Hi! I’m working on a personal product/UX project exploring task initiation and avoidance — specifically those completely ordinary tasks (replying to an email, making an appointment, filling out a form, cleaning something) that somehow feel disproportionately hard to start.

I’m trying to understand what actually happens in those moments: what makes a task feel heavier, what helps people come back to it, and whether the usual productivity-app stuff actually helps or just adds more pressure.

I’ve put together 6 quick questions, mostly multiple choice, and it should take around 2–3 minutes. You don’t need to use a productivity app or have any particular diagnosis to answer.

I’m especially interested in honest answers that disagree with my assumptions, so there are genuinely no “right” responses here.

Questionnaire link

Thank you! :)

So I (53m) was just (yesterday) told that I am ADHD, no surprise really, negative on being autistic. I am off work now because of LongCovid & have already applied for my disability.
What exactly does this diagnosis mean for me? What will having this information do for me? What is my next step. I have an appointment with my Dr today & my psychiatrist appointment is not till next week.
Any and all input would be greatly appreciated.
My symptoms are mainly paying attention to instructional videos or any kind of classroom setting. Also struggle with being told what to do. I love people telling me what they have done when they were in my spot. But “You should…” really gets under my skin. I like everything to have a home & be in it. I am a bit of a germaphobe & neat freak. Gotta shower everyday, again if I cut my hair, again if I cut the yard.
Thank you all so much!

Hey! I’ve been wanting to find some people around my age (17-19) to actually talk to, but my brain completely short circuits trying to write these. Honestly, making friends irl has always been so exhausting because people usually just don't get how my ADHD works and end up calling me weird for being too intense or bouncing from thing to thing.

And a little thing about me so i spend way too much time hyperfixating on drawing random things (mostly food and pastries because I have a ridiculous sweet tooth), deep diving into weird biology facts about plants and animals and listening to old rock music from the 50s–90s on an endless loop. My movie taste is a total mess either classic comedies or heavy psychological horror and I'm obsessed with vintage stuff and DIY projects :)

23 M🇧🇩, I suffer(dunno if its the right word) from severe ADHD. And keep myself hidden.
Asking from the Experts, how did you guys dealt with it.

Is Japan ADHD friendly? As someone who has ADHD.

my inability to be on time has cost me the one good thing I had going for me in this shitty year

Although I have no certain diagnosis or stuff, I (14F) was introduced to adhd and neurodivergency not too long ago (2 years to be exact) and it was fun at first, learning about the type of people that exist within us, It was actually my politics/ethics/humanitarian rights era for some reason, I had been deep into it, and adhd just seemed to catch my eye out of all the disorders I read about, following that, I was rlly like interested in it.

following professional advice, I know not to self diagnose myself because it just sounds stupid lmao, and all I searched about was purely for personal entertainment reasons, the fun part was matching symptoms, for me it was like a little game but I hadn't expected it to affect me so much, I start to suspect I have adhd because of all the little things that have also bothered me, believing I was always lazy and incompetent, I never thought of there being other reasons for it, almost always I'd be nagged about my 'forgetfulness' and 'unwilingness' to cooperate or just lay around in general and seeing people being comforted for the same reason on this side of the internet, I had always felt something weird brewing up in my heart, some sort of cultural shock you could say 😭

Not asking for diagnosis! just lmk what y'all think

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I genuinely don’t know where else to go. I’m not asking anyone here to diagnose me or give me medical advice. I mostly just want to talk about what I’m experiencing and hopefully get some advice about how to approach it it I guess. If there is a better sub for this then please lemme know because r/vent doesn’t allow advice, r/advice doesn’t allow venting, and r/ADHD I don’t think allows people like me who “think” they have ADHD so I don’t know what to do.

I think I have ADHD. I don’t want to diagnose myself, but ive recently realized patterns have been occuring over my whole life, even as early as in kindergarten when I look back. 

My parents always call me lazy and say things like, “You’re not trying hard enough” “You need to apply yourself” or “You’re not putting in the effort.” Holy fuck it triggers me so badly because it literally feels like I’m drowning in the middle of a lake while everybody is sitting safe and sound on the shore yelling at me to “just swim.” LIKE MAYBE I CANT FCKING SWIM OK?? (I know that’s probably a stupid analogy, but that’s genuinely what it feels like sometimes.)
Being told these things after an eight-hour school day, where I’ve had to watch everyone around me seemingly effortlessly do their work while I can’t even finish the first question, is unbelievably discouraging. It makes me feel so guilty. But I don’t even know what “trying” is supposed to look like anymore. People tell me I’m not trying, and maybe they’re right, but I don’t know how to make myself try the way everyone else seems to.

What scares me so badly is that even if I somehow got evaluated, what if they just tell me I don’t have ADHD? Is there literally just nothing wrong with me and I really am just stupid and lazy? At times I almost catch myself hoping I have ADHD, because if I don’t, I feel like I have nothing to explain why I can’t just be normal. I always see people talking about how they get diagnosed and taking meds and stuff changed their life, and I feel so incredibly envious of them. 
I’m sorry if this is too much. I just want somebody to tell, even if it’s strangers in the internet. And I’m curious if anybody else went through a similar situation and if so how
they handled it. 

TL;DR: I’m struggling a lot and think I need an ADHD evaluation, but the adults around me interpret my struggles as laziness and I don’t know how to get help. 

I see people here who have ADHD and take responsibility, make systems, give advice, have relatively functional lives. I genuinely envy you.

I'm 31M, from India. Suffer from ADHD-PI, recurrent major depression, dysthymia, and general anxiety, including social anxiety. Extreme avoidance in all things. I was great in school. Never did homework, though, and kept spacing out. Loved to learn more about random topics. Structure at home and school, cram school, helped me keep my grades up. I got into a coveted computer science program.

