I’m someone who really wants to be a homemaker. It’s where my strengths lie, and I’m always trying to learn new home skills. I grew up in foster care, so I never had anyone to teach me even basic things like food safety or how to use a washing machine, much less anything more complex like canning or cooking healthy meals or sewing. In my high school home economics was not emphasized much. I took it, and got strong marks, but you could only take it for two semesters.

I wish I could enrol in a school and learn to sew garments and curtains, to knit socks, to make jam, to preserve food, to make salad dressing from scratch, to meal plan on a budget, all the tricks for cleaning, etc. I’ve been able to learn a lot of that stuff from videos online and from books, but I wish I could learn it together with other young women (and men!) who share my aspirations.

Also, this sounds really dumb, but—I know many people who’ve gone to college or university to get jobs in their fields. They have diplomas with their names on them that show that they’ve studied and gained all these skills. I tried university without a lot of success, because it’s just not where my strengths lie. I wish there was a program like my high school home economics class, with projects like knitting a sweater or preparing a nutritionally complete meal instead of writing a paper or a final exam. I tried culinary college, but cooking on an industrial scale is so different and was a struggle for me. I really wish I could have a diploma with my name on it.

Hello! My partner works on cars and I have grown to HATE the smell on her clothes. It’s… on everything… her hair, her nails, and at this point I feel the laundry machine.

I don’t want to make her feel bad about it, it pays the bills she loves what she does and I invest in good hygiene products and am patient, but I feel it’s on ALL the clothes. Most days I have her throw whatever she wore into the machine alone and I start a load right then and there, but i still feel like any clothes after smell and the clothing items still smell of oil.

I know oil stains are there and stuck, but I genuinely am begging for any tips to get oil smells out of clothes or my washing machine or maybe i’m just delusional.

Bonus: If anyone knows something for smoke as well out of clothes. The two seem to be hand in hand.

A bit of backstory, growing up I feel like a lot of feminine hobbies/skills were looked down upon because of misogyny both in culture and just the attitude in our family. Even though, I had a very kind and feminine mother growing up, who I looked up to, and still do very much. Also, I feel like it’s frustrating because all feminine hobbies in society are looked down on still. Like if you wanna go to a HomeGoods or TJ Maxx that’s seen as something stupid and feminine, versus a hobby like hunting or golf as seen as productive and respectable.

Also, I’m sure a lot of you might be questioning. “Why do I need to make others happy to enjoy a hobby?” I do agree with you, but I’m very extroverted so it’s difficult to enjoy things that aren’t like a performance basically. If that makes any sense.

I have been constantly discovering that I have so, so much to learn--and that that "learning" is pretty hard when you have to do it alone with a baby/toddler. The 'natural' way of life is to learn this as a baby while being worn/carried, practicing things as a messy toddler, then gradually gaining competence, not having to learn common sense from scratch or suffer before you don't even know you don't know something that could make your life so much better, easier, or cheaper!

Through these things, I've managed to (barely) hold on through some stressful, traumatic experiences, stayed afloat financially, stay mentally healthy, heal from chronic illness, help my child heal from or just live symptom-free from IBS, stayed warm (warm fiber clothing doesn't even exist part of the year for babies?), kept clothing I'd have tossed, had clothing that fit me, avoided daycare (well, bigger financial/lifestyle sacrifices to make that work, of course, but this was part of it), and on and on and on.

My goals are saving money and health and convenience, primarily. I've found that there is ACTUALLY a quadruple win-win-win-win society will tell you is impossible, but it isn't. The environment/planet can win (less waste), your wallet or ability to stay at home with your baby wins (lots of money saved), things can actually be more convenient surprisingly (ie buy grains once a year, vs needing to buy/carry bread weekly), and quality wins for your family (food tastes better and has a better texture and leaves you feeling physically/emotionally better; clothing can be higher quality and of an actually functional fiber for your climate; plastic/toxins/endocrine disruptors/excessive sugar can be largely reduced). The big catch is "knowledge". This is generational knowledge that many of us, maybe not on this sub, though, did not get passed down. And learning it on your own with a baby or tot can be a huge mental load/investment, even when it's 'easy'.

