jokes just to fall off the face of the earth?? I’m so frustrated. I feel like my time has been wasted in the worst way. I developed so many feelings for him over those 6 months and now I’m just supposed to move on and start from scratch with someone else?? I want to know his explanation but at the same time I also just want to block his number and forget about him? Idk, I just really wasn’t expecting him to completely disappear on me like that. Is this a thing that men do often in my age range?? I can’t fathom doing that to someone after building such a connection.

The end of the month is here! How did it go? Did you reach your goals? You can answer by dropping a comment.

In a few days, the new monthly goal thread will be up, so make sure to drop by!

I know this subreddit is called foreveralone but I feel forever bullied. To still be insulted for my looks by men at 36 in public is shocking to me. I'm not even attracted to men, I don't engage with them and have never approached them.

of course when I was locked in with them in school it was daily. But God damn, to have grown men still insulting my appearance in public is unbelievable. I'm not overweight, I have shoulder length blonde hair and my only target is "my face". I'm not dressed oddly or a danger hair (you know what I mean). What centers me out is my fucking facial features. I'm getting older and I'm so tired of this.

I tell them to fuck off but they just laugh and laugh just like thet did 20 fucking years ago. Same behavior. Most of them are young men. This almost always occurs in a public place and it happened yesterday on an outdoor patio. Some college boys were screaming insults out at me as I sat and ate a burger and fries.

The fact that bullying like this can follow a woman like me their entire lives is honestly shocking. I have never heard of an ugly man my age experiencing this.

I’m currently studying to be a nurse (because that’s all I can mentally and literally afford to do), and I wonder if that’s gonna get me enough.

I know that I can go to other countries and get plastic surgery there, but you can’t forget about the cost of the trip itself; I don’t even know how many days I’m gonna have to stay in that country for the whole procedure to take place.

I don’t know, I just keep seeing crazy transformations on my feeds. Uglies/averages end up looking like supermodels after a year of healing, and while people in the comment section are always quick to say, “her kids will reveal the truth,” all you have to do is either be childless or blame it on the concept of hidden/skipping genes.

Ugly people end up being scared of mirrors or obsessive mirror-checkers, and as the latter, I am so tired of ending up annoyed at every reflective surface I see.

It’s just draining trying to look even halfway decent everyday, especially when people can see past all of the makeup and fashion and into my ugly soul.