Did well for the first year of common core engineering, before the CS courses started. That's when I got a laptop as well, for the first time, when my grades nosedived. Things stopped being intuitive. Didn't have any major activities, experiences, outings, or trips. Stopped going to classes. I even stopped basic hygiene. Stopped caring about the future. I used the internet like heroin. Barely graduated.

After that, I quit one job impulsively, and three I was fired from for my poor performance. Extreme procrastination. During all this time, I had multiple depressive episodes. Got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Sertraline improved my mood, but killed any motivation I had. Weight went up and down. Recently got diagnosed me with ADHD-PI. On 25 mg atomoxetine and two Auvelity a day now.

Work gives me this sinking feeling. Can't remember things, can't come up with next steps. Can't make design decisions, or remember enough context, or pay attention in meetings. I can't even make basic decisions about my life, or even the day. Have no sense of time. Get tired easily. Can't cook, can't drive. Never dated. The last 12 years have just been the internet. Reading novels. Picking up interests and dropping them. I can tell you about random topics, but I can't remember do basic chores. I'm practically a child in an adult's body.

Has anyone managed to crawl out of such a hole? Make an acceptable life for themselves?

Any suggestion is welcome.

I am not the only ADHD person in my family but the people with ADHD live so far away and I need advice on how to help control stuff.
I am not medicated and haven't been for three or four years now and my mood swings are wild, and my energy levels are either to high or not high enough, I know the latter part is do you trouble sleeping which I am trying to work on, but I would like help with my mood swings and high energy. My family say I have a short fuse and I don't know really how things sound when I say them,I think I saw it one way but then it comes off the complete opposite, as for the energy level my best example is what happened tonight, I was at a local theater which I love going to, at the end of the season they announce the next season shows, two of which I know and love so I was excited when saying yes but I was the loudest and afterward I of course was embarrassed but I was excited to hear the plays/musical. Any advice on these?

Hi I'm 17f and I'm trying to sleep right now but my brain, It won't shut up even if I tried so hard. So lately I've been obsessed with 50s vintage posters like those they have some cool food and stuff and I also just read some vintage magazines and now it's midnight I can't sleep do idk what to do but my head hurts so bad like I need to sleep but my brain won't sleep and it keeps thinking about those vintage posters and magazines...I'm not on meds but right now idk what to do. H E L P

(The pic is soemthing I like but now I can't get soemthing like that out of my head omg I'm going crazy cuz I feel so dizzy rn) Omg why whsgwggshwhs

M(23) here. I don't really know what I'm looking for with this post, but I think I need to get this out somewhere.

I'm currently in my last year of college. I study at one of the better business schools in my country, and I've been working in an industry I'm genuinely passionate about since my first year. I started as a part-time intern, switched jobs three times, and somehow ended up leading a department at a really good place while still studying. I manage my money fairly well, I keep up with college, and objectively, my life seems to be going pretty well.

But my personal life feels like a complete mess.

I've always struggled with attention and focus, and I have pretty severe ADHD symptoms. I've seen three different doctors over time and tried medication and therapy for anxiety, but I still haven't really figured out how to manage myself.

The strangest part is that I'm actually pretty functional when I'm busy. My schedule is packed with college, work, sometimes multiple workplaces, meetings, responsibilities, etc. I can keep going because there's always something I have to do.

The problem is what happens when I finally have free time.

Especially at night.

I'll tell myself I'm going to sleep, and then suddenly I'll decide to read a book, scroll, smoke, start doing something random, or just sit there thinking about things. Basically anything except sleeping. It's almost like the moment I don't have external responsibilities telling me what to do, I completely lose control of myself.

And I think my personal life is making that worse.

I ended a two-year relationship about three months ago. It was serious enough that both our families knew about us. But over time, I started feeling extremely burdened and inadequate in the relationship, and it was affecting the rest of my life. Eventually I decided it wasn't right for me and ended it.

My ex hasn't really moved on yet, and I feel terrible about that. At the same time, I'm now dating someone else who was already part of our friend group. My ex had accused me of cheating with her, but I genuinely don't believe I did. Things moved quickly after the breakup, but there wasn't overlap.

And the weird thing is that I actually really like this new relationship.

There aren't crazy butterflies or anything overwhelming. It's just... normal happiness. I feel comfortable. I enjoy being around her. And after how emotionally exhausting my previous relationship became, that feels really good.

But I can't seem to enjoy it without feeling guilty.

Whenever my ex tells me that I ruined her life, or I hear from friends that she's struggling or posting things on Instagram/Snapchat, I feel this horrible sense of responsibility. Sometimes I even feel disappointed when I hear that she's doing badly, which makes me feel like an awful person.

I don't want her back. I'm completely sure about that.

But I spent two years investing so much of my time, energy and emotions into that relationship. I think some part of me still feels responsible for what happened to her, even though I know ending the relationship was the right decision for me.

And now I feel like I'm not doing the new girl justice either because I'm constantly carrying all this guilt from the past.

I guess what I'm struggling with is that I don't know how to switch off.

I'm busy almost all the time, and somehow I've become dependent on being busy to function. The moment I have free time, I lose myself in distractions, overthinking, guilt, or things that I know aren't good for me.

I'm 23. On paper, I'm doing pretty well. I'm studying, working, progressing in my career, managing my finances, and generally building the life I thought I wanted.

But internally, I feel like I'm barely holding myself together.

I don't really know whether I need advice about ADHD, relationships, discipline, or just learning how to be alone with myself.

I think I just want to know if anyone else has experienced something like this — being extremely functional when life is structured, but completely falling apart when you finally have time to yourself.

Crossposted from the r/ADHD Reddit forum.