So, here are some things I've learned in the last year, or at least have begun to learn:

• making my own kefir (kefir cheese, etc)
• making my own sourdough (bread, cinnamon rolls, everything)
• making my own yogurt (this is actually so easy, and it saves us over $70/mo alone?!)
• bulk cooking, meal prepping, having a whole involved freezer system to ease it all
• mending (working on this). Means we aren't replacing or living without quality items.
• embroidering. Not as survival style, but my toddler will ONLY wear the two shirts I embroidered. They were first and only 2 things I've ever embroidered, but they're the things he loved, and it meant I bought a cheaper large pack of plain higher fabric quality shirts
• sewing (working on this, this is a huge skill obviously). Has meant I can only buy one pair, then clone it, and can buy quality / fiber that keeps us actually warm / lets us comfortably spend the whole day outside. Means I can repurpose high quality fabric items that no longer fit me for my baby/toddler. Means I can make things I need, generally (fabric cover bowls, paper towel replacements, saving towels, making hand towels, cloth napkins, etc etc).
• using cloths, rather than disposables (cloth diapers first, cloth napkins, paper towel replacements
• making our own granola
• making our own nut butters/mixes (super easy, cheaper, and it doesn't separate by the time we eat it, either. Also, why is everything in the store loaded up with sugar?! Tastes better without it, too)
• making our own vanilla extract (we have a jar started, anyway, though it won't be ready for a while)
• importance of opening windows / airing out the house. We live somewhere eternally kind of cold, and have no screens (renting!), so this hadn't come naturally to us / hadn't seemed worth it with a heater always running.
• steam mops exist! Way, way more effective than a Swiffer
• cleaning -- have started simplifying products. Also love a simple water-vinegar mix as a toddler can just... drink it lol.
• how to launder things properly (mostly, still somewhat learning)
• maintenance cycles for cleaning dishwasher, washer, etc. Air filters. Dehumidifiers.

Here are some things I'm looking into learning/starting, or starting after having investment costs ready:

• bidet usage with cloth wipes (no more toilet paper?!)
• sewing (just a ton to learn here)
• pattern adjustment/making (very intimidating, on the backburner)
• growing our own leafy greens (indoors only, no outdoor space. Did briefly grow mustard greens and some others successfully)
• making our own compost (for said vegetables. Have looked into vermicomposting with worms)
• Making our own soaps/hygiene/care products, primarily with Castile soap (ingredients have been ordered, will be replacing what we have with this when ready)
• making my own butter?! I very briefly looked into this -- seems like between kefir and a food processor, it could be doable. We also eat a lot of this, and would prefer to have more available (it's expensive).
• making other extracts
• utilizing citrus zest (as convenient!) rather than sugar
• milling our own grains and utilizing different grains (we already bulk bake, and I'd love to explore other grains, and buy 'healthier' ones)
• using cast iron / pans that aren't nonstick (just ordered one--have been using nonstick only my whole life)
• using loose leaf teas
• using essential oils or other methods (boiling limes after juiced? cinnamon sticks?) for scenting care products and/or house in lieu of things with "fragrance" ingredients (toxins)
• filtering (boiling?) at least some of our water, or replacing plastic bottles with glass at least some of the time, etc
• knitting (what a superpower that sounds like, and intimidating)(have been encouraged to see it making a comeback, and there are some local events near me)
• plants for darker rooms/areas with little to no sunlight. I have tried some of the 'easy' ones typically recommended for my area, and they always acquired pests or died. The 'hard' plants always thrived, for whatever reason. We do have a couple indoor plants, though, just would love to have more.

Generally speaking, I'm overwhelmed and maxed out in life and resource strapped. My home isn't perfect! But some things are free, like airing out the home, and make a big difference. And most of these things save money and/or increase quality of life without any financial cost.

Not including all the parenting environment tips, as this post would be way too big, and those also thankfully feel far more predictable and easy to learn.

What am I missing? Doesn't have to be a "big" thing, either. Any small little thing. Some tiny tip on how to get more use out of something, how to reduce waste, how to save. I'm going to handle things better mentally even just knowing I don't know something, rather than being surprised or frustrated when I realize later on I could've avoided financial/physical/emotional distress. And if nothing else, hopefully this list helps others!

I bought an old house. I’ve redone the hardwood floors and every room has been repainted. I feel like it always smells musty. Particularly in closets and when I have either heat or AC on. Only time it doesn’t is when the weather is nice and I can open all of the windows.

I feel like candles can’t run 24/7 and neither should wax melts. Also, I don’t really want to just cover up the musty smell, I want to get rid of it. Any suggestions would be nice.

Edit: I re did the simmer pot with just cinnamon, star anise and orange and it was gorgeous! It must’ve been the apples and vanilla 😓

Ive seen lots of simmer pots recently online so I decided to try one. I used oranges, apples, vanilla and nutmeg as that’s all I currently have in my house (I will use cinnamon and maybe some cloves next time). Unfortunately it made the whole house stink of pee?? No clue why but it wasn’t as pleasant as the internet made it out to be. Did it smell wrong because I didn’t use cinnamon ect? Please I need some advice I really want my home to smell nice but can’t light candles due to the chemicals, I really want to give simmer pots another go but I don’t want to make the house stink again

I used to be bad at dealing with chores, always telling myself I’d do it later until it got annoying enough that I had no choice.

Lately I’ve been trying to take the decision-making out of some of it, e.g. loading the dishwasher as I go, switched to a self-cleaning litter box, getting a few household essentials delivered regularly, and got a robot vacuum to handle the floors on a schedule.

It helps. No more “I’ll vacuum tomorrow” because the robot is already scheduled to do it. I don’t have to remember to order detergent before we run out. Basically, I’m removing the chance to put these things off.

I still procrastinate on plenty of things tho lol, the repetitive chores don’t pile up nearly as much anymore.

Hi! I'm just looking for some advise as a newly "retired" 27 y/o wife. I hope this is okay to post here, it is vaguely related to homemaking I suppose.

My husband 30 and I made the decision to have me quit my job and stay home before we have kids for a few reasons. Mainly, his job is very phyiscally and emotionally demanding, and so was mine. Housework was falling on a back-burner and we were both stressed to the max. The plan has always been for me to quit my job when I got pregnant, but you know what they say about making plans.. lol.

I've been home for about 2 months now, and I'm running into an odd problem I wasnt really expecting. I had a very self-guided/self-motivating job, I thought I'd adjust fairly easily. I haven't been. I've been finding myself somehow falling behind on housework, and I am really struggling to self-motivate and am having a really hard time falling into a rutine. I get his lunch packed in the morning, he leaves, and I just. Wonder around for a while, I guess. I find myself getting stressed at the idea of tackling daily chores around the house and the idea of it is stressing me out? Which is crazy to me. I had no problem doing these things when I worked, but now? Even laundry feels.. daunting.

I don't feel like I'm being lazy, really. I think maybe I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the change, and tackling the lonliness while I'm home alone is driving me to spend more time on my phone, reading, or watching TV.

Am I the only one? Is there.. something I can do to get over this? I love being at home, and doing things for him, and I REALLY want this to work.

Any advice??

Thanks friends 💓

I’m currently in the process of decluttering and deep cleaning my kitchen. I live in a small rental house, and the kitchen is small. There is cabinet storage, however the cabinets themselves have an awkward depth and therefore it limits what I can keep in them. I also have my own steel wire kitchen shelves I bought.

I have been storing all the “extra” stuff that I very infrequently use in large clear storage bins, on the top shelf of the biggest wire shelving unit. It works…but I hate the way it works and it’s hard to get things down when I do need them. I don’t really have anywhere else I could put them, aside from the attic which would be more inconvenient to access.

These items are things like sheet cake pans, a roasting pan, cake/cupcake storage containers, cake platters, a smores “kit”, cookie cutters, random extra kitchen tools like a pie crust cutter, pastry cutters, extra silicone baking sheets, a double boiler, and so on.

So what are your best storage tips for these kinds of items?

Everytime I prep raw chicken, the dishes I use smell eggy/chickeny. I try washing them with soap multiple times but the smell remains. I thought maybe it’s the sponge (and I also don’t want the sponge to transfer smell to other dishes) so I tried washing it using just my hands and soap but it makes no difference. 😭 It’s such a hassle istg

The internet says it's both safe and that it can damage the grout. I'd rather get opinions from real people who have used one on their ceramic tile floors for a few years rather than those that may be bots or AI.

My house has all ceramic flooring, which is what I wanted when we decided to move to the desert. Living in the desert, though, means that we do get a good amount of dust tracked in and so the floors get dirty from that (my socks prove that!).

I figure I'd be using it at most once every week or two. I currently have a swiffer wet jet and a bucket-type mop, but neither seems to do a good job.

What’s everyone’s favorite dried lavender for making sachets? I bought some dried lavender at a lavender farm and I feel like I don’t noticed any scent from the sachets I’ve placed around our house. We are pretty clean people so just looking for a little extra fragrance here and there!

Any recommendations for a specific type/brand or where to buy it? I’m especially interested in lavender that actually keeps its scent for a while. Thank you!!

Hello!

I’m not a fantastic hostess, but I’m trying to learn!

I’m registering my son for a homeschool co-op, and we have to do a meeting with the director for his application. The director is coming to my house on Tuesday at noon, and she’s bringing her 10 year old and her baby.

What should I offer in terms of refreshment? The noon time is throwing me off here. Obviously, we’re not having a full on lunch, but I’m sure having a beverage and snack on offer would be nice. I just don’t know what?

All ideas welcome!

Hey friends!
I’m a reasonable facsimile of a house-spouse, and my mom died in December. She’s the one I’d usually ask about this.

Our extractor fan/hood/filter thingy literally drips orange grease onto the hob/countertop.

I regularly (once a month or so) pull out the filter insert and degrease it in hot water and washing up liquid (dish soap), and hang dry.

I almost always use the fan when cooking, and especially when doing something steamy like soup.

We don’t have a deep fryer, and rarely shallow fry things. Where is all this coming from?

How can I reduce, mitigate, or stop this, please?

Thanks in advance!

Hello-

I’m looking for a book suggestion that has a lot of basic recipes for things like apple cider vinegar, bread, etc outside of just a normal cook book for meals. Some kind of homemaking/homesteading encyclopedia type book maybe. Yk the stuff our grandmas knew how to make and do that’s been lost in the past generation or so.

Thank you!

thinking of buying new home essentials, since i'm a young adult na want maging organize and neat ang place. but still checking kung anong essentials yung dapat na unahin bilhin. bet ko sana dryer, vacuum and dehumidifier kaso limited ang budget pa lol

what are your top home essentials/ must haveee?

Trying to clean garage with a lot of leftover feces Feces are displaced, but the issue is cleaning up so I can move things back into our garage after Clean Up I’m helping a friend out so we’re trying to do it on a low budget and not have cleaners come in and spend $700 Any and all information will help us a lot. Currently reading do bleach and water. But are there any other disinfectant that we should use and also what other equipment should we get? Thank you so much for any and all help. My friends also appreciate your time.

Im finally moving so that I can bring up a family in safe surroundings. The house i've been in hasn't been adequate to start a family. Now i'm choosing somewhere to start fresh, what do you suggest I make sure i have to set myself up for harmony and a better life? For instance ive not had a sofa for the last 4 years, just an armchair. That has made a huge difference. On a sofa my litle dog could have layed side by side. You get what I mean, small things change your day to day life. Let's say for pregnancy, as in the UK we can move from a rental with 2 months notice, what do I need in the house for me to finally feel settled for a period?

What books have inspired you or helped with your work as a homemaker? (Even books that aren’t directly about homemaking/inspired your work indirectly.)

I love reading non fiction and would love to hear what gems are out there worth looking into!!

My family moved onto a mountain top next door to my MIL. our town has a grocery store, a post office, and a cemetery. My kids go to school the next town over about 20 minutes down the mountain. I have never lived so rurally and miss my old city a lot.

My husband works exactly the same as our kids' school hours (M-F/8-2) so he drops them off in the morning and picks them up after school. They are usually home by 2:30 (or 3 if they do something extra after school.)

I get my girls ready in the morning and then from 7:30-2:30.... it's just me. No car, nowhere to go even if I had one, just alone on a mountain top....

I have been very lost and sad in this transition. My husband worked evening shift in the city so we had all day together when the kids were at school and then I would clean the house and tend to the kids at night. I loved that set up and wish I knew how lucky I was to have it.

I find myself now with so much time alone.

my only hope in finding some kind of joy right now is to fall in love with homemaking. That is really the only thing on my horizon for the time being and I am tired of crying about it.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I don't really cook? Yeah, it makes me extremely anxious but that has to change with this new way of life too.

I want to fall in love with my routine and the comfort and stability and safety and warmth I bring to our family and home through that routine, I want to be a happy homemaker, I truly do.

I would so gratefully take any book suggestions, YouTube channels to watch, beginner cooking tips, or even just a breakdown of your daily routine.

At this point, I'd truly appreciated being told that I'm not the only person who had a hard time adjusting to this lifestyle. I feel like I should just be grateful to not have to work somewhere I hate, so then I feel guilty for being sad, and that just makes me feel even worse.

Thank you for reading.

EDIT___ There are so many amazing suggestions and words of encouragement in your comments! I am actually feeling hopeful, even just a glimmer. I am so grateful to you all for taking the time, thank you!I

I am riding the hope wave and doing something new: I am going to go with my MIL to the next town over tomorrow to help at her graphic design shop for the day. as much as I'm not thrilled for a full day with her (she's nice and funny, just can talk and talk and talk and mostly gossip about people I do not know, it gets old fast haha), I am glad to get out of the house and kind of digest your suggestions and perspectives I hadn't considered before while I help my family and learn a new skill or two. I would have told her no if I wasn't feeling so encouraged to branch out, so again, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Hi all! I am trying to learn to be a better homemaker. I am a 24 yo mom of a toddler and a baby on the way and feel so overwhelmed by the many tasks I have as a stay at home mom, and I tend to feel a kind of paralysis of not knowing where to start/ what to do each day and when. Curious to see if anyone has book recommendations or a sample of what kind of rythms work for you? Most days I feel overwhelmed to tears by 3pm.

My husband never gets it but like, legitimately it takes forever to clean up dinner! I cook nearly every meal at home and they are somewhat involved because I mostly enjoy it.

But dang. Eat it for 20 mins. Clean for an hour.

I also clean as I go but still can’t manage to make it more efficient.

Help!

Edit: to be fair, I’m an experienced baker/cook and do rather complex meals and dishes. Most of my kitchen things can’t be just thrown in the dishwasher (cast iron, etc). Plus I’m on septic, so I have to really scrub those plates and grease and can’t just pitch it unwashed in the dishwasher. This might be my killer.

Hi! We have a new cheerleader in the house and she just got her uniform. It has a couple of stains from last year. No clue what they are - looks like it could be soda or coffee? What would you recommend for trying to lift the stains?

Also - the loose strings on the T are annoying to me. Can I trim those without harming the uniform?